Chapter Twenty Seven.

Miley.

The toilet and me had become quite well acquainted over the past few days, and not only in the morning, it seemed this was a continuous new burden on my life. I leaned back against the wall in my pajamas wiping my lips disgusted, while my eyes filled with tears that were nothing more than my bodies response to feeling sick. It was like I'd lost control of everything and as annoying as it was, I was kind of get used to the ups and downs I was having.

It was six am, Nick was asleep, Luce was too and here I was. Pregnant and frustrated.

I pulled up my top staring at my relatively flat stomach running my hand down it. How could something so impossibly small be causing me so much mental and physical havoc? I poked my stomach a few times stopping unsure of whether I was supposed to do that, it might hurt the baby- wait why did I even care? I sighed at how confused I was. I didn't know what I wanted right now.

"What are you doing?"

My head spun confused by the voice to see a tired looking Luce standing at the door. I instantly sat up pulling down my top,

"I'm just-"

"Are you sick again?" She interrupted walking in.

I opened my mouth to respond but instead just nodded as her eyes watched me for a moment. We hadn't had a chance to talk last night, I hadn't been feeling up to much except sleeping since she got home from school.

"Do you want me to wake daddy up?"

"No!" I responded quickly, "No, no it's fine, let him sleep Luce. I'm okay."

Lucy just stared at me again before finally moving over, "You should go back to sleep too," I responded giving her a smile, "You have school and-"

"It's Saturday Miley." She cut me off.

"Oh," I murmured awkwardly, "Then you have piano practice."

"I quit piano."

My eyes widened, "You did? When?" I asked completely confused.

"While you were gone."

Her eyes just stared into mine again giving me the same look Nick did when he was trying to figure something out. I sighed looking at her, my stomach still uneasy. "Luce I'm sorry I haven't been there for you," I stated seriously, "I know you're mad, but a lot of things have been going on but-"

"I know," She whispered, "I heard you talking with daddy yesterday,"

"What about?" I asked nervously.

Lucy looked at me deciding to sit down, "About the baby, about you being scared…" She announced as I inwardly groaned, I hadn't wanted her to know. Shit.

"Luce I-"

"I know you don't want the baby Miley, daddy told me." She continued her voice staying strong, while everything in me was dropping. He told her that? After I specially told Nick to keep his big mouth closed. "I don't understand why though, I get that you aren't ready but it's not like you're going to have it tomorrow. You have like nine months." I looked at her just watching as she smiled at me moving over,

"Plus you can practice with Holly, babies don't care about who it is that takes care of them they just need to be kept alive." She stated bluntly, "I don't remember even being a baby Miley, so if you're not a perfect mom at the start I'm sure my brother or sister won't remember." It was strange to hear her say that, because I'd always been told the first few years of life were the most important, but she had a point.

"And it's not like we aren't going to help." Lucy stated getting closer, "I just don't understand why you're scared though, you're already a mom. You're my mom too Miley and you're great with me."

I listened to what she was saying but it only made me confused,

"Lucy I-"

"You may not think you're ready, but I do." Lucy interrupted.

I chewed on my lip thinking, "Lucy you can't say that because-"

"Then if you don't have the baby what are you going to do Miley?"

Her question was simple but is struck me like brick wall. With all my talk I'd never really thought about what I'd do if we didn't keep it. It sounded easy, simple even, to just say I didn't want the baby but I knew those two words were nowhere near the truth. I only had two options, abortion or adoption.

"Miley?" Lucy asked worried, "Are you okay you've gone pale are you going to-"

I threw up into the toilet feeling violently ill and for the first time I didn't think it was my hormones. Lucy was up in a second bolting from the bathroom yelling Nick's name as I spat the gross acid taste from my mouth, everything in me feeling utterly disgusted with myself. I kept saying it, that I didn't want the baby but I'd never ever consider abortion. Then what was I supposed to do? Adoption? How could I carry a child until full term then just give it up? I couldn't do that! I couldn't do anything.

"Hey, hey Oh god…do you want me to get you anything?" Nick's voice asked.

I just looked up at him and Lucy standing there staring at me unsure what to do while everything suddenly felt like a heavy weight. I slumped back against the wall unable to structure the words I was feeling into a sentence, because until now I'd never really thought this through. I'd been blinded by my own selfishness that I didn't even consider the baby. My baby.

"Miley it's okay, do you want to go back to bed? Shit I'm going to have to cancel lunch." Nick cursed under his breath as he easily helped me to my feet while I noted Luce was gone again.

I clutched onto Nick still thinking through everything,

"I have to keep it, I have too." I spoke out loud.

Nick stopped instantly looking at me, "What?" He asked confused.

I pushed him away and held my hands up towards him, I just needed space, I needed to think and right now I had to do that alone. I walked back to the bedroom closing the door as I collapsed onto the bed, my mouth still open in shock because I couldn't believe what I'd turned into.

I was a monster. I'd wanted to kill my child. How could I ever think that?

"Miley?" Nick asked outside, "Are you okay?"

I closed my eyes sitting up, "I just need to be alone." I responded.

"What did you say to her?" Nick hissed outside confused.

"Nothing I swear dad, I was talking to her about the baby…I just asked her what she was going to do if she didn't keep it. Then she threw up, that's it!" Lucy responded as I just sat there in shock.

I put my hand on my stomach again, rubbing it gently thinking about the baby. I let my instinct and heart take control trying to not over complicate everything for once. My normal logic needed to be put on hold for a minute and I had to realize that this was serious, it was happening. This wasn't a what if, this was a baby, my child who I was supposed to protect. I grabbed a pillow and covered my body with it falling back into the bed. I wasn't going to do anything I couldn't do anything.

I wasn't a murderer. I wasn't ready to be a mom either though.

"Miley," Nick announced outside, "I called Demi, don't be mad, but she's coming over with Holly. Babe I hate to leave you here, but I have to go to work, but I'm going to cancel this lunch with your dad and sisters because clearly you aren't-"

"Don't," I responded honestly, "I'm okay, I feel okay I'm just confused."

I felt my heart hammering as I chewed on my lip shaking my head, I was being selfish again blocking him out.

"Nick you can come in,"

The door opened as he peeked in giving a weak smile which I returned. "I'm sorry I feel okay it's just-"

"It's what Lucy said isn't it?" He asked, "I'm sorry I told her, this is my fault don't be mad at her-"

My eyes widened as I shook my head, "Nick I'm not mad at her, or you, she just said something and I just...I realized I've kind of been living in a dream state." I responded quietly looking away from my husband and instead at the pillow, "I've been thinking I had choices, but I don't."

"What?" Nick asked confused. "Miley we do have choices, don't make a decision-"

I looked up at him to see his face confused as I felt guilt ridden, "Come here," I whispered as Nick just stared at me unsure. I motioned for him to come over as he finally did closing the door. Nick moved over and sat down beside me as I reached out taking his hand,

"Miley we do have-"

"I think I want to keep it." I responded staring at our hands.

I stopped thinking about the feelings that had tainted my system so vividly only moments ago in the bathroom. When I thought of the other two options I felt so sick I literally threw up, because a part of me wanted the baby even if the rest of me was screaming in terror and whose to say that wasn't the logically part of me trying to break through?

"What?" Nick asked his voice so damn confused as I swallowed.

"I just…" I groaned, "I can't get rid of it, and I don't want anyone else to have it. It's mine."

"He or she is ours." Nick whispered.

I looked at him and I saw something in his eyes I hadn't expected. I thought he'd be worried, concerned and terrified yet the first thing I saw was relief something I hadn't seen for a while. Nick leaned forward kissing my cheek,

"You look exhausted, lay down and get some sleep." He ordered.

I looked at him, "But we need to talk about-"

"Not right now we don't, just relax I want to make sure you're making this decision with your full heart and mind and not just exhaustion filtering your speech." Nick responded pulling the blankets up over me tucking them in as he stood up, "Now please get some sleep? And next time when you're sick call me, I'll come no matter what time, hour or where I am okay?"

I nodded as he leaned down kissing my forehead, "I love you,"

I bit my lip, "And the baby?"

Nick looked at me confused but then smiled nodding, "Of course, I love them too."

He turned to leave only to stop, "Oh and Luce accepts your apology, and she's right Miley you might not be ready right now but you will be and you're a great mom already. Try and spend some time with Holly until I come pick you up it might help…"

"Will do," I responded as he smiled opening the door, "And thanks Nick."

"For what this time?" He asked.

"For not letting me rush into anything."

"I'm not going to let you, or us, make a mistake we'll regret."

With that he was gone and I felt somewhat calmer, even if it was for only a little while. Maybe I could be a mom? I mean I wouldn't be alone, I'd never be with such supportive families- well one at least. I dozed off hopeful and nervous not sure where my brain was but my heart seemed to be firmly taking a side now.

A smelly floral perfume filled my nostrils as I opened my eyes sniffing the air confused. I rolled over looking up letting out a surprised scream as I almost fell out of the bed in shock. Demi's eyes flew to mine, just as a shrill cry ripped from the object in her arms and she instantly looked panicked.

"Holy shit, okay Holly calm down…Aunt Miley just got fright that's all."

The screaming only got louder as I sat up open mouthed looking at the small little baby in her arms it's pink mouth wide open. Demi groaned looking exhausted her eyes turning to me,

"She only just went to sleep, thanks a lot Miley." Demi snapped half heartily as I kept my eyes locked on the little girl in her arms. "How you doing anyway? Nick said you had a rough morning, and a rough day…and a rough week in general."

I looked at Demi still half asleep as she smiled at me, "Hey you here or not?"

"I am," I murmured over the crying, "Does she cry like that all the time?"

Demi smiled at me and shook her head, "I guess I kind of deserve it, I thought it would be a good idea to sit down up here with you in case you got sick only I forgot you are a light sleeper and scare easy." Demi looked down rocking Holly as I stared amazed, "She's actually pretty good, she doesn't cry much."

"I still can't believe it, she's so little." I whispered.

"I know, here you take her."

"But she's crying," I responded and Demi looked at me.

"And I'm tired, I didn't volunteer to come babysit you Miley. Nick forced me here so I'm going to have a nap and you're going to look after Holly for me." Demi announced practically pushing her onto me,

"What? No I can't-"

Demi got to her feet, "I'll be in the guest room, don't wake me up."

I just stared at her, "But I don't know what to do with it." I hissed panicked.

Demi rolled her eyes at me, "You'll work it out." She stated looking at me, "And if you haven't noticed she's stopped crying already." My eyes widened and I looked down to see two big brown eyes staring up at me, but her mouth was firmly closed.

I smiled as I reached down touching her cheek, "Hi Holly," She just stared as I sighed, "Demi I really-" I looked up to see she was gone as I froze looking back to the newborn confused,

Now what?

Nick.

"Hey I'm home, you ready to go to lunch?"

I dropped my briefcase on the floor waiting for a response that didn't come. I sighed knowing that wasn't a good sign, especially after this morning. I didn't know if it was the exhaustion the hormones, or something else but at the moment I wasn't sure anything that came from Miley's lips wasn't entirely what she was actually feeling. Even though I hoped this morning was Miley's true feelings.

"Miley? Demi?" I called out looking around.

I'd dropped Lucy off at Selena's on the way to work hoping like hell I'd come home to a some what emotionally stable wife, instead it appeared she'd either run away or disappeared. Great, because telling her father that she wasn't only pregnant but I'd also lost her was going to make the whole lunch ordeal so much easier.

"Demi? Miley-"

"Stop yelling I was asleep" Demi's voice groaned.

I turned looking up the marble staircase as Demi yawned stretching her arms, I couldn't help but smile seeing my disheveled best friend walking down the staircase like a zombie. "You know Joe kind of looks exactly like you do at the moment, messy hair, bags under the eyes, walking half dazed, looking kind of like-"

"Don't finish that sentence Nick! Plus I remember you looking a lot like this when Lucy was born." Demi proclaimed finally taking the last step with a dramatic huff, "I didn't realize I could be this tired and still moving, It doesn't seem humanly possible."

I moved over giving her a hug, "It's only going to get worse before it gets better."

She snorted pushing me away combing her fingers through her greasy hair. "You can hardly talk, things are only going to get a million times worse from now on for you too. At least I've popped the infant out, Miley still has to-"

"Stop, I don't want to hear it. Where is my wife anyway?"

Demi sniffled looking around, "I don't know,"

"You were supposed to look after her!" I snapped.

She glared at me, "I just had a fucking child pulled out of my body Nick, I've had barely any sleep for the past four days and my husband, much like you, decided he'd go to work on a Saturday morning instead of helping me. I'm sorry I'm not the most capable babysitter right now but I'm fucking tired of this shit!" Demi yelled at me and walked off heading towards the kitchen.

I groaned following after her, "Then where is Holly, Demi? Where is your daughter?"

Demi stopped midstride and turned around looking nervous,

"I gave her to Miley."

"You did what?" I hissed as she shrugged waving her hand, "She'll be fine!"

Demi headed back towards the kitchen as I followed frustrated, "Demi!"

"What? She needs to get prepared-"

"She doesn't want the baby."

Demi laughed grabbing a glass, "Keep telling yourself Nick, she wants the baby."

"No she-"

Demi turned looking at me, "Trust me, she wants the baby."

Demi went back to preparing what appeared to be her brunch completely carefree as I clutched my hair not knowing where the hell Miley was and why the heck Demi was so calm! I scanned around returning to the hallway finally spotting a piece of paper stuck awkwardly to the back of the front door. I rushed over grabbing it just as the door opened almost knocking me off my feet.

I looked up to find Miley completely relieved, "Thank god, where have you been?"

I moved over to hug Miley as she held her hand up giving me a frown, then pressing her index finger to her lips, "She's sleeping finally, I took her for a walk because she wouldn't stop crying." Miley explained in a whisper looking down at the bundle of pink blankets in her arms. I smiled seeing Holly's little face peacefully lost in sleep and thankful to see Miley with color in her cheeks,

"Okay we need to go,"

Miley looked up at me disappointed, "But Demi wants me to look after the-"

"Here give me Demi's child and she can mother it, we need to go see your family."

"But-"

"No buts, we have to go Miley. I promised your dad."

She looked at me and groaned, "Fine, but he's going to be so mad and-"

"And it'll be fine, okay? Go get ready. Give me Holly."

Miley reluctantly handed Holly over giving me a look before heading up the stairs as I headed back to the kitchen with my niece. I moved over to the bench to see Demi stuffing her face with corn chips, chocolate and pickles.

"I thought cravings were supposed to end after the bub was born." I announced.

Demi turned her mouth full of food as her expression dropped seeing Holly, "And I thought I might just have a few more blissful hours of silence," She took Holly from me smiling at her daughter, "Okay screamer I suppose we better go home, at least you're asleep that might give mommy ten more minutes to rest before you go all murder victim shrieking on me again."

"Thank you for looking after Miley." I said sarcastically.

"I did," Demi responded, "I'm training her to be a mom. Tell her I said thanks for keeping Holly alive, bye Nick."

"Bye Dem."

Twenty minutes later Miley finally came down the stairs sulking her way towards me. "Nick do we really have to see them? Maybe I could just cut all ties with them?" She asked hopefully and I rolled my eyes,

"No, they're your family. Plus it appears your sisters are feeling guilty at least."

Miley's posture perked up as I motioned for her to walk towards the car, "I drove past the florist, and it was open…someone must be working there." I responded as Miley looked at me intrigued.

"But they quit."

"That they did, that's why we need to go to lunch to sort this all out." Miley groaned but nodded as I opened the door to my car for her.

The drive was pretty silent on my part while Miley on the other hand gave me a full run down on her morning with Holly. I watched her intrigued as she talked about how she final got our niece to stop crying and that walking around really helped calm Holly down. Her ramble was almost one of a proud mother, not an Aunt, and I wondered if maybe what she'd said to me this morning was the truth. Had she changed her mind again? Was Demi right? Did she want the baby?

"I'm going to tell them." Miley announced as we pulled up.

"That we're married- they already-"

"That I'm pregnant." She stated looking at me.

I stared at her confused, "You sure? Miley we-"

"I need their help Nick, as much as I hate them right now." Miley chewed on her lip hesitating as she looked towards her childhood house, "I need them to give me an opinion on what to do."

I swallowed feeling the pain already emerging in my face. Billy was going to kill me.

"Let's go" I whispered meekly.

We exchanged a look and got out of the car heading up the pathway towards the house. We'd only made it a few steps towards the front door when it opened, as Miley reached out taking my nervous hand in her own. She gave me a weak smile squeezing it which I didn't return,

"I won't let them do anything to you. I promise." She whispered.

We both turned to find her entire family now located outside staring at us. Miley's three sister's stood stationary all glaring at their sibling like she'd suddenly become the biggest outcaste the world had ever seen.

"You're alive." Brandi announced sarcastically.

Miley released my hand ignoring her sister's instead focusing on her dad. Billy stood there just glaring at Miley, an unbelievable amount of hurt in his face as she sighed shaking her head.

"Dad I-"

"I can't believe you did this, do you know how disappointed we are?" Billy hissed at her. His tone was enough to send Miley's briefly confident expression to drop as her eyes fell to the ground.

"I just wanted to make things simple dad, I-"

"Miley it's not just that you eloped, but the fact you've come back and have basically ignored all of us for what feels like a month. We're your family Miley and I feel like you've just gone and replaced us. Yes what your sister's did was wrong, and I've given them the exact speech but you…" Billy's voice fell as the frustration in his eyes burned, "I thought you were a better person than this, I thought we'd got through all our problems but clearly-"

"We have" Miley pleaded, as I smelt the wafting scent of roast chicken fill my senses. "Dad we have, I just…there has been a lot going on, Demi had the baby and-"

"And that's no excuse Miley!" Brandi yelled.

I saw Miley's eyes suddenly begin to water, and to everyone else I'm sure it appeared like she was going to cry but I knew better. I'd seen this every single morning for the past three days. I stepped towards her pale expression the chicken smell still strongly tainting the air,

"Sir," I started trying to push Miles back to get some fresh air,

"No, I don't even want to speak to your right now Nick you-"

"Sir I'm sorry okay? We never intended to-"

"This is between my daughter and me, she-"

The sound behind me was nothing more than gruesome as I froze hearing Miley throw up onto what most likely was the flowerbed. I didn't look at her but instead saw the reactions of her family. Both Emily and Noah just stared utterly disgusted, while Brandi and Billy looked at Miley open mouthed and confused.

"She's sick?" Brandi hissed rushing down the steps towards her sister.

I watched as Brandi went to Miley's aid, the temporary block seemingly gone as Emily quickly followed. The second Brandi touched her though Miley backed up looking furious,

"Get away from me." Miley snapped wiping her mouth, "I'm fine."

"You just threw up everywhere!"

"Yeah she's been doing that a bit lately," I murmured quietly.

I must have said it loud enough because instantly all eyes were on me.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Billy snapped.

He already knew though, they all did.

Miley pinched her nose trying to protect herself from the food scents as she looked towards them all.

"I'm pregnant. Surprise" She yelled simply as there was just deadly silence.