Chapter 43

"Oh, geez, do we really have to go to this thing?" Brian groaned the next day.

"You know, we won't have many chances to go out socially after the twins are born," Briana replied. "And besides, I think it would be nice to go to a christening. It will give me some idea when we have one for the twins."

"Aw, no, no, no, Bree. That's worse than me having to go to mass every Easter Sunday. Do you women have an unspoken rule about putting new fathers through hell or something?"

"Brian, it's only for a couple of hours, and yes, there is free food afterward. One day won't kill you."

"The food better be worth me putting a suit on and sweating my ass off sitting through this thing."

"More like while you sit in the back pew and text, burp, fart, and still act like you did at mass when you were twelve?"

"Who the hell gave you that idea?" Brian looked shocked.

"Grandmother to be," Briana smiled.

"I should have known," he groaned. "What else did Ma spill to you during the weekly gossip session?"

"Nothing much, just how she was always turning around, snapping, 'Brian, this is a church, not a bar, feet down, gas in, phone away'!"

"The priest was boring. The one will probably be boring today too."

"They're priests; do you think they're going to strip or something?"

"Sometimes I wish they would."

"Brian, it's mass, not a bachelor party; you pray, you eat stale bread, you drink wine, you sing, you pray some more, you hold a candle and move on with your day! What's so difficult about that?"

"I forgot. I married a Presbyterian," he laughed. "Oh, are you going to be in for a treat today, lady."

"I'm sure I am. I think it's going to be a beautiful thing seeing a baby christened. And I doubt you'll be too bored, because Paul's going too."

"Oh, this should be a barrel of laughs. Paul dives for cover if a kid even as much as whimpers or a diaper vibrates."

"Nadine talked him into it," Briana pointed out. "So how do I look?"

"Like a glowing mama to be with a little round belly," he smiled.

"Oh my God, I'm looking fatter!"

"Sweetheart, you are not fatter. You're carrying twins and are absolutely beautiful." Brian came up behind her and rubbed her middle. "How about we have a little alone time before we go so I can convince you how gorgeous you are?"

Later:

"Why did they talk us into this shit again?" Paul whispered. "Man, I could have been home sparking up a couple of fat ones and watching some good movies, but Nadine dragged me here."

"Guess she and Briana thought you'd keep me company," Brian replied with a grin. "We can go through this hell together."

"And why have you been grinning like a cat who ate the canary since we got here?"

Brian pulled out his phone, typing in a text. Soon Paul's phone vibrated.

"What the…." he began.

"It's me, dude," Brian whispered. "I sent a text."

"What for? I'm right beside you."

"Just read it."

"Fine." Paul pulled out his phone.

PREGNANT SEX ROCKS! it read.

"Dude!" Paul hissed, snickering. "Are you serious?"

Brian nodded, joining the snickering. "If you ever knock a girl up, you should try it sometime," he added.

Briana turned around, glaring at them. "Will you two cut it?" she whispered in an annoyed tone. "This is a church, not a cocktail party."

"She sounds like your mom now," Paul said.

"Seriously, guys," Nadine added. "Knock it off or I'll tell Cathy that Paul wants to hold the baby."

"Uh, yeah, sure, we'll shut up now," Paul replied, clearing his throat. His phone buzzed again.

We can still text, dude, it said. Brian sat beside him and grinned mischievously.