Chapter 3-
To Boil a Potato
"BOY!"
Both women jumped, startled by the shout, and confusion was etched in their faces as Strax charged into Vastra's room.
"I am taking you in as a Prisoner-Of-War, in the name of the Greater Sontaran Empire!" he boomed, seizing one of Jenny's arms.
"What for?" argued back Jenny indignantly, fruitlessly trying to tug her arm out of his grip.
Strax turned around slowly and glared at her.
"For holding lesser Sontaran fleets in your food preparation room, or 'kitchen'." He spat out the last word as if the use of human words tarnished his—admittedly meagre—reputation.
"What on Earth are you on about?" Jenny hissed back.
In the kitchen, Strax released Jenny so he could stride over to a far countertop, sweep up some objects off it, return to the women and hold out the evidence with a flourish.
"I have scouted the area. There are a total of 26 captives in this immediate vicinity."
Jenny tried to suppress a giggle in vain.
"What are you laughing at, boy?" snapped Strax, affronted that a prisoner was laughing in the face of the Greater Sontaran Empire.
"Y'know, Strax, they're...potatoes. We eat them, they're vegetables. They're not intelligent bein's," explained Jenny after collecting herself. Vastra seemed rather amused by the whole situation.
An hour later, Strax had to admit that potatoes were not degenerated Sontarans. The most serious bone of contention between the maid and the butler, though, had to be the Case of the Moonites. Strax was adamant of their existence, and Jenny had said many a time that the next time the Doctor visited, she'd force him to take them to the Moon. Something Vastra was looking forward to seeing.
Due to an excessively long argument over the possibility of warrior vegetables, breakfast had been cancelled and Jenny started work on lunch instead. As Strax stormed out of the kitchen, Vastra took a step forward from the corner of the room.
"I sensed you next to me last night," she said quietly. Jenny accidentally scored the surface of the worktop before replying.
"'M sorry Ma'am, i' was the only thing I could think o'..." she trailed off as she realised that she had just lied. Oops.
"It's fine, just remember that reptiles can pick up more than what they can see, even in repose, or sub-conscience" replied Vastra, flicking out her tongue in an extremely snake-like manner. So snake-like that it caused Jenny to think aloud.
"Silurians 'ave a Jacobson's Organ too, Ma'am?"
Vastra was a little surprised by Jenny's knowledge of reptilian anatomy, which the maid saw and hastily explained.
"It's just that I've seen you readin' that 'uman anatomy book quite a few times now, so I thought I could read up on reptile anatomy." Jenny only realised afterwards how rude that could have sounded.
"Well, let's just say that snakes didn't quite, develop, the Jacobson's Organ," Vastra replied. "Our laboratories gave evolution a little...helping hand." Vastra gave her an impish grin, not unlike Jenny's, which made the human's heart skip a beat.
"This has always led me to question the necessity of a nose," Vastra continued, twitching said part.
"You look perfect as you are, Ma'am," Jenny replied quietly.
In turn, this sparked a light conversation about unnecessary biological features. After speculating over the appendix, Jenny deemed lunch ready to serve. If anyone walked in now, they'd think that Jenny had murdered someone due to all the raw meat and blood from Vastra's meal, as well as the sizeable knife the maid still held. Unfortunately, Strax did just that.
4 smashed glasses and a couple of war threats later, the Paternoster Gang settled down to lunch. Vastra swore the tension was so thick between the other two, she could pluck it from the air and set it alight. She also feared for Strax a little, as Jenny continuously kept flicking her vision to his probic vent (or at least where it should be on his battle suit) whilst gripping her knife very tightly.
A/N: Very shouty and ever-so-slightly nerdy (I knew that Jacobson's organ thing already, without research. Sheesh), but I couldn't resist.