A/N: Just so we are clear this POV is Jean's and I am not a Jean Grey fan in anyway shape or form and doing this chapter goes against my very nature. But I think her perspective will be very valued in the continuation of this particular story. So please, again, I implore you to stay with me on this one.

I've fallen from grace and I refuse to get back up. The perfection in which that has normally surrounded my life faded on that day two years ago when I was captured and brought to the Eastern Castle of Mutant Superiority. My life's ambitions and goals seemed to shatter with every foot step I took as I entered that haunted dwelling.

But now as I look at it from a distance I feel a shudder against my heart. For two years I was safe from death and starvation. For two years I was able to be the person I always wanted to be. I was loved by a man I myself had always wanted to be loved by. I was wild and carefree when in the past I was conservative and logical. And I want to go back to the comfort it provided for me.

We've only been back on the side of the resistance for a few hours and I can feel yet another life I had built for myself falling down all around me. Scott hasn't spoken to me since he discovered Logan and mines love affair but as I look over the horizon of the burning sun set I don't particularly care.

"We're sending Jubilee out for the recon mission," Scott whispers to me from across the private room he has set up for me and inadvertently for Logan as well.

"Do you think that wise to send her back out so soon?" I ask him not turning to face him. I am momentarily captured by the sun's warm hues of burnt umber, magenta and rosy pinks.

"She requested to go," he replies not daring to cross the distance between us. I don't blame him, we are worlds apart and the distance is almost too great to transgress.

"It seems that a lot of people seem to be volunteering for individual missions lately," I snap back. I won't believe he was foolish enough to allow Rogue to go and kill the only man she will ever love. A woman he himself cared for more than what I believed was necessary.

"Yes," he replies, "X-Women have this thing apparently about loyalty towards the people who own their hearts."

I can feel the double meaning and hurt behind every word he says. But again I refuse to care. I was captured, was gone for two years and needed the companionship of a fellow friend. Logan just happened to be the man that was waiting at my side. Just like Rogue was the woman waiting at his.

"Not just their hearts," I say with a sigh allowing my previous thoughts to drift slightly away from me.

"Do you hate me?" He asks just after a brief moment of silence. I have to think about that.

Do I hate him for believing me dead and never coming to find me? Do I hate him for falling in love with another woman? Do I hate him for allowing that said woman to go off and get herself killed? Do I hate him for not stopping her when he had the chance? Do I hate him for killing the man who saved all of our lives?

No. I don't.

"No I can't hate you Scott," I finally tell him as I slowly turn to face him.

"But?"

"But I am…," I stop and reassess my answer. Nothing good comes from hurried words and quick looks, "I am upset over the whole situation. We don't have many members left and inadvertently killing off one of those said members at a chance at killing a man whose place will be filled shortly after his death is very illogical," I respond.

"Everything is very illogical right now Jean," he says like it's venom on his tongue. I can't help but smile.

"Yes," I begin to say, "Who would have thought that you and Rogue would have become lovers, especially, with her strange attachment to Gambit."

I say in spite of what I now consider my new demeanor. We can't all change over night you know.

"And who Jean might I ask would have thought that Logan and you would ever make a good match," He says defiantly and I can feel my smile broaden.

"No one," I reply.

"Jubilee leaves in two hours. Make sure she's ready," He commands me and I almost want to laugh.

"She's ready Scott she doesn't need anyone's help, especially not mine. Gambit taught her well during her captivity," I say drawing out my words as I close the distance between us. Nevertheless as I shorten the distance I suddenly realize that we are not just merely worlds apart but galaxies.

"Gambit is a traitor to his kind."

"No Scott," I say bringing myself as close to him as I dared, "we are."

"What do you mean?" He asks me as he backs away, the contact almost too unresisting.

"We've betrayed ourselves, not just our people. We've allowed our mission for peace on Earth to over ride our love for one another. We place other people's lives ahead of our own. You killed Rogue and Gambit to save the rest of humanity. I wonder what would have happened if instead of killing them we had just simply loved them, like Gambit loved Rogue and like I love Logan. Do you think then we would have had peace on Earth like Xavier preached? Love all humans, mutants and other's alike?" I ask as a buildup of angry tears threatens to overtake my strong resolve.

"It's never that simple Jean," he responds and I get my answer. I am too tired to fight, too tired to care. I turn to leave; tired of this round about conversation we seem to keep having with one another. However before I reach the door leading out of my room I stop short. Turning to Scott I give him my answer to my own questions.

"Actually Scott, it is."

With that I leave him standing in mine and Logan's room and head off towards where I can feel Jubilee waiting. The girl has a lot more on her mind than simple lover's quarrels and dead dreams.