Chapter 26

I've never seen this kind of love
The kind that won't wash away and then leave you in the dark

Patrick stoked the fire, watching with satisfaction as the deep red flames grew. He smiled lazily as he felt Robin's arms close around him and her lips found the back of his neck. A small shiver worked its way down his spine as she pressed her body against him. Seated on the hearth, he turned slowly and pulled her to his lap.

"Nice fire," she remarked softly.

Unable to resist her inviting mouth, he nipped at her lips. "I have some skills." Sliding his hands underneath her sweater he slowly palmed her breasts, revelling in the feel of them in his hands.

"I'll say" she replied breathlessly as she pushed further into his hands. Threading her fingers through his hair, she captured his lips with her own; both of them moaning at the contact. She delved her tongue inside his mouth caressing the warm confines.

Withdrawing his hands he took hold of the hem of her hockey sweater and pulled it from her body. Balling it up, he looked at her mischievously.

"What do you think you're doing mister?" she challenged.

Holding it near the fire, he waggled his eyebrows playfully. "Just thinking of the appropriate way to dispose of this."

Her brown eyes first widened and then narrowed in mock anger. Launching herself forward she tackled him, pushing him to the ground. "Don't even think about it buster!"

Laughing, Patrick tossed the offensive sweater behind his head and returned his attention to his girlfriend. Reaching his hand behind her, he flicked open the clasp to her bra and gently pulled it from her. He rolled her to her back and kneeling up, stared at her in admiration for several beats before pulling his own sweater off.

Unable to help herself, Robin reached up and traced the outline of his chest, sending a shiver right through him.

"Do you like it when I touch you?" she asked throatily as her thumbs grazed across his nipples.

Unable to speak, he nodded his response. His eyes were heavy-lidded with desire and his tongue escaped from his mouth, licking his lips in a gesture of appreciation. Gently pushing his arousal against her, he dipped forward and placing his mouth on her left breast, sucked hungrily on the hardened peak. Arching from the ground she pushed against him, silently begging him for more as his tongue swirled around her nipple, flicking it teasingly.

As he moved to her other breast she seized the back of his head, pulling him closer.

"God, Patrick" she whispered.

His hand moved down her torso skimming his fingers along her smooth skin, her muscles rippling under his touch. Making quick work of the button and zipper on her jeans he slipped his hand inside, cupping her sex. A groan escaped from the back of her throat as she raised her hips from the floor, grinding against his hand. Seeing her glassy-eyed and her mouth hanging open in abject pleasure, he pulled his hand away quietening her protests with a kiss.

Her jeans slid easily down her lean legs and he smiled lovingly at her. With the fire as the only light in the room, her skin was aglow and he could not remember a time when he had felt more attracted to another person. To have his carnal desires be linked so inextricably with his heart was a feeling unlike any other.

He pulled her black lace panties to the side and slipped a finger inside her, biting his lip at how tight and how wet she was. As he dipped down to suckle on her mound, he pumped his fingers slowly. He smiled against her sex as he heard her head thrash from side to side.

"Patrick" she gasped as his tongue circled her sensitive nerve endings.

"Does it feel good baby?" he asked, his voice vibrating against her skin.

"S-so good" she panted. Her chest heaving as her climax built. "B-but I want to feel you"

His erection strained against his jeans and as he stretched out over her, he ground his hips against her wet centre.

"Like this?" His mouth hovered over hers.

Her tongue darted from her mouth as she licked his lips. "More" she demanded. "I want to feel you inside me Patrick" Her eyes fluttered closed as he continued to press his hips into her.

Reluctantly pulling away from her, he stood up and dropped his jeans to the floor. As she leaned back on her elbows she stared at him wantonly. Every line of his body was perfection – from the slope of his shoulders to the cut of his abs. She could not get enough of his body. Reaching her hand out, she grazed her fingertips across the sensitive tip of his arousal.

"Fuck" he bit out, throwing his head back.

Robin spread her legs wider and smiled seductively at him. "Please Patrick" she said hoarsely, "I need you now." Curling her fingers between her legs, she stroked herself while holding his gaze. She felt a sense of power as she watched his hips jerk in response.

Grabbing hold of his jeans, he fished out his wallet and retrieved the condom. With slightly shaking hands, the tore open the wrapper and covered his throbbing arousal before falling to his knees. Moving towards her, he stopped as Robin shook her head.

"My turn" she stated, gently pushing him back.

Patrick smiled as he lay against the floor watching her crawl towards him. Straddling his hips, she slowly, excruciatingly lowered herself onto his erection before pulling back. Sucking in a breath, he stared pleadingly at her.

First nibbling on his lips before moving to the soft skin of his throat, she whispered, "Patience baby, I'll get us there."

She lowered herself again and then pulled back. In utter frustration Patrick seized her hips, bringing her down hard against him. Robin's mouth formed a perfect O as he filled her completely. Her hips undulated against his as she began to ride him.

He thrust hard against her, urgently urging her on. His hands flew to her breasts as he kneaded them, causing her to cry out with pleasure. They moved in unison, their bodies tangling together as they built to their climax.

Holding back until he felt Robin let go, Patrick pushed hard into her calling out her name as he did so before they both collapsed together in a sweaty heap. Feeling a chill, Patrick pulled the afghan from the arm of the couch and wrapped them in it letting the heat from the fire and the blanket warm them.

They had lain together silently - touching each other, gently kissing – for nearly an hour. Patrick had never been good with silence before he met Robin. It had always represented stagnation to him – that things were stalled – and he needed to fix it. But with Robin silence had become as fulfilling as conversation. She made him understand how it was possible to share everything with someone while saying little.

Feeling her eyes on him, he met her gaze and smiled lovingly. "Okay?" he asked as he stroked her hair.

Sweeping her hand over his chest, she nodded. "I was just thinking about you."

"Oh?"

"It's only…there's just seven weeks left until your six month HIV test," she told him quietly.

He had been so wrapped up with his recent diagnosis that it had almost slipped his mind.

Almost.

Looking at her with concern he touched her cheek. "Robin, why…why are you thinking about that now?"

Chewing on her bottom lip, she gave a small shrug. "I just – we've come a long way since that day in the OR." Her voice trailed off as she dropped her gaze. She fidgeted with the small tassels on the afghan.

"Robin" he called softly, "Hey." He cupped her chin and forced her to look at him. "You aren't still thinking about my stupid 'committed relationship by default' comment are you?"

"Not really," she demurred. "I know…I know you love me but in seven weeks-"

"In seven weeks we will find out if I have HIV or not. And in seven weeks I will still love you." Pulling them both to a sitting position, leaning against the hearth, he draped his arm around her. "Robin, this is going to sound really weird but there is a part of me that is grateful for what happened in the OR with April."

She looked at him with a mixture of surprise and worry.

"I…It forced me to stand still. I had been on the run from my feelings for you for a while" he admitted, his voice thick with emotion. "And confronted with something so big that I couldn't even get my head around it, I had to stand back and think about what mattered to me. And every time I did that, the first thing that came to mind was you."

He pushed all thoughts of the brain tumour from his mind. In this moment he refused to make it relevant. All that mattered was reassuring her that he loved her and that his feelings for her were not conditional on his HIV test. He could have kicked himself for ever letting her think for a moment that she was a stop-gap. She had never been that. She was the one person he wanted to spend time with more than any other. She had become so central to his life he had difficulty imagining his life before her.

Robin's eyes misted and she gave him a weak smile. "I didn't mean it to sound like I doubted that you love me…"

"I know" he told her. "But some times words get in your head and no matter how much you don't want to listen to them, they're there."

"Yeah." Reaching for his sweater she pulled it over her head and stood up.

"Where are you going?"

"I'll be right back" she called over her shoulder as she padded to her bedroom.

Having retrieved what she needed, she returned to him and pulling the blanket back snuggled up next to him. "There's something I want to show you. I…I've been working on my speech for the Nurses' Ball and I'm trying to make it as honest as possible. I have this sort of memory box and I was going through it the other night and I came across two things I wanted to…"

His words about running from his feelings resonated loudly with her. She had done the very same thing for so long. She was still guarded with him even though he had given her no reason to be and she desperately wanted to be as open with him as she could. Nervous but determined she passed him the fudge mocha ice cream wrapper.

"What's this?" he asked as he curiously inspected the wrapper.

Her cheeks were tinged red and taking a deep breath she dove in. "It's…it's the wrapper from the fudge mocha bar you brought me during the virus outbreak."

His eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You…you kept this?"

She nodded.

"Why?"

Burrowing closer to him she brought her hand to rest over his heart. "Because you and I didn't really know each other that well then – we really only ever spoke to fight or argue. Yet in the midst of all that you had noticed that it was my favourite ice cream bar and when…and when things are tough some times it's the little moments that can have the biggest impact. I…I kept it as a reminder."

"Of what?"

"A reminder that people are worth the risk and that it's okay to take a chance."

"You're an amazing woman Dr. Scorpio" he said throatily as he dipped his head to kiss her. "You said you had two things?" he asked, still holding the wrapper.

She passed the folded piece of paper to him. "There's only a few of us who have ever seen this and it probably doesn't seem like that big a deal. But back when we were still treating April you asked me about Stone and I told you that he was off limits. I was actually kind of a bitch to you about it" she reminded him. "And you never brought it again and I think…this won't necessarily tell you very much but it's a piece of paper that is jam-packed with memories for me."

Patrick looked from the paper to her. "Robin – you don't have to share any of this with me. I shouldn't have pushed you then and I don't want to intrude on your very personal moments like some big oaf-"

Threading her fingers through the wisps of hair at the back of his neck, she shook her head. "No. You aren't an oaf and they are personal moments but you are so important to me Patrick and I just – there isn't any reason why I can't share some of my life from before with you."

Carefully, Patrick unfolded the dog-eared paper and inhaled sharply as he saw the list.

"Stone…Stone was dyslexic and his writing and spelling were atrocious but he worked really hard at it. I know…I know those scribbles don't look like much but they're poetry to me."

Robin watched as he read it. He traced his finger down the list, stopping at 'watch a sunrise with Robin'. "Did he – did Stone get to do everything on his list?"

"Yeah" she replied hoarsely.

He gently folded the paper and handed it back to her along with the wrapper. "Thank you for trusting me with that – I know…I know it's not easy for you."

Rolling on top of him as she pulled the blanket close around, she sighed easily. "It actually wasn't that hard" she told him with a small smile. "Because I trust you with my heart."