Chapter 12: Forbidden and Forgotten
The sun was high in the sky as Natsuki and Shizuru neared the border. In Windbloom, the cool sea breeze would be blowing into the city and Shizuru would be standing on her balcony, breathing the last days of Hallows in, before the first snows of Yule. She shook her head sadly and looked at the approaching scenery. To the right on the horizon, the black outline of Orner, amid a sea of reddish sand that blew up little dust devils. Though still on Allied turf, the lush grasses were becoming more packed and weedy.
The gravitas of the situation finally dawned on Shizuru. Now, leaving their homeland for the first time, traveling with a wanted criminal, she felt… world-weary. Was this what Natsuki felt all the time? The sense that everything was just too much? She shivered. Shizuru did not want her eyes to ever look dead, like she had seen Natsuki's when she was in the pool, lost in a memory.
She snuck a look at the assassin. It was hotter out than anywhere near Windbloom, where she had probably lived for the last 8 or nine years, and the weather in Roedrenmon was cool as well, as it was situated on the Tor Delta- though the river Tor dried up long ago, in the war of Barren's Plain. Natsuki was sweating slightly under her layer of leather armour, but she stoically ignored it and continued striding on. She had explained last night, when they had camped by the edge of Eastwind Forest, that horses were more of a burden on Barren's Plain- they needed heavy food and water, and had small hoofs that sunk easily in the sand. The Halfling had elaborated that they meant to take a landship from Orner, via En'terrek, to hopefully somewhere near Roedrenmon. Though it would be much quicker to just go straight to the Halfling city, most sandships went via the big cities to restock… and it was a long, hard journey. Though they had originally planned to avoid Orner at all costs, Natsuki had finally conceded that it was the place where they were most likely to find passage.
However, Shizuru hadn't brought the subject up of why they were going to Roedrenmon- she feared it would be taken badly or sound too much like the time she had referred to the place as a swampy graveyard, to Natsuki's fury. She placated herself with thinking that wherever and why ever they were going, she would be away from her royal responsibility… to create an heir… and she would be with Natsuki. The thought made her shiver a little. Why was she suddenly affected so? Sure, she mercilessly teased the girl, but why was she suddenly weighing all her actions in front of the Halfling, to cast her in the most appealing light?
Full of puzzlement, she didn't notice that Natsuki had vanished from beside her. She looked around in confusion, and found the girl lying facedown in the grass behind her. Shizuru immediately brimmed with worry and ran over to her. Natsuki groaned slightly and rolled over. For the first time, Shizuru could see that there were huge black rings under her eyes, which were bloodshot and dry. Her skin was slightly burned and peeling in places, and there were several cuts on her forehead. Her normal, smooth face seemed to dissolve, leaving a burned husk of a girl.
"Natsuki! What on earth-" Shizuru exclaimed, alarmed at the sudden transformation. "What did you do?"
Natsuki moaned and accidentally swallowed some earth. She coughed and rolled over.
"I was using a Façade."
Shizuru fumed. Façades were spells that allowed the user to appear any way they wanted to the eyes of the world. Natsuki had obviously been using one to hide the signs of weariness from her traveling companion.
"When was the last time you slept?" Shizuru demanded, now very annoyed as well. Natsuki shifted uncomfortably and mumbled something incohesive. Shizuru took on a more disciplinary tone, the one she used for Mashiro when the girl got too naughty. "Natsuki, when did you last sleep?"
"I had a nap the morning before I went to bathe… I just have to stay up and take watch, Shizuru, else who knows what could get us."
"And Natsuki does not think me able enough to take watch?" Shizuru's fists clenched. Did Natsuki really think her that useless? That much of a hindrance?
"N- Shizuru, look… I got you into this whole mess, and the least I can do is protect you…"
Natsuki's face was filled with such sincerity that Shizuru almost smiled. Almost.
I can protect you too, my Natsuki…
Shizuru darted around. The voice seemed to have come not from the left or the right, but from within her. It was chilling and made her want to shiver, like Nagi. Her wish was his command. She suddenly felt very self-conscious- what had he done to her?
My Natsuki?
She shook it off as the work of higher powers. Sure, Natsuki was nice enough, but the Halfling had killed her father and was constantly stuck in the past. And her mood swings… like now; she had gone from fuming and scowling to weak and embarrassed. Shizuru sighed and offered the girl a hand up. She took it and Shizuru immediately felt a bolt of magic- it was difficult to describe, but her first thought was of the colour blue- and realized that this was Natsuki's reserve magic, which she had been planning to use to maintain the Façade, but could not after collapsing. Natsuki gasped a little, but it turned into a groan as she got to her feet and dusted her breeches off.
"You need to rest." It was a statement, not a suggestion. Natsuki nodded almost imperceptibly and yawned, looking awfully cute. Shizuru gave herself a mental shake and draped the assassin's hands over her shoulders and then hitched her up into a piggyback. She was lighter than Shizuru had expected, but she chalked it up to being a Halfling. The potion was still at work, but now Shizuru could feel Natsuki's invisible ears brushing against her neck. It was oddly comforting. The princess was not strong or disciplined like Natsuki, but she had many years of practice from carrying Mashiro around.
She gently began to walk back in the direction of the forest, for some cover to camp. Natsuki snored on her shoulder and she turned her head to look at the girl, forgetting she was so close- Shizuru's lips grazed the side of Natsuki's face.
Pulling away quickly Shizuru stifled the blush on her cheeks. She had not forgotten her thoughts about Natsuki a few nights ago, before the attack of Hich. This newfound compassion for Natsuki only pulled her further into the truth she was most unwilling to accept: that she liked the girl more than a traveling companion, more than a friend. Shizuru shivered and bit back a frustrated sigh, something she allowed herself to do very rarely, but this was not the time for weaknesses, not now when she was either an outlaw or breeding fodder.
They reached the treeline just before mid-afternoon, which left Shizuru a long time to set up camp. She knew they had lost some ground, but Natsuki's weariness was more important. She was, of course, for all of Shizuru's bravado and self-assurance, cultivated through royal upbringing, the principal protector.
This seeded an idea in Shizuru's head. She groped around in an unpracticed manner for the hilt of her dagger. Though she was indeed not a novice at the use of a blade, the way that street fighters wielded their weapons was sloppy and meant to either disarm an enemy or cut a purse string. She pulled it out and inspected the dull metal- for it had not been sharpened or polished in many years. The weight seemed wrong in her hand- the hilt too restricting and the whole weapon not long enough. Shizuru reasoned that she may have been more proficient with perhaps a spear or a polearm, but she did not have the resources to acquire one for herself at this time. She gave a few swiped and jabs with the dagger, unimpressed at how much of a toy it looked in her hand compared to the lethal weapon it became in Natsuki's. She looked down at the sleeping Halfling, whose now-visible ears were twitching as her tail brushed lazily from side to side in time with her deep, rhythmic breaths. Shizuru marveled at the sight- Natsuki was undoubtedly beautiful. Even haggard, sleeping and covered in cuts and bruises, she was more that Shizuru had even known, and that was a lot for a human. Aristocracy in Windbloom typically bred the finest and most distinguished men and women, so Shizuru's eye was no stranger to beauty, but Natsuki was so different. Her appeal was perhaps not in clean-cut looks, but the sparkle of her passionate emerald eyes and the almost feral expressions that crossed her creamy face- Shizuru idly wondered how it was so pale if she had spent much time outside as a child, but soon forgot her questions and observations. She was content to sit and stare.
-Aboard the Princess, Somewhere near Orner-
Mai quivered as the wrath of Chief Shaman Battle-Commander Tomoe, Fearless Champion of the Host, bombarded her from all directions. She was a priestess, yes; the very embodiment of the Fire God Kagu, but Tomoe's pure rage and pain flowed through her like the hammer of the mightiest God ever known. She was holding her own, holding Takumi's small and fragile hand as if it was her link to life itself.
The grasp of her senses was suddenly relinquished and Mai fell onto the desk, breathing hard as though she had been holding her breath for several minutes. Chie and Tate rushed to where she lay and anxiously checked her over, making sure se was okay.
"Mai?" Chie asked, rolling the priestess's form to face the sky. She did not need any more trouble, especially now, when Natsuki and Princess Shizuru were approaching fast. They needed to be the most normal vessel there, the vessel that the two would take towards their destination.
Which, they did not yet know, would be their doom.
"I'm okay," came the reply, slightly breathless. Mai picked herself up and dusted off her robes. Though they were hemmed just below her knees for the sake of mobility, they still bore the orange and red fiery patterns of her practice, interlaced with thread made from the hairs of a magma theyn, harpy-like creatures that lived in volcanoes and far below the earth's crust. She smiled at Tate and Chie and then at Takumi and Mikoto. Aoi was down below, having taken charge of clearing up the sleeping quarters to make herself useful.
"Then, where will we go now, Chie?" Tate returned to their mission. "They are not likely to come to Orner- there are probably posters attached to even the side of our ship with their names on."
Chie pondered that a minute. "Mai has been getting increased signals from them for a while. We could converge on their position."
"Too risky," Tate shook his shaggy blonde hair. "They'd suspect something."
"Not if we had cargo bound for, say, an Inn or village only a little way into the forest." Takumi pointed out.
Tate again shook his head. "All trade goods go via Orner, or if they are to go to the elves or goblins, the overground area of Cavern One."
They thought in silence for several minutes, each assessing many different possibilities. It was Mikoto who spoke up.
"Double bluff." She said, simply, smiling her childish smile.
Chie turned to her with interest. "Double Bluff?"
Mikoto looked at the eyes on her, and realized they wanted further explanation. "We should capture them. Like the poster says."
"That defeats the point of gaining their trust long enough to get them to wherever Tomoe wants them. We cannot keep the Halfling for long- she is intelligent and an excellent fighter."
"We needn't!" Mikoto shouted indignantly, angry that Tate had interrupted her very good idea. "Capture them. But," she turned to give Tate a glare. "But, we grow to like them. Trust them. They will appeal to us with their own sincerity when captured. So, we have a change of heart. Like I do on a bad day when I eat Mai's food." Mai smiled at the compliment. "We then tell them we'll go wherever they're headed. And give them to the scary woman."
They all stood, stunned at the cleverness of it.
Mai brought them back to harsh reality. "What think you, Tomoe?" she tentatively asked the pendant that was her link to her. Mai went stiff and slightly transparent.
"I like it. Proceed. But be quick, fools. Else you might find yourself in the middle of the battlefield, against both sides, when the time comes."
Mai gasped once again as colour returned to her face. She nearly crumpled, but kept herself strong, only stumbling. She hated this link with Tomoe, hated what they were doing. It didn't sit right in her stomach, all this deception. But she knew the selfishness of the world- she wanted the same as Chie, protection for Mikoto and Takumi. They were her world, even beyond her God. She could not bring herself to totally give up everything she had to ascend to the plane of existence in which Kagu resided, as she had watched many others do before her. She loved Takumi too much, and Mikoto was one of her closest friends. She looked to the sky and saw the Red Star, the far-away portal to the Plane of Divinity. On the other side of the moon, the Blue Star, the portal to the Plane of Suspension. Her studies had not delved very far into this Plane, better understood by Druids. It was where all things were held and weighed equally, with and against each other. It was akin to the Light's idea of purgatory, but only in parts. Really, it was a place that housed everyone, good or evil, dead or alive- where dead souls were said to have gone. Mai thought of Takumi, how his soul had been so near to the Blue Star when they had reached it. It brought the familiar ache to the forefront of her mind, unbidden, and she accepted it stoically. She had Takumi now, though he was weak and frail, and that was enough.
"Sister," came the soft voice beside her. Takumi stared up at her, his eyes filled with love. "Do not despair. When this all ends, as all things end, know that I will be with you."
He offered his hand and she took it, holding it against her heart.
"I love you, Takumi." She looked at him, her little brother, so old now! Tears nearly found their way to her eyes, but she bit them back. She had to be strong where Takumi was not.
"Cry, sister. For strength comes at the price of emotion. That can't happen to you." He hugged her tight. "I am strong in my own ways," he whispered filling Mai with such pride. "I will never leave you."
"And I, you,"
All was hushed aboard the Princess that night, not even Tate snored. Mai lay in her hammock, thinking on Takumi's words. She stared at a knot in the ceiling, and as she examined it, fell slowly into a fitful slumber, dreaming of nothing but her friends. Her dear friends.
A/N: There we are. It's a wee bit shorter than the past couple, but I felt it should end here. Just to clarify, Mai loves Takumi LIKE A BROTHER. And vice versa. So, Shizuru's beginning to figure out her feelings. Will she act on them? Will the crew of the princess go on with Tomoe's dastardly schemes, or sacrifice their desires? Will Eni be able to warn Shizuru and Natsuki in time?
Find out in the next installment of At the Point of Her Dagger.
~Emiri