a/n: there is a small smut warning to this chapter. Don't read if not appropriate.

Chapter 53

I am hopelessly
Shamelessly
Anointed with you

The room was pitch black except for the slivers of moonlight creeping in through the slits in the blinds. The only sound to be heard was the soft ripple of Robin's breath as she slept curled up in a sea of blankets. The navy flannel pyjama pants were slung low on his hips as he leaned in the doorway.

He loved to watch her sleep.

Her face was always serene, her lips were parted in an almost permanent invitation to be kissed and there was warmth to be found in her body.

He envied her sleep.

His mind was seemingly in a constant state of overdrive most nights and when he finally did manage to fall asleep, it never lasted for long. Pulling the door closed behind him, he padded quietly to the living room.

The Christmas tree blinked brightly in the far corner and he could not keep the smile from his face as he walked past it to open the curtains to the night sky. It had been his first tree is more than a decade. A time of celebration for almost everyone else, had proven to be little more than a painful reminder of loss for him.

When he was living in New York, he and Eric always volunteered to cover the Christmas shifts and let those with wives and husbands and kids go home to them. It was easier to work than deal with wounds that refused to heal – or wounds he refused to let heal.

But like so many other aspects of his life in the last year, it was different now. They had spent the evening at her uncle Mac's house for the traditional Scorpio Christmas Eve party and he had loved it. They had pulled Christmas crackers and he had proudly worn his purple paper crown on his head and traded the blue noisemaker for the red plastic race car that Maxie had found inside her cracker.

Mac had even pulled the slide projector and much to the chagrin of his daughters and niece, put some of their most embarrassing photos on display for all to see. The peals of laughter still echoed in his ears and he understood how much he had missed; how much it mattered to belong.

For a few hours that night all thoughts of brain tumours were driven from his mind and he had felt lighter than he had in months.
Pausing by the bookshelf, he picked up the leather frame that Robin had placed there. Cradling it in his hands he stared at the photos of his family – the only mementos had had carried with him. His anger and his disappointment took up so much room they were the only thing that would fit.

He traced his finger over his mother's image and sighed quietly. He missed her.

His tongue swept against the inside of his cheek and stopped just above his molar. He could feel the beginning of a sore forming in his mouth. His body was already responding to the effects from the radiation but his tumour was not.

Looking down again at the photo, he glanced at the photo of his parents dancing and the loving way his father gazed at his mother.

He missed his family.

Still carrying the photo, he walked to the couch and sank into the soft seat. He set the frame down on the table in front of him before leaning back to watch the snow drift down the ground below.

He wasn't getting better. Not fast enough, anyway. Surgery was going to be the only option and it terrified him. It wasn't just fear of dying on the table as his mother had; it was the fear of it going wrong, of him having any number of the possible complications – loss of mobility, loss of speech, loss of rational thought. That would be worse than dying.

Who would want him then?

He looked over at the wrapped box under the tree and exhaled slowly. The possibilities of permanent complications were what made his list so important. If it all went wrong, if he died or if he became unrecognizable, at least Robin would have memories – good memories.

"If you don't go to bed, Santa won't come"

Robin's sleepy voice pulled him from the depths of his thoughts and turning his head towards her, he smiled.

"Santa came early this year"

Crossing to the couch, she sat down beside him and curled her body towards his. She threaded her fingers through the fine wisps of hair that lay tantalizingly against the back of his neck.

"He did?"

Patrick nodded and brushed his lips over hers. "He brought me you."
He closed his eyes as he felt her breath float over his skin as she exhaled.

"You have quite a way with words Doctor Drake" she told him playfully.

"Why Doctor Scorpio, I think you'll find that some of my best work is non-verbal."

Robin grinned and nipped at his lips. The frame, perched on the coffee table caught her eye and raising her hand, she stroked his cheek with her fingertips.

"Missing your mom?" she asked gently.

"A little I guess," he admitted, though it was hard to do so.

He had compartmentalized his life so precisely and tried not to let the compartments intersect. It had worked for years but in the last few months the boundaries between compartments had blurred and it was all feeling very messy.

Rising to her feet, she pulled his New York Rangers shirt down so that it skimmed her knees. "I'm going to make some hot chocolate – want some?"

He looked out the window at the snow falling and felt the peace that this night could provide if you let it and he turned back to her. "Yeah – that would be great."

As she waited for the kettle to boil she leaned against the breakfast bar and stared at her boyfriend, staring at the photo. Christmas could be one of the most fulfilling times of the year or one of the loneliest. From her own experience she knew that you could be surrounded by every person who loves you yet if the person you wished for most was missing, there was simply no filling that void.

For years she believed her parents had died in an explosion and while she never lacked for love in her life – not even for a moment – Christmas always drove home the point that they were gone.

She knew if she pushed him, she could get him to talk about his mother and about Christmas in the Drake household. But she didn't want to push him. She wanted him to offer those memories freely because he was comfortable enough to share them, if not now then later. They were building something magical between them and she believed there was time to get to it all.

As the kettle whistled through the kitchen, she retrieved two mugs from the cupboard and spooned cocoa mix into them before filling them with the steaming water. Opening another cupboard, she plopped two marshmallows into each mug for good measure before heading back to the living room.

She passed him a mug before settling in next to him. Patrick reached for the soft afghan and draped it over both of them.
"I had fun tonight" he told her as he pressed his lips against her temple.

"Really?"

He nodded. "I especially liked the humiliating photos" he added with a grin.

She groaned. "How did I know that would be your favourite part?"

"Any chance to see you dressed as a hula girl is okay by me"

Giggling, she tucked in closer to him linking her fingers through his. "I may still have that costume and if you play your cards right, I could be persuaded to model it for you."

His eyes widened in excitement. "Yeah? I'm a very" he dipped his head and kissed her lips, "very good card player."

She waggled her eyebrows and grinned. "So did you and Eric have any Christmas traditions when you were roommates?"

Patrick took a drink of his hot chocolate, wincing slightly as the hot liquid came into contact with his mouth. He gave a small shrug as he set his mug down. "We'd usually work. We'd tape the Christmas day basketball games and when our shift was over, we'd grab some beers, some ribs and watch them until we fell asleep."

"How very manly of you" she teased.

He jokingly kissed each of his biceps. "That's right – I am all man."

Bringing her legs to her chest, Robin rested the mug on her knees. "So had Eric really not had a girlfriend in six years?"

He arched his eyebrow curiously. "Why? Thinking of tossing me over for a taller model?"

"Never" she replied with a smile. "You're perfect. I'm just curious how a nice guy like him goes so long without a girlfriend."

"How did a nice girl like you go so long without a boyfriend?" he asked, a hint of defensiveness creeping into his tone.

Robin was both amused and impressed by his readiness to protect his friend from any slight, real or perceived. That was the thing about Patrick that she had come to learn and love – there were no half measures with him, once he was on your side it was all the way.

"My situation is complicated" she reminded him gently.

"So is his" Patrick replied. "Robin, he nearly died. Some of our residents used to refer to him as walking dead. And though he survived, it wasn't without a price."

"He told me he can't have kids"

"It's more than that. The surgery removed both his testicles and he no longer produces testosterone; he wears a testosterone patch. There are more than a few girls who turned him down when they found out about him."

Robin inhaled sharply, understanding exactly how that kind of rejection could cut a person to the quick and force them to shut themselves off.

"I think Alexis likes him" she offered.

"Are you matchmaking?"

"Do you think he'd be open to it?"

"I think he might be – it's possible I noticed him checking her out." Pausing, Patrick reached out and tangled his fingers through her long hair.

"What?" She was suddenly shy under his gaze.

"I like that you're looking out for my friend."

"I like that you're sharing your friend and your life with me," she told him quietly.

Cupping his face, she attaches her mouth to his and kisses him deeply, slowly and passionately. She swallowed down his groan before gradually letting go of his lips.

"You know" she began, her lips still lingering closely to his, "technically it's Christmas morning."

"Your point?" he asked teasingly.

"It means that we can open presents!" she answered giddily.

"Presents? What presents? I didn't get you a present."

She slapped him playfully. "Yes you did – I can see it right there!" She pointed to the box wrapped in red paper topped with a gold bow. "It has my name on it and everything."

"Meh. That's for another Robin I know."

She narrowed her eyes. "I am the only Robin you know. Or at least I better be."

Kissing the tip of her nose, Patrick gently kicked off the afghan and pulled the box from underneath the tree. With just the smallest hesitation, he placed it on her lap.

Folding her legs underneath her, she pulled at the ribbon excitedly and let it sail to the floor. Carefully, she slid her finger underneath the heavy gold paper and having removed it, folded it and set it on the table. She stuck her tongue out as she noticed Patrick staring at her with amusement.

Peeling the card off the top of the box, she opened and read it aloud.

What more could the original Adventure Girl need?
Merry Christmas, all my love – Patrick

She shot him a curious look but seeing no hint forthcoming in her eyes, she pried the lid of the box off and dove into the tissue paper. Wrapping her hand around the folder, she pulled it from the box. Her eyes widened as she flipped open the folder and saw two plane tickets to Edinburgh leaving on the 29th and returning on January 3rd.

"Scotland?" she asked him in surprise.

He pulled nervously at his bottom lip wondering if he had got it all wrong. "Um, well….I thought we could go for New Year's. They have a big festival-"

"Hogamany" she interjected, her brown eyes dancing happily.

"You've heard of it?" he asked hopefully.

She nodded. "And I've always wanted to go!! Are we seriously going?"

"We are seriously going" he confirmed, "I thought-"

His sentence was prematurely ended as she tossed herself into his lap and fastened her mouth to his. Her tongue darted from her mouth and coaxing his lips apart, swept inside his. He sucked greedily on her tongue, pulling her tightly against him. His hands curled through her hair as hers swept across his chest. They kissed until there was no oxygen left and they broke apart, breathless and panting.

"So that's a yes?" Patrick asked as he traced his finger across her swollen lips.

"It's a hell yes! Does this mean I get to see you in a kilt?"

He fixed her with a look. "I wouldn't count on that."

"Awww! But baby – it would make me happy. And you want to make me happy, right?"

He rolled his eyes. "Don't I get a gift?" he asked, ignoring her.
Robin tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Hmm. Maybe I should make your gift kilt-dependant."

He reached for the tickets. "Maybe I should cancel the tickets?" he teased.

"NO!" Trying to grab them from his hand, she lost her balance and fell across his lap. The oversized t-shirt had slipped upwards, exposing her breasts to him.

He licked his lips as he looked at her stretched out beneath him. "Is this my gift?" he asked huskily.

She hastily pulled her shirt down and scrambled to her feet. "Not yet. First you get the wrapped gift and then you get me."

Cocking his eyebrow upwards, he gave her a sloppy grin. "You're kind of wrapped too. I wouldn't mind unwrapping you."

She wiggled her behind as she bent over to pick his present up from underneath the tree and smiled to herself as she heard his sharp intake of breath. He had liberated her in so many ways and while she was still a work in progress, his unabashed appreciation of her helped her to embrace her sexual side more fully.

Sliding back beside him on the couch, she handed him the long rectangular box wrapped in green paper with a cascade of red and white ribbony curls falling from the edge.

Giving her a sideways glance, he slipped the paper off and creaked open the black box. There, nestled against the white silk, rested a beautiful watch with a thick black leather band and a round, silver watch face.

It was Robin's turn to feel the nerves over picking the right gift. She had spent more than a month trying to find something meaningfully but not over the top – it had been no small task. With Brenda's guidance she had finally settled on a watch and hoped that he would not be disappointed by its pedestrian nature.

"It's engraved on the back" she said quickly.

He fingered the buttery soft band and knew immediately that it would feel like a dream against his wrist. Turning the watch over, he read the inscription and was caught by surprise at the feelings it stirred up in him. He blinked rapidly and inhaled sharply as he traced the words.

Time heals what reason cannot
Love Robin

"Do you….do you like it?" she asked tentatively.

"Like it?" he echoed hoarsely. "I love it." Turning to face her, he cupped her cheek with his hand. "I love you."

Grabbing hold of the hem of her shirt, he pulled her to his lap and stared lovingly in to her eyes. He was overcome by how complete he felt in her love, how whole she allowed him to be.

Straddling his hips, Robin slid so closely to him that there was simply no space left between them. Her hands trailed down his bare chest and sent his heart racing. His breath shortened and his chest heaved in desirous anticipation as left a trail of whispered kisses along his shoulder, moving to his neck.

His hands burrowed underneath her shirt, warming against her hot skin. He dragged his fingertips across her pert nipples and closed his eyes as she pushed her breasts further into his hands. Turning his head, his lips went in search of hers but she stubbornly avoided him, closing her mouth around his soft, fleshy earlobe and sucking gently. He shivered from the contact.

Dropping his hands, he curled his fingers around the hem of the shirt and in one motion pulled it from her body and tossed it to the floor. She sat before him, breathtakingly beautiful and naked.

He slid his hand between them, cupping her sex and biting his lip as he felt her dampness. No other woman responded in the way she did. Robin was like a finely tuned instrument and he was learning all the notes to play.

His head dropped back against the couch as her tongue snaked out and made small, scintillating circles on his chest. As his arousal grew, he shifted underneath to find a more comfortable position.

Curling two fingers inside her, he strummed her sex as she left tiny bit marks along his collar bone. Unable to take it any longer, he cupped her chin and raised her lips to his before seizing her mouth in a wet, wanton kiss. Their tongues tangled together as they fell lengthwise on the couch.

On top, Patrick trailed his lips and tongue down her hot skin, stopping to suck on each nipple. Feeling as though she was short-circuiting but unable to stop it, she arched up from the couch, pressing his head deeper against her. He continued on his downward journey, teasing and nipping at her skin as he went, burying his face between her legs and breathing in her musky scent.

She is intoxicating for him, making him drunk in his desire for her. Pulling himself upright, he pulled off his sweatpants, stepping out of them where they lay. Robin stared at his heavy groin and unable to resist, reached out and stroked her fingertips along the length.

"Fuck" he bit out, his hands on his hips.

Reluctantly letting go of him, Robin reached behind her to the small covered container where they had taken to keeping a small stash of condoms. Retrieving the protection, she ripped open the square package and reaching for him again, sheathed him quickly, allowing her fingers to dance tantalizingly along the base of his cock.

Patrick groaned and could not wait a minute longer to be inside her. He took hold of her legs and pulled him towards her as he plunged in to her. He swallowed down her gasp as he closed his mouth over hers. Their tangled bodies moved as one in urgent need.

Everything they couldn't say, that they couldn't find the words for poured from their skin as they collapsed together.

Finally recovering his breath, Patrick rolled from Robin and reaching for the afghan pulled it around them to ward off the chill of their sweat covered bodies.

She reached up and brushed his damp hair from face, nibbling on his bottom lip. "Merry Christmas baby" she whispered.

Circling his arms around her, he pulled flush against him and nuzzled her neck.

"I love you."