Author's Note: Oh, gosh, I almost didn't finish this one today. Literally, just stopped proof reading two minutes ago. Anyway, all mistakes are mine, Mattick and Zemke belong to me. Also, this is the longest chapter so far. Special kudos to anyone who can figure out which episode this chapter is based off of. Lots of worried!Kirk, hurt!Spock and grouchy!McCoy in this one.

Chapter Six: F

Flintlock

"Stardate 2257.21: The Enterprise has arrived at the Zeta Boötis system where we will explore the planet Neural. There, I hope to meet the man that made an unofficial, one-sided first contact with one of the starships that has been here prior to the Enterprise. This man, Tyree, is the leader of one of the native tribes and I believe that we may be able to learn a lot from him without violating the Prime Directive. It shouldn't be relatively difficult; this is just a routine away mission." Everyone knows that the beginning of some of the most disastrous away missions is the cursed Captain's Log. Whenever Kirk said it was just a 'routine mission', the shit hits the fan. This time was no exception.

"Found anything, Spock?"

"Possibly, Captain; the flora on this planet is very interesting." Spock was bent over a large, fan-like leaf that protruded from the ground, similar to the ferns on Earth. Surrounding the entire away team was a tall forest, filled with all sorts of roots, herbs, and plants that were rumored to have great medicinal properties.

Everyone was slightly spread out; McCoy was examining a tree, Spock was taking scans of the aforementioned leaf, Ensign Rory Mattick was helping Dr. McCoy with the tree, and Ensign Naida Zemke (Yes, that Zemke) was checking and double checking the charge on her phaser.

Suddenly, a loud bang sounded and Ensign Zemke dropped to the ground, blood pouring from the bullet wound on her leg. Spock and Jim rushed out to help her while McCoy and Ensign Mattick dove for cover. Another gunshot rang out and the ground between Spock's feet exploded in a cloud of dust, right in front of Zemke. After moving the Ensign out of the way, Spock and Kirk crouched behind a rock, discussing plans.

"We can't use our phasers, we don't know why their firing at us and they sure as hell shouldn't have flintlock rifles," Jim yelled over the shots, trying to stop the bleeding from Zemke's leg. After a few minutes, the gunfire stopped as suddenly as it had begun.

"Spock, what's going on?" Kirk moved his blood-soaked hands as McCoy and Mattick ran over to their hiding spot, preparing to try and treat the injured Ensign in the field.

"A group of unarmed natives appear to be walking towards the origin of the gunfire. I believe it is the man known as Tyree," Spock said, pointing towards the advancing group of people. Knowing that they couldn't use their phasers and only had a small window of opportunity, Jim grabbed a large rock and threw it at the group. When the rock landed, the gunfire began again and the natives scattered in different directions. Spock pulled out his communicator and stood up.

"Mr. Scott, five to. . ." Before anyone could react, Spock went down, a green splotch slowly spreading on his back.

"Spock!" Jim yelled, dropping to the ground to see if there was anything he could do. It was a direct hit to his chest, right where his heart should be.

"Beam us up!" Jim yelled into his communicator.

"Is he alright?" Jim grabbed McCoy's arm and spun him around.

"He just woke up, I'm going to check on him," the doctor replied, heading towards the biobed with Spock in it.

After McCoy scanned Spock and ignored the beeping biobed readout on the wall, he began to go off on a tangent. "Well your blood pressure is off the scale, if you call that green stuff in your veins blood, and if your heart wasn't where your liver should be, you'd be dead about now."

"The readings are perfectly normal for me, Doctor, and as for my anatomy being different from yours... I am delighted." McCoy scoffed and looked up at an amused Kirk who was trying to hold back his laughter.

"Oh God, even though I wish for normal away missions, the resulting arguments you two get into are almost worth it." Spock and McCoy looked at each other, beginning to think their captain was crazy.

"You know," Jim continued. "Sometimes I wish I could land on a planet and say "Behold! It is I, the Archangel Gabriel!"

"I fail to see the humor in that," Spock said.

"Of course you do, Spock." McCoy started laughing. "You could never pass for an angel with those ears of yours. But say you landed somewhere with a pitchfork?

"That is illogical, Doctor, as I do not resemble the ancient, primative, human description of the devil." Spock began.

"I'll have you know that medical men are trained in logic!" McCoy countered.

"Trained? Judging from you, I would have guessed it was trial and error." Jim sat down, hoping he didn't let his amusement show too much.

"Mr. Spock, you're the most cold blooded man I know."

"Thank you, Doctor."

"I'm insulting you, Spock. How can you be deaf with ears like that?"

"I am not deaf."

"You drive me to drink."

"I already know this."

"Am I not allowed to state the obvious to an inferior officer who does not understand humans?" McCoy said, frazzled.

"Now you're starting to sound like Spock," Jim said, pointing at his friend.

"If you're going to get nasty, I'm gonna leave," Bones said, heading for the door. Jim finally lost it, letting his laughter ring through sickbay.

If anyone is wondering, yes, those were all quotes from various episodes. I always loved the way they ended episodes with Spock and McCoy going at it on the bridge but they stopped doing that in the third season. Oh well, there are still plenty more insults I can throw Spock's way, so don't worry. By the way, the reason I added my two OCs is because I wanted this to be a sort of bridge into another plot tribble I am working on. Right now it's nothing more than an outline and shouldn't distract me too much from this.