Author's Note: Bonjour, chers lecteurs, comment ça va? For those of you who don't speak French, it translates to 'Hello, dear readers; how are you?'. Ignoring the French lesson, I would like to extend a huge thank you to my beta, CurbItKirby, and anyone who has reviewed. Some of those are pretty funny. They are so funny, in fact, that I would like to invite anyone who would like to make suggestions for one word prompts beginning with 'L' or beyond is welcome to PM me. Obviously, I can only choose one, but you'll get credit where credit is due.

Chapter Nine: I

Intoxicated

Leonard honestly should have expected it; there wasn't a thing in the universe that could keep Jim from seeking out the worst dives in the galaxy. When Kirk decided that the bridge crew should have shore leave together, McCoy expected a quiet night in his quarters and a nice novel. Instead, he and the rest of the senior staff were dragged to the most disgusting bar Jim could find. Of course, no one had anything better to do so getting drunk seemed . . . logical; and damn it if there wasn't a better phrase.

"So, ya see, that was when she said, 'My name's not Lola.'"

Sulu, Uhura, Chekov, Scotty, and Christine all laughed at Jim's slurred story.

"One of these days he's going to drink himself into oblivion and I'm not going to help the bastard," McCoy grumbled.

"Doctor," Spock replied. "It is physically impossible for someone to 'drink themselves into oblivion' as you would say."

McCoy rolled his eyes and watched as Scotty knocked back his fifth shot of scotch. Chekov made some comment about how scotch was for pussies and downed his sixth shot of vodka. Leonard vowed to keep a close eye on those two, knowing that if they got into a drinking contest they wouldn't stop until they got alcohol poisoning.

"Bones, c'mon, have a. . . drink," Jim pushed, swaying in his seat and throwing his arm around his best friend's shoulders.

"Nah, I don't think so. Somebody's got to be your babysitter." Christine giggled and chose that moment to walk back over with their next round of drinks and plop herself in McCoy's lap. Leonard gaped and yelled in an annoyed and incredulous voice, "What the hell are you doing woman? You're normally the most uptight."

"I'm not uptight," she whispered drunkenly in his ear. "Just tight."

Leonard resisted the urge to shove her off his legs and just sighed, accepting his fate of being stuck under his head nurse for the foreseeable future. "Why do they have to let loose on shore leave? Why can't they act like responsible adults? He's a starship captain for Christ sake."

Spock raised an Eyebrow at McCoy's statement and looked over at their Captain. "After associating socially with the Captain for the amount of time you have, I would expect that you would be used to his more distasteful tendencies."

McCoy shrugged, and began wondering how hard it would be to reach the hypo in his pocket while Chapel was sitting on him. Accepting defeat, Leonard ignored the new sexcapade story Jim was telling and stole Chapel's drink from her hand.

"Hey," she whined, swiping at McCoy's hand like a child whose mother is trying to fix their hair.

"I believe you said you would not imbibe," Spock said questioningly, giving another raised eyebrow to the drink in the doctor's hand.

"If you want to take care of them when we get back to the ship, go ahead."

The First Officer nodded slowly, realizing that the handful of officers currently intoxicated would be very difficult to handle when they were back on board.

"I think it's time we beam outta here; what do you think, Spock?"

"Chapel, dammit, let go of me."

"I never realized how strong you were, Leonard."

"Please, let's just get to sickbay before you do something you'll regret."

"Do you want me to do something I'll regret? 'Cause I'll do anything you want."

Just a little story I wrote in a half an hour. Hope you liked it. Remember, I'm open to suggestions.