I still claim no possession of or to the 28 days/weeks later series, with that said I own Cassandra. Now on to the reading part.

What have I done? Even as a thought, it is a rhetorical question. I know what I did. I got my way. I succeeded in getting what I wanted, and now I have to suffer through my victory.

I have five days.

Five days to find someone who is willing to partner with me, and I am willing to accept. Five days to find and transfer my living arrangements, until then I must continue to share an apartment with Howard. Five days to find someone who can put up with me.

I'm doomed, I know it. There just going to end up sending me back to the camp, and it's my own fault. But I'm not going back on this decision, I can't.

I made it myself, because I know myself. I couldn't stay with that man, Howard baker, because I might hurt him. If I did they would only end up sending me back anyways.

I wouldn't mean to, but it would happen. He would do something wrong, I would react before I could think about it, and I would hurt him. It could be something simple, like touching me when I wasn't expecting it, or waking me up from a nightmare because he was worried. I wouldn't have time to stop myself, I would just react.

I was alone to long, and its changed me into something else. I probably shouldn't even be here, among these normal and civilized people. I'm like a feral cat. I was domesticated once, but then I was in the wild, and for too long. Now tame is only a memory, a thing I used to be.

As much as I would never want to return to that, running from 'them' was easier. I didn't need to think about it, I 'knew' mentally and instinctively what I needed to do. It was just simple. My body knew what to do. My hands gripped, my arms swung, and my legs ran. I could just 'do', I didn't have to think.

There was no thought, I didn't need to think, I only needed to react.

Now I have to think all the time. I have to think, so I don't react. I'm stuck in a pattern of every touch is a danger, a threat, and I have to keep reminding myself, that their eyes aren't red, their words aren't growls and screams, and their hands aren't dangerous. Its exhausting.

This is what I wanted, but they never should have sent me here. I'm not ready to be this again, normal and human.

I'm not going to find someone who can handle this, even if I find someone to like me. They'll do something wrong, one of these people. Most of them, if not all, didn't go through what I did. Some of them even weren't in the country. They were flown back in from Europe, where they were vacationing or visiting people they knew.

Out of every one here, the survivors of the outbreak, those of us who were here and lived through it, were the smallest percentage. The Americans have been looking for us, and are still looking for more, but its a small number, and a scattered group at best, because 'they' were that effective in annihilating us.

Most of the survivors they do find, they find like they found me. There wild, scared, and not able to recognize that the person before them is a person.

I tried to attack. I didn't see a soldier. The uniform meant nothing to me. I'd killed them, people that weren't people anymore and were wearing uniforms. So seeing them in military dress didn't mean a thing.

Seeing them in a group didn't mean anything either. The infected traveled together, like some sort of pack. They followed each other around, taking advantage of the chaos that another one might create. One infected stirring up the nest and scattering prey for the rest.

Even the fact that I didn't see them covered in blood didn't mean much. It was raining; I just assumed the blood washed off.

I only knew they were following me. I was being hunted. When I couldn't run anymore, I stopped, and my flight turned to fight. If I couldn't escape them I would kill them. It was that simple to do. All things are threats and all threats must die.

I had a heavy broken table leg that I had been using is a club, and when the first soldier came around the corner into the room I had went into with the intention of hiding, and trapped myself in, I swung.

I had every intention of beating this man skull in, because I didn't see a man, only a thing in the shape of a man. I might have succeeded to, if the wood hadn't suddenly exploded into splinters from a bullet, and the force wrenched my arm back, making me stumble off balance.

They had restrained me; it took a long time to calm me down, enough so that my mind actually recognized that they were using words. The infected didn't speak.

I never apologized to that soldier, or any of them. I meant my actions, I meant to kill him. That he wasn't an infected like I thought didn't matter. In that moment I meant my actions, and I wouldn't apologies for doing exactly what I meant to do.

I wanted to live, why should I apologies for that.

I'm better enough now to recognize that these people aren't infected. But I'm not 'better', I still have this tension in me. It's like my finger is on the trigger, if someone bumps me wrong it's going to make me squeeze.

I knew all this right when she told me what options I had, and for the last several hours I've know it, over and over in my head.

I left that office, and I found my way here. The park, that no longer stands up to its name, Jubilee Park. It sits over a subway tunnel, and I sit over that, resting on my back on the side of what once held a small series of fountains.

The stone brick walls that held the water are now filled only with the remaining stains of dried sludge. The water must have evaporated a long time ago, and even the pumps of the fountain are in disrepair, no doubt made useless by rust. I don't care though.

I came here just to get away from the people. Not many have an interest in a dead park after all.

It was nice, for a while, being away from the crowds. But I think it is time for me to head back into them. The hour the curfew sets in is getting closer and forcing my hand.

I don't want to go back to that room and see what I know will be sets of hopeful eyes, so if I am going to do that I need to come up with something else.

They did mention a pub.

Hope you liked it, and I didn't take to long getting it up. things have been a little busy lately so please bear with me. I have things going on in my life, plus THREE stories i am working on (and that doesn't even include my idea's for more). well, if you feel so inclined leave a review to express your appreciation and until next chapter, over and out.