A/N: Thanks to all of you, and thanks to last chapter's reviewers: the Guests, JLCH, jkarr, IHeartHouseCuddy, OldSFfan, ikissedtheLaurie, jaybe61, Chloe, housebound, CaptainK8, freeasabird14, linda12344, Abby, Alex, HuddyGirl, Jane Q. Doe, Suzieqlondon, grouchysnarky, Boo's House, bladesmum, dmarchl21, Ann, JM, LoveMyHouse, Mon Fogel, devonfc and Tori.
I appreciate your patience while I finished this up.
-Acts of Terrorism-
House and Cuddy had many arguments in the course of planning their wedding. Most arguments were somewhat easily resolved, often through negotiation and bargaining. In the end, they agreed that he would pick the location for the wedding ceremony and she would select the site for the reception.
When he told her he wanted to get married in the lecture hall where they'd had their only class together, she was less than thrilled. They argued back and forth until she stated, "I just don't see why you would want to get married there."
"What is the traditional spot for a devout atheist and a not-so-devout Jew? We'd be giving a quick nod to history, keeping in mind that we don't want to be doomed to repeat the vast majority of it."
"We're together now."
"And if I had to relive eighty percent of what the last twenty-odd years have been, I don't know if I'd make it. I don't want to repeat all of that shit. The last couple of years, sure, the first few decades, no thanks. No matter what, that's where something began, it's like taking something that has been very dissonant and helping it find consonance, like music. Dissonance creates interest and makes something dynamic, but if all you have is dissonance, the song's not so beautiful. We can close that particular phrase so we can play the next phrases."
Cuddy stared at her hands before she finally agreed, "Yea, OK. But I want a reception at the country club, something formal and beautiful. And I want the first dance. I refuse to ignore that tradition."
Apart from location, House had few demands. He wanted to pick a band, but mostly she made the plans for the wedding. After she had chosen her dress, she came home and asked him, "What are you wearing? Do you want me to go with you to pick out a suit or a tux?"
"Definitely not," he answered while he was putting the finishing touches on dinner.
"What do you mean 'definitely not'? You mean you don't want my help, or you aren't wearing a suit?"
"I didn't put a lot of thought into it."
"We better put some thought into it now, or it'll be too late. You'll probably need it tailored, and—"
"Do I get to choose your dress?"
"I already found my dress. They're making the alterations and I go back in three weeks to try it on. You didn't say you wanted to help pick out my dress."
"I didn't say that?"
"No."
"Well that's really weird. You'd think I would have mentioned that…except I don't want to help pick out your dress. I don't need to be involved for several reasons. Let me name a few. You always look great. I trust you to dress yourself so I don't see the need to start approving of your clothing now. Finally, I don't really care what you wear. You could make a plastic bag look good. It doesn't matter."
The argument continued on until Cuddy finally said, out of complete frustration, "Fine, House, wear whatever you want."
They both reacted through expression alone at first, Cuddy realizing what she had said in the heat of an argument, something she immediately regretted. He had a look of complete victory on his face. He had pushed the right buttons.
She quickly ran through a series of possible countermoves, realizing that it was too late to retract the offer, the damage was done. Silencing all of the sounds in her head that urged her to contain a potentially messy situation, she said, "This is important."
"I agree."
He refused to tell her what he was going to wear. There were mentions of many different options, ranging from a pair of boxers with black socks to a spacesuit. Most were outlandish ideas that sounded like jokes, but she wasn't sure.
The day before the wedding, they met the JP who was going to officiate the ceremony. She was proper and at all times serious and composed. They went over their personal information, ensuring that all of the appropriate paperwork had been done, and then they discussed the ceremony.
The JP looked at them and said, "You two decided to write your own vows, correct?"
Cuddy was the first to shake her head before she realized she was rejecting the idea too quickly. "I hadn't prepared any," she answered more calmly, "House, did you prepare any vows? Were we…going to do that?"
Cuddy was very adept at social navigation, but she wasn't one for wearing her heart on her sleeve, or giving coworkers and friends too much of an intimate look at her life.
"I would love to write my own vows," he answered with surprising decisiveness.
"OK…"
"I'll write them down, and put them in a safe deposit box and can you open them as soon as I'm dead. Rest assured that I meant them all along."
"We haven't…written any," Cuddy calmly answered the JP. "We'll go with whatever the standard vows are."
"As long as the whole honor-obey-worship thing is in there," he interjected.
"Absolutely…House can feel free to honor, obey and worship me. I'll be happy to commit to loving, honoring and cherishing him," she said, shooting him a scowl.
"There's the cherishing look."
"Let's go over the standard vows," the JP interrupted, not at all entertained by their banter. She started to read off, "I, Gregory take you Lisa-"
Cuddy and House both breathed loud interruptions and the JP asked, with cold frustration, "What now?"
"Would it be a problem if we used different names?" Cuddy asked.
"Of course you can," the JP sneered. "Are there any particular names you'd like, or should I just make some up when we get there?"
House could hear Cuddy's patience crack. Usually that sound was reserved for him. It was always accompanied by a chilly stare. She folded her hands calmly in her lap and asked the JP, "So it's no problem if we want to write our own vows, but it's a problem if I don't want to call him Gregory? You keep asking about our preferences. We want the basic vows…and I want to call him what I always call him. Is that so much to ask?"
"I can use your full names earlier in the ceremony, and then you can use whatever names you prefer during the actual exchange of vows. Is that acceptable?"
"Perfect," Cuddy answered.
The JP was more amenable to their requests after that, but no friendlier on a personal level. After the JP, there were other preparations, as every moment of Cuddy's day seemed to be packed with something that needed to be done. House took Wilson and Rachel out so Cuddy could do the things she needed to do. For both of them, it seemed that after the blink of an eye, they were waiting in their places only moments before the ceremony.
Cuddy was physically ready, standing near the back with her sister, friend and daughter. It was this strange time when nothing had to be done. Everyone had been paid, clothes were ready, arrangements settled. It would have been easier if there had been something to do.
Julia leaned on her sister's shoulder and said, "You OK? You look…nervous."
"I am a little, I guess."
"Second thoughts?"
"It's not that. I just can't believe we're here. There are at least fifty people on the other side of that door who are hoping this is all going to go horribly wrong so they can see it."
Julia smiled, "I guess as long as you and Greg aren't one of those fifty…it'll be OK. You look great. I thought this was a terrible place to get married, but it's beautiful in there. The flowers are really pretty."
"Thanks."
"Now we just have to wait and see what your soon-to-be-husband is wearing."
Cuddy sighed, "I haven't forgotten."
"You really told him to pick whatever he wanted?"
"I did."
"Why would you do that? Next you'll be telling Rachel to eat as much dessert as she wants."
"We compromised on everything else. If I want this to last, sometimes I need to let him be completely…him."
"That's touching, enlightened and a really stupid way to demonstrate your acceptance."
"I know. Also I said it in the middle of an argument before I realized what I was saying."
"It's killing you."
"Yup," Cuddy said with clear apprehension.
Someone came back to let her know that they were almost ready, so she peeked through the doors and quickly backed away. She seemed so stunned that Julia was really nervous. "I brought an extra suit and tie. It'll be a little short on him, but I'll go get him to change," Julia said, hoping to prevent a nervous breakdown. "Is this tee-shirt level terrible or bizarre costume level terrible?"
Cuddy shook her head, saying with an enamored smile, "He's such an ass."
"Oh god," Julia replied, heading to the door to see for herself.
"He's gorgeous."
When Julia finally got a glimpse of House, she saw the last thing she expected. House was in a suit. His hair was a mess and he was unshaven, but he already knew Cuddy preferred it that way. He'd made so many comments and jokes about what he would wear, but when she finally saw him, waiting at the front of the space for her, she'd remembered the one comment she'd most disregarded. A few days before the wedding, he'd flippantly said, "Or, who knows, maybe I'll show up in a suit and tie…and then you'll know you're really stuck with me."
The music started and she stepped into the room. He actually tilted his head a little as he watched her come closer, admiring her like he would have if there weren't so many people watching. They disappeared into a haze where fuzzy memories met the present. He leaned on his cane, the fingers of his free hand fiddling with one of the buttons on his jacket, and she had a sense of anticipation in her chest that felt like it might actually burst out of her body.
Rachel was chosen to walk Cuddy down the aisle. It was an adorable idea, but no matter how hard Cuddy tried to slow the girl down, Rachel had no interest in walking with the music. It almost looked like the child was pulling her mother to the front. When they were a few steps away from House, Rachel stopped her mother. Leaving Cuddy alone just shy of the front, Rachel went to talk to House.
The music was so loud that he could hardly hear her. Not wanting to get down to listen, he lifted her and sat her on the podium. Everyone wished they could have heard what was said. There was a moment where Rachel seemed to be making demands, and House countered. They seemed to reach an agreement, and then Rachel stuck an admonishing finger out while she spoke. Rachel noticed her grandmother coming up to get her. Knowing that she was running out of time to do whatever she needed to do, she said a few final things before she nodded her approval over the negotiations.
He helped her down, and she started to run down to the spot where she was supposed to sit until she remembered that she forgot to deliver her mother to the front. She practically tripped trying to get back to Cuddy. Taking her mother's hand, Rachel walked back to House before Arlene gathered the girl and brought her to their seats.
The entire assembly looked on eagerly and waited for something interesting to happen. Many people thought House would do something outrageous, some thought either House or Cuddy would not show, and several thought they'd actually get in a fight during the ceremony.
The chaos of preparations and the expected drama of the day faded into disregarded things around them. She looked beautiful, but he had expected that. In a way, it was typical. What was unexpected, the thing he was truly unprepared for, was the certain and affectionate look in her eyes.
The vows, the clothes, the venue, all of those things that had seemed so glaringly important for so long were suddenly part of this beautiful context in which everything existed, but they really were just context. Once the two of them stood at the front, facing each other in a world that seemed surprisingly devoid of anything but themselves, the context was stripped away and they were able to see what remained. Free of outside expectations, liberated from the noise of the thousands of things that didn't really matter, there remained a couple who simply wanted to be together. After all of the complications of the past, the moment was remarkable uncomplicated.
They started reciting the vows as they were prompted. The words they said were meant, but they lacked the power of the looks exchanged between them. They made promises deeper and more impenetrable than the words they'd spoken.
There was one moment, nearing the end of the standard vows, when the JP said, and House repeated, "I'll try to remain the man you can count on. I'll try to count on you too."
To everyone around them, the words at the end were relatively meaningless, no more interesting than any of the other vows he'd spoken. To Cuddy, they were filled with tremendous significance. Cuddy was acutely aware of what had been promised, and the sincerity with which he meant it. He'd made these promises, he'd planned them, planted these vows without her knowledge.
Only a few days earlier, she'd asked him to trust her enough to count on her. He didn't promise something unattainable. He didn't promise to be the perfect husband, to always do what she wanted or to always say the right thing. He just said he'd try. For them it was a pragmatic, honest sign of devotion and commitment.
She started to repeat her own vows as they were given to her by the JP. She followed the standard parts, but where House's personalized vows had been added, the JP skipped to the end. Cuddy didn't immediately repeat the words. There was a flutter in the audience when it seemed she wasn't going to go through with it. His additional promises to her were meaningful in themselves, but they became even more meaningful when she realized that he was willing to promise her more than he expected in return.
Cuddy calmly shook her head, her eyes finding his to reassure him. She thought for a moment and said, as best as she could remember, "I will try to remain the woman you can count on. And I will try to count on you too." She nodded, trying to make sure he knew she was offering just as much of herself as he was offering without any reservation. Then she remembered that she hadn't finished the mandatory part that the JP had prompted her with, so she added, "For as long as we both shall live."
The rest of the ceremony went on uneventfully. They each carefully put the rings in place as a visual sign of the promises they'd made. They were prompted to kiss. The ceremony already went further than many people thought it would go. Cuddy put her hand against his chest, her fingertips over his heart. That was a moment he'd remember. Like the vows she hadn't been prepared for, it was a personal gesture that wasn't part of the formulaic ceremony, it was them.
As their kiss ended, they realized that there was a polite applause throughout the room. They seemed to remember at that moment that they weren't alone. House smiled the awkward wide smile he seldom showed, but at that moment he was happy and overwhelmed, so he couldn't prevent the reaction. "What do we do now?" he asked suddenly.
Cuddy was already grinning back as she shook her head, "I don't remember."
It was a rare instant in their lives when they had no direction, only a suspended moment before the music began to play and they realized it was time to leave. The actual wedding was over so quickly, reduced from a monumental, theoretical event to a few snapshot memories of something that was real.
In House's mind, the next step seemed obvious. He was under the impression that they would go immediately out of the lecture hall and to a waiting limousine. He wanted that time alone with her, a few minutes where they didn't have eyes on them. Something pretty incredible had happened. They weren't even out of the building yet when he noticed the photographer who was snapping pictures. In the photos that resulted, House looked more like he'd been caught doing something illegal than walking out of his own wedding.
After finally reaching the limo, Cuddy slid across the seat first and waited for House before Rachel practically leapt into the vehicle with them. They looked out the door for Cuddy's mother, who was supposed to take the child to the reception. "Mom?" Cuddy asked, "Rachel's staying with you, right?"
"I told her she could ride with you," Arlene answered. "Oh come on. You're going to be gone for almost a week, so I told her she could ride with you. You can't give your only daughter a ride over the reception?"
The girl was looking up with wide, hopeful, eager eyes for an answer.
They agreed to let the child go with them, knowing that she was already disappointed that they'd decided to go on a honeymoon without her. Arlene added at the last minute, "You've been living together for a long time. You haven't exactly been-"
"Thanks, Mom!" Cuddy waved before House closed the door.
As they rode to the reception, Rachel played with the controls in the limo. They weren't angry with the girl, but it would have been nice if Arlene could have given them a few minutes alone. As they rode, Cuddy smiled apologetically, "You look so handsome."
He answered, simply, "You're always hot."
"You couldn't have told me you were going to wear a suit?" she asked, sliding her hand over his.
"Nope."
"But you decided to anyway?"
"It was a win-win. You spent weeks worrying, imagining all of these wedding photo ruining scenarios. It was perhaps my finest act of Cuddy-terrorizing ever, like a wedding present. But, tonight, on our actual wedding night, you won't be pissed at me because you liked the end result. I'm already counting on that paying off. So even though I let you have your way, it was ultimately my way…and again…record setting levels of terrorizing."
"So while I was considering lingerie, you were thinking of ways to stress me out?"
"I was keeping it interesting. You love that about me. You can't really expect me to make it easy."
Rachel stopped playing and wiggled onto the seat between them. "Is this our car?"
"We're just borrowing it," Cuddy answered.
House stated, "In case you were wondering, when we rented this, I had a very different ride to the reception in mind."
"We have the trip to the hotel after the reception."
"I'll be too tired by then."
"You will not," Cuddy scoffed.
They were sharing looks, feeling the longing build between them, when they heard the little girl say in a teary voice, "I'm gonna miss you guys."
Cuddy pulled the child onto her lap, "We're only gone for five days, then we'll be back."
"That's so long."
"It's not," House answered, "it's not that long. And I told you what we'll do the day we get back."
"Promise?" Rachel sniffled.
"I told you we will," he answered.
"Is that what you two were talking about before the ceremony?" Cuddy asked.
"She was trying to raise the dowry at the last minute…wanted a few chickens and a lifetime supply of finger paints. I told her it was too late to change the agreement now."
"I didn't want chickens," Rachel answered.
"So what was it about?" Cuddy asked.
"She's like you, she was trying to make rules," he accused.
"You said you wouldn't tell," Rachel argued.
"I won't discuss the specific terms. She took advantage of a prime negotiating position to make sure her needs were met. I was proud," he answered as the door to the limo opened.
The three of them climbed out of the limo, and as soon as Rachel saw her cousins, she was running after them to play.
Once the girl was otherwise occupied, House grabbed Cuddy's wrist to try to pull her back into the limo, but when they turned back, the vehicle was gone. A few people came up to offer congratulations, and House whispered to Cuddy, "I know they say marriage kills your sex life, but I had always assumed it was more of a gradual decline than a hundred-mile-an-hour free fall."
The next couple of hours were filled with food, formalities and guests. House hated it, even Cuddy was not thrilled with how busy they seemed with other people. At one point, he turned to her and glowered, "This was a huge mistake."
It would be easy to interpret his words as an indication that he felt that their marriage was a mistake, but she knew him well enough to understand what he meant. He didn't like the reception, the onlookers and the things that seemed like hindrances to the two of them having a moment alone. Even though she understood, it wasn't what she wanted to hear.
He was trying to escape at one point, deciding that he needed some time to himself before he destroyed one of the well-wishers who were so recently hoping for the couple to have a public falling out. When he went outside, he saw Cuddy.
She was walking along the stone path, moving away from the festivities. His irritation seemed to lighten while he watched her. He couldn't help but feel fortunate for what he had. As he watched her, the truth was completely clear: she was his. He'd known for a while that he was hers.
She gathered her dress while she walked past a patch of wildflowers, so he whistled at her. Cuddy slowed her walk but didn't turn back, she knew it was him.
"You're missing your party," he said as he approached. "I think the bride is supposed to be at the front of the conga line."
"I wanted some air."
"Shouldn't you be celebrating with your husband?"
"I don't know. He thinks this whole thing was a mistake, so maybe he left already," she smirked a bit sadly at him.
"I'm sure he thinks the idiots who are crowding the fun are a mistake, not the part about marrying you."
"Do you really think this whole thing, the guests, the reception, was a mistake?"
"I would have been good with eloping. I miscalculated how much inconvenience people would endure in the hopes that we'd implode. Now, I want to be somewhere alone with my…with…you, and I'm waiting for people to eat the very expensive food we paid for when most of them are disappointed the show wasn't better."
"I don't care what they want. I have what I want. I had a beautiful wedding to the man I'm in love with. In a few hours, we're going to leave here for our honeymoon…just us."
House looked back at the building where the party was going on and said, "Almost time for us to dance. We better get back."
"I'm not worried about it."
"You said that was the one tradition you weren't willing to sacrifice."
"It's fine, House, forget it. I'm not going to drag you in and force you to dance in front of the guests."
He took her hand, bringing her back toward the reception. She pulled back and restated, although a bit disappointedly, "I'm not worried about it. You don't have to participate in some charade so that-"
He pulled her toward him until she was against him. "This isn't a charade," he argued. "You and me…people can use a lot of interesting adjectives to describe us, tell a lot of stories to demonstrate how fucked up we are. Our lives, our history, may not be ideal, but it's real. I still owe you a first dance. If you don't want to go back inside, this is a good song."
Refusing him felt like a pointless effort because, no matter what people thought, the man was romantic in his way. They danced under the waning sun in a world where the two of them were completely alone. Once again, they'd taken custom and adjusted it to be uniquely theirs. Several people had noticed the two of them disappearing from the reception. The couple had no idea that the photographer had found them and had begun taking pictures. One of the pictures he took of them during that unofficial dance would be the photo they'd later hang on their living room wall to commemorate the wedding.
While they danced, Cuddy mentioned, "Maybe we should find a place to seal the deal, consummate our vows, before you change your mind."
"I've changed some things, but it's because there was really no other choice. I'm not changing my mind about this. But, if it means getting you alone in a room, I can pretend that I might change my mind at any minute."
As the song faded, some onlookers clapped from the veranda that surrounded the building. Cuddy turned to see who it was as House tried to block her view of the crowd. "They found us," he sighed, melodramatically.
"You couldn't do that in here so we could all see?" Arlene shouted down to them. "You'll have to come inside and do it again officially so we're all sure it happened."
"Is she planning on witnessing the consummation as well?" House whispered to Cuddy, enjoying the fact that even though others were watching, they were too far away to hear.
"Everyone is waiting for cake too," Arlene shouted again.
"Actually," he whispered to Cuddy again, "I'm pretty sure your mother's presence, hell, even her voice, would ruin my chances of performing. So hopefully she'll take our word for it."
"Can I tell them when to expect you?" Arlene asked.
"In fact," House continued, telling only Cuddy, "I was thinking…the next time a guy shows up at the hospital with priapism, let's call your mother in to talk to him. She might save him the need for a very unfortunate encounter with a needle. If anyone could do it…"
"Gregory, I'm next on your dance card," Blythe said, joining Arlene.
He nodded at Cuddy, "Of course, we could also do trials where we combine your mother with the patient's own mother…the combination of those two factors may ensure that the patient never gets an erection of any kind ever again."
Cuddy laughed for a moment, and said, "Should conditions warrant intervention, I'm trained to provide therapy."
"I need that."
"It's inpatient. I'll require your complete attention for the duration of the treatment."
"So it's like rehab, but fun? Twenty-eight days?"
"More like five. Trust me, you'll want a break after five."
"You are so-"
"So can we tell them you're coming back to your reception in the next five minutes or so?" Arlene interrupted, still shouting from the veranda. "After all, it is your wedding reception, so it might be a good idea if you could take a few minutes to-"
"We'll be right there," Cuddy shouted to her mother. House sneered, and Cuddy whispered, "Your patience will be rewarded."
Once they began to walk back, Cuddy said, "Today was wonderful. I'm glad you wanted to marry me…that it was worth it to you."
She started talking about cake and dances and the arrangements for their honeymoon, trying to fill any silent space with words so he didn't feel the need to respond. Near the end of a long string of words, she added, "Hopefully the flight won't be too hard on your leg…"
"It meant something to me. The wedding, the fact that you showed up, the fact that you wanted me to be on the other end of the vows," he interrupted while he looked at the ground. He started to talk again, just as she had, covering the need for an answer, "My leg will be fine. So do you think any of these losers have decided to put up a campsite near our hotel in the hopes of a honeymoon divorce?"
"I really don't care. They can sit on the outside, but we're not going to let them look in. Whatever happens around us…whatever drama or speculation happens on the outside, will have to remain on the outside. We'll be in our hotel room together, happily sequestered from the rest of the world."
"So your answer is to lock the door? You aren't going to destroy them with your powers?"
"They aren't worth my powers. My answer is to keep our private lives private. We've had to let each other in a little, make…certain concessions, show weaknesses. Just because we show them to each other doesn't mean we have to let anyone else see. We're good at choosing what we let other people see and what we keep to ourselves. This honeymoon, this marriage…this is for us."
"So everyone can look at your dress, but you aren't going to show them what's under it, literally and metaphorically?"
"Pretty much."
"So far even I haven't seen what's under the dress."
"You've seen what's under the dress."
"Not since you became my…"
"Your what, House? That's the second time you've done that."
"Not since you became my wife," he said, with a small wince at the end. "It just sounds weird. It feels weird. It is weird. I'm used to calling you my girlfriend or my boss or-"
"Boss still works if you don't like saying wife," she smiled.
"I like it, I'm just not used to it. Just like I wasn't used to living without Vicodin, I wasn't used to having a girlfriend, and I wasn't used to having a kid. Now all of those things I wasn't used to are normal. Now I don't want to become un-used to them."
They stood at the doorway, ready to walk back inside, "There's no rush. You're going to have plenty of time to get used to this."