A Hard Road Ch. 28
Disclaimer: I don't own anything recognizable in this story. Nor am I making a profit from it.
Author's Note: Dean is 8 and Sammy is 4 in this chapter.
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Previously: "I no like clowns no more. I wanna go home." Sammy cried with tear filled eyes as he clung to his father's neck.
"Okay baby, we'll go home now." John stated as he picked Sammy up and carried him to the car with the others quietly following.
As the small group arrived back at the Impala and John tried to place Sammy in his car seat, his youngest clung to his neck in terror as he trembled violently in his arms. "No daddy no." he sobbed as he tightened his hold with a deathlike grip. Glancing over towards Bobby with a forlorn look, he tossed him the keys and said, "I guess you're driving back." There was no way he was going to force Sammy to sit in his carseat when he was still so upset, the kid was already traumatized enough as it was.
The ride back to Singer Salvage yard was somewhat tense as each hunter sat consumed with guilt and worry for young Sammy. The child had finally cried himself to sleep in John's arms, but it was obvious the sleep was far from restful by the hitching breaths he took every few minutes. They could only sit by helplessly and pray that no nightmares took hold, assaulting even his unconscious mind.
"This is all my fault." thought Joshua silently as he stared solemnly out the window. "If I hadn't placed forty dollars into the swear jar, maybe the boys wouldn't have made enough money to go to the circus. How could I have been so damned stupid?" Unbeknownst to him, John and Bobby were also blaming themselves for what happened. John was blaming himself for bringing the boys to the circus in the first place and Bobby for not knowing what the clowns were up to and then for not moving quickly enough to shield Sammy once he realized what was happening.
"Daddy is Sammy going to be okay?" Dean asked breaking the uncomfortable silence that had overtaken the car.
"He will be Dean, he will be." John lamented with a sigh as he ran a hand up and down Sammy's back. "He's probably going to be pretty upset and clingy for a while. We'll have to make sure he gets all the love and attention he needs over the next few days."
"You can count on him getting it from all of us John, we'll all be glad to help in any way we can." Joshua informed the hunter who had become like a brother to him. "Sammy's needs will come first no matter what."
"Thanks, I have no doubt I'm going to need all of the help I can get." John replied knowing the next few days were going to be rough, not to mention the fact that they were all probably going to have a sleepless night tonight.
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Upon arriving back at Singer Salvage, John tried to place a sleeping Sammy on the couch only for his youngest to wake up and start clinging to him once again. He sighed as he hoisted Sammy onto his side and followed Bobby and the others into the kitchen. Pulling out a chair, he sat down and placed Sammy on his lap as he reached out to take the cup of coffee being offered by Caleb. "Thanks man." he said as he took a sip of the steaming hot brew and placed it on the table out of Sammy's reach.
"Figured you might need it after, you know…" Caleb said as he poured himself a cup of the strong black java.
"Things sure did go to hell in a hand basket quick didn't they." Bobby stated rather than questioned as he ran a hand over the course hairs of his beard. "Who the hell would have thought that a day at the circus could turn out to be such a disaster."
"Yeah, I know what you mean. Sammy was giggling one minute and then screaming in terror the next. I still can't believe I allowed that to happen. I should have known…" Joshua said with disgust only to be cut off by John.
"Josh, there's no way you could have known what those clowns were going to do. It's nobody's fault but theirs for being stupid enough to pull such a stunt in front of a small kid like Sammy."
"I know you're right John. It's just that I feel guilty for not having protected him from that." Joshua responded to his close friend.
"Hell Josh, we all feel that way." Grumbled Bobby as he took a sip of his own coffee. "But since it's happened, we'll just have to deal with the ramifications and hope that they pass quickly."
Deciding that he and Sammy didn't need to hear what the adults were talking about, Dean walked over and reached out his arms for his little brother. "Come on Sammy, let's go watch cartoons while daddy and the others talk." He saw the way his baby brother struggled with deciding what to do and decided to up the ante. "I'll even let you pick the cartoon Sammy. Please tiger, I don't want to watch to watch them by myself cause it isn't any fun without you."
John held his breath as he watched his baby debate with himself what to do. Sammy hadn't been out of his arms since the incident happened and he was beginning to wonder if he would have to sleep in the recliner tonight with Sammy held in his arms. He smiled in relief as he saw Sammy nod his acceptance and go willingly into Dean's arms. Maybe things were going to get just a little bit better.
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Approximately an hour later as John and the others began to prepare dinner, they could hear the sounds of laughter coming from Bobby's living room as Dean and Sammy became engrossed by the antics of the Tom and Jerry cartoon they were watching.
"That sure does sound good doesn't it?" Joshua asked as he nodded his head towards the happy sound coming from the other room. After so much crying earlier, it did his heart good to hear the sounds of Sammy's giggles.
"Can't think of anything I'd rather hear." John replied with a grin as he prepared the macaroni and cheese that Sammy liked so well while Bobby cooked the hotdogs.
They had just set the table and were getting ready to call the boys to come eat when Sammy's screams once again filled the air. Dropping the pot of macaroni and cheese onto the table, John rushed into the living room with Bobby and the others following him to find Sammy violently trembling in Dean's arms.
"What the hell?" John questioned as he walked over and sat by his boys immediately rubbing a soothing hand up and down Sammy's back as his youngest buried his face into the crook of Dean's neck.
"Ronald McDonald" was Dean's obvious answer as he began to rock his baby brother back and forth.
John glanced over to the television to see a commercial for McDonald's playing with the big clown dressed in yellow touting the value of the hamburger happy meal. "Happy meal my…" John's voice faded off as he reached over and pulled a sobbing Sammy from Dean's arms and cradled him to his chest as he placed a feather light kiss on top of his hair.
Grabbing his jacket, John wrapped it around Sammy and carried him outside to sit on the porch swing. As they swung, John thought about what Mary would do in a situation like this. And suddenly the answered hit him as if it had been whispered into his ear. "He needs a lullaby John. Remember the one I used to sing, the one that caught Dean's ear when we watched the Disney movie Dumbo." Closing his eyes, John remembered the lyrics that Mary had used to quiet Dean so many times and he began to softly sing.
Baby mine, don't you cry
Baby mine, dry your eyes
Rest your head close to my heart
Never to part, baby of mine
Little one when you play
Don't you mind what they say
Let those eyes sparkle and shine
Never a tear, baby of mine
As he continued to sing, John could hear Sam's wails tapering off and his trembles starting to cease as Sammy relaxed into his arms. Soon, he felt another weight against him and opened his eyes to see Dean leaning on him as he softly rubbed Sammy's back. Lifting an arm to wrap around Dean's shoulder, John said, "Don't worry kiddo, Sammy's going to be alright." He pulled Dean in close as the three of them swung together quietly in the evening air.
Approximately an hour later, John carried a sleeping Sammy back inside the house with Dean following. "I'm going to take him upstairs and get him ready for bed." John whispered to the others before kicking off his shoes and heading up the steps. Entering the boys room, he unwrapped his jacket from around a sleeping Sammy and threw it over the back of the rocking chair sitting in the corner of the room.
Walking over to one of the beds in the room, he gently lay Sammy down and then pulled off his shoes and jeans. He sighed as he noticed that Sam had been lightly sucking on his thumb since he thought he had finally broken that habit over six months ago. "Guess I can't begrudge you that little comfort this time." he whispered as lightly ruffled Sammy's hair.
After getting Sammy settled, he turned around to see that Dean had gotten himself ready for bed, "In you go champ." he said as he lifted the covers for Dean to crawl in beside Sammy so that he could have Dean's bed tonight. He wanted to be close just in case his youngest suffered a nightmare during the night. He bent down to kiss both of his boys goodnight and then shucked off his own jeans before climbing into bed. He reached over to turn out the light only to be stopped by Dean.
"Hey dad, don't you think we better use a nightlight tonight. If Sammy wakes up and can't see anything he's gonna freak."
"Yeah, I guess you're right there sport." John replied as he climbed out of his bed and ruffled through the drawers on the stand hoping Bobby hadn't thrown away the one that Sammy used to use when they were younger. Smiling in satisfaction, he pulled out the Transformer nightlight and plugged it in to find the comforting glow before once again climbing into bed and shutting off the light. As he lay there on his side, he watched his boys in silence until his eyes grew droopy and he himself faded off to sleep only to be awoken a few hours later by the sounds of Sammy's screams.
TBC