Chapter 1: Narita's Party
The London tour was the worst thing that can happened with Ren. He argued with Nana and he was very affraid about her attacks. He wanted to quit his drug addiction, but it was very hard.
He was nervous and upset. He tryed to read his mangas, but it didn't worked. He always saw Nana on the ground. He asked Nobu and Yasu to take care of his wife but both of them worked very hard. He can't experct from them to take care of Nana 24 hours.
His hands were shakeing. He can't play with them but he didn't want to use drug. He changed his strategy. Sometimes I will use it, but just a little – he thought. Untill this, he always wanted to quit radically, and it always had the same ending: he used it again.
But he affraid. The drug was a very big trap. An addicted always wants more and more untill he become death. But Ren knows why he become an addicted. He never trust in himself. Who trust in someone who was leaving by his parents? But he felt himself stronger now. He know that he is an addicted and he want to quit it not for Nana for his better future. For his happiness. Now he thinks that drug addiction just a bad habbit.
When he looked at Reira, he looked in a very beautiful but very sas eyes. He didn't want to be regretted. He dind't want to be the victim.
Firstly, Ren hated Narita. Nobody loved him. But during his deep addiction time they talked a lot. They had a same secret. Narita gave him cocain first, and he give him now too. Everybody know his secret, but nobody know how much he trust in Narita. They became friends somehow.
„Can everybody tell me, why Narita come with use? I don't miss him", said Takumi.
Ren didn't listen to him. He looked to the clouds. He wanted to smoke but he couldn't do it on the plane.
When they landed, they got their's luggages, and they had to go to the hotel. But in the car smoking was allowed.
Ren doesn't like London very mutch. It always raining, and british people always eat bread with bread. He wanted to eat Nana's meal, he wanted to eat with chopsticks, and sleep a lot. He became very lazy in the last few weeks.
„And here is my band", said Narita, when Trapnest arrived to the hotel. „I thought you will never arrive."
„There was a little problem with the check in", answered Takumi, and he asked his roomcard from the receptionist.
Ren doesn't like to wait in the hotel's hall. He likes his fans, and he can speak in English, but not as fluently like Reira. He hates to speak in English.
„Ask mine too", he said to Takumi.
After Takumi give his cart to him, Ren went to the elevator. But Narita stopped him.
„Don't be a heroe!", said by the boss, and he slided a little paper in Ren's pocket.
„I am the badboy, you know it."
Ren didn't look at Takumi in the lift. He watched his reflection. He wanted to find the young Ren who lived with Nana in this lonly warehouse, but he didn't find that boy. I have to live a better way, he thought.
In his room, he opened the letter. There was just a short message in it. I will wait for you in front of the hotel at 7 pm. We will go to a party.
Ren looked to his mobile. There was 5:30 pm. He had one and a half hour untill 7. Too little to sleep, but too much to watching the ceiling.
He had a shower. The warm water relaxed his muscles. His head ached. He wanted to call Nana, but he didn't know what would he say. He felt, that he betrayed Nana with this tour.
He washed his hair. He didn't like to do this before the concert, but now he just go to a party. And he didn't want to cheat Nana.
He arrived first. He wore a black cap and a sunglasses. He wanted to hide from his fans. He lighted a Seven Stars.
„You was very quick", said Narita, and he lighted a cigarette too. When he works he doesn't smoke. Only in his freetime.
„What about the others?"
„It will be a private party".
Ren knew what these private partys about: drug, alcohol and girls. He wanted neither.
„And what's if I don't want it?"
„Come on! You want it. We both know it"
Ren don't want to argue. He sat into the limousine. The driver heard some pop music from a famous DJ. Ren hated it. Ha was a rocker.
„Can't we listening something else?"
„Forget your Nana's album!"
„I'm not thinking about BLAST now. Calm down!"
Finally, they listened Trapnest. Ren didn't mind it. These was his acquest. And he was proud for them.
„Where are we going?"
„For my friend's partyhouse"
„And what will we do there? Drinking? Sex with prostitute?"
„Have fun. Like we always did"
Ren didn't say anything to it. He watched a lights. He knew some hours later, he won't see anything just a new illusion. Sometimes he wants to vomit from his thoughts.
Ren was drunk. He was in a square, but he didn't know wich square. Narita was totally drunk too.
„And what's about this blond girl? Was she great?", asked Ren with a big smile.
„Three from five. But you had the opportunity to figure out. She wanted you"
„I'm a marriaged man. And I don't like silicone."
„But she had a very beautiful breast"
„I though to her lips"
Ren sat on the bench. He dizy a little. He drank too much.
„I figured out your new album photo. It will be very hot. You will lay on a bed, and Reira will be int he front. You know between you and Takumi. Imagine it like a little rest after a good sex"
„So we will naked?"
Narita started to laugh. He was drinking vodka. Ren didn't want to mix alcohols. He was drinking whisky.
„You know, I always think about Takumi's hair. And I don't know why, but when I think about him, I always see a horse", said Narita.
„Interesting",nodded Ren. He can imagine Takumi like a centaure.
„And the worst that I always see him when I close my eyes"
Ren had to laugh in it. Takumi had a armada of fans, but he never sees any man who likes Takumi.
„And when you think about Takumi, who is the girl?"
„I dont think to hime like this!"
„That how?"
„I don't know. I just see him"
„Than I chase away him", said Ren, and he kissed Narita.
It was just a few moments, but Narita freaked out. He jumped up to the banch, and try to be as far as Ren that is possible.
„Are you crazy? You kissed me!"
„I'm sure, that you won't have nightmares if you think about me"
Narita become white, when he see to Ren's lips. He was absolutly shocked.
„I'm just joked", saind Ren.
„God, it was very freaky!"
„But I'm a handsome man, you know it too".
During the rode to the hotel, they didn't talk. Narita was still in a shock, and Ren laught too hard to say anything.
„Don't you want to continue the party in my room?", asked Ren.
„After you kissed me? I don't think so"
„Please, I want to talk with you".
Narita nodded, and he followed Ren to his room. Ren take off his cap and his sunglasses, and he lay on his bed.
„What will be the topic?", asked Narita. He lighted a new cigarette.
„What do you think?"
„Maybe, why are you kiss men?"
„I don't know. You come to my room at night, not me"
„Ren, you know what I think about you addiction. If you need it to write songs, I won't stop you. But if you feel that you can't live without it, you have to stop.
„Yes, I'm your stupid moneymaker"
„You know, that you mean a lot to me"
Ren wish, that Nana thinks it too. He loves her so much, but Nana just thinks about herself. Her pride was always more importent then her love. Then Ren. And that was the most painful in Ren's life. He wants to be the first to Nana.
„Ren, if you find yourself, you will be happy. But you know that."
„And who I am? The playboy? The rocker? The heroe? The drug addicted? Say, Narita! Who I am?
„Everyone of these, and non of these. You are Ren. It says everything. You are the only one who doesn't see it"
Maybe he is right, thought Ren, and he slept.