And now for chapter 2. Weird how beer mixed with obscure chemicals can create life, huh? Bender is now playing god...again.
Bender was in his and Fry's apartment late at night. Fry was asleep, but Bender stayed up watch his creation. He stared at the glass jar that held the fragile life that he, Bender, had unwittingly set in motion by combining purple chemicals with regular old beer. It simply made no sense. But then again, when it comes to science, very, VERY few things tend to make sense. Bender could still see the wiggly things swimming through the violet beer blend if he extended his eye bulbs foreward as he often did when observing fembots from very closeby. There were literally hundreds of them. With his robotic super-speed, he had counted at least 874 of them in less than 5 seconds, and there seemed to be more whenever he looked. The wiggly thing that had first seen Bender was still floating there, staring up at him. These wiggly things, or "Protopaleoprokaryotes", as the Professor called them, obviously viewed the bending unit as their god, just like the Shrimpkins had all those years ago.
Bender sighed. He remembered what happened the last time he had played god. All of his subjects were obliterated. He stared at the PPPs again. He thought, "Maybe this was supposed to happen. Maybe these wiggly things were meant to give me a second chance at playing god, and doing it the right way." Bender considered this idea for several moments.
"Nah. These things just came up random out of the blue." Bender said in his normal attitude. "Still, it's pretty cool that I created a whole world of living creatures with my beer." Bender continued to stare at the jar, glancing at the digital clock on the wall every few minutes. Last time he checked it was 3:50 AM. Bender looked at the clock again; it was now 4:12. Bender went back to his jar. The Protopaleoprokaryotes gave off a bright glow at night. Bender kept watching them. Suddenly, one of them began to stretch. Bender gasped as the Protopaleoprokaryote split into two. Soon, more of them followed its example, splitting into two halves. Within seconds, the entire population of the jar had doubled.
"Wow." Bender said to himself. "Living creatures are actually pretty cool!" Bender then noticed that the new Protopaleoprokaryotes had some sort of tiny, purpleish mass forming in their centers, and then, their membranes became slightly thicker, and the Protopaleoprokaryotes grew just a bit larger than their origional counterpart.
"Oh..my...GOD!" Bender yelled. "They're evolving!"
Fry had been sleeping soundly before he heard Bender scream. He woke up with a start as the aforementioned robot burst through his door.
"Fry! Fry!" Bender hysterically yelled.
"What?! What is it, Bender?" Fry shouted back, angrily awoken.
"It's the things in my jar! They evolved!" Bender shouted at the delivery boy.
"What?" Fry said again.
"Just look!" Said Bender as he shoved the jar into Fry's face. However, since Fry did not have the extensive vision of a robot, he could not see anything in the jar other than the chemical soup that was in their.
"Uh, I don't see anything." Fry said.
"Goddamnit! C'mon!" Bender said angrily as he grabbed Fry's arm and dragged him out of the apartment.
"Wait! Where are we going?" Said Fry. Bender responded,
"We're going to the Professor's lab so you can see what happenend to my cell-thingys."
The Professor was sound asleep in his lab, sitting in front of his smell-o-scope. As he snored away, he was not awoken by the sound of the door to his lab opening, nor the sound of a robot and a human walk through. Bender set his jar of life down on a lab table and pulled up one of the most powerful microscopes the Professor had. He looked though it himself to test it and then told Fry to do the same.
"Alright, alright. I'll look at your dumb cell-things." Fry said as he stared at them through the lens. What he saw was a bit shocking.
"Holy crap!" Fry exclaimed. "Bender, your things really did evolve!"
"And you doubted the word of me, the amazing Bender, for what reason now?" Bender probed.
"And WHAT are you two doing in MY lab at THIS hour?" A familiar voice suddenly said. Fry and Bender turned around swiftly to see a VERY grumpy-looking Professor Farnseworth glaring at them through his 3-inch-thick glasses.
"Um..we're here..to..uh..wish you a happy birthday?" Bender choked out weakly. Surprisingly, the Professor baught it.
"Really? Oh thank goodness! I though everybody forgot! It's nice to know that there are some people out there who care." He said. However, Bender and Fry had now left.
The next day, everyone showed up for work at Planet Express, including Bender, who had brought along his jar.
"Spleesh, Bender. How long are you going to carry around that jar of cells?" Amy asked the machine.
"As long as I damn want to!" Bender retorted as he held the jar.
"Good news, everyone!" The Professor said as he came through the door to the conference room. "We're making a delivery to the planet Carbonoit, a planet made out of Carbon, and then be making a second delivery to the neighboring planet Nitrogenic, a gas planet made purly of Nitrogen gas." The descriptions of those certain planets gave Bender an idea.
"Hey, Carbon and Nitrogen are good for living things, right?" Bender asked the Professor.
"Well yes, but why in Satan's glorious name would you care?"
"Um, no reason. Just thinkin' out loud here." Bender said casually.
"Oh, I get it. You want to make sure your cells are healthy, don't you Bender?" Amy said.
"No! Of- of course not! Shut up!" Bender hastily retorted. "Let's go already!" With that, Leela, Bender, and Fry went up into the ship(with Bender bringing his cell jar of course).
Several lightyears later, the ship plunged into the atmosphere of Carbonoit. The planet's surface was made entirly of solid Carbon right down to the core, and their were numerous oceans and lakes of liquid Carbon, and the atmosphere was completely made of Carbon gas, which living things could not breathe.
"Looks like we're here." Leela said through her oxygen suit as Fry and Bender unloaded a huge block of diamond-carbon from the ship.
"Sheesh! Why does a planet of Carbon need such a huge diamond?" Fry said as he attempted to push the extremely heavy gem.
"Because," An unfamiliar voice said. "Diamonds are sacred to our people." The 3 turned to face a towering rock creature, appearing to be made completely out of coal. The creature picked up the huge diamond with ease and said,
"Thank you for your generous offering. Good day" Before stomping away towards the horizon. The crew stared for a while, until Leela said,
"Well, I guess that's it. Let's go."
"Hold on." Bender said. "There's something I wanna do first." Without waiting for an answer, Bender went and took out some tweasers from his chest compartment and picked a tiny drop of solid carbon from the planet surface, unscrewed the lid of his life jar, and promptly dropped the bit of carbon into it. Bender watched as the Proto-prokaryotes gathered around the bit of carbon-which to them was quite large- and began to absorb peices of it into their cell bodies.
"Yeah, you guys like that, don't you?" Bender said cutely to his little cells. Leela and Fry chuckled to themselves at this sight.
"Alright, let's cheese it!" Bender said as he climbed back into the ship. As Leela piloted the space vessel towards the closeby planet Nitrogenic, Bender watched with content as his little cells prospered, eating up the carbon and deviding.
Soon, the ship floated into the nitogen atmosphere of the the gas planet. Bender, surprisingly, volunteered to go out and make the delivery himself. As Bender floated among the nitrogen clouds hanging by a tether to the ship and carrying a box of red pepper, he casually took his cell jar out of his chest and opened it, letting a balloonful of nitrogen gas inside before he screwed it shut again. He was then met by two living nitrogen clouds that looked like humans, sort of, who said nothing and took the red pepper and signed for it with drops of liquid nitrogen. The clouds then disipated, and Bender was pulled back into the ship, letting some extra nitrogen into his jar, which the proto-cells were thankful for.
Back on Earth, Bender showed the newly evolved prokaryotes to the Professor.
"Incredible!" Farnseworth exclaimed. "Bender, it seems that your prokaryotes are evolving at a supernaturally excellerated rate! They've already evolved neclei in less than a day!"
"Oh, is that what those little spots inside them are?" Bender asked.
"Yes, and they've developed rhibosomes as well! And cell membranes! This unbelievable! Bender you must let the scientific community know of these incredible cells!" The Professor exclaimed.
"No, not yet. I think I'll hang on to 'em for a while longer. Just to be safe." Bender said as he took the jar and placed it back inside his chest compartment. "Plus, I think they like me."
"Why shouldn't they?" Farnseworth said. "After all, it was you, and you alone, who created the environmental conditions necessary for them to exist."
"Yup. Me, the magnificent Bender." Bender said as he stolled out of the lab.
"...And I'll name you, Bender jr." Bender was back at his apartment with Fry. The robot had just finished naming each and every cell in his jar; they were all named either Bender jr. or Bender II.
Bender switched on the TV and took out a bottle of beer from his chest. As he began to drink, Bender had a thought. He tipped his beer bottle over the open cell jar and poured a few teaspoons of it into the liquid. Bender watched as the life juice began to change color. Within moments it had changed from violet to dark blue, and Bender saw that his cells were evolving again. They expanded, grew larger, more powerful nuclei, and even developed small green orbs inside them that moved around. Bender had no idea what all this was, so he called the Professor on his eyePhone.
"Hey, Professor? What does it mean when a cell develops little green orbs that move inside it?" Bender asked the image of Farnseworth.
"Oh, that? It simply means that the cell is creating food storage for itself, so that it can feed itself later if no food is available." The old man answered.
"Cool." Bender said before hanging up. "Looks like my little cells are growing tough." Bender sipped more of his beer, and then thought of something as he looked at his little cells. Bender knew that if he was going to play god with these things, he would need to know everything about cells. So, he took the remote, switched channels from
"All My Circuits", to a documentary about the nature of cells and single-celled organisms, locked his eye bulbs on the screen, and set his central processor to 'learn' .
End of ch. 2. I hope you like
I'll just say that, though I did take biology, and was pretty good at it, I may not get some of this cell stuff 100% right. But they are alien cells that originated from alcohol. They can evolve however I want, and they will.
Stay tuned for future updates!