A/N at the bottom. Please Read it!
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The stares are painful. Constricting. Watching my every move.
I bet they all wonder who would be with me in the first place.
I'm not pretty. The contrasting shades of green and red make me seem like a Christmas doll. Small, ready to be destroyed within a moment of being touched. I don't have the nice, beautiful and curvy body that all the other girls my age do either.
I'm not smart by any means. My grades reach average, but that's the best I could ever achieve in this lifetime.
No one talks to me. No one wants to be near me within a mile radius. Jace hasn't been at school for the past two days. Isabelle nor Alec will talk to me either. Simon still hangs out with me between classes, but I don't see him otherwise throughout the day.
Lunch isn't appealing anymore. I haven't eaten in two days. Nothing looks appetizing. The odor of anything makes me sick to my stomach. I just wander the school or walk down to the soccer fields during my free hour.
I haven't done any of my homework for the last couple of days, not motivated enough to even try.
Painting even holds a depressing look in it. The darkest shades of lead covering my sketches. A broken hue of the bright yellows, greens, and pinks I used to toy with now overcome with reds, purples and blues that could almost be classified as black.
My life has gone dark.
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I haven't received anything from Aline in the last few days.
Should I be worried?
She, like Jace, hasn't been at school either. I heard she was going on some trip out of town with her parents or whatnot. Probably just too proud to show her face. Proud that she destroyed my life. Just how she always wanted.
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Short.
Ugly.
Freak.
Stupid.
Unwanted.
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Another day, gone and past. No one cares anymore. Simon didn't even show up today, saying he had an appointment.
I walked the halls by myself. The envious glares that were once thrown at me because of my status with Jace was once funny and almost enjoyable. Now they have turned from jealousy to disgust and cause me to shrink to the walls or to the floor.
Jace has tried to call me hundreds of times. I ignore them all, listening only to the voicemails he leaves after every one.
Please call me back, Clare.
I really need to hear from you.
I just want to know what happened. What's wrong. I want to help.
I don't want him to know what happened. I don't want him to know what's wrong with my entire life. I don't need help.
I'm fine.
I will be fine.
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I will most definitely not be fine. Not after the notes in my locker, or laying on my desks. Not from Fang/Aline. No, from everyone else. Boys and girls alike.
Most comment on how they knew I was such a slut. Or how they believed I had some dark and scary secret hiding within.
How they ever thought I could be nice. Or the good girl.
The words, "Never let anyone else define you." was a constant statement from my mother. I used to take that saying to heart, making it my motto.
I give up. It doesn't work anymore. It's much too hard to fight what everyone was saying. It was just...to hard.
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My mural. My once beautiful mural...
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I arrived home after school. No new messages. No calls, no texts.
I just give up.
I somehow find my way into my art room, the smell of paint and pastels not calming my mind or my jittery fingers. A block has overcome me. I can't draw anything anymore. At least, nothing I want to draw. Everything is too dark, too deathly. Too...horrid.
An angel with broken wings, weeping on stone steps.
Huddled in a corner, chained to the wall, a child with a broken look to his eyes.
Or the painting that sat in my art room still. The one Isabelle saw. The partial profile of waves that must be a girl's hair. The pained overlapping twist that resembles an eye. The awkward handle and blade of a disfigured knife. The blobs I had once mistaken as tear shaped now only remind me of blood. The painting looks painful.
It is painful.
I'm done with pain.
The bucket makes it's way into my hands, and before I have any knowing of my actions, the swirling pattern of complex designs that was once a mural was hidden behind a milky white. It covers the wall and floor, some reaching up to the ceiling even.
I just fall to the ground and cry, letting darkness overtake me easily.
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A/N:
So...hey guys. I just want to apologize for taking soooo freaking long to update. I just had so much going on, and i had a writing block that just had me sit here at stare at a blank page for hours when I actually had free time.
But I hope you forgive me. And I hope you liked this chapter. Please tell me your thoughts, both good and bad, or if it was weird or confusing or anything.
I would like, before I sign off to write some more (yay), to acknowledge a few people who really really helped me get this story along by your comments:
NemiTheVeggieEater
Hannah101
Doclover
and the countless number of Guests
and everyone who read this story, followed and favorited and such. You don't know how much any of that means to me.
But that all aside, I will try my hardest to update from now on for both Shattered and Pixie's Paper.
Until next time
shadowwarrior898
