Author's Note: Ahahaha, oh no. I should be studying but I could not get this story out of my mind between sine, cosine and tangent. As usual, my endnote is much crazier than my author's note so I'm keeping this simple.
PS. Amuto Forever, look for yourself down there okay? ^.^ *points downward*
Title: A Tale of Timeless Love
Disclaimer: If I pulled out a star from the heavens whenever I wished I did, there wouldn't be any stars up there in the night sky anymore which would not only make it bland and dull but would make me lose one of my favorite hobbies – so yeah, I don't own it.
-OoO-
CHAPTER 5 Expectations, Expectations, Where Art Thou Expectations?
Amu stifled a yawn as she walked down the hallway, a stack of scrolls pooled in her arms carefully and neatly. She still felt slightly tired at the events of the night before. She unconsciously glanced at her bandaged arm and remembered the black cat, Yoru. She felt a strange urge to see the cat – not much though, to his owner, she added wryly.
She entered the documentary office to return the records Utau borrowed and she was surprised to find someone already there.
"A pleasant morning to you, Hinamori-san." A male's voice greeted her as she entered the office.
Amu started and raised her eyes from the floor she had been staring at to the green-haired boy who was holding a stack of scrolls similar to her own. He was standing by one of the scroll filled shelves in the room, looking at her.
"Good morning to you too, Sanjo Kairi-san?" she replied tentatively and he nodded before replying.
"Yes, that is correct. I'm afraid the two of us have not been introduced properly yet," he said as he moved to stand closer. He stood a meter away from her and bowed before saying, "I am Sanjo Kairi, Prince Ikuto's personal aide."
Amu imitated his bow and said, "A pleasure to meet you, Sanjo-san. I am Hinamori Amu, Princess Utau's personal aide." She replied more for common courtesy, since he was already aware of her name.
He raised his head and met her gaze. "Would it be possible for me to ask of you to refrain from addressing me Sanjo?" he requested.
"If it is what you prefer then I shall comply to your wishes." Amu replied politely, she never liked prying into other people's business – she understood why, it was simply because she herself did not like to be pried. "Then what do you suggest I address you as?" she inquired.
"I'd prefer you call me by my first name." he replied promptly, looking glad – probably since she had not asked any further about his request.
"Then, shall Kairi-san suffice?" she suggested and he didn't looked displeased.
"Yes, that would be acceptable." He agreed with a nod of his head.
"Are you returning some scrolls, Kairi-san?" she inquired, obliging to his request. She glanced at the scrolls in his hands.
"Partly, but I am also taking out some scrolls to be edited and revised." He explained briefly moving to a table where working materials were placed on, proving his statement. "And you, Hinamori-san?" he asked as he took a seat by the table.
Amu on the other hand moved towards one of the severally sectioned shelves of scrolls where she settled the scrolls in her hands on an empty space by the shelf and began sorting through them. She looked back at Kairi, seeing him dip his clean brush in the ink bottle by his right arm, before she gave an appropriate reply.
"I came to return some scrolls for the Princess but I also intend borrow a few and read them. Is there perchance a scroll here containing a detailed map of the Imperial Palace?" Amu inquired as she placed a few scrolls back in their proper places.
"I see, I believe there should be a copy of the latest map by the Palace cartographer in the last shelf by the window over there." He replied, using his head to point to the general direction of the shelf he was referring to, but still holding the brush steadily in his hand.
"You seem very adept at doing work like this, Kairi-san. I assume you've done it quite a number of times." Amu mused aloud as she turned back to the shelf and placed a few scrolls in their proper positions.
"I'm glad. I will be able to memorize the layout as soon as possible." Amu said more to herself than to her companion.
"You are very dedicated, aren't you, Hinamori-san?" he asked politely, his hand pausing for a moment. She glanced back at him and saw him looking back at her through the corner of his eye. For a moment, Amu could not see his eyes because of the glare from the sun clouding his round spectacles. She replied nonetheless; after all, it was proper etiquette to give a reply when addressed by someone.
"It is because I am a mere commoner and because I am a commoner, people have higher expectations of me." Amu replied logically.
Once she had finished returning all the scrolls, she moved along the row of shelves to the one Kairi had specified and searched for the Palace map.
"It seems you and I are quite similar." Kairi said audibly as she continued to search for the map. She looked at him through the corner of her eye and saw that he had stopped writing – but only for a moment, that is.
"In what way?" she said inquisitively as she continued to watch him work effortlessly, writing with uncharacteristic ease. She saw him pause at her question as if contemplating the most suitable answer.
A few seconds ticked by before he finally gave an answer.
"You are aware that my sister is the personal aide of the Emperor, are you not?" he asked meaningfully and Amu understood immediately. She could not see his expression from behind but she could very well guess what it was – in fact, she supposed it was similar to her own passive mask.
"It must have been harsh." She commented as she turned back to her quest for the map.
When she looked back, she finally spotted the section full of maps on the shelf. She skimmed through the labels on the seals and found the particular map she wanted. She took it into her hands and walked towards the table where Kairi was seated at.
Just as she was about to take a seat, she saw him shrug and heard him reply, "I suppose, but I have already gotten accustomed to it. I've lived in the Palace all my life, after all." He said offhandedly like it did not really matter to him anymore. Amu realized that he was actually giving a reply to her comment. She took a seat, laid the scroll on the table and carefully spread it out in front of her.
"And now you are the personal aide of the First Prince of Seiyo." She said deliberately, aiming to subtly praise this boy her age that she held a high opinion of.
"Says one who was promoted as the Princess's aide after only a year of working as a simple servant." He said matter-of-factly, glancing at her with wise and knowing eyes.
She suddenly felt a tad apprehensive of him; she always had that sort of feeling whenever she felt that someone had purposely looked into her background and such. It finally occurred to her that Kairi Sanjo was Ikuto's aide for a reason – and she was pretty sure it was not simply because he was Yukari Sanjo's younger brother.
"It was simply by luck that I had caught the Emperor's interest." She replied reservedly. She saw that he had turned back to his work when she glanced at him briefly through the corner of her eye.
"You must truly be very diligent and intelligent to have impressed the Emperor to a degree that he would even make you his daughter's personal aide." He said casually but in a praising tone.
"I am not as talented as you presume I am." She insisted.
In truth, she never saw herself as thus – rather, she was always intrigued as to why people were impressed with her simply because she did what was asked of her efficiently. Wasn't it always much better to do things as orderly and as systematic as possible?
Kairi gave her a sideways glance before he turned back with a small smile on his lips.
"I thought you were purely jesting with me – but it seems you really are humble." He commented with a hint of amusement in his tone. He reached the end of the scroll at last and swiftly switched to the next one with practiced ease. Amu was inwardly amazed at how efficient and neat he worked – she understood from his demeanor alone that he was a skilled and adept at what he did and she knew nobody could say otherwise.
"Kairi-san, you are very perceptive, am I correct?" Amu asked purposefully, deliberately not looking in his direction.
"It is a quality that must be possessed by any aide of the Royal Family." He said knowledgeably as he continued to write without pause. "As my sister would have put it, most definitely." He added a bit dryly.
Amu noted that he kept a careful level of indifference when he spoke about his sister – it was similar to the care she made when she interacted with another person.
"Then what do you perceive of the First Prince?" Amu asked straightforwardly, knowing that Kairi was well aware of Ikuto's night escapades.
"The First Prince –" his hand paused at its writing and it was as if he was looking for the appropriate words, "In truth, he never shows his true self to anyone. In front of the Palace servants and the business partners of the country, he is Prince Tsukiyomi Ikuto, First Prince of Seiyo and Royal Heir to the throne. He occasionally lets out his real self whenever he runs away from work and I simply take it upon myself to just finish his work for him." He said without much emotion, looking straight into her eyes.
"Wait, correct me if I am wrong but are you saying that the First Prince has daily duties?" she asked quite seriously. Kairi looked slightly taken aback at her question.
"Why yes, he has the third most amount of work right after the Emperor and the Court Judge, Tsukasa-dono. He not only has to attend private lessons but finish numerous stacks of paperwork and also, he accompanies the Emperor to every one of his meetings on a daily basis. He hardly has time to eat even, did you not believe that it would be so right from the beginning? He is the Royal Heir Hinamori-san." He explained with a small crease in his forehead. Amu felt extremely foolish and humiliated when he had pointed it out to her so blatantly.
It was because from her two meetings with Ikuto, she had assumed he had all the time in the world because of the trouble-free countenance he had shown her. So in fact, the time he spent with her should have been the time he had to rest as much as possible, she realized with surprise. When this realization had hit her, she wished she had not met the two-faced Prince – if she didn't, she wouldn't have been such a hindrance, Amu thought to herself with contempt.
"I never imagined him to have a diligent worker persona." She muttered out loud without thinking and immediately regretted it when Kairi looked wholly nonplussed at her words. She watched as he put down his brush for once and turned to look back at her fully.
"Why do you –" he began to ask but abruptly stopped and Amu saw the flash of realization pass his eyes. "Are you, perchance a close acquaintance of the Prince?" he asked curiously, his eyes sparkling as if it had gotten hold of some deep secret.
"If I'm not mistaken, he also asked me to deliver a letter to you on the day you arrived." He added as an afterthought. But she knew his intention, he wanted her to explain to him that his hunch was wrong – and if she did, he would be satisfied. If she didn't – well, that was another story.
Amu tried to think of a reply that could amend their current situation. She was very much in danger of being discovered and she had no plans of being associated with the First Prince of Seiyo in rumors that would spread if it got out. There would be no telling what Utau would to her if she found out that she had secret meetings with her dearest darling brother who was also, apparently, her sole love interest.
She searched desperately for a decent lie – but there was none good enough to fool him. There was no other choice, if she avoided the question he would only be suspicious of her so her only choice was to answer it – but keep the details as vague as possible. She had done it a few times before, she wasn't sure it was going to succeed this time but she had to try at least. After all, she had no intention of leaving the Palace so soon when she had just barely arrived.
"Well, how should I say this… the First Prince – seems to have designated me as his personal confidante?" She said flatly, not bothering to elaborate. She purposely left a question mark at the end of her reply to make him assume that she was uncertain regarding her real relationship to the Prince. She hoped he understood that she did not want to speak more about it.
When she raised her eyes to look at his face she was taken aback at the thoughtful expression diffused across it.
"I see… so that was your doing." He said audibly, placing a finger on his chin as he cast his eyes down onto the black wooden table. He looked like he was trying to piece together some extremely complex puzzle. Amu greatly wished he would not see the whole picture of the truth.
"I beg your pardon?" Amu asked in cautiously. Kairi looked back at her and gave a pleased smile which only further confused her.
"Recently, the Prince has showed uncharacteristic enthusiasm in his work for once; he also looks less stressed than usual. I presume that it was your doing, am I mistaken?" he inquired with calculating eyes.
Amu bit her lip before she gave an answer, "I'm not sure as to the answer of that question." She replied honestly and Kairi looked all the more pleased.
"You seem to be doing him some good either way, hence I shall keep the content of our conversation between the two of us only. You can help him practice for when he makes his official public appearance. I trust that you will take good care of him and treat him well." He said amiably with a nod of his head.
"Um, it is my pleasure?" she replied uncertainly, not knowing what was happening but understanding that she had escaped being exposed.
Amu gave an extremely relieved sigh at his words. Once again, she was saved by the skin of her teeth – for now that is. She was pretty sure she would have more crises along the way, especially since she was dealing with the Royal Family of Seiyo. She decided that she could approach Kairi whenever she wanted to inquire about something and she realized it was easier to talk to someone her age than to Yukari or Nikaidou.
"Ah yes. I heard about that, he is to be made known officially when he turns 20 this year, am I correct?" she asked, deciding to change the topic as swiftly as possible by following his lead.
"Yes, it will be held during the *Aki Megami Matsuri, which coincidentally coincides with the First Prince's birthday." Kairi said as he took the brush into his hand once more and swiftly returned to his interrupted work.
"I wasn't aware of that fact."Amu commented interestedly, forgetting about the map she was supposed to be memorizing.
"Then do you want me to tell you the birthdays of the other members of the Royal Family?" he offered as he dipped his brush in the ink bottle again.
"Enlighten me." Amu agreed, readying her brain to memorize every single fact and detail he would mention. He was going to tell her vital information and she had no intention of letting his time to tell her go to waste, especially since he had promised to keep her connection with the Prince a secret.
Kairi cleared his throat before spoke clearly, "The Emperor's birthday is during the summer solstice which is a day before the *Teikoku no Matsuri. The Princess's birthday is a fortnight before the *Ie Atsumarimasu and the Second Prince's birthday is right after the First Prince's." he said easily, as if he was just reading it directly from a scroll.
"Thank you. I've committed all of them to memory." Amu said gratefully, reciting them one more time in her mind and satisfied that she had repeated it word by word perfectly.
"If you want the full list, there's one scroll in one of the shelves containing all of the occasions in a year, including additional information about dates which were moved, renamed, and abolished by the past Emperors over the years. I'm not really sure as to its precise position but I will try to search for it for you." He said generously.
"There's no need to trouble yourself Kairi-san, I can just look for it myself." Amu politely declined.
"Then how about we search together? It would be faster and more efficient that way. I can delay my work for a bit. I usually stay here for the whole day most of the time, I can spare a few minutes." He suggested, and Amu admitted that it was a very logical idea and was left with no choice but to nod in agreement.
Just as both of them stood up to begin looking, Sanjo Yukari entered the room calmly. Amu noticed that Kairi's body had gone rigid the moment Yukari had arrived and entered his peripheral vision. She walked towards the two of them and addressed Amu swiftly.
"Hinamori Amu. I need to speak with you." She said simply. Amu looked back at Kairi who wasn't looking at his sister. She sauntered to the table where Kairi's work was still in progress and took the Palace map, resealing it before she walked to Sanjo Yukari's side. Kairi remained silent for the whole duration and continued to remain silent as Amu and Yukari exited the room.
When they had entered the hallway, they walked a few steps before Yukari addressed her again in a very stern voice.
"Hinamori-san, I must inform you of a very urgent appointment tomorrow involving you and Princess Utau." She said without skipping a beat her expression a bit grim.
"Understood. The appointment is regarding – ?" she left her sentence hanging, waiting for Yukari to finish it herself. Yukari waited for Amu to fall into step beside her before she answered her query.
"Regarding Princess Utau's first meeting with her soon-to-be fiancé." She replied and Amu was mildly surprised at her answer but she understood the reason for this conversation.
"I see. The Princess is most likely to escape from the meeting, am I correct?" Amu said, knowing Yukari was already aware of this fact – which is exactly why she was informing Amu beforehand. Utau wasn't the type of person who would accept such a thing so easily. Amu guessed she would probably make drastic measures simply so she would not attend. In truth Amu was slightly curious as to whether she would help Utau escape or help Yukari keep an eye on her.
"Yes. That is why we must be vigilant tomorrow. The Princess must definitely attend the meeting else it would be an insult to the Minister of the Left and that is what Tsukasa-dono wants to prevent the most." She said decisively, her eyes burning with determination. Amu assumed that this was the reason she was left in charge of Utau all these years.
"Of course. I will be sure to keep her in my line of sight at all times." Amu said dutifully, still pondering on which side she would take as they walked down the hallway.
"But we must not alert her of the fact that we are watching her. Else she would do something much worse than just not running away." She added reasonably and Amu could think of a hundred things the Utau would try to do if she found out she was observed. She also did not like the prospect of getting on her bad side so Amu decided she would just help both sides – it wasn't impossible, she just had to be careful not get caught.
"A sound point. I shall be as inconspicuous as possible." she replied promptly with a nod of acknowledgement.
"I will leave it to you to watch her tonight then." Yukari informed her, "I will take over your job tomorrow." She added.
"Understood."
Amu had a very uncanny feeling that tomorrow was going to be a very very busy day for her.
-OoO-
A while before Amu and Yukari's conversation
"Surely you jest, Mother?" Utau asked seriously, her gaze fixed on Kazuomi and Souko standing side by side in front of the Royal throne. Souko's hands were clasped together tightly – Utau knew her mother's mannerisms better than anyone else. Her mother only did that when she was extremely nervous about something. Kazuomi had his arm wrapped around her waist and was looking at her intently.
Kazuomi's face was rigid while Souko's was almost pleading. Utau looked at her mother, impatiently waiting for an explanation as to what Kazuomi had just spoken to her a few seconds ago. She wanted to hear it from her mother personally rather than from that man.
"I am a hundred percent serious, Utau. You are to be engaged to the Minister of the Left's youngest son and successor. The decision has already been made." Kazuomi said calmly, trying but failing to break the heavy tension in the air.
Utau turned her sharp gaze to him and scowled as immense displeasure emanated from her. "You mean your decision had has already been made. I don't recall being consulted about this matter, Father." She said acidly, putting a lot of sarcasm on the last word. She knew how much it irked him whenever she did that to his face.
"Utau…" Souko spoke softly and Utau pointedly glared at her mother. Souko flinched slightly at the angry and burning gaze of her daughter. She had never been on the receiving end of one of her glares. Utau had always made sure she was calm when she dealt with her mother, but she couldn't bring herself to be calm after what Kazuomi had just told her.
"You just watched him decide everything on his own without saying anything didn't you?" Utau accused indignantly. Souko looked hurt and guilty at her daughter's words. She knew she was right – she could always read her mother like a book, even back then.
At her mother's reaction, Utau turned away and cast her eyes down to the floor. She chewed the inside of her cheek and clenched her fists. So her mother hardly cared about her; it wasn't exactly news to her since nobody ever did anyway.
"You couldn't care less about my feelings because your own feelings are always your top priority." She muttered darkly but audibly. Utau heard Souko take a deep intake of breath, she did not bother to look back at her mother. In truth, she did not want to see her at the moment.
"Utau, that's not – " she began to say desperately, moving towards Utau. When she reached out to embrace her daughter, Utau slapped her hands away abruptly and glared at her, angry tears welling in her eyes.
"Lies! I don't want to hear anymore of your lies! You're just a selfish and greedy woman who only cares about her own happiness!" she shouted and pushed Souko away gruffly. Kazuomi then came forward swiftly and slapped Utau painfully on her left cheek.
"How dare you speak to your own mother like that!" he said in the same angry tone as her. Utau kept her face turned away and she lightly touched her reddening cheek. She looked up and pointedly glared at both of them with a cut on her lip which was beginning to bleed.
Souko moved to examine her but Kazuomi held her back with a grip of steel, his anger boiling beyond control now. Both of them glared at each other until Utau covered her face with one of her hands. When she pulled her hand away, she gave a menacing and slightly frenzied laugh.
When she raised her eyes to Kazuomi once more, he saw an unnervingly calm expression diffused across her face. It's calmness was almost sardonic and Kazuomi was momentarily confused until Utau spoke again.
"How dare I? How dare I you ask?" she repeated in a mocking tone. Kazuomi's expression became agitated but at the same time disturbed at the sudden change in Utau's countenance.
"Hoshina Utau, I order you – " he began to say but Utau cut him off easily.
"Silence!" she said in a more commanding tone than Kazuomi and he was indeed silenced at the force in Utau's voice. He pulled Souko closer to him as Utau took a step forward in their direction.
"How dare I, he asks…" she repeated one more time with an uncharacteristic laugh. She then looked at them with an expression Souko had never seen on her daughter.
It was an expression of utter indifference; there was no life behind her usually smoldering violet orbs and her face looked like a corpse's – still and unchanging. It was the kind of look you gave to insignificant insects you wanted to eradicate.
Kazuomi seemed to have noticed the same thing for he stood right in front of Souko and hid her behind him, gripping her hand tightly. At that moment, Hoshina Utau looked absolutely frightening and dangerous to the two of them.
"Rather," she began to speak once more, taking another step forward. "How dare you, Uncle. You took advantage of my Father's absence to make your claim on my Mother and on the Throne. Have you no shame? You took your own brother's consort as your own simply because he was not around. The throne I can consent to you taking, because it is for the best interests of the country, but – for you to want my Mother too is just immoral. Because my mother was wounded, desperate and lonely, you chose that instant to make her fall for you to satisfy the unrequited love you always possessed for her; you took advantage of her vulnerability for your own interests, for that, you are the same as the scum that live on the roadsides and steal from passerby. I cannot forgive you for that nor can I ever bring myself to call to consider you my Father." She said frankly without any emotion in her voice.
There was no anger, hatred or disgust… the silent contempt she had was far greater and far heavier than any of those. Kazuomi's lips were pressed into a straight line and he say nothing in reply to her words. There was one thing that was certain, this was the result of the sin he committed. Utau had become like this because of him and he truly felt the weight of his sin.
"Utau…" Souko said as she moved in front of Kazuomi with a bit of effort, struggling against his grip on her. Her eyes were beseeching her to listen to her but it seemed to have no effect on Utau. She did not wish to listen to what they had to say, she had already suffered enough from their lies.
"Ah yes, Mother. I have not forgotten about you," she said as she moved her gaze from Kazuomi's face to Souko's. Souko looked hopeful as she took a tentative step towards Utau. Her hope dissipated immediately when Utau spoke once more.
"I despise you just as much as I despise Kazuomi, Mother." She said flatly, the same as before, without any evident emotion in her voice. Every day since Kazuomi had been crowned Emperor, she had wished she could say all of these words and now she was doing it – and it did not remove the ache inside her chest.
"When Father left, you mourned and suffered but – it was short-lived Mother. Before I knew it, you were together with that man," she said with a brief callous glance at Kazuomi. "You suddenly decided that we were going to be one big happy family together with him and Tadase. You had me change my name from Tsukiyomi to Hoshina. You made it seem like Kazuomi acting like my father was the most natural thing in the world. You decided everything to benefit only yourself and that man – no care whatsoever about me or Ikuto's feelings. You expect us to play along unconditionally to your stupid little fairy tale – and I absolutely loathe and scorn you for it, Mother. Tadase isn't happy even if he pretends to be, Ikuto isn't happy even if he acts like he doesn't care, and I… I can never be happy – the only ones that are happy the ways things are you two. How could you mother? Falling in love with the one person your best friend adored, how do you think Tadase feels knowing his father replaced his mother for you so easily? Mother, no… Hoshina Souko. Do you understand anything or perceive anything else other than yourself? You probably don't since you insist on living in that unrealistic bubble you call your life. You aren't my Mother because as far as I'm concerned, my Mother only had one man in her life – and that man was Tsukiyomi Aruto."
At Utau's words, tears welled up in Souko's eyes and there was sheer guilt and remorse in them. Utau felt a bit satisfied at the reaction she had caused out of her mother and Kazuomi. Did she feel guilty hurting Souko like this? That was absurd – she wouldn't feel guilty, she had only said what they deserved to hear. She had only told them the truth and it was up to them whether they were going to be hurt by it. She hoped they did – so they would understand even a morsel of the misery she felt.
She moved to stand in front of both of them. Souko and Kazuomi were silent at her approach, both of their eyes were not looking at her directly – maybe she was too painful to look, if so, she would use it to her advantage. When she was within a foot of them, the two of them flinched when she leaned down to look into their conflicted eyes. When she saw the pain similar to her own she gave a twisted smile fo her own.
Souko was frightened at the depth of her daughter's eyes. Why was it that she had only seen this now? Her bright and shining violet eyes had gone so dull, so murky and so endlessly deep. Was this tormented soul really her Utau?
What had she done?
Souko thought desperately as she continued to look into Utau's eyes. Utau was still the one who spoke, "Both of you are appalling and disgraceful." She whispered malevolently before she turned around and began to walk towards the exit.
"Congratulations," she said as she glanced back at the two of them. "You two are perfect for each other. And Souko? The betrayal you felt when Father left was nothing compared to the betrayal I felt when you chose that man over him." She said, still with the same indifference as before.
And she left two people in that large room – full of self-disgust and self-loathing and also, maybe a bit broken too.
-OoO-
"It seems both of you took quite a beating. That girl really knows how to use harsh words." Tsukasa said quietly as he appeared from behind the large golden throne.
Souko's legs buckled and she fell to the floor. Kazuomi quickly kneeled beside her and pulled her into his arms. Souko burst into tears and wrapped her arms around Kazuomi tightly.
"I must be such a horrible mother." She sobbed, her voice muffled but still understandable. Kazuomi tried to shush her but even he felt like he would cry soon.
That was Utau. The sweet niece he had always given piggybacks to when she was a child. She always sang for him with the brightest smile and the most entrancing eyes – Souko's eyes. But what had he done to her? Who was that person that just quitted the room? Was it really… Utau?
"No, that's not true. You're a wonderful mother, a great consort and the kindest and most beautiful woman I've ever known. If one of us had to take the brunt of Utau's hatred, it would most definitely be me. It's my entire fault she ended up like that." Kazuomi said reassuringly with pain and guilt evident in his eyes. If there was anyone to blame for what she had become it would be him.
"I never knew Kazuomi… I never knew how much anguish and distress she was going through! I'm her mother! I was supposed to know!" she cried helplessly, her voice filled with self-contempt as tears continued to flow out of her eyes. She pounded her fists against the floor and Kazuomi restrained her arms and she demanded him to let go.
Kazuomi looked pleadingly at Tsukasa and Tsukasa nodded, giving him a look that said let her bring it all out. I'll come up with a back-up plan for the Minister immediately.
Kazuomi mouthed the words Thank you before he returned to comforting Souko who was near hysterics already. Tsukasa left the room as quietly as possible and entered the hall with a very vexed but understanding smile.
He could not put anything against Utau. As he expected, she would be the one who would wound them the deepest since she was the one who had suffered the most from their actions. He supposed that they deserved what they got and felt little pity for both of them when Utau had lashed out at them mercilessly. He too after all, had resented them for dismissing his sister's death as nothing special – but maybe now it wasn't as bad as before, after he had seen them suffer at their daughter's hands.
He began to think of a plan as he promised Kazuomi, a very satisfied smile plastered across his face. He would be loyal to the country, but nobody said he should be loyal to Kazuomi completely.
-OoO-
When Utau returned to the Manor, Amu was there to greet her upon her entry.
"Welcome back Hime-sama." She greeted politely with a bow. Utau brushed past her without a word and proceeded to her room saying before she entered the Princess's Hall, "Do not bother to summon me for dinner. I have no wish to eat anything tonight."
"Understood." Amu replied loud enough for her to hear.
When she entered her room, she hastily slid the door shut and leaned against the door with her eyes closed. "I refuse to be engaged to someone I have never even met before." She mumbled decisively. She slid to the floor and wrapped her arms around her raised legs. She rested her forehead against her knees and vulnerably let the tears fall from her eyes onto her robe. Seeing the damp patches on her robe made her all the more frustrated.
She forced her tears to stop but her efforts were all in vain; she had let finally let out all the anger she had kept bottled up all this time and apparently all the tears she had held back wanted to be released too.
Isn't sad when there's no one to comfort you when you cry?
Kukai's words suddenly resounded in her head and she bit her lip as she remembered her meeting with the auburn-haired boy. It was only then that she did his words justice. She felt so alone and so close to breaking at that moment. She had poured out all the hatred she used to keep herself together and now she felt like she was going to break apart into little pieces any moment.
She felt so tired – so tired of being miserable, so tired of being rejected, so tired of being unloved and so tired of being alone. She could only hate – and it was the only thing that kept her sane. Now that she had let all her hatred out, she felt emptier than she had been before.
She understood why – it was because she had nothing.
If she had nobody to hate – what else did she have? A father who left her when she was still a kid, a brother who didn't care about her, a mother who she decided did not exist anymore and a stupid title that seemed almost like a curse instead of a blessing. It was the same as having nothing.
When she had thought about simply killing herself, there was a knock on her door and she gritted her teeth. Her aide was such a useless twit, she told her she didn't want to eat.
"Hime-sama. I brought you tea. I know you're tired; the tea will help you relax and sleep easier tonight. I understand that you don't want to eat so I brought you tea for your health. Please drink it and leave the cup and tray outside when you are finished. That's all. Please excuse me." She said gently and Utau heard her receding footsteps.
When it was completely silent, she opened her door slightly and saw the tray with a cup of steaming tea. She pulled the tray inside her room and picked up the cup, she was surprised to find that there was a note together with it and it said;
I do hope you feel better tomorrow – being depressed just doesn't suit you, Princess.
Utau reread the words in the neat writing a few more times before breaking out into a fit of giggles. It was a few minutes before it finally subsided and Utau wiped away the tears in her eyes – they weren't tears of anguish anymore. It was strange – she never knew she could cry from laughing so hard.
So she still had something else after all…
A nosy but tactful aide. With a cup of tea and a simple note, she had dissipated the dark cloud that was suffocating her instantly. Maybe Hinamori Amu was some kind of protective charm; she laughed and smiled at the thought of it.
She took a sip of the wonderfully smelling tea and savored the feeling of warmth spreading in her body. She had to admit, this was the best tea she had tasted in a long time. She would allow Hinamori Amu a bit of credit for her tea – maybe she would keep her just a bit longer than the rest she had chased off. She set down the cup of tea and looked out the window.
As she stared out her open window Utau wished she could just sleep so didn't have to feel any of those awful things anymore. She wished she could just close her eyes and forget about everything. Too bad, life wasn't so kind as to grant her wish –but she was given a momentary reprieve as she closed her eys and fell into a deep slumber with a small smile on her lips.
-OoO-
"Seem like she isn't coming tonight, Kukai." Daiichi said lazily as he sat comfortably on Kukai's shoulder.
Kukai was leaning against the tree trunk one of the tallest trees in the Palace. He frequently rested at the very top when he was on duty. Kukai's eyes were closed and his breathing was steady and effortless. It was essential to keep your concentration whenever you scanned the area, tonight though he didn't feel the aura of the girl in the temple anymore.
Yesterday he had seen the pretty girl from the night before enter the temple and leaving only when it was about to be sunrise. He had thought she was expecting him to come again but he had chosen not to show himself to her anymore, she had already found out too much about him – not to mention the fact that he hardly knew anything about her. He didn't even know her name, maybe that was for the best though. He wouldn't want to be unconsciously looking for her.
"Hmm, maybe she wasn't waiting for you after all, yesterday." Daiichi concluded as he rose and floated by Kukai's face. Kukai opened his eyes slowly and gave a brief glance at the Temple where they had first met the beautiful blond haired girl. He had no idea why she had run away before and he knew it would be awkward if she tried to find him again.
"Well, it's not like I want her to wait for me anyway. Father said to keep my job a secret as much as possible so it would be best if I never meet that girl ever again." Kukai said flatly, remembering the weight of his duty to the Souma family. He wanted to know more about the violet-eyed girl but his duty always came first over all else.
Daiichi looked shocked at his reply, "No way! You sounded serious just now!" Daiichi said disbelievingly and Kukai flicked his nose with his finger and Daiichi rubbed it with hand.
"That hurt!" he complained and floated out of arm's reach to be sure. He pouted, but Kukai looked unaffected.
"I'm always serious. If I don't do my best my older brothers will kill me and serve me to the beggars on our side of the country." Kukai said with a small frown as he began to stand up. He glanced back at the temple and prayed that the girl wouldn't get herself into any trouble. Most of him wished their paths would never cross again but a small part of him couldn't help but want to meet her again.
He gave a heavy sigh and ran a hand through his hair. He would just have to leave it up to fate then.
"Kukai?" Daiichi asked curiously as he floated in front of his face. Kukai shook his head slowly and pushed the girl out his mind, swearing to himself not to ever let her distract him from his job again. He looked at Daiichi and gave his signature smile.
"Should we go another round before we head back? Father asked me to rest early for some reason and he didn't bother explaining when I asked him about it. So might as well get this over with quickly." He said as he jumped down from branch to branch expertly with practiced ease.
"You're really not going to see her anymore, Kukai?" Daiichi asked as they landed at the base of the tree. The little boy glanced back at the direction of the temple with a wistful smile on his face. "I wanted to be friends with her even if she did look like she wanted to eat me."
"Yeah. Sure I'm interested in her but like I said, it's best not to meet her ever again – and she didn't want to eat you, nothing would want to eat you, you probably taste weird. " he added teasingly.
"Hey!"
"Joking, joking." Kukai replied, easily avoiding the flying kicked aimed at him. Daiichi huffed and attacked one more time, missing again obviously before giving up with a huff.
"You won't see her even if she waits for you every night?" he asked curiously, tilting his head to one side.
"Even if she waits, I won't come." He said decisively breaking into a run, away from the temple. Away from the girl who caught his attention – whoever she was, he wished it wasn't fate for them to meet again.
-OoO-
Notes:
*Aki Megami Matsuri – Autumn Goddess Festival, which I'm going to put as September 27 since I'm not really sure when Ikuto's birthday is so I'm just putting mine for the heck of it. ;D
*Teikoku no Matsuri – Imperial Festival, I'm not sure I got the Japanese translation right since I just used a crappy and severely lacking English-Japanese dictionary. If I'm wrong please correct me. -.-
*Ie Atsumarimasu – House Gathering, I'm not sure my translation is right here either because like I said... -.-
Endnote: I am truly sorry for not updating for such a long time again :. My schedule was completely botched up when school started again so after a nice leisure stress relieving hour of coloring in coloring books I finally got Kio off my back and Mio to stop nagging me. :D so tell me if the chapter's not good enough okay? I know it may not be as uber long as the other one but I suppose it would be worse if I only did 1000 – 1500 words max. Anyway, comments, suggestions, nagging, rambling, flames and cheesecakes or Senbei for Rio are, very much welcomed. Oh dear, now that I read it a few times over I realize that the story's gotten a bit dark and angsty in this chapter – tell me if it's too much for you guys so I can tone it down okay?
This chapter is dedicated to AmutoForever who gave me that wonderfully rambly and somewhat long review which is just the kind of review I hope to receive from you readers. I'm so flattered that you think my story deserves more readers or reviewers but honestly, I'm happy enough having all you lovely people and you, I like very very much now. I'd also love to read more of your comments on my plotline, they make Mio meditate and make an effort to make it better. :))
Oh yes, thank you to Foxgrl18 again for correcting me on the name of Utau's mother. I always assumed it was Shouko, well, apparently I was wrong so if there's anything else you guys think I mistook for something else then feel free to tell it to me – in a review of course. ;pp haha. Oh yeah, what are Souko's eyes? are they violet like Utau? I assumed Ikuto looked exactly like his Dad and that Utau looked mostly like her mom so I just typed in the chapter that Souko had the same eyes as Utau. Correct me if I'm wrong, ne?
P.S. Anyway, try to nag me as much as possible so I'll churn out those chapters faster, I'll make sure to buy more coloring books just so I can get the mindset to write for you guys. I'd love it if you gave me long reviews – or just cheesecake and Senbei for Rio, either one will make me or Rio the happiest bunnies in the whole world, haha. XD
Well, Ciao! Till next time, my beloved readers. :