Author's Notes: I'm so sorry everyone that I've been gone for like a month, but I promise you I've been working on this the entire time I was on the computer! I hope that this chapter lives up to the expectations of everyone and was hopefully worth the wait—this chapter changed ENTIRELY from the rough draft I made when I first conceived the idea of the story. In some ways, it changed for the better.
The reason for my absence was because I had been in and out of the doctor and I've been very ill lately with pains, sickness, you name it. A lot of things have been happening recently, including finals and the 'big' test every school has each year (I can only assume) and it's been hectic.
Also, concerning the poll on my profile, the results are in—you'll kill me if I don't write "My Fandom," a one-shot about how the staff of Sacred Heart would react if they (JD mainly) came across . o.0 Since I don't want to die, I guess I AM going to write it, but it'll be a while before I actually get started. I'm going to plot it out onto paper and work with it, and I'm going to rest some because I have been writing non-stop while I have been on the computer. X_x;; After it's submitted, I'm going to take a break and maybe brainstorm some with ideas (most likely rough ideas from dreams and song inspirations), and hopefully improve my writing. That's why I encourage everyone to critique me at the very least—it's really helped me improve so far, and I thank all of you so for that!
Also, I want to shout out to Bells of Tomorrow— you're one of my inspirations. Thank you so much, I don't think I'd ever get back to writing fanfiction, especially in the Scrubs category if it weren't for you and your awesome stories. So original, so creative. *cries* Thank you!
Everyone, please enjoy the last chapter and thank you all SO much for reading. :D
"How much blood loss was there?"
"There was a significant amount, enough to keep her in the ICU for a few days maybe."
My head ached...
"She's seems alert."
Those voices …where was I?
"Elliot, can you hear me? Elliot?"
Carla…?
"Elliot, if you can hear us, move something,"
JD? Alright…I moved my fingers.
"Good, she is alert," the voice from above exhaled in relief.
Turk? Am I at the hospital?
"Carla, go check on Jordan, will you?"
"Yeah, okay. See you guys later," she exhaled hastily in a somber tone as I heard her run off.
Jordan? Wait—where's Dr. Cox?
"Elliot, we'll make sure you're alright, okay? Hang in there for us."
I was trying, JD, really, I was, but…what happened?
"She's lucky she's not dead," sighed Turk.
What do you mean 'dead'?
"Yeah, I guess it was just lucky that Dr. Cox was there…," JD's voice broke, choking slightly.
Dr. Cox…
Oh, right.
I remembered.
Brian—I mean, Michael. Why did it take so long for me to remember? Dr. Cox…he tried to save me. Michael stabbed me…Dr. Cox tried to rescue me…they both had guns, aiming at one another. Then it was blank…nothing, I couldn't remember anything after that...I must have passed out.
Oh, God. Dr. Cox…
It took all the strength I had left in me to find out what happened. I asked, almost inaudibly and weak, "W…where is…Dr….C-Cox?" The pain alone ended the sentence as I shuttered slightly, my stomach in infuriating pain.
Thankfully, they took notice to the fact that I was attempting to open my eyes after I spoke.
JD turned around from my chart and looked at me in almost a lost sense of hope, his eyes full of unshed tears as he garbled out, "Elliot…you need to rest."
Turk looked at JD and gulped, "He's here Elliot, don't worry…," he mumbled out. "I guess I'll go check on him."
JD acknowledged him and nodded, immediately turning back towards me, absolutely fixated on my injuries. "Don't worry Elliot, you'll be fine," he said softly in a heartbreaking voice as he began walking away.
What was up with them? They almost acted like…
"Dr. Cox…," I whispered painfully as I began to drift off once again.
The sounds of the springtime surrounded me and I began to open my eyes. I could hear many, many wonderful sounds all around. From the looks of it, I was by some sort of lake in mid-spring. An ethereal glow surrounded the lake and the field of flowers across from me as I stood beneath a blossoming willow. I felt no pain in that place, nor did I feel any hate. It was calming, the trees swaying to and fro as the wind picked up, the birds chirping, singing me sweet songs that I could have practically sung to. Everything here made me want to stay and never leave.
But I couldn't do that.
I remembered I needed to find Dr. Cox, wherever he may have been, to see if he was safe… if he was alive.
I began wandering around the vast landscape, calling out his name, hoping that he would hear me. I needed to find him. I needed to know what happened, and thank him for everything, and to apologize for being so moronic—I should have known better.
Suddenly before my very eyes, the bright and euphoric landscape turned into a gloomy, dead scene, just like from a horror movie. The sky faded to a dreary red shade with gray clouds that loomed overhead, the water dried up and the beautiful flowers withered as the trees became lifeless and hollowed away. My heart began to race as a very miserable and unnerving feeling overwhelmed me, agony overtaking my nerves. Then, I heard a soft, almost inaudible whisper pulsate across the fields and it began overtaking me.
"Elliot, wake up."
The voice…it…
"Wake up."
It was Dr. Cox's.
I woke up, my head facing directly upwards at the ceiling tile and the light that glared on me caused me to squint. I quickly rolled my head over next to me to confirm the voice, but I was sorely disappointed to see that it was not Dr. Cox waking me from my nightmare, but instead I found Carla hovering above me.
In a painful attempt at trying to say something, Carla had stopped me. "Elliot, don't use up your energy. Just listen," she began gravely.
"Elliot…I'm sorry that I didn't see all the warning signs there like JD and Dr. Cox did…," she broke into tears, "I was so damn busy with work that I let my rational side take over because I didn't want to believe it, either! I know—I know we couldn't have really known, but I saw that bruise too, Elliot—I saw that bruise, and why I didn't take any action is beyond me! You know how I am—you know that, but I didn't! I didn't even care to ask, and Elliot, I'm sorry! I'm sorry that this had to happen to you and Dr. Cox, and I wish I could just take it all back and redo it but I can't, and I hate myself for that! I hate myself that you and Dr. Cox had to get hurt! I know…I know that I'm probably getting ridiculously upset over this, but Elliot, I feel responsible because I saw what he did to you! JD told me what you said really happened and I…I died inside, because I thought…I thought if you were to die, I don't think I could ever forgive myself! I don't know what was wrong with me, I really, really don't…Elliot, please forgive me for being so naïve and selfish…I'm sorry."
Through that entire tearful speech, I doubt that I blinked. I wanted to so much to tell her that it wasn't her fault and that it was mine but I really had no energy to, and that pissed me off. I couldn't shoot her down for saying those things…I didn't want her to live with guilt she shouldn't even have! I already knew she was swamped with work, and I didn't mind her unusual moods, but her blaming work for her absent maternal instincts was over the line for me, considering the circumstances, anyway.
After Carla regained control of herself, she hugged me and told me that I would pull through this and she'd be back later and that she was going to check on Dr. Cox.
That made me relieved because I knew he was still alive. Hurt, but still alive, and I only hoped he wasn't worse off than I was…otherwise…
The moment Carla left the room, Turk walked in with a look of distraught upon his face. "Hey Elliot," he greeted softly. He took the seat next to mine and sat down slowly, and began to nuzzle his head into the palm of his hands and sighed repeatedly. "What a sick bastard…," he began after a very uncomfortable silence. "Elliot, that's horrible what happened to the two of you…I'm really sorry. You know if I could have been there for you, I would've, you know that, right?"
I glanced over at him in confirmation, because I knew in my heart that they would all have been there if they were able to be.
"You know, not a lot of people could live through situations like that. Then again, you are Elliot Reid…," he trailed off, but almost immediately he began to chuckle lightly, "you have the worst luck of anyone I know!"
I smiled lightly, because it was true—I really did have some of the most unluckiest things happen to me in my life, from my childhood to college, to my days after college and then to working at Sacred Heart—there was always bad luck waiting for me around the corner.
"I say you'll be out of work for at least a month of recovery, probably longer," he stated. Turk and I really didn't talk all that well, but I could tell he was trying to make conversation.
"Yeah…I really don't know what to say, because if I keep saying sorry, I'm going to feel like a broken record if I do. I hope you recover fast and I guess I'll check on you later," he ended as he leaned over and hugged me, and then began walking away.
As I saw Turk exit the door, oddly enough, I already felt somewhat better emotionally. I liked that someone was at least talking to me.
Then I got the biggest surprise of my life—Kelso walked in not long after Turk left.
I'm sure he was disappointed that he lost one of his workers temporarily (hopefully not permanently), but I didn't really care. I just didn't want to be alone anymore.
"Dr. Reid," he began softly as he sat down.
I glanced over at him, watching as he tried to summon the words to say.
"There are terrible people out there and I'm sorry that you had the chance to meet one of them and end up like you did, but you're lucky. There could have been long term injuries, it could have been fatal, but it didn't turn out that way, now did it? I'm impressed, really. Impressed with Perry—impressed with you. I'm surprised, too. Needless to say I didn't expect him to run mindlessly into the middle of danger like that for anyone really. But, at the same time, it doesn't surprise me either—he's always been a big pansy, and deep down he really does care about other people. That's one of the reasons why I respect him as a person, hell, as a doctor, even though he constantly hands my ass over to me time after time again. I honestly expected in a situation like the one that occurred last night he'd only do something that extreme for Dr. Dorian, certainly not for you. That's what surprised me the most. Maybe I'm wrong about Perry…but it's amazing the both of you are alive right now, even though he's in somewhat of a more critical condition than you are. But I wouldn't worry about it, the sad fact of the matter is he'll never die as long as I'm alive and running this hospital. I mean, who would keep me in line and kick my ass around this place when I screw up or when I'm not thinking clearly?"
I couldn't believe the words that came out of Kelso's mouth. It was pure, genuine concern over me. To see that softer and sincere side of him was almost breathtaking, and I was sure it would most likely never happen again, at least not during work. Kelso's soft voice and expression seemed calming, but the fact that he said that Dr. Cox was worse off than I was worried me, and I think he could sense it.
"I wouldn't worry about Perry. Now, you get plenty of rest, you're going to need it," he said as he began getting up whilst smiling.
Of course, I wasn't getting away with the recent shift-switching I had been doing.
Kelso leaned over next to my ear and began softly but in a serious manner, "When you come back to work, you better expect to make up those hours you blew off for Murder, He Wrote."
I smiled hopelessly and looked at him, the both of us exchanging a friendly expression. "Take care and I'll see you at work ASAP," he said as he began walking off.
I seemed to sink deeper into the bed as I realized I would be working myself to death over nothing. All that time I spent with Brian and to end up like this—frick! I was so dangerously close to giving up guys all together that it wasn't funny!
Life sucks, life sucks, I hate my life, I hate my life…frick, frick on a fricking stick—FRICK!
Snapping out from my self-loathing, suddenly and to my surprise, the Janitor bashfully walked in and I smiled.
"Elliot," he stated as he nodded shyly. I could tell he wasn't good at being sincere and comforting in the way he needed to be, but he actually seemed genuinely worried about me—how sweet!
He stood there in complete and utter anger as he gripped the broom he was currently holding in his hands tightly and furrowed his brow. "I know that there aren't a lot of things I can say to make you feel better, but…I'm real sorry that this happened to you, Elliot. When I heard what happened last night, I got scared," he looked down and loosened his tone and expression and chuckled lightly, "yeah, I know, that sounds really weird, right?"
"I felt like I couldn't do a damn thing to help you, and you were always so nice to me, you know? I mean, I had a few ideas involving an army of ninja squirrels and a gas tank for revenge, but I couldn't exactly put them into effect, and Troy was off today so the gas tank bit was out of the question."
"Anyways—I'm sorry. If I knew where the guy was, I wouldn't hesitate to shove this broom right up his skinny white ass, but I don't know where he is," he sighed, then lying the broom against the wall as he bent over and began to pull out something from a white plastic bag lying on the floor, along with several others lined up next to his, and he smiled as he unraveled it. "I was going to give you one of my army of stuffed raccoons, but I got this for you instead because the black surgeon said it would, quote, 'creep you out', unquote," he chuckled and saw my stare of confusion and smirked, "yeah, that's what I thought, too…'creep you out'…please," he mocked, and suddenly the gift became visible in his hands.
My eyes fluttered and a smile stretched across my face when I saw a very cute and adorable teddy bear with ribbons and a little peach dress being handed over to me. I could barely move my body from it being so sore, so the Janitor placed the bear next to my head and he blushed slightly. "I know it's a little corny, but what the hell, right?"
I was so utterly and completely overjoyed with gratitude and kindness that I said, despite the aching, "I…love it, Janitor…thank…you."
He patted me on the shoulder and smiled, "Hey, don't try to talk now, alright? Just enjoy the silent company of Pepper," he paused briefly, "yeah, I named her. Hope that's alright with you," he stated sincerely.
I nodded whilst smiling and rested my head up against Pepper. To know that there were people here that cared about me this much, including the Janitor, was certainly the jaw dropper for me. I felt such a warm and intense feeling in my heart that I actually started to swell up a little.
This, unfortunately, surprised the Janitor in a negative way. His expression became fairly frantic as he uttered, "What? Is something wrong with Pepper? 'Cause I can, you know, take her back and—"
"Janitor!" I exclaimed weakly as my throat throbbed in pain. I looked up at him in bliss and happiness as I cuddled the bear further to show him that I thought this was the perfect gift. "Thank you…," I mumbled out dryly.
The Janitor smiled and blushed even more so than before. "Well, I guess that's it for me then. I better get back to 'work'," he joked as he stepped back and nodded at me. "Take care."
I smiled at him and mouthed 'goodbye' and later was finally able to turn my body on its side as my face rested against Pepper. I was so worn out again that I found myself drifting back into slumber.
I was standing on a pier with an umbrella in hand. Beyond the horizon I could see the sun setting amongst rain clouds scattered across the distance. The sun just faintly shone through them. I looked down and noticed that the wood was wet and the sea was becoming calmer by the second. I took a deep breath and blinked.
I was dreaming again.
I looked around and behind me, and the pier was…in the middle of the sea. The sea stretched back so far into the distance that I couldn't see any sign of land within eyeshot.
The wind whipped at my hair and sent a gentle chill down my spine as I used my free hand to grip the wooden rail in front of me. I swallowed hard.
Why was I there?
I felt an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. The roaring waves of the sea from the recent storm seemed to make me feel almost nauseous. I couldn't hear a single thing other than waves crashing against the pier.
It was too quiet.
There were no seagulls. There weren't any boats to be found. No people around. There was nothing but me and this pier in the middle of the sea.
Suddenly I felt a chill run down my spine. I couldn't move as I heard someone approaching me from behind.
Without looking, I could feel them leaning gently against my right ear as they began to speak in a soft but rough, baritone voice.
"My sea is deeper than your lake."
I immediately sprung up while gasping after my shocking dream and quickly fell back into my bed in stabbing, agonizing pain.
Oh, right—my stomach.
"Elliot!" a voice from beyond the door called out frantically.
Making their way in sight, I realized it was JD who I heard and he alone. No one was out in the hall except for him.
"Elliot, are you okay? I heard you screaming," he asked anxiously as he quickly held onto my bedside.
Still in searing pain, I nodded. "Bad dream…," I stumbled out weakly.
JD looked at me and nodded. "I'm going to increase your morphine drip, alright? Hopefully you'll be talking better later. Now, get some rest and don't make any sudden movements, you're pretty banged up, aside from what was a gaping hole in the middle of your abdomen…," he stated as he looked downward, intentionally away from any eye contact between the two of us. "Turk did your stitches, by the way, and it went well," he said, coming to a slight pause as he looked up at Pepper, "hey, who gave you that bear?"
Involuntarily, I began to smile, and I nuzzled my head closer to Pepper. "Janitor," I uttered feebly.
JD furrowed his brow in bewilderment and tilted his head sideways, entering into another one of his fantasies. He obviously wasn't going to respond to that; he was too busy thinking about stupid reasons of why the Janitor was a horrible person. What kind of a horrible person gives a gift, something that's totally outside of their comfort zone, to someone they hardly knew?
"H-How's Dr. Cox?" I slurred out softly. I needed to know what his condition was…
Somehow, I broke JD out of his own imagination and was met with stillness and a gaze of dread. "I'm going to check on him now," he uttered out lifelessly.
In what almost seemed like a haze, JD walked off quickly without even saying goodbye to me. What was that all about?
Most importantly, what the hell was up with everyone avoiding giving me any straight answers?
Exhaustively and hopelessly, I nestled my head into Pepper's and attempted yet again turning over on my side. By the time I actually got into a comfortable position, I was in such pain that I became completely worn out. I snuggled Pepper closer to my face and began to cry silently to myself.
Was Dr. Cox going to die?
God, I'm so tired…maybe if I just rest my eyes for a little bit…
"Crying doesn't look good on you, you know."
Opening my eyes slowly, I could see Dr. Cox standing in front of my bed with a kind grin stretched across his face.
Yes! He was alive!
"Dr. Cox!" I shouted painfully in delight. I gasped a little and uttered, "How…how long were you standing there?"
He smiled faintly back at me and chuckled, "Just got here, princess."
I smiled back at him, but I then noticed he was clutching his side. "Dr. Cox…!"
He seethed in pain as he struggled taking a few steps forward to sit in the chair next to my bed. He was wearing regular clothing with one of his tight shirts, and I was able to see the bandages wrapped around his thick abdomen.
"Don't worry about me, there, Bar—I mean Elliot, I'll be fine," he corrected himself in a manner that not only surprised but also shocked me.
He's calling me by my name now?
I stared at him in shock and confusion as I began to speak, "Who—"
"Who are you and what have you done with Dr. Cox?" he mimicked what I was about to say, but in an overwhelmingly friendly demeanor that made me almost wished he was insulting me like normal.
Was I that predictable?
"Dr. Cox, I just wanted to say that I—"
"Don't apologize for something that was my fault," he stated in a slightly more somber tone of voice.
"Dr. Cox, it wasn't your fault! I'm the one that believed he was this prince charming that could ride me off to some magical land of my hopes and dreams! I was lonely and desperate and I really needed someone like that. Besides, I'm the one that was stupid enough to go gallivanting in the middle of the night looking for him when he was just planning to kill me all along," I declared firmly as my eyes met his.
Suddenly, I realized something. I didn't feel any pain anymore. The morphine must have finally kicked in.
Looking at me, he nodded his head and smiled lightly. "No. No, that's not it. You couldn't have known. He had everyone fooled. He may have had me fooled to a certain degree, but damn it all, I should've known the moment everything began piecing together, that it was more than just a few coincidences…"
I knew it was no use arguing with him, and we both made our points, so there was no sense in letting it persist onward. "Let's agree to agree that no matter what either one of us had done, he was going to try to kill me anyway," I stated in a mumble.
Immediately as I said that, Dr. Cox avowed, "You weren't supposed to die last night. You weren't," he mumbled to himself, intentionally loud enough for me to hear.
"Huh?"
"I don't guess I'll ever know if it was some greater power or whatever that led me to you, but I'd like to think that last night was the turning point for something, that you weren't supposed to die, because honestly, I haven't felt the same since I pulled that trigger, Elliot. I haven't. It was basically a one in a million chance I'd find you alive in time to save you and actually end up doing so in the process. I was so guilt driven yesterday that it was unbearable. I have never felt those emotions so strongly before, and it was because I knew that your death would be on my shoulders, whether it was viewed as my fault in someone else's eyes or not, your death would not have left my conscience—ever. "
"I didn't understand why I was fueled only by anger and guilt to begin with," he paused, and his gaze became fixated on mine, "I didn't understand it until I finally realized that…that I actually cared about you more than just another person or colleague."
I gawked at him in a daze of bewilderment as he finished, "I cared about you as a daughter," he proclaimed, swallowing my piercing gaze of disorientation as I sunk myself deep into my pillow and grabbed Pepper, clutching her to my side.
I was left so speechless by him pouring out his soul to someone—no, me, that it caused me to start crying again, and he didn't like that.
He cringed and begged, "Please, don't cry, alright? This is hard enough for me as it is…,"
I sniffed. "What happened after I passed out?" I choked out as I began wiping my eyes. I wanted to know…I wanted to know what happened.
Dr. Cox sighed, his expression so blank it was lifeless, and he swallowed hard. "He's dead," he mumbled out as he looked away from my gaze, "I killed him."
Suddenly, everything inside me felt like it was just ripped out by those few heartbreaking words. My head felt heavy and the tears continued to drop silently as I gasped almost inaudibly. "Oh," I whispered weakly as I snuggled my head into Pepper's dress.
I could feel all of Dr. Cox's emotions bursting out of him in that one sentiment and it took my breath away. I wish I could have just taken that all from him. None of this would have happened if—no. He would never have been harmed, but I on the other hand…that's another story. It was going to happen, whether I met him formally or not.
Somehow, it became apparent to me that Dr. Cox was not only acting unlike himself, but that he was letting me in, even if only for this moment in time. Killing a human by a medical mistake is one thing, but killing a human intentionally by your own hand…that's something else. That's something that leaves scars, and it never goes away.
He needed me. He was too proud to admit it, but he wanted me inside. He needed me to help him through that. He'd only open up to me, even if it's only because I went through this to, but it didn't matter at that point. He wanted me to understand, he just needed for me to know.
Then were those dreams…?
"I immediately collapsed to the ground and the police arrived after hearing the gunshots, but they found us in time," he said, still no longer looking my way and he remained in that same empty voice.
That was a miracle, and the law's timing was impressive.
"He was pronounced dead on the scene, and I urged them to treat you first."
There was a quiet intensity that enclosed the room for several moments before he spoke again. "I thought you were going to die," he breathed out.
He probably wasn't sure I had passed out or…
After several moments, I sighed, "I'm so sorry, Dr. Cox. I really am. That was the last thing in the world anyone would want to do, and there isn't really anything I can say to change things or make it any easier on you. All I can do is be there for you when you need me and try my best to, you know, repay you in any way possible. Dr. Cox, you saved my life. You took a life to save mine. I owe myself to you. I don't have enough gratitude to properly thank you with, and I probably never will, but I want you to know that you've…you've been like a father to me, too. Like when you supported my relationship with Jake in your own Coxian way, and Dr. Cox…you even took up for me when Kelso was riding me harder than usual, and you even knew what would happen if you clocked him like you did. You knew it. You were proud of me, weren't you?"
During my heartfelt speech, Dr. Cox managed to meet my gaze again. This time though, he was smiling. "I'm proud of you now, Elliot. I am."
I smiled back at him and cuddled against Pepper more. "Does this mean were friends?"
He chuckled lightly and replied in a semi-serious tone, "Yeah. We are—on two conditions," he suddenly paused, "I will still call you Blondie and Barbie during work, maybe drop in a few Dr. Reid's here and there, but under no circumstance will you allow anyone inside this dump to know that we are friends and that this conversation ever happened between us, you got that?"
I smiled hopelessly, "Got it." Honestly, it was actually more than I expected from him, and I was happy about that.
He grabbed the arms of the seat and pulled himself up while seething in pain. He looked back down at me and gave me a smile. "I better get going now," he stated casually.
Before he began walking off, he looked at me and grinned, "Do you…wanna grab a coffee when you get out or something…?"
"It's enough that you're trying to be nice, really, it's okay, you don't—"
"No, I insist. We'll head over to some Coffebucks after we get out, alright?"
I smiled bashfully. "Okay, sounds like a plan."
All I had to say was wow. I'm the one that owes him, not vice versa.
"Well, see ya."
He started walking away and actually made it to the door before I asked, "Wait! Are you coming back later? I don't want to be left alone that long..."
He turned around and smiled, "You'll never be alone. You're friends will come and visit you later."
I looked at him in a confusing manner and mumbled, "What…?"
He started to exit when he suddenly stopped and shot his head back around with his mouth slightly open. "Oh, and can you do me a favor?"
"Yeah?" I asked curiously.
"Wake up for me, will ya?"
Tears began to pour down my face as I shot my body forward.
No, that couldn't have been another dream, it just couldn't have! It was too real!
Breaking me from my chain of thoughts was Laverne passing by my door.
"LAVERNE!" I screamed out hoarsely without a second thought.
Luckily for me, I got her attention. Standing in the entrance of the door, she asked softly and despondently, "Is there something wrong, Dr. Reid?"
"When will I be able to talk with Dr. Cox?" I asked her frenetically.
She paused for a second and responded, "He coded nearly a minute ago. I'm so sorry, Dr. Reid…," she lamented, almost in tears.
No…
"NO! HE'S NOT DEAD! HE CAN'T BE DEAD!" I shouted as I disconnected myself from the monitors and the morphine.
Laverne quickly retaliated and yelled, "Dr. Reid! What in the hell do you think you are doing?"
Dr. Cox…
She tried to grab me as I hysterically screamed and pushed her away from me. Somehow, my thrust was so hard it managed to throw her onto the floor as I stumbled off in a fit of rage as I began exiting my room to track down Dr. Cox's room. I didn't have a single second to spare, and I didn't even try to rationalize with myself. All I wanted was to see Dr. Cox. I wanted to see him alive.
I staggered while clutching my stomach walking towards wherever my feet took me. My left foot flailed around as I carried myself further ahead. Sure enough, the crowd that was yards in front of me told me that this was indeed the room he was staying in, and only several feet away. I kept stumbling and forcing myself to run faster when Carla and Dr. Kelso saw me coming and I was afraid that they would try to stop me.
"DR. COX!" I screamed out in pain.
He couldn't be dead…
"Elliot…!" Carla gasped as I pushed my way through her and the other staff.
That's when I saw JD and a pair of defibrillators tossed across the room, him laying his head next to Dr. Cox's.
He just couldn't be.
I looked down at my stomach and saw my stitches were torn and I was pouring of blood. The scenario in front of me then caused me to faint once again.
When I woke up, I was greeted by many familiar faces. All of my friends and more were there.
That is, everyone but Dr. Cox.
"Elliot! What on earth were you thinking?" Carla scolded in a concerned and angry tone of voice.
"Is he dead?" I asked hazily, interrupting her attempt for an answer.
Carla brushed my hair behind my ear and smiled. "No honey," she paused, "JD brought him back," she answered sweetly and in relief.
"But…but I saw…"
"You saw JD crying—not in grief, but in relief. The other doctor's and I had given up on him after repeated attempts at defibrillating his heart back to normal rhythm. When he got there after being paged, he took the defibrillators and shocked him three times and we finally got a pulse," she paused after a mellow and gentle tone and ended, "JD saved his life, Elliot. He didn't give up on him, and it seems as though you weren't about to either."
I looked up at her in a daze as I rested my head further into my pillow, then closing my eyes and beginning to take it all in a breath.
Dr. Cox was alive.
"Don't try something that stupid again, alright, Elliot?" Turk stated firmly.
I nodded slowly as I scanned the room. "When can I see him?"
JD walked up behind Turk and Carla and he looked at me, this time with a little more life into his face. "When your stitches have time to heal, but until then you need plenty of bed rest. We'll get you a wheelchair, don't worry, okay?" he assured me kindly.
"Alright," I uttered, smiling dimly.
I was disappointed though, but I don't know why I bothered to ask because I already knew that. I just wanted to see him so bad…even if I can't tell him about my dream…
That's when it got me thinking.
What if the dream version of Dr. Cox isn't anything like the way the real Dr. Cox feels? Was it all just fabricated, not even some sort of prediction? I don't consider myself a believer in a lot of spiritual matters such as those, but I wanted to believe that somehow Dr. Cox and I were synced onto the same frequency the entire time, even though it mostly involved some pretty weird dreams.
Nonetheless, I just wanted to know if Dr. Cox still looked upon me as a daughter and not just a friend he cared about. It made me feel…special. That JD wasn't the only one that he revered as a 'child'. I may not have been his protégé, but I was something more. I was something special that he himself never really took the time to acknowledge and to fully understand.
I was his Barbie.
I finally understood why JD starved for his attention and respect. I wanted that, I wanted it so badly. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, but Dr. Cox has been there for me in his own weird way. He's looked over me. He never took any special interest with anyone other than JD, and he also seemed to actually give a crap about me at certain points, and that's not expected for anyone else.
Why me though? Was it because I was friends with JD?
"Why don't we let Elliot get some rest?" Carla stated as she faced the small crowd of people that hovered my bedside.
Dr. Kelso's smile stretched from ear to ear when he said, "I'll be sure to let Dr. Cox know as soon as he wakes up that you're all worried about him and let him know how heroic you all thought he was, I'm sure a nice ego boost would be enough to heal that cocky bastard," he said sarcastically.
Everyone smiled, because they all knew it was true. If he were to tell him that, he would probably gloat about it, but regret having killed Michael (if in fact he did). As for the dream version of Dr. Cox, I don't exactly see him gloating about anything, really. It was too early at that point to predict just what was exactly going on inside his head, but I could only hope for the latter.
I couldn't believe I was going to say this, but I only hoped that he returned back to 'normal', whatever the hell that was in his little world…and that he wouldn't suffer emotionally and mentally from that experience, because I know I'll probably be a little wary of boyfriends for a very, very long time…
ONE WEEK LATER
I roamed down the halls of Sacred Heart for the first time since being stabbed in the stomach and found it quite pleasant. My legs were still bruised up and my left foot was dislocated (and yet I was still able to drag myself where I needed to go prior to the diagnosis) from the fall off of the apartment steps, and that was another major reason I was put into a wheel chair.
Everyone greeted me and asked me how I was doing and complimented Pepper and her adorable dress as she sat upon my lap. Of course, I wasn't just roaming the halls for the hell of it. I was going to visit Dr. Cox for the first time in a week and check and see how he was doing and finally get to talk to him.
As I approached his room, I could hear his TV on, and of course, it was ESPN I could only assume. As I wheeled myself into the doorway, he was already well aware I was there.
"Barbo, I see you've healed up quite nicely," he greeted.
This made me smile uncontrollably as the thought my dream may have finally rung true.
"Hey, Dr. Cox! I'm doing great, still sore and in a little pain, but the medication is taking care of that. How are you doing?" I asked merrily.
He smiled softly at me and muted the TV. "I'm doing alright for a guy who got shot only inches away from his heart," he said sarcastically.
Come on, Elliot; ask him about the dream…
"When are you expected to return to work?"
"In a few more weeks, three at least."
Just say 'Dr. Cox, I had a few weird dreams involving you…' it's not that hard…
"That's good," I smiled. "How's Jordan taking this?"
"She's actually taking it better than I expected. I thought for sure she'd be upset about not being able to dip into my life insurance after they told her I would be fine," he stated absentmindedly as he seemed to be fixated on me.
Why won't you ask him?
Dr. Cox looked up at me oddly for a brief moment, then asking, "What's bothering you?"
Just ask him…
I smiled and tucked my hair back behind my ear and said, "Well, it's just, I had these really weird dreams the day I was admitted to the hospital and…this certain one really bugged me. Well, they all did, but the last one I had seemed very real, but of course it wasn't…," I ended without even finishing.
What was I doing?
"Oh, yeah, that reminds me—do you still want to grab that coffee when we get out of here?"
My eyes immediately grew wide and I began to stutter. "Uh—I gotta run to the bathroom, I'll catch you later…," I stated nervously as I quickly rolled my way out the door without looking back at him, even though I knew he was smirking.
I finally had my answer.
As I wheeled my way back to my room, I was lost in all sense of the word. My thoughts were cluttering together and I felt so lightheaded that I almost passed out.
He…he knew too? How was that humanly possible? We…did we have the same dream or…what?
Soon after asking those questions towards myself, a weight was instantly lifted off of my shoulders and I felt as though I could finally extinguish that burning question I've been craving since that dream.
I remembered the expression on his face when he answered me offhandedly—it was some sort of mutual understanding, everything I had been feeling. It was confirmed. I knew that dream would probably never be mentioned of again. Neither one of us was going to ask each other why. We weren't going to discuss it. We weren't going to try to understand it. We didn't have to. If indeed we were truthfully communicating with each other, there was no need to reiterate it. How it happened was another story, it was one we weren't going to bring up with each other again or mention to anyone outside of us.
There was no doubt that I was officially creeped out, and I was sure he was too, even though I knew he most likely enjoyed blowing my mind with that answer.
I also wanted to believe that this unbridled kindness he had working there was going to last, but I wasn't that foolish. It was only temporary. Eventually everything would go back normal and all of this would be in the past and the both of us would continue our normal routines as he calls me his favorite nicknames and I will continue to tell him off when he tries to be an overcompensating ass.
Somewhere outside of our friends, somewhere outside these walls, we would meet up with each other again and he would allow himself to be vulnerable around another human being, and I could only hope things would work out for the better. I know that I would never expect more than maybe an invitation to a party or a double date with friends, but at least I would know that it wasn't forced. That bond would always be there. He would always care and be there for me. Truthfully, he was there for all of us. That meant JD, Carla, and even Turk, too.
I know this sounded really cheesy for me to say, but it's true. After that night, everything changed. But it didn't create anything new that wasn't already there. Those feelings were there to begin with. That event only surfaced those feelings and it was for the better. I saw Dr. Cox as a completely different person. I saw him for what he really was, and that was this concerned and courageous father figure who deeply cared for his friend he looked upon more as a daughter. He may have been driven partly due to guilt, but he valiantly was willing to give up his life to save mine. I always knew there was good in him, but not as much as I saw that night. His heart…his heart was made of pure gold. I finally understood why he had always done the things he did, even if some things were pretentious and irrational. Everything I ever thought about him changed at that point in time.
I finally knew how he felt about me, and that left me with such a warm feeling in my heart. I owed everything to him. I owed my life to him. There wasn't anything I could do to repay him for what he did, and I was fully aware of that. He was brave and he didn't have any second thoughts about what he did. He was caring and kind to me. Truth be told, he was a lot of things to me. He was my colleague. He was my friend. He was my enemy. He was my father.
He was my hero.
Author's Notes: Oh, dear God, it's finished! It really is finally finished! :'D This chapter was actually harder than I thought it would be to write—I didn't expect it to change so much. It kept changing every time I wrote each day (seriously) and this is what became of it. Yeah, I know, the ending was cheesy, but what the hell, right? *giggle*
I'm actually proud of the relationship I've established with Elliot and Perry because I think it's one that often gets overlooked in the show. This story's purpose was the shed the light on that one amazing scene from Scrubs (as it's aforementioned) that seemed to perfectly capture the father/daughter thing that almost doesn't exist. This is just how I feel it should be handled, but it's there, you know?
Anyways, my next projects are going to be the possible story titled His Voodoo, which centers mostly around JD, and it's backbone will focus on this story's idea (bad relationship) but instead it'll be about revenge against JD and all his friends. This will definitely be more fantasy than the ending was to Her Hero, but as I said, things change. I'll probably take some time to write it after My Fandom and I'll see what I can do about updating because even during the summer I'm busy. *gasp* For a girl that has no life, anyway. xP
I want to thank all of my reviewers for sticking with this story even though it's horribly written (and you can't tell me otherwise xD). I re-HEE-ly want to thank Bells of Tomorrow and maximom4077 for sticking with this story and for the wonderful reviews, you guys are amazing. :') That reminds me, I am going to have to catch up on My Captain because tomorrow's update day *GASP!* and I can't BELIEVE I haven't had the time to read it…I'm so sorry! I have a lot to catch up on, actually…
Anyways, I hope everyone has a fantastic spring and summer and thank you all for reading, I appreciate it! ^_^ Until next time!
PS – There was also a meaning to both of the first dreams. If you're a rabid Dr. Cox fan (and understand my dark metaphors) you'll probably get it. *whistle* This may not be my last Elliot/Cox story, let's just say. ;P I also did a shout out to my lovely Emilie Autumn and Tori Amos. ;D Wee…bye now!