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Coming Home

Chapter 24

Somehow the moments until the nurse finally placed my baby in my arms didn't quite register in. I watched how she disconnected one of the diverse tubes and cables, observed how she gently wrapped my little girl in a soft blanket… but it seemed distant and pale until she turned to carefully lower the infant into my arms.

I stared down at her, at that tiny nose, her rosy face and before I even knew what was happening, a tear trickled down my face. My baby, finally in my arms, were it belonged. The uneasy, chilling feeling of emptiness and abandonment that had subconsciously plagued me all the time vanished and was replaced with the warmth of joy and wonder.

The nurse retreated, but I didn't really notice her absence until much later. What I noticed, however, was that Seeley knelt beside me, one hand on my shoulder, the other supporting my arm that held our child. It was as close as we could get to a family-embrace with the frame of the wheelchair between us and my stitches to think of. It had to be enough.

We spent some time in awe-struck silence, simply enjoying that we were together.

After some time, Angelina fussed a little, but calmed after I murmured soothing words to her.

"She is a little beauty, don't you think so too?" Seeley asked, his voice hoarse.

"Of course. She's our child. Parents always think their offspring is the most beautiful." I answered automatically, still staring down at the little girl, mesmerized by the sight of her unfocussed gaze, the shape of her tiny mouth. I was dimly aware of Booth's chuckle upon my reply, but the sight of my daughter held my attention. Her lips parted and she let out a small noise, something that almost sounded like a cat meowing. I had to smile.

"I love you, little Angelina." I whispered to the baby. She blinked lazily, then her eyes closed and she fell asleep. I closed my eyes for a moment and simply savoured the feeling of her sleeping in my arms. "Here. You have to hold her too." I said after a long moment, looking at Seeley.

"Are you sure? We only get fifteen minutes and I know how much you need this." He gave me a concerned look, but I also saw the underlying longing. She was, after all, his daughter too and he hadn't had the privilege of feeling her every movement for months. The connection the baby and I already had was yet to be built between the two of them.

"She's your daughter, Seeley. She needs her Dad, too." I simply said. He nodded, his eyes glistening just as mine did again, and reached for her. We gently, carefully transferred our daughter to his arms and he sank down in front of my wheelchair, simply sitting on the floor with our baby sheltered in his arms. It was a sight so tender and wonderful it made my chest ache with love for both of them.

"Hi, Angelina. It's your Daddy." He whispered to the baby. "I'm so glad I get to hold you… and that your mother is finally well enough to see you too. The doctor's didn't want her to leave her room, but she's pretty stubborn." He lifted his gaze and his eyes met mine for a moment, then he looked down at the baby again. "I love your mother, little angel. And I love you and your brother. You're going to meet him soon. He's been a little disappointed that you're not a boy, but I told him little sisters are pretty cool too, so he doesn't mind anymore."

I had to chuckle when I heard how Seeley told Angelina about Parker. "Parker's going to be a great big brother." I said and Booth's gaze met mine again. I saw a mix of emotions in his eyes, too many of them for me to decipher. "I'm a lucky guy, Bones. I have a wonderful son and now I also have a beautiful daughter. And I have you." He said seriously.

Before I could reply anything, the nurse came back into the room. "I'm sorry but the time is up. We need to get her tucked in again."

Reluctantly, Booth handed over our daughter to the nurse.

A few moments later we stared at our baby, once again in the incubator, her breathing and pulse supervised, her tiny feet kicking a little. Our child. A wonder… if you believe in something like that.

"We need to get you back now." Booth said. "You need to rest, Temperance."

I didn't want to. I never wanted to leave my daughter, I wanted to stay there, watch her sleep, hold her in my arms again…. but I nodded anyway. Soon, I was going to be healthy again and she was going to be released from the NICU and then…then we would have all the time in the world together.

"I don't want to leave her…" I whispered. "But I know I have to." I sighed and looked at our child. "Bye, Angelina. I love you. I'll be back."

Booth waved at the baby… which was of course futile, since she was asleep and wouldn't be able to interpret the gesture anyway. "Bye, little angel. Sleep tight."

Then he moved behind my wheelchair, but instead of starting to push, his strong arms came around me, careful not to squeeze me too tightly. "I know this is hard for you, but there is nothing we can do. Just think of how wonderful it will be when we're at home with her. I want to spend a whole day just lying in bed with you watching her sleep." He dropped a kiss on my head… my unwashed hair that had to be a tangled mass and look – and most likely also smell - awful. He didn't seem to mind. "I love you, Bones. Now let's get you back to bed." His gentle words calmed my inner turmoil a little and I relaxed.

I was half-asleep when we reached my room and after Booth helped me back into my bed, the nurse checked my stitches. She was satisfied with what she saw, but still gave me a lecture on being careful and staying in bed for the rest of the day. As if I would want to roam the hospital just for the fun of it.

My exhaustion had to be evident, because Seeley kissed me and told me to rest. "I'm going to come back later. Parker asked if he can visit you after school today. Is that alright?" I gave a tired nod. "Of course." I mumbled.

"Sleep, Temperance." He murmured. And I did…. before he had even left my room, darkness claimed me.

"Hush" I heard somebody murmur. "She's asleep. Let's come back later." The voice was very familiar.

I blinked my eyes open and tried to clear my head of the cobwebs. The pain killers they gave me made me sleepy and disorientated and waking up was a much longer process than usual.

"Seeley?" I asked.

"Bones!" The youthful voice exclaiming my name was familiar too.

"Hey Parker." I said and smiled at the boy. Booth and his son moved near to my bed. Parker hesitated a little, then he frowned, looking at me. "Your tummy is smaller." He looked a little confused for a moment.

I nodded. "I know. You remember how we talked about this? Angelina is not in there anymore."

"Right." Parker nodded. "We've seen her. I got to touch her hand." He inclined his head. "She's awfully small. Will she grow?"

I had to smile. "Sure. We all start as babies, Parker, and then grow up. She's small now, but she'll be a lot bigger in a few years."

"You started as baby, too, Daddy?" The concept seemed still very outlandish to the seven-year-old, although we had talked about it repeatedly.

"Yep." Seeley nodded. "But that was a long time ago, champ."

"Guess so." Parker nodded. "You're old now." I had to giggle at Booth's consternated look. "Thanks, buddy." He said after a moment, but his eyes warmed when he looked at me, obviously satisfied with the grin on my face.

"I talked to Angelina, but she was asleep." Parker announced after a moment.

"Babies sleep a lot, Parker. But I'm sure she heard your voice. That's important, you know… to hear familiar voices." I said to him and he nodded thoughtfully, then his eyes widened as another thought entered his mind.

"Daddy said you needed to get stitches. Did you hurt yourself?" Parker inquired.

Booth and I exchanged a look. "Sometimes babies can not be born like they should, Parker." I explained slowly. "The doctors were concerned something was wrong with Angelina, so they had to cut open my tummy to get her out as quickly as possible."

Parker's eyes were wide. "Didn't it hurt?"

"They gave me something so I fell asleep at that time." I answered… which was only the half of the truth. I had actually been unconscious due to blood loss when they had anesthetized me. But the little boy didn't need to know that. "And now they're giving me something against the pain. It's not so bad." I said and Parker nodded again, taking in the information.

"But Angelina is okay? There is nothing wrong with her?" He asked after some time.

"No, buddy." Seeley said, his big hand on his son's shoulder. "They doctors were fast enough so that both Bones and Angelina are going to be fine." He tried to sound cheerful, but I heard a slight tremor in his voice. A quick glance at his face confirmed my suspicion… he remembered the fear we both had felt when I had went in labour so unexpectedly, when we had known something had to be wrong. I could only guess how excruciating the hours of waiting had to have been for him. I reached for his hand and squeezed it gently. "We're all going to be well." I said and Booth nodded. "Thank God."

I didn't quite agree with thanking some mythical entity, but I was thankful all the same. Thankful for being part of a family now.

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