"Well?" she sounded irritated "Get up."

I obeyed before I even thought about it, and then felt annoyed at myself for doing so. She watched me fixedly. I tried to stare back, but couldn't hold her gaze. I ended up shamefacedly watching my feet. I can't explain why I felt ashamed. I was doing what I have to do, to live. I didn't ask to be brought here. I can't undo my own nature. I was annoyed that I felt I needed to apologize. Her unblinking stare was hard to bear. Like the sun on a hot day, inescapable, maddening.

"I have that dream often. The one I believe you just consumed." Her voice was even, but cold. I couldn't tell if she was angry. I wished, more than ever before, that humans could understand us, so that I could at least try and explain to her that I am not some primeval horror who takes pleasure in robbing her of her dreams. That I, like her, must eat to live.

"I have had nightmares about you things, since I was a child. Told to avoid forests, lest I be stolen away. Always slept with a light on in my room, even now." She wasn't even looking at me as she spoke. "And now, you're still interfering with my mind. How… unexpected." She glared up at me, the look on her face twisted- rage being forced into a closed lipped smile. My blood chilled, and I felt sure I'd be sick.

"Oh, don't look so terrified. You creatures are so guileless. It's so strange, you see so much subconscious, deceptive… stuff…. and still. I won't hurt you."

I wished she'd just have said she was going to tear out my nails, or break my fingers. At least I would have known what to try and steel myself against.

I waited. Finally, after what seemed an eternal minute she beckoned me closer, and, for a tiny second, I resisted. Then my natural cowardice won out and I shuffled forward until I was standing just in front of her. She had a very subtle fragrance. Something woody and barely detectable.

I felt my heart race, my blood surge through my veins, beneath my yellow skin. I have described Kaoru as alien. But that is not, perhaps, true. What she said before is closer to reality. I have known humans more intimately than they know themselves, almost all my life. Their minds, and through their minds, their bodies, their fears, their desires, their dreams. The insides of human minds, the grisly innards of their subconscious, are closer and more familiar than the inner workings of my own kind. I have never seen another Hypno's dream. I have lived inside a human's. Kaoru's body can't be alien in my eyes. Humans are always there, always the other normal, the other side of my own reality. They're the middle ground of Hypno lives. Though, of course, Kaoru is quite firmly in the foreground of my life.

I stood there dreading and yet desperately desiring her touch. Wanting her hands, so different, yet so like mine, to return me to reality, make all the hazy fear and confusion to go away. She stared at me, hands tantalizingly pressed onto the bed. I could tell by her expression that she was disgusted by me. Not me, the individual, but me, the Hypno. Maybe to her those are interchangeable concepts.

I felt hurt by her distaste, but it didn't kill my desire, which made me feel oddly craven. I wanted to tell her I was good. Not revolting, or terrifying, or monstrous. 'But', I asked myself, 'how good am I?' However you look at it, I'm not any shade of good enough. I found I couldn't quite meet her eyes, which she seemed to notice. A smile curled her lips.

"A creature good for only one thing. Two, if you count my husband's little project. Come up here. Sit where I can have a good, long look at you." My skin prickled, not in an entirely pleasant way. Her eyes flashed. She scraped her fingers over my chest. It probably would have been erotic if she hadn't had that look of distaste verging on abhorrence burning in her eyes. I felt somewhere between turned on and afraid. Her hands twisted around my shoulders, and I cringed away, not wanting her to touch the scars all over my back. I wanted to disown those ugly symbols of my stupidity and cowardice.

"Oh come on. My parents were doctors, it's not like I haven't seen wounds before." Her voice sounded irritated, rather than reassuring. I honestly wondered why she was even explaining herself to me. I forced myself to be still. She ran a finger firmly around the edge of the scars, and I was surprised how little I could feel it. She didn't seem concerned about whether I was healing or not, it was obviously mainly a curiosity inspired examination. I couldn't look at her.

I wished I could have been experiencing one of her dreams. They left me invigorated. Kaoru herself made me feel as inferior as she seemed sure I was. And, as my body continued to react as she wanted it to, I began to agree with her evaluation. I felt scattered, like my mind had been broken up, couldn't focus. I wished I felt whole, and that I was enjoying myself as much as my body felt I should be. I turned my mind off, let myself drift away, but found that there was nowhere else to think about. It eventually annoyed Kaoru. She glared down at me. "Oh, it's just the dreams, is it?" Her expression was stuck between livid and, maybe, slightly hurt. Seeing her respond to me, for a change, gave me a little extra vigour. She twisted herself into a different position, pressing down on me. It made my scars twinge with pain, but I couldn't move myself up. The juxtaposition of pain and pleasure at least brought my focus back, for a while I surrendered my mind to my body. She was glaring at me. "Get out. Stupid animal."

I got up, feeling deflated and dazed. I just wanted to sleep. Not to relive fatigue, just to make the world go away. I felt unsatisfied, hungry even. I wanted to avoid Traum, Mimpi and the others, and go somewhere where I could think clearly again.

Stumbled downstairs, outside, felt the icy air slice into me, curled up behind the tree. Waited for the world to leave. Staring up at the stars. Thousands and thousands of stars. It think I must have fallen asleep, but it was still dark when I felt someone nudging me awake. Lazlo was looming over me.

"Well, what have you done to yourself?"

Couldn't focus my eyes, he was blurry. "Can't think. And the human woman. You know."

"No, I don't know. I doubt I want to know. Come on, you look like you're going to piss yourself shuddering like that."

"I've certainly fallen," I said through teeth "in your esteem."

He looked pitying for the longest minute, rubbing his temples "Come on, at least the kennel has walls. You can embarrass yourself, but no-one will see." I followed him, curled up inside the tiny house that degradation built and fell deeply and dreamlessly to sleep.