A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews! I'm going to try to get these chapters out as fast as I can because I don't want to make you wait too long, especially when things start to get complicated. I don't want to confuse anyone too bad. This wasn't supposed to be a song fic, but as I write the chapters, they show up on my itunes then end up here. This one is Signs of Life by Lifehouse.

Break through hoping your demons can't catch you

So many people with a good view

If you should ever be the one to hit the ground

There's stop signs on the wrong highway

And it's so dark looking for answers

But your headlights have already gone out

You're looking for a spark

Can April hours spring

Signs of life in me

Summer 2009

When Sarah woke up the first thing she registered was the pain. It wasn't the dull ache in her arm and leg that killed her, but the screaming agony from her heart. Chuck was gone. She prayed that he was already somewhere far away where no one would ever find him. Her mind kept flashing back to the night before and the look on his face just before he turned to run. Even now, she couldn't pick out one emotion. There were too many painted on his face to discern anything. She imagined, in that moment, her face mirrored his. She tried to think of something more pleasant, like their date, but everything was tainted by the events of that night. While they were at the restaurant, all she could think about was what was to come. Now all she wanted to do was go back and enjoy those last precious moments she had with Chuck.

Sarah heard a distinct voice down the hall and braced herself for the looming conversation. If she thought last night was bad, then facing Chuck's sister was going to be a disaster. A second later, Ellie burst through the door, with Awesome right on her heels.

"Sarah! We came as soon as we heard. Are you okay?"

"I've been better," the agent said as the two doctors sat down next to her bed. Ellie reached out and squeezed her hand. Telling Ellie is going to be the hardest part of all of this.

"What happened? Where's Chuck? Shouldn't he be here?"

"Ellie, Devon . . . there's something I need to tell you."

"Is Chuck okay?" The panic in Ellie's voice was unmistakable. Awesome reached over and put a comforting arm around her, but he looked just as worried.

"Chuck is fine, but he's not here. And he's not coming."

"I don't understand. What's going on, Sarah?"

"There's a lot I need to tell you and I don't have a lot of time. In twenty minutes, I'm being transferred to a hospital in Washington DC. That means we have about fifteen until the doctors come to get me ready. You'll have questions, but save them for when I'm finished."

They both nodded and Sarah took a deep breath. She was scared. There were very few people who knew that she was a CIA agent and she never willingly gave that information away unless it was absolutely necessary. This was necessary, but that didn't mean she felt any less exposed.

"I'm a CIA agent. Chuck's an analyst." It was better to skip over the intersect stuff for a lot of reasons, but mostly because the fewer people that knew, the safer Chuck was. "I was his handler. Our relationship was a cover. Ellie, your brother is very important to the government. He has a lot of information that could hurt a lot of people if it got in the wrong hands. That's why I was sent here to protect him. There's an organization called Fulcrum who is looking for the information Chuck has, but they don't know who has it. These people have become a bigger threat the last few months and we have reason to believe that they are getting closer to finding out about Chuck. So we were going to send him to a secure location until we figured it out. But he didn't want to go. There was a fight, I lost, and now Chuck is on the run somewhere."

"Chuck shot you?"

"Yes."

Ellie was the picture of surprise. Awesome seemed to be handling everything better. Sarah continued before they could ask any more questions. "I know none of this makes sense and I know you must hate me for lying to you all this time, but I need you to know that I really do care for Chuck." More than you could ever know.

A heart that's been buried in the ground

Can't break if it's never found

I spent so much time digging that grave

And even if it's pain that I feel

At least I know that it's real

I'd rather be broken than afraid

Can April hours spring

Signs of life in me

It was dark as Chuck drove down the highway. It was about three in the morning and he was exhausted, but he still had fifty miles to go until he reached his destination. He'd stop in Cozumel, Mexico for a few days gather supplies, change his appearance, sell the Porsche, then buy another car. The Porsche was too flashy, plus he was sure there were still some CIA bugs on it that he missed.

Chuck didn't really have a plan. He had been driving along the east coast of Mexico for what seemed like forever. He knew there was a pair of CIA agents undercover in Mexico City and he wanted to stay as far away from there as possible. Once he left Cozumel, he would head down to Belize and stay there for a bit. He'd find some secluded house on the coast and stick it out for a few months then move again. He had a long road to travel and this was only the beginning.

For the first time in hours, Chuck let his thoughts drift to Sarah. He missed her so much already. Horrified didn't even begin to describe how he felt about having to shoot her. It was a feeling he never wanted to feel again. It tore him up to know that he caused her a lot of pain. He just hoped he didn't disable her permanently. It would kill her if she didn't get to be a spy anymore. It was her life. She told him once that she couldn't see herself doing this forever. At the time he didn't quite believe it. Sarah Walker was built to be a spy. He believed her now though. Maybe one day things will be different.

His thoughts moved to Ellie and Devon. He should have called them one last time before he tossed his cell phone. This was going to destroy his sister. He'd miss their wedding and probably the births of his future nieces and nephews. Everyone left Ellie. First their parents and now him. He felt so guilty, but there was no other option. This was the way it had to be.

Chuck didn't know how much time had passed by the time he reached Cozumel. It didn't really matter anyway. He had nowhere to go, no one to see, nothing to do. Time didn't mean anything anymore. But in a way it was all he had.

It's a long ride don't think it's over

It's a fine line between disaster and a good time

Pick up the pieces and find out who you are

It's a cool sound you know you're hiding

For a meltdown feeling the pressure

Like a landslide you have to figure out why you fell apart

Can April hours spring

Signs of life in me

Sarah glanced at the clock. They only had about seven minutes left. She sat up in bed and leaned closer to Ellie and Devon. The movement caused her pain and she flinched despite herself. She took a shaky breath and focused on the two concerned faces in front of her.

"Now I really need you to listen to me. This is important. I know you have no reason to, but I need you to trust me and do exactly as I say. Tomorrow afternoon two CIA agents are going to come to your apartment disguised as LAPD. They'll ask you a few questions about what happened and a lot of questions about how you know me and my involvement with you. Tell them I used to date your brother and that the only reason you visited me today was because you are doctors in this hospital. They won't ask about Chuck. It's routine for the CIA just to make sure that I haven't compromised myself as an agent. At some point tomorrow or the next day the FBI will come question you, but it will really be Fulcrum. When they ask about me tell them the same thing. These people will ask about Chuck. Tell them he's been missing for a year and you haven't heard from him since he left on a business trip to Vegas. Tell them he had a gambling problem and the authorities think he got messed up in some bad dealings. They should accept that and won't bug you anymore."

"Will it keep them from looking for Chuck?"

"It should. For awhile anyway. As soon as you leave this hospital you can never talk about Chuck again. Your house, your phones, your cars, everything is bugged. People are always listening. I can't protect him anymore." That killed Sarah the most. Fulcrum was after him and there was nothing she could do. She wished Chuck could have realized that. The bunker wasn't any kind of life he wanted, but it was a life. They'd catch Fulcrum eventually and Chuck would get his life back. She had to find a way to keep him safe.

Out of the corner of her eye, Sarah saw the nurses readying a gurney for her transfer. There was an agent in the hallway waiting for her. Sarah recognized him. She had one of her earliest missions with him. He got hurt and now all he could do were menial tasks like accompanying an injured agent back to base. She didn't know how he did it. She never wanted to be standing on the sidelines.

"You guys have to go now."

Ellie and Devon got up silently and headed for the door. They seemed too shocked to function. She couldn't really blame them; their lives had totally changed in a fifteen minute conversation. Sarah wondered when she had become immune to that shock. Nothing really fazed her anymore. It was just further proof that she acted more like a robot than an actual human being.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. She didn't need this people to forgive her, but she wanted them to. In the short years she was with Chuck, they had become her family. The first real one she had. They helped her without question. They loved her despite the fact that she was always steeling Chuck away from them. They invited her into their home and even into their wedding. Losing that support system was almost going to be as damaging as losing Chuck himself.

Ellie turned around and gave Sarah a look she couldn't decipher. "Are we ever going to see you again, Sarah?"

"I doubt it. And if you do, you won't recognize me. I'll be a different person." When this is all said and done will I even recognize me? "Can you guys do something for me?"

Her question hung in the air for a long time. For a moment, Sarah was afraid that Ellie and her fiancé were just going to walk out the door without another glance.

"Of course," Ellie said softening.

"Can you always remember me as the person you knew before today? The person who loved Chuck? The person you wanted in your wedding? Please don't remember me as I am now."

They both nodded and Sarah met Ellie's eye for the first time. The concern and care in the other woman's eyes made Sarah turn away. She had to keep her composure. She could not break down.

"Goodbye, Sarah."

A heart that's been buried in the ground

Can't break if it's never found

I spent so much time digging that grave

And even if it's pain that I feel

At least I know that it's real

I'd rather be broken than afraid

Can April hours spring

Signs of life in me

Chuck scanned the motel room one last time to make sure he didn't forget anything, then he closed the door and hopped into the beat up old pickup truck he traded for the Porsche. He sold it to a wealthy shop owner who gave him the truck, a couple thousand dollars, and anything in the store he wanted. Chuck picked up some new clothes, food, and some scissors so he could but his hair. It wasn't much shorter, but short enough that he wouldn't be easily recognizable. It would probably be a good idea to dye it at some point too, but Chuck figured he'd wait awhile to do that. Morgan dared him to dye it blonde once. Looks like he'd get his wish, after all.

The truck roared to life instantly and Chuck pulled out of the parking lot. The lone dirt road stared at him and he found himself easing off the gas. His mind drifted to Sarah again. He wished she was sitting in the passenger seat next to him. He couldn't fully picture her sitting there because he knew it would never happen. Forget about it. Forget about her.

Chuck pushed down on the gas and continued down the dirt road. Here we go.