A/N: Once again thanks to everyone who reviewed. This takes place after Predator and the song is Save You by Kelly Clarkson. Enjoy!

I can tell, I can tell how much you hate this
And deep down inside, you know it's killing me
I can call, wish you well and try to change this
But nothing I can say would change anything

Spring 2009

Sarah watched as Chuck crossed the Buy More parking lot and made his way over to the Orange Orange. He had that look on his face, the one that told her he wanted to talk. He'd had that look a lot lately, mostly about finding Orion and getting the intersect out of his head. It's not that Sarah didn't want that for him, she did, even though it meant she wouldn't get to see him anymore. Not that she'd ever tell him that. Chuck seemed to have this perfect vision of getting the intersect out of his head and them being together. He never seemed to realize that once his time as the intersect was over she would be shipped off to some new assignment on the other side of the world. If they wanted to be together she'd have to quit the CIA. Honestly, she had thought about it a lot. There were times when she wanted nothing more than to leave and be able to be with Chuck for good. No covers, no lies. But every time she came close, she remembered why she joined the CIA in the first place and how it made her feel to finally be a part of something. She believed in what she doing. She saw firsthand how her job helped people and how she really was making a difference. As much as she loved Chuck, she wasn't ready to let that go. She'd be heartbroken when the time came to go, but no one ever said the life of a CIA agent was easy or fair. Still, she knew the longer this assignment went on, the harder it would be to leave.

"Hey, Chuck."

"Hi, Sarah. How's your day going?"

"Alright. It's been pretty slow today."

"It's been the same at the Buy More."

This was the dance they did. He'd come in and make small talk, then she'd force him to say what was on his mind. She didn't want to do that dance today. "Do you have the night off?" she asked instead.

"Yeah. Big Mike is cutting a few people early so I'm free. Why? Do we have a mission?"

"No, I've just wanted to try that new Italian restaurant down the street. Ellie said it was really good and I figured it'd be something fun." Sarah hoped he could tell that she was making an effort. Things had been rocky between them for the last few weeks. He'd been distant after their assignment in the suburbs, then the Cole situation didn't make things any easier, and now this whole Orion thing was driving a bigger wedge between them.

He narrowed his eyes at her slightly. "Like a cover date?"

"Yeah. We haven't had one in awhile."

His face fell. She knew he wanted to hear something different. "Chuck just because it's for our cover doesn't mean I don't want to spend time with you." As soon as the words left her mouth, Sarah knew she shouldn't have said them. She didn't want to give him too much hope, but she also owed him the truth.

"I'll meet you at your place at 8," he smiled. She returned it and watched as he retreated back to the Buy More, whatever he came to talk about forgotten.

Where were my senses, I left them all behind
Why did I turn away
Away

Chuck felt different when he woke up the next morning. He couldn't quite figure out why. It was just one of those days when you wake up and know everything's about to change. Hopefully that change would be a good one. His "date" with Sarah was amazing. They didn't exactly move forward in their relationship, but he knew she was trying and that was enough for him. He had forgotten how good it felt just to talk to her. If dinner had shown him anything, it was that Sarah really was the girl he wanted. He knew he'd have to wait for her, but he was prepared. Why waste time looking for someone else when he knew that Sarah was the one?

His phone rang next to him. Sarah's picture appeared and he smiled. This day just kept getting better. "Hello."

"Hey! Did I wake you up? You sound tired."

"No, I've been up for a few minutes. What's up?"

"Do you mind stopping by Castle on your way to work? Beckman called, she wants to have a meeting."

"Sure. Is everything okay?"

"I think so, but she didn't tell us what it was about."

A half hour later, Chuck showed up with coffee and bagels for him and Sarah. He tried to bring Casey breakfast once. It didn't turn out too well. He noticed how her hand rested on his arm for a few moments too long after she thanked him. Not that he was complaining.

"When's this thing supposed to start? My shift starts in twenty minutes."

"The General is busy. She'll call when she has time, not when it's convenient for you."

He looked from Casey to Sarah, but she just shrugged. Big Mike was going to kill him if he was late for another shift. They were getting a huge video game shipment in today and someone had to be there to control Jeff and Lester. Since Big Mike had started dating Morgan's mom, he had let Morgan get away with even more at the store. Right now Morgan was being paid to sit on his ass and watch movies all day.

"Oh, I almost forgot. Ellie wanted me to invite you to dinner tonight. She wants to go over some bridesmaid stuff or something."

"Alright. Sounds like fun."

The three of them sat in silence for awhile. Casey was going over reports and Sarah just stared off into space. She looked like she was a million miles away. He'd give anything to know what was on her mind. Part of him wanted to reach over, touch her hand, and ask if everything was okay, but he thought better of it. The chances of her actually telling him were small, especially in front of Casey. So he just sat there and went over the schematics Orion sent him in his mind. He had studied the cards so much that he could picture them perfectly in his head. Sarah could never find out he had them. He knew she'd be hurt that he didn't trust her enough to share them with her. It's not that he didn't trust her. He trusted her completely, with his life at least, maybe not so much with his heart. This was just something he knew he had to keep to himself. If he wanted to get the damned intersect out of his head he would have to do it his way, without help from the government. A few minutes later the screen came to life and a very weary looking General Beckman greeted them. Chuck's heart sank when he saw her. A briefing with the General was never usually a fun experience, but by the look on her face something bad was happening. So much for this being a good day.

"Agent Casey is Castle secure?"

"Of course, Ma'am. Is there reason to believe Castle's been compromised?"

"No. I just need to make sure," the General said then paused. Chuck was worried, he had never seen the General like this. "I received word today that Director Graham's position is finally being filled. This man," Chuck's head filled with images as the picture was put up on the screen, "has been named the new Director of the CIA."

"Oh my God . . ."

"What is it Chuck?" Sarah asked placing her hand over his. He swallowed and looked from her to the picture on the screen.

"He's Fulcrum."

I wish I could save you
I wish I could say to you
I'm not going nowhere
I wish I could say to you
It's gonna be alright

"That's what we feared."

"How could this happen General?" Sarah was shocked. Judging by the looks of Chuck and Casey, they were too. She did not see this coming.

"Fulcrum must have more connections that we anticipated. His name is Jonathan Anders. He officially starts on Monday."

"What does that mean for us?"

The General sighed. "I don't know. Now more than ever we have to keep the identity and the very existence of the intersect a secret. There can be no slip ups. I considered putting Chuck in a more secure location, but I don't think it will help. Anders will have access there."

"Do you think that's his goal? To find the intersect?" Casey asked.

"Quite possibly. Whatever his intentions, this is not good news. Be extra cautious in the coming days. I will contact you again when I have more information."

The three of them sat in a shocked silence once again. Sarah felt like her world had been flipped upside down. Please let this be a dream. Out of all the horrible things she imagined happening to Chuck, to their team, this did not even come close.

"W-What are we supposed to do?"

"I'm going to change all the security and access codes," Casey said more to himself than anybody. Sarah watched him go and tried to think of something helpful to say to Chuck, but she came up empty. How was she supposed to comfort him when there was nothing anyone could say that would comfort her?

"Look Chuck, I don't want you to worry too much right now. We're not in any immediate danger. Just remember to be very careful about what you say and what you do. And listen to what we tell you. If we say stay in the car, stay in the car. We can't afford any mishaps."

He nodded, but wouldn't meet her eyes. There was something more on his mind. Orion, most likely. This would throw away any hope of pursuing that avenue. She knew this was killing him. God, why did she have to suck at this part? Why couldn't she think of anything helpful to say to him?

"I'm sorry."

"For what? This isn't your fault."

"I know you really wanted to figure out how to get your old life back. You know for the time being that search has to be terminated."

"I know. That's not what I'm upset about though." She waited while he seemed to have an argument with himself. Finally he turned to her. "After last night I just thought . . . that we were making progress, you know? It just seemed like we were finally headed in the right direction. It's dumb, I know." He got up and headed up the stairs, but Sarah caught up to him.

"It's not dumb, Chuck. I-", she paused for a moment trying to choose her words carefully. It felt like anything she said would hurt him. "I wish things could be different. Under different circumstances, who knows what our relationship would be like?"

He took that in for a minute and seemed to accept it. "I need to get to work. Can you still come for dinner tonight? I need to let Ellie know."

"Of course, I'll be there." Even his walk looked defeated. Sarah knew the feeling. There was no way this day could get any worse.

I didn't mean, didn't mean to leave you stranded
Went away 'cause I didn't want to face the truth
Reaching out, reach for me empty-handed
You don't know if I care
You're trying to find the proof

"Sarah! It's so good to see you," Ellie said hugging her. Ellie shut the door behind them and led Sarah to the couch where there was a stack of bridal magazines and a bunch a note cards.

"Where's Chuck?"

"I needed him to pick up a few things from the store. He should be home soon."

Sarah smiled and took the glass of wine Ellie offered her. This day was just getting weirder. Casey and her had worked all day to make sure Castle and Chuck were safe and now she had to navigate through the trials of wedding planning. She tried to remain attentive and helpful while Ellie showed her pictures and asked her opinion on floral arrangements, but all Sarah could think about was how the appointment of the new Director was going to screw up everything she had here.

"Sarah, is everything alright?"

"I'm sorry, Ellie," she said shaking herself out of her reverie. "I just have a lot on my mind."

"Anything you want to talk about?" Ellie Bartowski never ceased to surprise her. She was the type of friend Sarah didn't deserve, but the kind that she desperately longed for. No wonder Chuck turned out so good; he had an amazing sister to raise him.

"No, it's just a bunch of boring work stuff. I think I'll be better once Chuck comes home. I haven't seen him since this morning." Ellie's eyes lit up and the corners of her mouth twitched up into a small smile. Though it was good for their cover, it was the truth. She had checked the monitors every five minutes today to make sure everything at the Buy More was okay. Sarah didn't really expect anything major to happen this soon, but they were all on edge for the inevitable. Once she could touch Chuck, feel him next to her, would she really believe he was okay.

Ellie went on for another fifteen minutes and Sarah tried her best to stay focused. They had agreed on a floral arrangement and center pieces by the time Chuck came home. Ellie grabbed the grocery bags from him and rushed into the kitchen to make dinner. Sarah walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. His arms snaked around her back and she knew he had been as worried as she was.

"How's everything?" he asked in a whisper.

"Secure for now."

"Can we talk after dinner? I've been thinking a lot today."

Sarah just nodded. Chuck left his hand on her lower back as they walked into the kitchen to help Ellie.

There were times I'd wonder
Could I have eased your pain
Why did I turn away
Away

Sarah sat on the edge of Chuck's bed as he paced in front of her. How was he supposed to lay it out for her when he didn't have a full grasp on everything himself?

"Chuck, spit it out. You're making me dizzy." He stopped abruptly and returned her small smile. It vanished a second later when he pulled his computer chair in front of her and sat down.

"The only thing I could think about at work today was how I was never going to get the intersect out of my head. I wallowed for hours about it. I didn't care about any of the other implications of the new Director being Fulcrum. I was being selfish and I didn't care. After all, I didn't ask for this and now I'm stuck with it forever. But then I went to the store. I saw a young mom, probably around Ellie's age, struggling with three little kids. Then there was a group of older ladies talking to each other in the produce section. The store was filled with all these people who had no clue about what was happening. They didn't know that there was a good chance their whole world would come crashing down around them. I didn't envy them. For the first time I realized how much I complain about being the intersect and how much I think about only me and my family and friends. I don't think too much about the rest of the people unless we are some mission to save them. They didn't do anything to deserve what might happen."

Sarah looked at him quizzically. "I'm not sure I understand where you're going with this."

"I think I have a plan on how to fix this."

"Why do I get the feeling that I'm not going to like this?"

"Because you're not. I don't even like it, but I think it's the best shot we have."

I wish I could save you
I wish I could say to you
I'm not going nowhere
I wish I could say to you
It's gonna be alright

"Mr. Bartowski, do you realize how the majority of your plan depends on blind luck?"

"Yes, General," Chuck replied as his spirits sank. He knew it was a long shot to get her to go for it, but part of him thought she would.

"Well, we better hope we get lucky then."

"Wait. You approve?"

"At the moment it's our best option. If we keep on task then I have faith that it will work."

"Ma'am when do you want us to set the plan in motion?"

"Right now. We need as much time as possible to make it believable. The date we discussed is fast approaching and we need to finalize everything before Anders takes full control. Agent Casey, I'd like to talk to you in private for a moment."

"Yes, General" Casey left and headed to a private room.

"Congratulations, Chuck."

"I'm surprised she went for it."

"Don't be. It's a good plan." She beamed at him. He wished he could take a picture of the look on her face. Instead, he just had to try to burn it into his memory. In that moment it started to dawn on him how much of this rested on her shoulders. Sure, he had a lot to do, but only in the beginning and the end. The majority of the plan was her burden to bear.

"What is it?"

"What do you mean?"

"You have that look. Something's bothering you."

"I'm sorry."

"For?"

"Putting all of this on you. I never stopped to think just how much all of this lies on you. I didn't mean to put so much pressure on you."

"It's okay, Chuck. It doesn't feel like a burden."

"Then why do I feel like I just damned you?"

We can pretend nothing's changed
Pretend it's all the same
And there would be no pain tonight
It's gonna be alright
It's gonna be alright
Save you, I wish I could save you

"Then why do I feel like I just damned you?" His words echoed in her ears. She didn't think of it that way. It would be hard, if not near impossible to pull off, but she had faith in herself and her team. They could do it. They had to.

"You didn't damn me. I agreed to this. It is my job after all."

"I know, but still."

She walked over and straightened his tie. His face was scrunched up in guilt and she tried to find the words to make it better, but none came.

"I should probably get to work."

Sarah pretended to pick lint off his shirt then gave up and let her hand rest on his shoulder. She just felt the urge to be connected to him. It seemed like it was the last time she would have the chance to. That was only half true because he would still be there, but their relationship would be completely changed.

"You know, as soon as you walk out that door this whole thing officially starts. We can't . . . we can't have . . . moments like we used to. Everything has to be an act. I might say things that are hurtful, but please don't take them to heart."

The gravity of her statement seemed to hit him and he looked even more depressed. "So you're saying this is kind of our goodbye."

"The only real one we'll get."

He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it after a minute. He seemed to think better of whatever he was going to say. Sarah wished with all her heart that he would have said them, but she was sure it would have just made this whole thing harder.

I'm not going nowhere
I wish I could say to you
It's gonna be alright
It's gonna be alright
Save you, I wish I could save you
It's gonna be alright

"I don't know how to do this, Sarah. What am I supposed to say?"

Chuck wasn't prepared for what she did next. She closed the small distance between them and kissed him. It was soft, gentle, not burning with passion and pent up sexual tension like their previous kisses. It seemed like she was trying to tell him something. Something that couldn't be said aloud for fear of ruining everything. No, this was something that had to be understood, that had to be felt. And oh, he felt it.

She pulled away after what seemed like an eternity, but it was still too soon. He stared at her for a moment, searching her eyes for some kind of an answer. "You should probably get to work."

"Yeah, I guess I should." With one final look at her he started up the stairs. He felt her eyes on him, but he couldn't bring himself to look back at her. If he did, he just might break.