Chapter 99

Chapter 99

Just have a little patience

Robin stood outside the door, balancing a coffee tray and a small paper bag in one hand as she raised her other hand to knock.

By her best guess she had slept more than 20 hours, waking only once to take her protocol. When she finally emerged from the bedroom she had found herself alone and the apartment almost unnervingly silent. As she had padded to the kitchen she had found a bag tied with a bow and a note with her name on it.

Robin -

Since I know you didn't pack a change of clothes, I picked up a few things for you. I hope that they're to your liking. Hang in there and give yourself a break because you deserve it. I'm off back to P.C today but if you need anything, call me.

Love, Alexis.

Smiling, she had opened the bag and let out a small squeal of delight at the sweaters and new pair of jeans tucked inside. Desperately wanting to see Patrick again, she had raced to the shower and thrown on her new clothes before heading out the door, her still damp hair scraped back into a ponytail.

Now feeling calm and balanced, she knew there was just one stop she had to make before going to see him. It wasn't going to be easy and if she wanted to, she could probably push it back for a few more days after all no one would blame her. But that was not her style and as she had been so good at dishing out lumps it was only fair she be prepared to take them.

Knocking lightly on the door she pushed it open and tentatively stood in the doorway.

"I come with a peace offering of bagels and coffee" she said as a nervous smile played across her lips.

Looking up from his chart Eric flashed a half smile and waved her in. "How are you?" he asked quietly. Though she was still wan, he was relieved to see that some of the stress that had pinched her face seemed to have disappeared.

Robin passed him a coffee and put the bag of bagels down on his desk before sliding into the chair across from him. "I am embarrassed, humiliated and sorrier than you could possibly know," she told him in a clear voice, biting the bullet.

"Robin, everyone reacts differently to stress and the case could be made that I was neither as graceful nor kind as I could have been."

She shook her head. "No - you were simply reacting to what I said. I provoked all of it and I am very sorry. For a few days I could feel it building in me and I had no idea how to make it stop. It was like a tornado swirling around me and I was taking out everything in my path - especially you."

He opened his mouth to speak but found his voice just out of reach. Peeling back the plastic tab on his lid, he blew on the coffee, sending a small stream of steam billowing upwards. Taking a small sip and letting the hot liquid slide down his throat, he tried again. "Do you really think I failed him?" he asked hoarsely.

Tears pricked at her eyes as she smiled apologetically. "No - god no Eric. He is alive because of you and up until this morning I'm not sure I realized what a miracle that is. Alexis thought that perhaps I had been so prepared for him to....to....for him not to make it that I had not contemplated how hard it would be if he did and I think she may be right."

With a smile ghosted across his lips, Eric nodded. His girlfriend - the term still gave him pause, in a good way - was very astute and had a way of providing perspective just when people needed it.

"Can I ask....you seemed really angry about me and I guess I just want to know if you really believe that I haven't been aggressive enough or been the doctor he needed?"

She sighed regretfully as she came to understand the depth of hurt she had caused. Apologies were never easy but then again if one was truly sorry for the pain they caused, it probably shouldn't be an easy thing to do.

"Not only do I think you've been the doctor he needed," she swallowed thickly, "I think more importantly you've been the friend he needed. Eric we have all, including Patrick, suffered from this and I made it worse for you and I was wrong to do so. I....when Patrick couldn't remember the necklace he gave me it sent me over the edge for a whole pile of reasons that had nothing to do with you. I was miserable and it felt like I was crumbling and I just wanted someone - anyone - to feel as badly as I did."

He flicked his fingers nervously against the lid. "And you don't think I did already?" he asked.

"I think, if it's possible, you may have felt worse." She exhaled slowly. "If I could wave a wand of some kind and take it all back I would do so in a heartbeat but I can't. All I can do is tell you that I am truly sorry and that I hope in time you can forgive me."

"Do you love him?"

"Oh my" she replied, inhaling sharply, "more than I could have ever thought possible."

He nodded. "Patrick and I have been friends for almost 10 years now and he is quite possibly the best man I know, warts and all." Robin grinned. "But with you he is even better than that. And so for that reason and because I know how you feel I do forgive you - we're cool, okay?"

Relief washed over her and several tears escaped down her face. Pushing out her chair she bounded around the desk throwing her arms around him and hugging him tightly. "Thank you" she whispered.

Eric hugged her back before letting go. "Are you on your way to see him?"
Robin was unable to keep the smile from her face. "Yes."

"He'll be happy to see you" he reassured her. "You should know he's got a few bumps and bruises from a little excursion he took-" Seeing the look of panic crossing Robin's face, he patted her arm. "He's okay and he has a few more words" he added.

Robin looked anxiously at the door ready to bolt to see him but she held back, not wanting to appear ungrateful or insensitive.

Smirking, Eric pointed to the door. "Go!"

With a small laugh, Robin gave him a wave and grabbing her coffee dashed out his door and down to Patrick's room.

*****
Gently pushing open the door and seeing Patrick with his eyes shut, she tiptoed inside. In an act of supreme restraint, she held back from rushing his bed and crawling inside with him. She watched as his chest rose and fell and gave a small shake of her head. She had meant what she had said to Eric. That Patrick had survived the surgery and was mostly healthy was a miracle - one she needed to appreciate.

Sensing someone in the room Patrick slowly opened his eyes and gave a bleary glance around the room before seeing Robin standing stock still near the door. He blinked several times as he tried to decide if she was real or another image from his subconscious there to taunt him. Taking a deep breath he worked his tongue against his teeth trying to find his words.

"Oobin?" he asked.

She gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. "Oh my god!! You said my name!"

To anyone else it may have sounded stilted, incomplete and forced but to her it was pure music. It was hard to describe to anyone the impact of not hearing your name. Over the course of any given day she was often called any number of variations of her name but in the last week the one person whose voice could reduce her to a puddle could not call to her. There was liberation for her in his mangled pronunciation.

Crossing the room in three strides, she cupped his face and kissed him hard on the mouth. She was not surprised to feel tears trickling against her cheek until she pulled away and discovered they were not hers. They were, in fact, his. With an inquisitive smile, she swiped at them.

"Are you okay?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Unable to tear his eyes from her, he nodded. He gently explored the skin of her hands, her arms and her face as though he needed to touch her to believe she was real. Robin closed her eyes as his fingertips trailed lightly over her soft lips and under her eyelashes. She closed her hand around his and placed a long, lingering kiss against the inside of his palm.

"Hi baby" she grinned as she opened her eyes. The smattering of purple and blue bruises laid angrily against his forehead caught her attention. Tenderly, she traced her fingers across them. "Oh Patrick, what happened?"

"M-m-m-m-miss y-you" He exhaled heavily as the words finally got loose.

Gently, she slid her arms around his neck and hugged him, her head cradled against his shoulder. Patrick raised his arms and closed them around her relieved at being able to feel her breath on his skin. His nightmare continued to repeat but when he woke up he could not describe it to anyone. All he knew is that if felt like his heart had been ripped from his chest. Seeing her now made the feeling disappear.

Robin kissed his neck, his chin and then nipped lightly at his lips. "I am so sorry if I worried you" she apologized quietly. "I am so sorry."

He brushed the bangs from her face and looked into her eyes. He wanted to speak more, to tell her that he was sorry he didn't remember and he was sorry for whatever happened while he was sick, that he would find some way to make it up to her, but he had already exhausted his words. While keeping one hand on her hip, he reached for the white board.

Better?

She nodded. "I'm with you. It doesn't get better than this."

I found something

"You did?"

Giving a small nod in response, he slowly lifted his shirt to his neck and tapped his tattoo.

Robin sucked on her bottom lip and she stared unblinkingly at his tattoo. The red of the heart seemed to burn bright and she could have sworn there was a gleam from the golden crown. She opened her mouth several times to speak but could not find her voice.

I like it he scribbled quickly.

"I like it too" she agreed hoarsely.

I will remember.

The earnest look in his eyes as he stared at her stole her breath away. How she ever could have doubted him or his love for her was beyond her. Though the last six months had given her amazing, heart expanding moments, they had been built on the foundation of the love they felt for each other. It was a foundation that had been laid carefully and reinforced over the year and she should have trusted that it would not crumble so easily. Even when he had left for New York he had done so under the guise of love. There was a discussion there that still had to happen but for now, she would take this moment and treasure it as much as she had the others. Leaning in, she kissed him softly.

As they pulled away from the kiss, he wrote again. I need something else
Robin looked at him with concern. "What? What do you need?"

Sponge bath. He looked up at her with a grin and waggled his eyebrows, wincing as his bruises crinkled painfully.

Laughing out loud for the first time in days, Robin shook her head. "You are impossible" she chided teasingly. "You've had your brain tinkered with twice in the space of two days and you are only seven days post op. You're seriously looking to get lucky?"

He grinned. "Yes" Maybe just a little lucky he wrote. Not sure I'm cleared for that yet.

Robin giggled. "Fine. Let me help you take your shirt off and I'll see what I can do about giving you a sponge bath."

With her assistance, he pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it on the chair near his bed. Robin disappeared to the bathroom and filling a small bowl with warm water and soap, grabbed a facecloth and headed back out to him.

She pulled the table as close to the bed as possible, setting the bowl down on it. Taking great care she climbed onto his bed and straddled his lap. Unable to help herself, she swept her hand across his chest, lingering for a breath over the tattoo.

"We're going to have to fatten you up" she teased. "You're a little thin"

He smiled wryly as he lifted off the pillow and stole a kiss from her.

Robin dampened the facecloth and wrung it out before dragging it across his chest. His breath quickened from the touch and their eyes locked on each other. His hands braced her hips as his thumbs stroked along her waist. Lovingly, she washed his chest and his torso, dropping little kisses on his skin as she did so. She smiled against his abs as she felt him sigh contentedly.

Rinsing out the cloth she slowly washed the length of his arm before pressing her lips to his shoulder. A small gasp escaped from the back of her throat as he pushed his hips up against her, revealing the beginnings of his arousal.

With her brown eyes dancing she gave him an impish look. "I'm not sure you're supposed to be getting turned on by this," she teased.

Taking the pen in his left hand he scribbled haphazardly on the board. Need to make sure it works

Robin laughed as his cheeks flushed a deep crimson. "I would say it's working fine" She gave a slight swivel of her hips against his. "It feels very good."
Inhaling sharply, Patrick raised his hand and gently cupped her breast, kneading it through her sweater. Her mouth dropped open and she gave out a small moan as he dragged his thumb across her hardening nipple.

"P-Patrick" she stammered, feeling the blood rush between her legs as his hand moved to the other breast. "I'm not sure it's wise of us to start something we can't finish"

He knew she was right of course. He was in no condition to go any further than where he was right now but he so much just wanted to touch her; to have his hands lazily explore her body eliciting tiny moans and sighs along the way. As he had fallen in love with her he had discovered two things: the intensity of his pleasure was directly tied to the pleasure he gave her and making love to her gave him a freedom he had never before felt.

After the nightmares and confusion and sadness, he just wanted a taste of that.

"But we can do the next best thing" she told him as she saw the look of disappointment on his face.

Dropping the facecloth on the table, she pulled back the covers and burrowed underneath them, lying on top of him. She left a long, wet kiss in the middle of his chest as he pulled the covers over them and slid his hands under her sweater feeling her skin. The feel of her hair against his bare skin was achingly familiar and an unexpected source of comfort.

His eyes grew heavy and for the first time in days he felt no panic as he drifted off to sleep.

"Oobin" he sighed happily.