A/N: *waves from behind a rock* Hiiiiiiiiii. I'm back. Sorry for the long wait (I was busy with NaNoWriMo) but here's the good news: I've finished writing this story. Just need to edit and get it beta-ed, so updates will definitely be more frequent from now on. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Thanks for reading, and as usual, thanks to Diana(Dmarx) for the speedy beta!
Disclaimer: Not mine!
There wasn't much to be said about the safe house. On the outside it was plain and unassuming, which worked just fine because it was meant to blend in and remain inconspicuous. The interior was mostly bare as well. The walls weren't decorated; there was a clock and some furniture – just the bare necessities.
There were two small bedrooms and only one bathroom. Kate and Alexis took one of the bedrooms while the guys sorted out who was sleeping in the other bedroom and who would sleep in the living room. The kitchen was tiny – they'd have to eat in the living room as well - but it was stocked with some canned food and dry products.
The six of them would be in close proximity for an extended period of time and privacy couldn't really be afforded.
As she slowly unpacked the contents of her hastily thrown together duffel bag, Alexis sighed softly. She could already feel cabin fever settling in.
"Hey, Dad," she greeted, joining him on one of the couches in the living room. "You guys sorted out who's taking the other bedroom yet?" Alexis continued conversationally, looking around to see where the others were.
Agent Lee was wiring up some equipment to his computer and he gave her a small smile in greeting before going back to his work but the others weren't in sight. Alexis deduced that they were probably doing a perimeter check or whatever other procedures that were necessary to ensure security at a safe house.
"Erm, yeah, sorta. We dumped all our things in the bedroom and we'll take turns sleeping in there. We'll do the rest of our work out here, and some of us can crash on the couch at night," Castle explained.
"So what do I do?" Alexis asked, drumming her fingers on her thigh.
"Stay safe, stay out of sight, make sandwiches?" Castle suggested. Alexis shot him a glare. He quickly backtracked. Maybe it was still too soon for humor. "I'm sorry, honey, I don't know how to answer that question," he told her. "You brought some books, right? Maybe you could read those and keep up with your course work."
"I brought a book along with me. Everything's on my iPad and I didn't exactly have the time to pack properly. Dad, I don't even have my phone to find out what's going on with my classes."
"Alexis, you know that none of us could bring along any of our electronic devices because we don't want to be tracked by Tyson."
Alexis dropped her head to rest on his shoulder. "I know. 'S not your fault, dad."
Just then, Kate returned with Ryan and Esposito, joining the rest of them in the living room. Alexis continued, "I just want this week to be over so that we can all return to our lives."
If Beckett noticed the underlying iciness in Alexis' tone, she did a fine job of ignoring it.
"Here," Kate told Lee, handing him a cell phone, "burner cell. We change the sim card every day and only make outgoing calls once a day or when it's absolutely necessary to get updates. How's the camera feed?"
"Cameras are working just fine, boss," he told her, turning the computer screen to show her the various camera feeds from multiple angles surrounding the safe house.
"Alright, we'll do perimeter checks and watch the camera feeds in pairs throughout the night."
"Do we get burner cells as well?" Ryan asked, looking expectantly at Beckett. After all, they'd had to leave their cell phones behind as well.
"Yeah, but the FBI can only provide one phone, so you guys have to share. Only one outgoing call a day though, and no incoming calls," Beckett replied, pulling out another cell from her pocket and passing it to him.
Alexis was disliking her situation more and more by the minute. She had spent the morning seething over her bodyguards, and after cutting down their numbers, she got a call from her dad in the evening telling her that the FBI were moving her to a safe house until the week was over. It wasn't an option open to discussion.
She'd been itching to get into a fight with someone for the past few hours and this seemed as good of an opportunity as any. Alexis interrupted the conversation rather rudely. "So why bother?"
Beckett swung her head around to look at her. No one else seemed interested enough to step in. She hadn't expected anyone to intervene, but this little situation gave her a glimpse of what her next few days would look like.
"It's not necessary to use it – the phone is more of a-"
"-a decorative item? Something that's there, but nobody really knows why it's there since it doesn't seem to do anything?" Alexis supplied.
Beckett walked a few steps closer to the couch. From the corner of her eye she saw Ryan and Esposito fidgeting uncomfortably as they exchanged a few harsh whispers. She kept her gaze on Alexis though, telling her, "We're going to be stuck together for the next few days whether we like it or not. And since we're all adults here, if you have something to say, why don't you just come out and say it."
The room fell dead silent. No one had expected Beckett to actually retaliate and stand up for herself. She had been mainly passive so far, taking the boys' cool treatment toward her in stride.
Alexis was taken aback and it showed on her face. But all it took was one second to gather herself and slide her metaphorical armor on. She stood slowly, meeting Beckett's challenge head on.
Three years had gone by since Alexis had last seen Kate, and three years was plenty of time for her to grow into the young adult that she was. Her biting tone just went on to show she wasn't afraid of stepping up to the challenge.
"Why'd you come back? You don't seem to be doing anything useful around here. The only thing you've done is stir up old dust that's long settled."
Beckett smiled sardonically. She couldn't help it. The metaphorical "other shoe'' had finally dropped. The boys had been itching to confront her – she could feel it ever since her return to New York, but they had held back. Maybe it was the hints of naivety that still clung to Alexis that had given her the courage to come out and say that.
She was an adult, sure, but a young one at that, and Alexis still had many experiences to accumulate and plenty of growth to be done. Honesty wasn't always the best policy – sometimes hitting something sideways was better than the head on approach. But Kate cherished this. It was refreshing after all the half-truths and denial that she'd surrounded herself in. Katherine Beckett was no pushover.
"I came to New York because 3XK led me here. The investigation is moving forward slowly, but don't take that as an absence of progress."
Kate crossed her arms in front of her chest.
"And my return may have stirred up some old dust, as you put it, but that wasn't my intention when I flew to town."
Alexis saw Ryan and Esposito crowding closer. They still hung at the periphery, but it was obvious that their interests were piqued. Soft creaking from behind her let Alexis know her father was shifting, probably sitting straighter and up at the edge of the couch.
Was this information new to them? The way they were reacting led Alexis to believe that they'd never actually had a proper conversation with Kate. If Kate was willing to talk, then Alexis would be a fool to let this opportunity slip through her fingers.
"Kate," she said in a softer tone, "Why'd you leave us three years ago?"
Kate saw her guard shifting just a fraction but it was enough for the sincerity in Alexis' words and her pain to shine through.
Why'd you leave us.
Not New York, but us.
Kate's shoulders sagged a little as the fight left her. She hadn't realized that her departure would mean piling on to Alexis' insecurities and abandonment issues as well. They hadn't been all chummy-best-friends when Kate left, but they were definitely on the way to becoming a small family.
Kate didn't realize how badly she had hurt Alexis as well.
Maybe Lanie had been right. Maybe it was time to come clean and try to fix things. The relationships she had forged all those years ago might still be salvageable. But what was the point? Should she still try when she didn't even know what her plan was after this? What if she had to leave New York again? What if she'd just hurt her friends all over again?
Was it worth it?
The scraping sound of a chair against the floor jolted all of them out of their reverie. As one, they turned to the source of the sound. Lee froze where he stood, with a deer caught in the headlights look on his face. Straightening up, he cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably.
"Err, I'm just going to, erm," Lee stammered.
Kate felt her leader-persona slipping back in place. She cocked an eyebrow at him.
"I'm fine with whatever shift you want me for tonight, so I'm going to try and catch some rest now. In the bedroom," he clarified, pointing to the second bedroom. After a beat, he added rather redundantly, "You guys seem to have a lot to catch up on and look like you could use the privacy."
With that, Agent Lee quickly made his way over and shut the bedroom door with a resounding click.
Kate exhaled a long, shaky breath. Reaching for one of the wooden chairs surrounding their worktable, Kate turned it around so she could face the couch as she sank into the chair and gestured for the boys to come over.
They should know the truth behind the poor choice she made three years ago. They deserved it, and she owed it to them.
"Alexis, why don't you take a seat."
Kate didn't want to be towering over them as she held this conversation. She didn't want to go into this talk with her guard up and defensive from the get go.
Alexis sat back on the couch next to her father as Ryan and Esposito brought some chairs over, forming a makeshift circle. Not forgetting her job, Kate turned the computer screen so she could still keep an eye on the camera feed.
When she turned back to face the group, they were all looking at her expectantly.
"I don't know where to start," Kate blurted honestly.
Alexis leaned against her father, resting her head against his shoulder. "Why don't you start from the top?" Alexis suggested.
"Start from the job offer, Kate. When did you get it?" Castle murmured.
Kate took a deep breath and shut her eyes, collecting herself. When she opened her eyes, she was prepared to dive in.
"Remember the case we had with the military drones?" Kate asked, directing her question mainly at Ryan and Esposito since Castle already knew this part.
"Yeah, there was that Attorney General investigator guy," Esposito said, looking at Ryan.
"Agent Stack," Kate provided. "After we closed the case, he offered me a position in DC. To summarize, I went for the interview and got the job."
Ryan asked, "And you couldn't give us a heads up?"
"Don't feel sorry, even I didn't know about it," Castle cut in before she could answer, his steely tone indicating the bitter resentment still lingering after all these years.
"I was just exploring my options at that point, I wasn't even sure if I wanted the job!"
Castle clenched his hands. His next words were punctuated and low.
"We were together at the time. I deserved to know that!"
Kate didn't want to discuss their relationship in front of the others, so she decided the fastest way to move on was to apologize. "Okay, I'll admit it. In hindsight, that was on me, okay? That was my fault, and I'm sorry for not telling you earlier. Can we please move on?"
She was met with stony silence, so Kate took that as her cue to continue. "I turned down the job offer."
"What?" Alexis asked, confusion painted on her features clearly.
"I called you, to meet up," Kate said to Castle. "I wanted to apologize and tell you that I declined the job offer."
"So what happened?" he asked.
Kate had unconsciously gravitated her body forward throughout her narration of the events. At this point, she leant back against her chair. The counteroffer from Deputy Director Freedman was what happened. It had been the pivot for her turning point.
"I called DC to decline the job, and the person I spoke to, Deputy Director Freedman, he gave me another offer. He wanted me to lead their 3XK team because of my background expertise on him," she spat the word bitterly.
Shaking her head, Kate continued. "He offered me the choice to join on a trial basis. Go down for three months of training, lead a team and all that. Once we caught him, or if the trail turned cold for more than three months, I could decide to stay or go as I wanted."
"So you told him yes," Alexis deduced softly.
Kate had been looking at her shoes but she swung her head to look at Alexis. "No, I asked for some time to consider it. I… I wanted to discuss it with your father first," she hedged.
"But you didn't," Castle accused.
Kate looked at Castle uncertainly. "I… I couldn't."
He shot her a questioning look and Kate quickly continued. "Before I could tell you about it, the offer, you…" she trailed off, unsure of how to continue. Kate spoke hesitantly, "You said something before I could tell you about the offer."
"Said something?!" Castle asked, standing abruptly as he ran a hand through his hair. His expression was a mixture of frustration and incredulity.
"You mean proposed, right?" he continued, looking at her in disbelief, nostrils flaring as his chest heaved with extortion.
"What?" Esposito asked at the same time as Alexis said, "Dad you proposed?"
"So what, Kate? I proposed to you and as usual, you were afraid of committing so you decided to run to another job in a different state?!" Castle yelled at her.
"It's not like that, Castle, I wasn't running!" she retorted.
He turned away from her, rubbing a hand down his face. "You know what, Kate, I'm done with this. I don't even want to know your stupid reasoning anymore."
"Dad!"
"Castle!"
He ignored them, heading into the bedroom and closing the door behind him.
Kate dropped her head into her hands as she huffed in defeat.
Urgh! Why couldn't he just stay for the explanation?!
A/N: I'll keep it short: Please Review! :)