Chapter 104

Love is blindness

Patrick held the small mirror in front of his face as he worked his way through the list of words he had to work on. He grimaced as his lips and tongue seemed to resist moving into the position he knew they should be in to form the word.

Roger, his speech therapist, had been encouraging and kind but strict at the same time. He had told him it was going to be both a long and difficult process to get his speech back but that it would happen. He made it clear, in no uncertain terms, that Patrick would be expected to work hard every day and his success was entirely in his own hands. It had been two days since his first session and he was finding the whole process more frustrating than helpful. There were two year old children who could speak better than he could. He insisted that neither Robin nor Noah help him with his speech lessons - he was finding the experience marginally humiliating and the less witnesses the better.

The constant presence and willingness of both Robin and Noah to try and meet everyone of his needs, even before he asked for anything was wearing on him. Aware of the toll caring for him was taking on them, despite their denials, he wanted to be independent - he did not want to have to rely on either of them. When Robin first returned from her consultation in Port Charles, he had thought she was a little withdrawn but any questions he asked were met with the reassurance that she was just tired. He had asked his father's opinion about Robin and he too had reassured him that Robin had been running on little else than fumes for more than a week. At the end of the day he was left with little choice but to accept what they were both telling him.

Sighing deeply, he pursed his lips together and tried again. "C-c-c-rt" Growling, he hurled his mirror across the room. "F-f-f-rck" he yelled.

"Nice to see your potty mouth is still mostly unaffected" Eric snarked, leaning against the doorframe.

Looking over his shoulder towards the door, Patrick rolled his eyes.

Smiling, Eric crossed the threshold, closing the door behind him. "How goes it Pantsy?"

"S-sucks" he spat angrily.

"I see," he grinned. "So what you're telling me is that you're going to rebuild your vocabulary with all the bad words first?"

With a hint of a grin forming on his lips, Patrick stuck his tongue at his friend. Reaching for his white board, he uncapped the marker and wrote:

This is hard. And people are treating me like my brain is as impaired as my speech.

Sitting down on the corner of his bed Eric shrugged. "But that's not new is it? I mean I've always thought your brain was impaired."

In spite of himself, Patrick laughed. You are not as funny as you think you are.

"True dat" he nodded. "Seriously though - how are you?" Eric paid close attention to the reaction of his reflexes as he cradled the marker in his hand.

"O-o-okay" he stammered. Fatigued, balance is still off but no seizures or numbness.

"That's good news" he told him quietly. "You're making good progress." Patrick rolled his eyes. "Dude, I know it's hard and it is never going to happen fast enough for you because you are the world's most impatient human being but trust me, you're going to get there."

Before I'm 50?

"Maybe even before you're 40" he teased lightly.

I want people to stop fussing over me. I'm not incompetent

"People? Or Robin and your Dad?"

"Y-yes"

Eric let out a breath and looked his friend in the eye. "Pantsy, you're going to have suck that one up. They love you and they want to take care of you. And no one thinks you're incompetent but they know you need their help even if you're shit at asking for it." Patrick smirked, grinning wryly. "Look before your surgery there was not a lot either of them could do for you and you know first hand how aggravating that is. Now there is stuff they can do for you so maybe you just let them, okay?"

I'm not good at this

"None of us ever are" he told him. "But sometimes you just have to let other people help you."

Knowing his friend was right, Patrick exhaled quietly and nodded. Are you sticking around for a bit?

"Your dad said he was going to bbq in the garage and invited Alexis and I to stay for dinner and watch the game with you guys."

Patrick furrowed his brow and shot a curious look at his friend. Alexis?? Why is Alexis here? His eyes widened in shock as his friend blushed from his neck to the roots of his hair.

"We're ah....she's....I'm...she's my girlfriend" he finally said, tripping over his words.

"Sh-sh-shut ip!" Patrick exclaimed, grinning wildly.

It was Eric's turn to roll his eyes. "No need to make a federal case about it, you know. I met her through you and Robin and we hit it off."

A wistful look crossed his face. He was missing giant pieces of the last six months but in many ways it was the missing smaller moments that made him the saddest. His best friend had finally started to date again and he apparently had a role in making it happen - he wished he could remember that. He wished he could call upon the images of him pushing his friend to do something about the girl he liked; even he couldn't remember how it happened he was confident there was a lot of him pushing Eric involved.

Wow. Are you in love?

"What?" he exclaimed. "Since when do we do 'dear diary' moments?"

Holy shit. You are in love. Grinning sloppily, Patrick nodded his approval.

"Yeah, yeah whatever," he waved his hand dismissively with a smile on his face. Getting off the bed, he extended his hand to his friend. "Care to show me how your walking is coming?"

He nodded. I need a favour though

"Name it"

Do you know about the list I made?

Eric paused before nodding slowly. "Yes - you showed it to me once"

I want you to tell me more about it - I need to understand why I made it.

Twisting his mouth off to the side, he contemplated the best track to take. He knew his friend well enough to know he would not be easily put off but he was also aware that with his emotions so close to the surface, he could very easily set him off when he was not necessarily prepared to deal with his own reactions to things.

xxxxxx
"It's a beautiful home Noah" Alexis remarked as she settled on the couch. "The beach access during the summer must be to die for"

He smiled. "It is. I have been back here too many summers since Mattie died but it always was the perfect summer house."

"Pretty good winter house too" Robin remarked as she wrapped her hands around the hot chocolate.

"It's nice to have some life back in it" he said with sadness tingeing his voice.

He was grateful for how busy Patrick's care was keeping him. Though he had been up here before, during moments when he felt he needed to be close to Mattie, it felt different to be here with Patrick. It was as though a thousand ghosts had been unlocked and for as long as he was distracted by Patrick's needs then he could outrun or ignore them.

"I can see why Patrick wanted to come back here" Robin remarked. She had lived in a lot of houses but very few of them had the feeling of a home the way this place did.

"A lot of family memories are here" Noah's voice had a slight rasp to it. "Good ones" he added. Rising to his feet, he inhaled sharply. "I should go set those steaks to marinade - I'll be back in a little bit" Having excused himself, he disappeared to the kitchen.

Alexis watched as Noah walked away. Part of being a good trial lawyer was understanding body language and the slope of Noah's shoulders and his inability to sit still told her that there was more of a struggle going on than he was willing to admit. Eric had called her asking if she wanted to accompany him to the Hamptons. He told her that he wanted her company but he also wanted her opinion on how the household was holding up. Robin's outbursts and Noah's almost unnerving calm had not escaped his notice at the hospital and worried about the impact on all of them, he wanted to see for himself how everyone was doing.

"Noah has been great" Robin said as she followed Alexis' gaze "but I think he's finding it harder than he is willing to admit."

"He wouldn't be the only one" Alexis remarked softly as she cast a glance at the pale young woman beside her. "Anything going on with you that you care to talk about?"

Scrunching up her face, Robin shook her head. "Me? I'm fine Alexis. Happy to have him out of the hospital and I'm grateful that he's getting stronger every day."

With a small smirk, she turned to face Robin. "Robin, I'm a really, really good lawyer."

With a quizzical look on her face, she nodded her agreement, unsure of where it was all going.

"And that means I'm really good at spotting people who are being less than truthful. And I just wanted to let you know, in my professional opinion, your pants are on fire."

Robin's mouth dropped open slightly. "Really, Alexis I'm-"

She held up her hands. "It's not worth your energy to try and cover Robin. I know you and I know how much you like to take care of everyone around you often at your own expense. After you delivered Molly I promised you a lifetime a free legal advice. That also includes free advice period. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here and I'm a pretty good listener."

Her eyes welled with tears and she swallowed thickly. She still had not fully processed everything Alan had told her and it was like a weight pressing on her chest. She had started her new medication that morning and while she still had another day or two before the side effects would present themselves, the anticipation of them was as draining as the real thing.

"Actually" she said hoarsely, "I could use someone to talk to."