They all stand as the happy couple exits the church. I hear Tiffany in my headset "boss everything is in place at the Plaza hotel awaiting your instructions."

"Good tell the photographers that we will set up for pictures outside the hotel"

"Yes ma'am."

"Tiffany, make sure the cars are ready to transport the cargo on time."

"Yes will do."

"Make sure the hotel is aware that only top shelf liquor is to be served during cocktail hour, spare no expense."

"Yes ma'am"

I walk outside and Pat is eyeing me wearily "Is everything okay Ms. Mason?"

"Yes Patrick I'm fine next venue please" he looks at me and moves at once I never call him by his first name he knows not to press for details. My cell phone rings as I'm getting in the car. It's Alicia. "Hey!"

"The wedding was beautiful. How you holding up I saw you crying."

"I'm good I don't have long the second venue is not far from here."

"I know it's amazing how you got everything in such a close proximity of one another."

"Yeah we were ere damn lucky to get the Plaza hotel on New Year's Eve."

"Lucky" she laughs uncontrollably "I know you paid them a fortune."

"Yes a small one."

She was right. I damn near didn't get the venue. I ended up covering the cost as a wedding present to Juan and Leah they really have no idea how much I paid for this place. She interrupts my thoughts bring me to the here and now

"I will see you in ten stay strong."

"Okay see you soon." I'm not ready to tell her about the conversation Juan and I just had. Patrick is pulling up to the hotel. He jumps out of the car and scurries over to the rear passenger side door and opens it too quickly.

"Don't go far I will be leaving this event early"

"May I speak freely Ms. Mason?"

"By all means" where is he going with this?

"You are a beautiful person in and out and any man that does not see that is a damn fool"

I look at Patrick and smile warmly. He is so much like my father he is caring and over protective.

"Thanks Pat, stay close I'll call you on my cell when I'm ready to leave."

"Yes Ma'am."

I give him a warm hug and make my way to the hotel. There are so many people. I turn on my head set. "Tiffany what is the ETA of the bride and groom?"

"Two minutes ma'am."

"Have the others walking around to make sure the guest are happy I want there glasses over flowing and their mouths filled with appetizers."

"Yes Ma'am."

The reception area is filled with so many people they are all talking and laughing and seem to be having a ball. This is always a good sign. I walk around and listen to the conversations- they enjoyed the ceremony and are love the Bloody Mary shooter with shrimp. Alcohol and food what's not to love? We opted for a seafood explosion and there are mini crab cakes floating around, mushrooms stuff with crabs and shrimp. The guests seem to be enjoying themselves immensely. I look around and spot the manger of the hotel. I walk over to him and smile he looks quite pleased with how things are going thus far.

"Ms. Mason is everything up to your standards?"

"Yes, Matthew I'm very pleased I want no one not being tended to everyone is suppose to be drunk and happy by the time we make our way to the grand ballroom"

"Yes ma'am I will keep my people in here they work better and more efficiently with me being in plain sight."

"I will need to check out the space to make sure it's up to my company's standards. We have a long upstanding relationship and there are some heavy hitters at this event and it could be lucrative for both parties."

"I see, we will not let you down, it's a pleasure to do business with you. Follow me."

I walk briskly behind him as he takes me through the service entrance. The room is breathtaking; the grand ballroom has been recently restored. It looks like a modern day castle. The tables are arranged with four feet tall candle operas and huge bouquets of white and pink roses dripping with strands of pearls and diamond hanging throughout the design. The lighting in the room is a soft pink- very similar to the church. I must remember to use this lighting company in the future. The dance floor shows the initials J&L in the center of the floor, it's amazing what they can do with lights. My headset comes to life "Ms. Mason, the bride and groom have just arrived. Do you want me to bring them in?"

"Yes, please do, I'm in the grand ball room"

I like to show my bride and groom the space before everyone else. This lets me know I brought their dreams to life. I survey the room and everything is in place. The wedding cake is pink and white. The cake itself is made of sugar roses and looks so real. I'm tempted to check that there not real. There are diamond accents throughout the cake it looks nothing like a traditional cake but let's be honest this is no ordinary wedding; the budget on this weeding is definitely over the top. I hear the staff doors opening and Leah scream with joy of how beautiful this room looks. She walks over to me and grabs me in a tight embrace. "Thank you Tori this place is stunning!"

"I'm glad you're pleased" Juan gives me a small smile and mouth "Thank You!"

"This is so beyond all of my dreams you have made this a day that will forever be in my heart."

"I aim to please. Let's greet your guest we have a party to start"

She looks at Juan and he looks at me and smiles. Juan grabs her hand and kisses her cheek and hugs her tightly. "Let's start the party". With that I see all the love that he has for her and I say a silent pray that one day I find someone who will look at me and love me the way that he loves her. I tell them that they have to exit via the staff entrance because they have to make a grand entrance once we start the reception. They both agree and exit. I tell my crew to open the doors and help guest find their seats. The bridal party makes their way in first. The brides maids are wearing a lovely pearl pink off -the -should chiffon dress that hug there curves beautifully. There is no one in the bridal party that is bigger than a size four. They are accompanied by Juan's bothers and cousin who are all dressed in black tuxes with light pink waist bands. They all look like great. I make my way through the crowd and tell the MC to announce the bride and groom. "Welcome Mr. and Mrs. Mateo" hearing the MC announce them hurt less than I thought it would. Maybe I can get though this they look so happy. I see Alicia and she is giving me a warm smile, I smile back. Only she and Juan know my real pain but this is right. I love Juan and I want him to be happy and if Leah makes him happy than I can't help but see the joy in this situation. As we move through the evening I find Tiffany and tell her I'm about to leave when Juan and Leah stand. Juan has a microphone in his hand "We would like to thank you all for coming and sharing this special day with us, we really want to give our thanks to the woman who help make Leah dream come true of the perfect wedding." I look down feeling self conscious please don't embarrass me Juan I don't think I can take it. "Can you join me in a warm round of applause for my very dear friend Victoria Mason? She is awesome and her professionalism is confounding she made this evening possible." I look up and fight back tears and mouth the word "Thank You!"

Juan and Leah make their ways back to their seats I exhale I have to get out of here. This is more than I can take I tell Tiffany that I have to leave because of a migraine. She wishes me well I make my way to the bride and groom to give them my well wishes and leave out the staff entrance. I made it and the wedding was beautiful what a hell of a way to bring in my New Year. I head to the car and Patrick is waiting out front I didn't even have to call him. I know Alicia is going to blow my phone up, but I don't feel like talking. "Patrick can you play some music?"

"Sure Ms. Mason what would you like to hear?"

"Nothing sad no rap something up beat."

"Got it, are we headed home?"

"Yes where else do I have to go take the long way though."

I hear Michael Jackson Pretty Young Thing. He knows how much I love Michael Jackson I miss him he was the best. My heart feels heavy but I start dancing in my seat I love this song. Thank God for Patrick. I remember when he caught me dancing to this song in my penthouse he tried hard not to laugh at me I was so embarrassed. I start to laugh to myself and m phone starts ringing. Shit is Alicia not now I hit ignore and get into the song it goes off and I hear Rock with you and that does it I ready to dance the pain I feel away. My phone rings again damn it Alicia is as persistent as ever. I ignore it again and really start singing. Patrick is trying hard not to laugh at me he is enjoying the show. This is the first time all night I feel like dancing. My cell phone dings letting me know I have a new text message. It's from Alicia

U okay answer the phone! Don't make me come find you!

She is a trip I tell Pat to hit repeat on the song he looks up and smiles "Yes Ma'am"

I text her back:

I'm okay just need to get away I'm jamming in my car to MJ I'll be fine.

She texts me back right away:

Can me and Jacob spend the night don't feel like heading back to NJ so late

I take a deep breath then text her back:

Sure could use the company, use your key and make yourself at home I going out for a drink.

"Pat can you take me to the nearest bar" he looks at me in shock I really drink but I think tonight calls for stiff drink. He shakes his head and says "Right away Ms. Mason would you like me to accompany you inside ma'am?"

"No that will not be necessary I won't be long I just need a stiff drink been a long day"

He shakes his head, but makes no move to say anything else. I know I have an apartment full of liquor. I really don't want to be by myself I have some thinking to do. This is the start of a new year and I want it to be happy I need a New Years Eve resolution. The bar he finds is secluded and intimate. I love the atmosphere I guess he chose this place because it doesn't present a security problem. Patrick is a worry wart didn't think I would need security until I got my first death threat who would have thought I would piss so many people off with the virtue protector. I lead a very low profile life besides being in Forbes magazine no one really knows who I am. I like it this way the few men I have tried to date in the past feel very intimidate by my wealth. I have to make my mind up on what I'm looking for and what I want in a man so that I can be happy like all my friends. Do I really want to be married? I would like to be with someone who loves me unconditionally. I think I do want to be married but that can't be my New Years Eve resolution. I shake my head and the waitress walks up to the table "Happy New Year, welcome to J.C's what can I get you?"

"Courvoisier L'Esprit if you have it"

"We sell that by the bottle"

"No problem bring the bottle"

"Ma'am I have to tell you the price of this is 10,000 a bottle."

"Not a problem" I hand her my black Amex card. She starts blushing she read the name on the card and turns ghost white.

"Ms. Mason right away"

I think she recognizes my name and she is looks flush.

"Thank You"

I pull out a piece of paper from my purse time to make a list of all the things I need to do this year.

I have to lose some weight.

This one is a biggie. I hate working out I have all types of exercise equipment in my home but I never use it maybe if I join a gym and see other people working out I might get into it. I have had four personal trainers and shit never works out. I think it's time for me to do this on my own. Maybe I should get over my fear and just have surgery. The last time I weighed myself I was 290 pounds. I hold my weight well, but it's getting to be much too fast. I been on every diet you can think of I don't know how I'm gaining so much weight I rarely eat full meals. I'm always on the go grabbing a meal here or there when I can.

Get Laid

I need to stop reading all these sexy erotic books and get into a real relationship. I look up and my waitress is walking with her manger over to my table.

"Ms. Mason"

"Yes how can I help you?"

"I just wanted to come over and introduce myself your drinks are on the house"

"That will not be necessary I have expensive taste and I can afford it"

"Yes ma'am I am aware of that but your bottle of cognac is on me you saved my daughter's life with your devices she was abducted and the GPS on your device kept her from God know what I just want to thank you and let you know your business is welcome here anytime."

I look up at him in shock I wasn't expecting this at all I pleased that his daughter is safe.

"Thank you that is most kind of you what's your name?"

"Mark Coleman ma'am I the owner of this establishment" he extends his hand out and I graciously accept it. He tall and in his late forties he is very distinguished looking. He is very attractive for his age. My thoughts are interrupted by him.

"My wife and I owe you the world she will be pleased when I tell her I have met you and would expect nothing less than me paying for your drink."

"I'm sure she would object to the price of this, but I will take you up on the offer. I'll probably on have one glass anyway but, thank you."

"Are you waiting for the rest of your party?" I look up and wonder how this is any of his business but I answer without words and shake my head no its just lonely old me.

"Well I'll let you get on with your evening and Happy New Year Ms. Mason"

"Happy New Years Mr. Daniels" with that he takes his leave and I'm left alone with my list. I take a sip of the cognac and it's exquisite. I allow myself to really enjoy my drink no one has ever paid for my drinks it makes me feel like a lady. I smile to myself and my thoughts go back to Juan in his tuxedo and my heart aches with pain. Patrick has made his way inside he is casing the bar to make sure there is no threat. All ways on duty I have to remember to give him a raise he is always there. I have to get him some help don't want to take any years off his life need him around for the long haul crazy to think he has been with my for four years already. My thoughts are interrupted by my cell phone ringing oh shit it's my mother what the hell does she want its two in the morning she should be sleep. "Hi Mom how are you?" Olivia Mason is not a woman of few words this conversation could go on all night if I let it. Got to keep it brief.

"Darling, I wanted to wish you a Happy New Year I figured the wedding would be over by now and you would have time to talk". She is a great mom, but we always had a strained relationship and it's a shock to hear her being caring. "Yes, the wedding was a success."

"Did you meet anybody?" here she goes we haven't been on the phone five minutes yet and she already fishing for information. "No mom, I didn't have time to mingle I was working." She obviously didn't want to hear that she is huffing and puffing into the phone. "Well how do you expect to meet anyone when you're not trying honestly; I would like to meet my grand children before I die." She is so full of shit she has two grand children courtesy of my sister. "Mom you are already a grandmother two times over. Give me a break for crying out loud" she is so infuriating. Why does she want me to get married so badly? "Sweetheart, you know I love you and you can tell me anything are you a lesbian?" oh my God did she just ask me that. "No I'm not mom I have to go." If I know my mom she is pacing the floor and my dad is sitting there looking at her shaking his head. Vincent Mason is the most patient caring man I know. I know she wants me to be like her and daddy, but my life is not shaping up like that right now. Dad must have taken the phone from her cause he on the phone "Baby excuse your mother she has had too much to drink. How are you dear?" My dad and I are very close he is very protective of me. He knows how much I want to be in a relationship and he also knows how I feel about myself. "Daddy, its okay she just being her" fighting back tears this mind fucking day will not end. I take a big slip of my cognac. "Are you home?" Shit I know he will not like me being out by myself at a bar on New Years. "No I'm just about to head home just stopped for a quick drink with a friend." Patrick is looking at his watch it must be getting late. "Sweetheart go home and call me in the morning well go to lunch I'm sure the wedding was a success." I glance at my watch shit its damn near three in the morning. "Okay Dad will do Love you tell mom I love her too." I down the rest of my drink and hold up my glass to the owner he nods. "Okay sweetie have a good night and I love you more baby girl." The waitress is back filling my glass again. I call Patrick over and tell him I will be ready to go once I finish this drink. He nods and leaves. I assume it's to go fetch the car. The cognac has started to make its way through my blood stream. I'm feeling all warm and go back to my list.

Marry a man that cares for me like my father does for my mother. He loves my mom with his whole heart. They've been together almost 35 years he still talks about her like a school boy. He accepts her with all of her faults and loves her anyway. He once told me my mom was like his air without her he wouldn't know how to breathe. I want a man to love me like that one day. I down the rest of my drink and rise to leave when the owner comes over with the remainder of my bottle in his hand.

"Would you like to take the rest with you?"

"No thank you I have a bottle at home thank you for all your time have a great rest of the evening."

"Please come back and see us again."

I make a mental note to visit this bar again. I rise and grab my purse and neatly fold my list into the pocket of my blazer. Patrick is out front with the rear passenger door open. I smile briefly at him and he greets me. "Home Ma'am?"

"Yes home." Patrick has a room in my penthouse shit there are so many unused room in my home. I wonder briefly which guest room Alicia and Jacob decided to take. The ride home is very short and quiet. I didn't opt for music just silence. When I arrive home Alicia and Jacob are sitting on the couch. Alicia looks worried but doesn't voice it she greets me with a warm hug and holds me at arm's length "How you holding up?"

"I'm good glad this day is over" she grabs my hand and hugs me again this hug releases all the pain of the day and I cry in her arms. Jacob stands and places his hand on my shoulder and exits to give me and his wife some time alone.

"Let's get you a cold glass of water" Alicia and her mother hen tactics I'm surprise she doesn't want to tuck me into bed and giving me some hot coco.

"Okay" I'm so tired of feeling like the victim this is all my damn fault Juan should have known how I felt about him from the beginning this is my own fault and I have decided to let this go for the New Year this is number four on my list to let Juan go for go. I have to tell her how it went when I confessed.

"I told him how I felt"

"You… what, when "

I spent the next thirty minutes pouring out my soul to her reliving the night. When I finish the only thing she could do was hold me.

"It's his fucking loss your perfect" perfect yeah right who wants someone that as big as I am? "Perfect I don't think so?" she looked at me and she grabs my hand.

"No one has a heart like you, you are kind, caring, compassionate you have the biggest heart I have ever seen so what you're not a size two who the fuck give a damn your great and the right man will see pass everything on the outside and love you for you not for what you look like." She hugs me tight.

"I'm thinking about having surgery this month" She looks at me with distain.

"You know that shit is dangerous."

"Hell is more dangerous for me to remain this size I think I'm going to meet with a doctor and look into it."

"Whatever you decide I'm here for you, but just so you know you can look like a supermodel and still feel this way about yourself surgery can't fix years of self hating"

Shit she right I have to learn how to love myself this should be number one on my list of resolutions. "Your right I got to love me before I love someone else. I will work on this for the New Year"

She looks at me and smiles "Good glad to hear it" she looks down at her watch and its four thirty in the morning. "Jacob must be cursing me out will you be okay?"

"Yes go ahead tell him I'm sorry"

"He will be okay he knows how close we are love you sis see you in the morning"

"How about afternoon" she laughs and gives me a huge hug and goes to the guest room on the far side of the penthouse. In the morning I will call my doctor and make perpetrations for my transformation.