Chapter 106

It's just another ordinary miracle today

Propped up against the pillows, Alexis smiled lazily as Eric stepped out of his jeans. Picking them up from the floor he folded them neatly and hung them over the back of the chair in the far corner of his room. Turning around and seeing Alexis' wanton look, his skin flushed. "What are you staring at?"

"You" she told him unapologetically. "You have a lot of nice clothes and despite what Patrick said tonight I actually think you can dress yourself but more than anything, I like you naked the best."

He crawled to her on the bed with a sloppy grin on his face. Each morning he woke up almost in disbelief that he had found someone like her, that he had found someone who could make him feel the way she did. Seizing her lips with his own he tugged her on top of him and kissed her passionately. Their tongues tangled together in languid familiarity and Alexis could not help but moan as she pressed against his smooth skin.

Breathless, they reluctantly broke apart. Glassy eyed with desire, he pushed her bangs from her face as he stared lovingly at her. "Thank you for coming with me today" he told her. "It means a lot."

Laying on her side, her head propped up on her hand she leisurely trailed her hand along his chest. "I was happy to do it" she said. "Robin and Patrick are important to me - Robin especially."

"How did you find her?" he asked as he pressed a kiss to her neck.

She paused for a moment to consider her answer. She would not betray her friend's confidence but didn't want to lie to her boyfriend either. "She's struggling a little" she finally admitted. "There's a lot going on with her and she's worried for Patrick." He nodded his understanding. "How was Patrick?"

"Ouf" he sighed. "It depends on the moment. He's frustrated about his speech and his lack of memory. When he's just focusing on what's in front of him he's okay but when he's trying to grasp for what's missing and not getting it I can feel him panic."

"And as his doctor, what did you find?" she pressed gently.

A small grimace worked across his face before disappearing as quickly as it appeared. "There is still a slight tremor in his hand under pressure that's causing me some concern."

She continued to stroke her hand across his broad smooth chest as she felt the tension forming in his muscles. Everyone was paying a price for Patrick's illness and recovery, including Eric. "I thought you said residual tremors were likely."

He nodded. "They are and in most other patients they would be acceptable."

"But in Patrick?"

"He's a surgeon. He can't go back in the OR if he doesn't have steady hands."

Alexis knew that he held himself to a near impossible standard where Patrick was concerned. Anything short of a perfect recovery was tantamount to failure in his books and it was taking a toll on him. Snuggling in closer to him she laid a trail of soft kisses along his arm and shoulder.

"Why don't you come down this weekend?" she asked, "the girls have been dying to go ice skating and I was thinking we could do it together."

Eric closed his eyes briefly as a quick smile formed on his lips. Opening his eyes, he stole a quick kiss. "I have an appointment on Saturday afternoon, so I wouldn't be able to come until Sunday."

Furrowing her brow together, Alexis pulled herself to a sitting position. "What kind of an appointment?"

Mirroring her, he drew the back of his finger across her cheek. "It's a check up with my oncologist."

Panic swept through her and her breathing shallowed. "A ch-check up? Is something wrong?"

"No" he told her reassuringly. "I got my five year all clear a few months back but because of how the cancer progressed in me when I was sick I have to have a check up every six months."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes" Seeing her eyes well with tears and trickle down her cheeks, Eric looked at her in surprise. "Hey." He swiped at the tears with the pads of his thumb, "Hey. What's wrong?"

Sniffling, she shook her head. "I just….I don't know what I'd do….you always talk about your cancer in the past."

"It is in the past" he said emphatically. "This is just to make sure it stays there."

"I don't know what I'd do if I lost you" she whispered tearfully.

Her relationship with Eric was a process of letting go of old habits and learning once again to trust. Having worked so hard to let her defences down even the mere hint of it coming off the rails was enough to send her into a panicked tailspin.

"I'm right here" Taking her hand he placed it over his heart. "I'm right here Alexis and I'm not going anywhere."

Sweeping her hand over his skin, she dipped her head and seized his lips in a hard, needful kiss. Pushing him on to his back she straddled his hips and began to cover his skin in kisses. His hands roamed the length of her back as he returned her kisses, suckling on her soft skin. He pushed his hips up against her as she continued to take possession of his body.

Feeling his arousal brush against her hot centre she lifted her head and stared at him, her eyes still damp with tears.

"I'm right here" he repeated. "I'm not leaving you."

Moving further down his body she slipped him inside her and started to rock her hips against his. Their rhythm is slow and steady as he continued to reassure her with words and touches that she can trust him - that she can trust herself. But passion and desire soon surged to the forefront and they rolled around on the bed, pushing and pulling, tasting and touching, climbing faster towards the edge. His tongue thrust inside the silky softness of her mouth in time with his hips and a sheen of perspiration covered their bodies until they both paused for a moment before free falling over the edge together.

Alexis lay on top of him, panting. Her hair was pressed to her face and as she tiredly lifted her head, she smiled. "I love you"

They were words she never thought she would say again – not to a partner at least and while reason told her she should hold back and not open herself so quickly, her heart told her to rush forth, that it would be worth it.

Flipping over and sweeping her underneath him, Eric hovered just above her with a goofy grin on his face.

"What?" she asked cautiously.

He nipped at tip of her nose and then her lips. "You said it first" he beamed.

Rolling her eyes in mock irritation, she sighed heavily. "Yes, yes. I said it first. Am I going to hear it back any time soon? And if you are contemplating making me wait, I would like to remind you that I was a good girlfriend who feigned interest in your little gladiators on skates game earlier tonight."

His blue eyes danced happily. "First of all, there is nothing little about hockey. It is large and loud and hard-"

"Kind of like you" she teased, enjoying the reddening of his cheeks.

"Second of all" he carried on, his face becoming serious. "I love you. Very, very much."

xxxx

Emerging from the bathroom with her face freshly washed and dressed in a tank top and shorts, Robin pulled back the covers and crawled into the bed beside her boyfriend. It had been one of the best nights she had spent in a long time. For a few hours every difficulty seemed forgotten and they lived in the moment. Sharing her news with Alexis also did much to relieve the stress she was feeling; there were still so many feelings of anxiety and uncertainty churning inside her but telling someone about it and not having them freak out made it more manageable.
Looking over at Patrick propped up against several pillows with his eyes closed, she smiled. There was a long way to go yet but he was more like himself than he had been in quite some time.

She gently touched his shoulder. "Patrick – don't you want a shirt? You're normally cold through the night."

He had lost so much weight leading up to his surgery that his ribs poked through clearly. He was almost always cold and had taken to layering several t-shirts on top of each other. Opening his eyes, he shook his head.

"No" he responded quietly.

There was a glint in his eye causing Robin to arch her eyebrow. "Oh? You want to be naked?"

He nodded. "Y-you"

Wrinkling her brow, she cocked her head to the side. "You want me to be naked too?"

He nodded again. Pausing for several beats Robin simply stared at him. In the week that he had been released, they had spent every night together, wrapped around each other. They had kissed and occasionally fumbled for each other but there had not been much interest or energy for more. She knew her boyfriend well and with the apples of his cheeks burning brightly, she understood what he wanted. Gripping the hem of her tank top she pulled it over her head and tossed it to the side of the bed. Kicking back the covers she slid her shorts down her lean, muscular legs and tossed them in the same direction of her tank top.

She smiled warmly as Patrick reached for her. The feel of his hands on her skin, even just a slight touch made her body hum.

"I doubt that you are cleared for sex" she told him kindly.

He opened his mouth several times and tried to make his tongue form the words that balanced on its tip but they would not come. Sighing in defeat, he reached for his board.

I'm not but you are.

Having read his note, Robin cupped his cheek. "Babe, we can wait" she told him softly. "I'm happy just to be with you as we are."

Shaking his head, he erased his board and wrote again. I want to touch you. Feel you. I need to touch you.

While having HIV had made her cautious on the dating scene, she had had her share of lovers but there had been none who had ever made her feel as desirable or as attractive as Patrick did. He could do it with a look, a word or a kiss. He was a former playboy who could have almost any woman he wanted but she was the only one he was interested in. She had worried at times that she wasn't exciting enough for him, not daring enough but he had never made her feel that way; with him she felt sexy and wanted.

Cupping the back of his head, she pulled him towards her and kissed him lustfully. Her hands swept over his shoulders and he swallowed down her moan as his tongue dove inside her velvety warm mouth. When he reluctantly let go of her lips, he moved his mouth to her neck and then her earlobe before sucking softly on her shoulder.

His hands rove over her body reacquainting themselves with the curves and swells he knew by heart. He had no idea how long it had been since they had made love and as she arched off the bed upwards towards him he sensed it had been longer than he realized. His thumbs grazed her nipples, flicking them as they hardened under his touch.

As his hand slipped between her thighs, teasing and trailing up her legs and over her hips, she reached for him again, fastening her mouth to his. As weeks of pent up fear and worry and frustration rose inside her, she felt like a starving person who had discovered a stash of food. Her chest heaved as his tongue curled around hers; her blood was pumping furiously through her.

He dipped his head to her chest and closed his lips around her nipple, laving it with his tongue. Her eyes fluttered closed in desire and a soft groan flew from the back of her throat. He moved to her other breast and her hand flew to the back of his head, urging him to take more, to go deeper. Heeding her silent request, Patrick traced circles over her nipple. His blood raced through his body as well, as though he was finally waking up after a long slumber.

There was not much he could trust – memories were foggy or non-existent, his speech was mangled and difficult, but this was something he could trust. He could show her that he loved her; he could, in this moment, be a man to her because there was so many other ways he could not.

He slipped his fingers inside her and began to slowly pump them. Robin nearly came off with the sensations coursing through her body. His tongue continued to explore her golden skin as she started to spin out of control. He was taking her to the brink and she was shocked at how badly she wanted to be there. Her hips pushed off the bed, hungry for more and she scratched her nails along his back as he took her over the edge. She cried out his name as she came apart against him.

Her eyes stayed tightly clenched as her body buzzed in after shocks. Her heart rate began to slow and she slowly opened her eyes, meeting Patrick's gaze.

His head was pounding lightly from the exertion and he had pushed himself to the point of exhaustion but he had wanted to feel her. He was plagued by doubts of so many things and in dark moments was unsure if she was with him out of some misplaced obligation. But when they were intimate, when they were together like that there was only ever honesty between them.

Seeing his eyes droop with fatigue she reached out and stroked his cheek. "Are you okay?" she asked quietly. She snuggled into him and pulled the blankets tightly around both of them, dropping a kiss over his heart.

"Y-yes" he stammered. "Now."