Chapter 109

Hold out your heart and on it let the sun shine down

Having pulled the navy cashmere turtleneck over his head, Patrick threaded his belt through the loops and grimaced to himself as he moved it two spaces back from where he normally did it up. He briefly considered going on a binge of potatoes, beer and pizza for a few weeks in hopes that it would put on a few much needed pounds but dismissed it. The weight would come back as would his hair and his speech. All he needed was a little patience. Something that had never been his strong suit.

Walking out to the kitchen he paused at the doorway and watched his father using a glass to cut out rounds from dough on the kitchen table. His lips curved upwards in a smile as he noticed the look of intense concentration on Noah's face.

"Wh-what you doing?" he asked as he came through.

With a sheepish look on his face, Noah gave a small shrug of his shoulders. "Well as the smell of the chilli you made started to work its way through the house I remembered that your mom used to make cornbread biscuits. I went down to the basement and rifled through some stuff and found the recipe. I thought maybe you and Robin would like them."

"Th-thanks."

As Robin had left early that morning for Port Charles Patrick had been struck by the desire to create a date night for her. Knowing that she was struggling with something and not willing to share it with him had shaken him. As the first flash of anger had dispersed he was left wanting to do something special for her. Though he wanted to take her into town, wining and dining her, he had neither the strength nor the stamina for such an outing. With Noah's help he had made a pot of chilli and set up the living room. Noah had promised to make himself scarce for a few hours so they could just be with each other.

Noah cast a critical look over his son and nodded his approval. "You're looking better. There's some colour to your cheeks and you've actually got some hair growing in"

He ran his hand over the prickly stubble of his head and sighed quietly. It was a silly, shallow thing to be upset about given everything he had come through but he missed his hair. It was jarring to look in the mirror and see a shaved head - his reflection didn't seem familiar at all. There were moments he wondered if he was living in some kind of alternate reality and all he had to do was wake up and he would be back in the apartment with his girlfriend.

"Not g-good bald" he stated.

"Meh" Noah shrugged. "It makes you look tougher." He laughed as his son rolled his eyes in response. "Okay, the biscuits are good to go. 15 minutes in the oven when you're ready and everything is all set. I'm just going to run upstairs and change and I'll be out of your hair." He paused. "Or not as the case may be."

Groaning, Patrick pulled his pen from his back pocket and tossed it at his father who beat a hasty retreat from the kitchen.

At the stove he stirred the chilli and smiled to himself. It wasn't fine dining and not the stuff of grand romantic legends but it was something he had managed to do himself. And that small reclamation of his independence did more for his spirit than anything else could. Sliding the lid on the pot, he walked back to the living room and started to light the candles that Noah had helped him to place around the room.

When he was 15 they had come up to house one weekend in February and got caught in a severe snowstorm that had knocked out the power. Noah kept the house heated with the gas stove in the kitchen and the fireplace in the living room. Mattie had unearthed every available candle in the house and set them up in the living room. As the day had given way to night, the room took on an almost magical glow with all the candles and the image had stuck with Patrick. There was no snowstorm this time around but he was hoping there was a little magic left in the candles.

"Something smells really good!" Robin called as she came through the back door. Dropping her bag she walked through the kitchen and into the living room, coming to a stop as she saw all the candles. "Wow" she said softly.

Chewing nervously on the inside of his cheek, Patrick smiled shyly. "Hi" he greeted her. "M-m-missed you."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "This...this is for me?" He nodded. Robin crossed the room to where he stood and slid her hands around her waist. "It's nice to be missed" she told him kindly.

Slipping his finger underneath her chin, he tipped her face upwards and slowly lowered his mouth to hers, finally closing his lips over hers in a whispered kiss. Rising up on her tiptoes, Robin cupped the back of his head and deepened the kiss.

"A girl could get used to greetings like that" She swept her hand across his chest. "And you're dressed in real clothes. - I forgot how well you wear clothes."

He waggled his eyebrows as he slid his arms around her hips and cupped her behind, pulling her closer to him. "You....okay?" he asked.

Robin smiled. "I am. It was good for me to go and I'm happy to be back."

"H-hungwy?" he asked.

A small look of panic crossed her face but she covered as best she could. While the food smelled appetizing she doubted her ability to eat it and keep it down. The plane ride back from Port Charles had her munching down on a full sleeve of crackers and two cans of gingerale in an effort to settle her stomach. But looking around the room and seeing the effort he had made she knew she needed to try.

"Yes" she replied with a grin she did not quite feel. "I'm just going to change -give me two minutes?"

He nodded and watched her appreciatively as she walked down the hallway to the bedroom.

xxxxx
Alone in the bedroom, Robin rifled through her drawer until she found what she was looking for - two tablets of dramamine. She swallowed them down hoping they would do the trick and get her through dinner. She was tired from the emotion of the day but seeing Patrick dressed in jeans and a sweater rather than his uniform of sweatpants and a t-shirt, looking more like himself, allowed her to believe that the worst might truly be behind them. He was recovering and she was getting her viral load back on track - it was going to be fine. Pulling off her bulky sweater, she reached for a cardigan and slipped it on over her tank top, quickly doing up the buttons as she headed back to the living room.

Patrick had set two heaping bowls of chilli and a small plate of biscuits so fresh from the oven that she could see the steam rising into the air on the coffee table and was sitting on the floor waiting for her. Robin smiled happily as she took a seat on the cushion next to him. He passed the white board to her.

I remember some lazy days at the apartment, hanging out on the couch doing nothing but just being together and I was hoping we could do the same thing tonight. Just be the two of us.

Placing the white board down, she reached up and brushed her lips against his ear. "I love it when it's just the two of us" she whispered sending shivers through his body. Feeling his hand slip underneath her sweater and then her tanktop and run the length of her back, she arched into him. "God, I love you hands"

"Hands l-l-love you" he replied with a wink before seizing her lips in a wet, wanton kiss. As their tongues tangled around each other's, Robin's hands flew to his hair encouraging him to kiss her harder, deeper. Moving his hand around to the front, he trailed his fingertips along her taut abdomen and upwards until he was kneading her breast, dragging his thumb along her nipple.

"Patrick" she panted as he moved to her neck, the faintest hint of stubble scratching her soft skin. "Dinner.....it's going to get cold."

He pulled away from her long enough to push the coffee table back. Tugging on the sleeves of her cardigan, he pulled it from her and casually tossed it to the side. He laid her against the floor and pressed himself against her. Robin parted her legs, allowing him to settle between them as her hands burrowed under his sweater, stroking his soft skin. He moaned as he kissed her shoulder, the vibrations moving straight from her centre to her fingertips and toes. Her nipples puckered and hardened through the soft cotton of her tanktop. She panted and her chest heaved as Patrick closed his mouth around the hardened peak and sucked it through her tanktop. Their hips began to rock together in unison as they explored each other with a fervent need.

Patrick's sweater joined hers on the arm of the couch and then her tanktop was added. The heat from the fire was increased by the heat between them. She arched into his as he covered her breast with his hand, massaging it, rolling the nipple between his fingertips. He repeated his ministrations on the other breast and she was sure she was going to jump out of her skin as he drove to the edge.

Desperate to regain some control, she gently pushed him off of her and onto to his back. Straddling his legs, she stretched out against him, peppering his chest with tiny kisses. She ran her tongue along the outline of his tattoo, smiling to herself as his hips came off the floor and pressed further against her. He slipped a hand inside her jeans and his fingers danced teasingly along her hip. They both knew they were getting to the point of no return and with enormous reluctance Robin rolled off of him, panting and laid beside him. Patrick groaned in protest at the loss of contact and turning on his side, stroked her cheek.

Robin kissed his palm and smiled hazily. "Soon" she said, "very soon we're going to able to be together completely and it's going to be amazing."

With his speech once again tied up in notes, he reached for the board and wrote:

There's no reason why I can't take you there now

Propping up on her elbow, she smiled lovingly at him. "You can take me there with just the sound of your voice most days" she told him, "but Patrick I'm not interested in just getting off. I don't have words to describe how amazing I feel when we're moving together, when you're buried deep inside me and I can feel every twitch and tremble - when we're both going to the same place. So if it's okay with you, I'll wait until we can get there together."

Patrick shook his head in wonder. Every time he was sure he had her figured out she would surprise him yet again. "Am-mazing" he said, "you - amazing"

Robin kissed him softly, revelling in their connection. "I think our dinner has gone cold" she chuckled softly as she let go of his lips.

"Oh well" he laughed. Reaching for her he gathered her in his arms and hugged her tightly. "Love you" he whispered against her ear. "Much"

xxxxx
After reheating their dinner and watching a movie they tumbled exhaustedly into bed. Still having difficulty sleeping through the night, Patrick woke up and stared at the ceiling. There were flashes of memories that taunted him yet nothing he could grab hold of. He dreamed about playing pool and dancing at Jake's but was at a loss to determine if they were flashbacks, older memories or simply hints of what he'd like to do once he got home. Disappointed with the lack of progress his memory was making relative to everything else and knowing there would be no sleep for a while now, he gently pushed back the covers and padded out to the kitchen in search of a glass of water and some perspective.

Blindly reaching for the light switch he jumped as the kitchen lit up. Seated at the table, with two shoe boxes stuffed with papers was his father. Lost in deep thought, he stared unblinkingly straight ahead. Following his gaze, Patrick clenched his jaw as he saw the bottle of Bourbon on the table.

"Dad?" he called tightly.

Slowly turning his head, his eyes rimmed red and his bottom lip quivering he looked quickly at his son and then looked away.

Rage ripped through Patrick as so many painfully memories flooded his brain. Stalking across the kitchen he picked up the unopened bottle and hurled it across the room. It shattered as it hit the wall with shards of glass flying everywhere. The dark amber liquid bled down the wall into a puddle on the floor.

"ASSHOLE" Patrick hissed.