Here we go…. The next chapter is picking up where chapter 16 ended. Thank you for reading and for your reviews!!! I hope I'm not going tooooo OOC with this.
Under cover(s) – 17
They stared at each other for a moment, then she repeated her question.
"Why were you grinning?"
He moistened his lips and lied. "Andrew's fixation on fingernails. You notice all kinds of things."
She shrugged slightly and the movement caused the carefully draped folds of midnight-blue material at her cleavage to shift slightly. Only to reveal even more skin. He suppressed a groan. "We need to…. settle on a strategy." He said, his voice hoarse.
She slowly nodded. "Yes. You suggested yesterday that we should go before they want us to get too explicit. I think me having a head-ache or something is easier to pull off, but you having an emergency, a problem with a system at a client of yours would be more convincing. And less… clichéd."
He simply nodded. "When it starts to go too far you could go to the toilet and call my phone. I pretend to talk to a client and then we can go." He knew it was still a little conspicuous, but he didn't care.
She nodded and gave him a long, measuring look. "What is going too far?" She asked and he could have sworn her voice was husky, too. "Kissing? Touching each other? Talking about oral sex?"
His eyes widened. He had been avoiding thinking about it the whole day, but now reality had caught up with him quite brutally when Brennan so bluntly asked how far they'd go. Yes, he knew, they'd had to give the sinners SOMEthing, at least a kiss or talking about sex. But… the mere imagination made his pulse quicken.
"I don't know. That's something we need to discuss now I guess."
"We could still try to get some first-hand knowledge. It's not too late." Brennan said after a glance at her wrist watch.
His brain needed a moment to process her words, translate it to a suggestion to have sex. His eyes widened.
"No." He shook his head vehemently.
"Why not?" She asked and he nearly squirmed under her inquiring gaze.
"Because it would be wrong." Booth forced out, his throat dry, his voice raspy.
"We're both adults. Judging by your reaction to my outfit you're at least a little attracted to me. And I'm attracted to you." She stated bluntly.
A little attracted? Dear heavens, he was used to working with a hard-on half the time thanks to her. His strangely numb brain barely registered that she'd said she was attracted to him, too.
"Why not act on the attraction? There would be only benefits." She pushed again, determination in her voice.
And something in him snapped. "No. God. Not like this, Bones, please. Not like this." The words poured out of him before he was able to stop them. His eyes widened and he swallowed hard, knowing he'd just given admission that there was more to his feelings for her than just platonic friendship. He suppressed a sigh.
Temperance Brennan was standing in front of him, staring at him. There had been no mistaking the emotion laced in his voice, the pain, the longing, but also determination.
She was shocked. Her little experiment of pushing Booth had proven her that there was more to this relationship that just being friends. He wanted her. She wanted him. Had Angela really been right? Maybe Booth had feelings for her…Maybe there was more than just mutual respect, friendship and attraction.
She hadn't accepted the concept, not really, until now. She'd thought that she could push the matter until Booth snapped. And she'd expected him to blurt out that she was a friend, a partner, not a woman he'd want in his bed. She should have known when she'd seen his reaction to her dress, how his eyes had widened both in surprise and appreciation. She shouldn't have pushed, should have remained on the safe side, in the comfortable zone of not being confronted with FACTS. Because she could brush away suspicions in a heartbeat. But not facts.
And fact was, Booth was now sitting in front of her, a look on his face she could not decipher. Fact was that she'd heard so much emotion in his voice she'd felt her heart skip a beat. And fact was, her subconscious seemed to be pleased with his emotions…. An odd warmth had flooded her upon hearing his words. Knowing that he indeed wanted her, but not like this, as he had put it…. had left her strangely satisfied.
Booth just couldn't stand it anymore. He could see the confusion in her eyes, could nearly hear the wheels turn in her head, how she analysed his words. She'd know now that he wanted her and maybe she'd conclude that he felt more for her than just attraction and friendship. And then he was going to lose the level of trust and intimacy they'd had with each other. Because he suspected that she just wasn't ready to know that he wanted her to share his life. So she would run, erect her walls again, hide from him.
Or – and that was maybe even worse – she'd brush off his feelings, explaining in her scientific babble how what he thought he was feeling was all chemical processes, hormones and his role as alpha male. Belittle his love for her, trying to explain it away.
The mere thought of it had him avert his gaze, putting his head in his hands. He knew that it was cowardly, but he felt as if all strength had left him.
Still petrified, she watched how her partner and friend averted his gaze as if he couldn't bear looking at her anymore and how he lowered his head into his hands. She had glimpsed a look of hurt and hopelessness on his face and she simply didn't want to be the cause for his pain. But what was she going to say now? Maybe… using her heart would be the key again. Using her heart rather than her brain. After all, this was something Booth had advised her to do, so maybe it was the right thing.
"I don't want Tony." She said and his head jerked up at her words. "And you don't want Roxy."
She came closer and his breath hitched a little, when she suddenly kneeled down in front of him.
"You're giving me insights here, Bones." His voice was rough as he referred to how his slightly elevated position and the daring neckline of her dress made for a nice view, although he didn't look there, but kept his gaze on her eyes.
"I don't care." She answered, not interested in that particular problem.
"You don't want to sleep with me because of that case." She stated. He simply nodded, not sure if he'd manage to utter a single word. "What…" She hesitated, then continued. "What if there was no case?"
Her question left him somehow limp. Booth took in a deep breath, not quite sure what to answer. "It… would depend on the circumstances." He forced out, his voice not quite steady.
"What would it take?" She asked, so bluntly the only reaction he was able to produce was repeating her words. "What….would it take? What?..." He was confused, stunned and he felt a little bit like Alice in the rabbit hole.
"What circumstances would allow for you to sleep with me?" She asked and he simply stared at her, then he shook his head. "Bones…."
"Tell me. Please, Booth." Brennan said, a pleading tone in her voice. He looked down in her blue eyes and blinked. "I… " He started and had to stop again. How was he supposed to tell her what he needed, what he wanted, what would be right and what wouldn't?
"Love, Bones. It would take love." He simply said and stared at her. His words and his intense gaze had her swallowing hard. "Because anything less isn't worth risking what we have." He continued, his voice a low murmur, thick with emotion.
As she looked up into his brown eyes, the depth of his feelings so clearly visible, she wondered why she had never seen it herself, never understood what Booth was to her and she seemed to be to him.
'Too close' The analytical part of her brain told her 'Objective observations can only be made from a certain distance.' She shoved the voice aside, banned it from her conscious self.
Heart, she told herself, heart not brain.
"I'm not sure how you define love, Booth." She said slowly. "But I miss you when you're not here And… and I trust you. And I want you."
The honest tone of her words, the confidence of them made him shiver. A muffled sound tore from his throat, something she couldn't identify. She searched his eyes again, not sure about his reaction to her words. She really had no idea what loving somebody felt like. But she knew that what she felt for him was more, far more than anything she'd ever felt for somebody else.
"God, Temperance." He whispered and his hand moved to cup her cheek, his thumb caressing the soft skin. "You mean so much to me. I don't want to screw this up."
"You won't. Usually it's me who screws up." Brennan said, a hint of pain and resignation in her voice and she averted her gaze.
"No, no. Bones. Don't say that." His hand moved a little, his fingers were suddenly under her chin and he gently pushed, so that he had to look into his eyes again. "You're an amazing woman."
Fascinated, he watched her blush a little. God, she wasn't used to compliments of that sort, he knew it. She got complimented on her work, maybe even on her looks, but not on her persona. But that was what he loved most. The compassionate, strong, but still emotional woman that always searched for the truth. The woman that tried to bring justice to the dead, the woman that didn't trust easily, but trusted him. And he wasn't sure if he deserved her trust.
"Booth?" She asked, uncertainty in her eyes as he just kept on staring at her. The vulnerable look in her eyes, the fact that she was so unsure of herself, but not of the fact that she trusted him, did it. He couldn't think of anything else to show her what he felt, what he wanted and how much she meant to him, but to kiss her.
He bent down and brushed his lips over hers, kissing her in a gentle, reassuring way. He had known it would be special. They had shared a kiss, yes, but it hadn't been right. Part of a bargain, and though it had been heated, it hadn't meant anything. But this… this was something else. It was not about sex, but about love and he hoped she felt it, too. He broke the kiss after some time to draw her into his arms. He just held her close, inhaling her scent.
He felt her breath in deeply, too and smiled gently. It felt so right, so right.
"They were never guy hugs, right?" She mumbled against his shoulder and he had to chuckle.
"Oh, Bones." He whispered against her hair. "You're one of a kind." He pressed a kiss on the top of her head and the small, loving gesture, made her chest tighten a little. But it was a pleasant feeling, somehow… it had warmth spreading in her and she realised that she was truly touched by this small kiss. Such a loving gesture.
"Booth?" She asked after a moment and he mumbled. "Mhm?"
"If I'd told you…. that I want you to be the one, not one of many… Would that mean something to you?" She asked, cautiously.
He closed his eyes upon hearing her words and his breath hitched a little. "A lot." He answered after a moment, his voice rough. "It would mean a lot."
"Good." She said and snuggled a little closer. She remembered how she had somehow ached for somebody to hold her the night before.
Now she knew she hadn't been longing for just SOMEbody, but for him.
Ah, the FLUFF! Please let me know if you like it, PU-LEASE! What do you think will happen next? Did you like it, huh, huh? Did you?