Act Two

At The Party...

"I'm glad you could make it tonight," said Fiona.

"I wouldn't miss it for anything," said Tails.

"Anything?" asked Fiona.
"I'm that important to you, huh?"

"Of course," said Tails, with a big smile.

"That's what I like to hear," said Fiona, returning the smile.

"Is your dad here?" asked Tails.

"He got held up in the office, but he's on his way," said Fiona.
"He's really looking forward to getting to know you."

"Really? Me?" asked Tails.

"Of course! He's heard all about the boy genius who's brilliant inventions have helped save the world," said Fiona.

"Wow, finally someone noticed me," said Tails.
"I guess my star is beginning to shine."

"A certain female admirer of yours may have put in a good word for you with him," Fiona hinted.

"Thanks Fiona," Tails smiled.

"You know, my father has his eye on you for a position in the company," said Fiona.
"If the party goes without a hitch, this could be a big night for us."

"This is huge," said Tails.
"There's so much to think about. I'm getting kind of nervous."

"Don't worry, I just know he'll be impressed," said Fiona.
"Is... Sonic The Hedgehog here?"

"Er, yeah. I mean, he should be here any second," said Tails.

"Excellent," Fiona muttered, breathily.

"Um, he's not exactly what you think he is," said Tails.
"I mean, I love him like a brother, but sometimes he can be a little..."

Voomph!
At that moment, the doors swung open and Sonic dashed into the party.

"It's time to get this party started up in he-yah! Yeah-YEAH!" announced Sonic.

Amy Rose quietly stepped in beside him.

"We were going to leave the ghetto behind tonight, remember Sonic?" she reminded him.

"Oh yeah, almost forgot," said Sonic.

Sonic zoomed over to Fiona and Tails, the latter of whom was cringing in embarrassment.

"Greetings," said Fiona.
"You must be the renowned Sonic The Hedgehog."

"Esatto, Signorina! And you must be our most gracious hostess," said Sonic.
"È un piacere conoscerla," he added, kissing her hand.

"So charming!" exclaimed Fiona.
"I didn't know you spoke la bella lingua."

"A skillful tongue is but one of my copious endowments," said Sonic, as he continued kissing her hand and working his way up her arm.

"Sonic!" Tails hissed sharply.

"I'm just being friendly," Sonic grinned, widely.
"So anyway, just point me to the hooch and the hoochies, and I'll be all set!"

"Watch it mister!" warned Amy.

Tails smacked his own forehead in frustration.

"Keep it together Sonic! There's not even any alcohol at this party," said Tails.

"It ain't a party without alcohol!" Sonic argued.

"Not everyone needs booze just to have a good time," Tails snapped.
"Some of us rely on good company and intelligent conversation."

"Oh, but we do have a wine cellar downstairs, if it would find favor with Mr. Sonic to sample my assortment?" offered Fiona.

"I'd take a sample of your sort anytime," said Sonic.
"And you can just call me Sonic, babe."

Sonic zoomed down to the cellar to go get wasted.

"Bring a bottle up for father while you're at it!" Fiona called after him.
"I think he'll have something to celebrate tonight... I hope."

"I apologize for Sonic's crass behavior," said Tails.

"That's okay. I suppose he is a part of your life," said Fiona, somewhat skeptically.

"Should've taken my chances with the Chaotix," Tails mumbled to himself.

Meanwhile Sonic was in the wine cellar, downing a bottle of lambrusco. He had loosened his tie and made himself comfortable.

"Ahh... good," he sighed with satisfaction.

But just as Sonic was slipping into his state of slovenly stupor, he heard a rattling noise come from another section of the cellar.

"Whuh?" he slurred.
"Who dat?"

Suddenly the rumbling grew louder and with a loud crash, one of the walls burst open!
A gang of BatBrain badniks flew into the room!

"Badniks in the belfry!" Sonic remarked, as he assumed a battle stance.

Sonic rolled into a spin attack, ripping his clothes off in the process. He shot around the cellar at supersonic speeds, knocking off the badniks one-by-one; (and the wine bottles too).

Whirrr-ZOO-OOM!
Ker-rash! Crash!

Sonic fought hard, but a couple of the BarBrains managed to zap him with a few blasts.

Zzap! Zap!

"Ow! Ah!" Sonic screamed.

Meanwhile, upstairs...

"Did anyone just hear a noise from downstairs?" asked Fiona.

"It's probably Sonic," Tails sighed.
"I'll go check on him to make sure he's behaving."

As soon as Tails approached the stairway leading to the cellar, the door swung open and an injured Sonic was crawling his way out.

"Sonic! What's going on?!" asked Tails, in concern.

"Badnik ambush..." Sonic groaned.
"It's go-time little bro."

"Right!" said Tails, as he quickly discarded his suit and sprung into action.

"Oh dear! What's happening?" asked Fiona, as she observed this spectacle.

Tails descended into the cellar, but when he arrived there was no sign of badniks anywhere. Just a wrecked cellar with a bunch of broken glass and spilled wine.

"Sonic, I don't understand. Where are the badniks?" asked Tails.

"Must've gotten away," Sonic groaned.
"Hic!" he hiccuped.

"My goodness! Look what's happened to daddy's wine cellar!" Fiona exclaimed.

"Are you sure it was badniks that you saw?" asked Tails.

"I swear, they were there," Sonic garbled.

"Sonic, you stink of alcohol! How much did you have to drink?" demanded Tails.

"Lemme at 'em," Sonic mumbled, as he began striking into thin air.

Sonic dizzily stumbled around the ballroom for a bit, and then it happened...

"Uuuurrrrrrrrgghhhh!"
Sonic vomited all over the place!

"All right, party's over!" someone announced.

"What a disaster!" cried Fiona.

"I guess sonic-spins and alcohol don't mix," Sonic groaned.

"How could you do this to me Sonic, you miserable *ast#rd?!" Tails screamed.

Sonic just continued to moan and groan until he passed out.

"I'd better call daddy and tell him the party's off," said Fiona.

To Be Concluded.

Sonic Says

"Kids, we've joked about a lot of Sonic's rambunctious ways and habits in this story so far. But one thing that isn't a laughing matter is drinking bottles of good wine just to get drunk. It actually dishonors the wine, not to mention the host. So if you want to get your buzz on, try great tasting, low-end fortified wine. It always gets the job done and never lets you down! Sonic Says! "

J/K -- Please drink responsibly.