The Events! Part 13! Competent Moron! P2.
A/N: Competent Moron will be a long chapter, so there may be a P3 after this, and no this isn't because I'm too lazy to think of new and separate titles. The name just relates to around three things and I want them to happen 'separately'.
^Jungle Japes 3D^
Samus appeared on a wooden platform, water was rushing underneath very fast, so fast it made water bubbles splash everywhere. The wooden platform was somewhat small, big enough for a few people but not too many. Up further was a small house with a bigger platform length wise but not width wise, unless you count the house, the bigger platform also had a smaller platform above, still larger then the one Samus stood on. Across from that was a platform the same as the one Samus stood on.
On the far end was a clone of Captain Falcon, on the middle platform stood a clone of Bowser.
"Hey Samus! Good luck!" Peach called from outside the glass dome, Samus looked at Bowser thinking... Killing it probably would count as a failure. Before Samus had even decided what to do Captain Falcon lunged across the long gap separating platforms and kicked Bowser in the fact, he then grabbed the clone and quickly punched him a few times in quick succession.
"Move it Samus!" Fox yells and Samus jumped across the gap, double jumping just to get across. (The gap is much bigger in my stories) After getting across Samus sidestepped to avoid being hit by Bowser, who had been pushed by Captain Falcon. The Bowser clone grabbed the edge of the middle platform and slowly pulled itself up. Samus shot a few uncharged Power Beam shots at Bowser but Captain Falcon quickly stepped in front of them to kick Bowser. The clone fell off into the water, the current then dragged Bowser into the red mist on the left side of the area. (There is no bottom red mist, but the super fast water will take care of that)
Samus then appeared in the meeting room.
"FAILURE!" Omochao yells.
"What? No banter?" Fox asked.
"They expected you all to have already gotten stuck and unable to proceed so didn't make any more after my last one." Omochao says looking at Samus. "Do you wish to try again?" Omochao asked.
"Hey Samus! Remember to act fast! Captain Falcon has the speed advantage over you!" Ness says.
"And strength, you have been handicapped remember." Peach says.
"Send me back." Samus says and everyone warped again.
Samus landed down on the wood and quickly morphed into her Morph Ball, she boosted the distance and landed onto the Middle Platform near Bowser's feet, she laid a Power Bomb and quickly morphed and double jumped across to the left platform. The Power Bomb exploded destroying Bowser... They all warped back.
"FAILURE!" Omochao yelled.
"How?" Samus asked while glaring through her visor.
"You destroyed Captain Falcon." Omochao says.
"Yeah, he like-ah jumped into it as it blew up-pa." Mario says.
"That makes two, be careful." Donkey Kong says.
"Gee Samus, you sure are bad at this." Link says as Samus asked to retry...
Samus appeared on the wooden platform and quickly double jumped across the platform, she fired a missile Captain Falcon as he jumped across his platform, the missile knocked him back and he landed painfully on his back on the right platform.
"SAMUS! You can't beat him remember!" Fox yells.
"I can harm him and block him." Samus says loudly as she kicked Bowser's head with a metal foot. The clone growled and punched back, knocking Samus over and almost off the middle platform. She pulled herself up as Bowser flew passed her and landed on the left platform. The clone of Captain Falcon then ran passed Samus, who quickly tripped him, he fell off the ledge but before being thrown into the red mist on the side of the area he grabbed the right side of the left platform and painfully pulled himself up. Bowser blew fire at him while Samus fired a charged Power Beam shot at him. (Bowser)
The shot missed because the area was 3D. Bowser was again punched across the water and this time he landed on the top platform. The clone stood up as Samus climbed onto the top platform. (Since the area is 3D and the wood is solid she had to go to the edge of the middle platform then jump) Bowser punched at her but she stepped aside and shot at him, he stepped back clutching his arm in pain. Samus fired at missile at him but the clone quickly ducked down into its shell, which was quite adapt at blocking the missile.
"Look out Samus!" Pikachu says in its language, which Samus could translate. Samus glanced backwards briefly and spotted Captain Falcon jumping up while pulling his arm back. Samus fired the grapple beam at his arm and yanked him forward, disrupting his Falcon Punch and causing him to hit his face on the wood. While this was going on Bowser hopped off of the top platform and looked around for a place to hide, before finding a place Samus lands down onto his back. The spikes damaged Samus' shielding but caused Bowser to fall over, his front half dangerously leaning over the edge. Samus was trying to stand up but Bowser was also trying, making things difficult. Before Samus could stand Captain Falcon slammed down onto the two, causing intense pain for both clones and a lot of damage to Samus' shielding. Bowser jumped up quickly spun his way through the air and onto the right platform, leaving Samus with Captain Falcon.
"Come on Samus! Don't lose a third time!" Fox yelled.
"Shut up Fox!" Samus shouts firing a super missile in Fox's direction, it exploded on the glass dome scaring Fox. Sadly for Samus Captain Falcon took the time to Falcon Punch Bowser, ending him quite quickly...
"FAILURE!" Omochao says, Samus didn't care because she was storming over to Fox.
"FOX!" Samus shouts as Fox cowered behind DK.
"S-s-sorry Samus..." Fox weakly says.
"Hold it Samus, you need to focus on the event!" DK says protecting Fox.
"Omochao! Let me go again." Samus says and vanished...
Samus appeared for the fourth time on the right platform, she quickly jumped across and used the Screw Attack (don't ask how she has it -_- Just presume this is after both Metroid Prime 1 & 2) to ram into Bowser. The sharp metal shoulder plates of the Varia Suit tore into Bowser's shell and ripped right through the clone, quite instantly killing it... Samus then warped back to the meeting room.
"Well... you cheated but I don't feel like challenging you about it..." Omochao says as some of the prisoners looked at the bloody metal shoulder plates on Samus' Varia Suit.
"Took long enough Samus!" Fox yelled.
"Don't make me do anything you'll regret!" Samus says somewhat mad still.
"How would he make you do something he'll regret?" Link asked.
"Hey guys! You wouldn't believe it! We found Zelda na-" Bowser yells storming in without Captain Falcon.
"Why are you dripping blood Samus?" Bowser asked.
"Go on, where was Zelda?" Peach asked.
"Naked in a closet." Bowser says.
"Umm... where is Captain Falcon?" Ness asked.
"Attempting to sew some clothes for her, apparently in his spare time he knits and sows..." Bowser says shrugging.
"And is Zelda angry you two saw her... naked?" Peach asked.
"I'm not human so I don't think she cared about me, she didn't say anything about Captain Falcon though... she just kept stringing swears together with Samus' name." Bowser says shrugging again, everyone but him, Omochao, Samus and Keith looked at Samus, who just stood unfazed... after a pause Samus spoke.
"What? I didn't do anything." Samus says.
"Moving on..." Fox says and looked at Omochao, "Next mission." Fox ordered.
"Event." Omochao corrects.
"*Rolls eyes* Event." Fox says sounding annoyed.
"The next event is called Ha- Oh sorry, just noticed the time... see you next time!" Omochao shouts flying away quickly...
"Huh!? Hey get back here!" Fox yelled attempting to shoot Omochao as it flew off.
"No attacking staff!" Keith yelled making Fox put away his blaster in fear.
^That night at around ten - The Mansion^
Mario walked over to Link, fireballs ready in case something were to come. "Hey Link, see anything?" Mario asked looking at Link, who held his sword ready. After a brief moment Link replied back; "No, I think we're safe... for now." Again after a bit of silence Mario replied; "Good, but could you please put your sword away... I don't feel safe.".
"Come on Mario." Link says after a break, "I won't accidentally hit you." Link finished after a few seconds.
"Anyway, we better get to it." Mario says and Link walked passed Mario. "What is it?" Mario asked and then turned around, Link was standing on the edge of a cliff looking down.
"Archers, they have probably spotted us by now! They may have alerted those green clones!" Link says as Mario sprinted over, once he arrived he looked down at a group of Archers, amongst the Archers were green creatures holding swords very much like Link's.
"Here Mario, have this!" Link says throwing a sword at Mario, who caught it and held it ready. "Tonight! We advance!" Link says and jumped off the cliff, he fell with a sound of breaking bones and then quickly started to destroy the Archers and 'green clones'.
"Look out Link! It comes!" Mario says before jumping down to help, he landed painfully but still joined the fight with Link. They were vastly outnumbered but as long as 'it' didn't come too close they were relatively safe.
Link suddenly stops moving moments before an explosion took his life, the blast destroyed the ground and threw clumps of dirt at Mario. Mario but away his sword and began lighting the Archers on fire, the fire making a very bright light. An arrow then pierces into Mario's face, causing quite a lot of damage to the poor man. The cluster of foes swarmed around Mario, they probably would have killed him if not for a sudden loss of connection. (Yes, loss of connection)
Mario sighed and placed the laptop down next to him as he laid upright in his bed. With palmy hands he opened Link's chatting program and sent a message.
Mario: Hey what happened? I lost connection?
He didn't reply for a few minutes.
Link: Don't do enything, keith is smarter then he looks, see you soon.
Mario quickly shut down the laptop and placed it down onto the bedside table, he pulled his bed sheets up and pretended to be asleep in case Keith came in.
^Tomorrow Morning^
Mario hadn't received word from Link and was quite relieved to see him at breakfast, so relieved that he sat down next to him while he poked his toast with a spoon.
"Hey Link, anything up?" Mario asked.
"I think my toast is cold." Link says cutting a hole with the spoon.
"I see... so anything up?" Mario asked but sighed once Link started to cut out little circles of bread.
"Want some?" Link asked as Mario left to sit with Peach.
"Hey Peach." Mario says sounding empty of energy.
"At least you tried being nice to him." Peach says.
"You saw?" Mario asked as Zelda entered the room.
"Hey Zelda! Long time no see!" Link shouts gesturing for her to sit with him.
"NO FUCKING WAY LINK! I'M NOT PUTTING UP WITH SHIT TODAY!" Zelda yelled/screamed, making Popo and Nana cover their ears in fear.
"Zelda I wish to speak with you." Keith says as he placed down a plate full of Bananas for Donkey Kong.
"Alright, go on!" Zelda snapped sitting down to Peach's right. (Not where Mario is)
"Alone." Keith says walking out of the room.
"Does he truly believe I'm just going to follow him?" Zelda asked Peach.
"I suggest following him, he has he's staple gun." A Link Clone whispered from behind the two princesses. With a with groans Zelda stormed out of the meeting room...
"Zelda, this is Ridley... I'm sure you two met yesterday when Blue Mystery visited." Keith says opening the door to Ridley's new office.
"I didn't pay much attention to him, what is it you want?" Zelda asked as Keith somewhat forcibly pushed her in.
"Sit down Zelda, I need to speak with you." Ridley says making Zelda sit, after she sat Keith locked the door from the inside.
"What are you doing?" Zelda asked glaring back at Keith.
"Quiet Zelda! You'll do yourself many favours by keeping calm." Ridley snarled making a point of showing his two shiny blades. "Good, now I have heard what happened to you last... yesterday and I want to make things up to you... you can kill Samus." Ridley says and Zelda did her best to stop herself from showing any emotions.
"At what cost?" Zelda asked in disbelief.
"That if she is needed no one can advance." Ridley says.
"NO! Despite how much I want to rip her throat out I won't fuck myself over for it!" Zelda says.
"Fine with me, but just know the offer is always there... you may leave." Ridley says and Zelda heard the door unlock, she turned around in her chair to see the now unlocked closed door... Keith was already gone.
Shadow was stalking through the mansion halls, keeping an eye out for anyone. Hearing a small noise he activated a hidden device concealed by his fur, a transparent bubble-like thing of light enveloped him and made him seemingly invisible.
"Like I've been saying, it just doesn't make sense!" Bowser says walking with Mason, the two were heading Shadow's way.
"Like I've been saying, I don't give a shit." Mason snarled.
'Interesting, Pichu could easily outrun Bowser... he must want to stay with him.' Shadow thought as he pressed himself against to wall to make way for Bowser and Mason.
"Tell me Mason, what's wrong?" Bowser asked.
"Nothing, I just hate all you assholes!" Mason says.
"Harsh." Bowser says quietly. Shadow smiled as they walked passed, he deactivated the device making himself visible.
"Hey lower life forms!" Shadow cockily shouts, making Bowser and Mason turn around to face him.
"When did you get there?" Bowser asked glaring.
"Irrelevant, but I've got proof that you two have been breaking curfew!" Shadow says.
"The fuck? I haven't broken the curfew!" Bowser snarled angrily.
"Who's to say I won't just happen to forget about this... for a price!" Shadow says smiling scornfully, his fangs showing.
"Whoa, you're blackmailing me with fake information... cunning son of a bitch!" Bowser says chuckling about it, Mason just scampered away.
"Anyway, I want you Bowser to stretch the limits of your freedom... but that I mean piss the staff off but do so in a way that still abides by the laws... if you do this I'll reward you!" Shadow says.
"And if I don't?" Bowser asked already knowing the basics of the answer.
"All of a sudden you'll find yourself sleeping with Ja in hell." Shadow says laughing merrily about life.
"You want me to piss the staff off for your enjoyment? I'll do it as long as you loophole me out of trouble." Bowser says.
"You ask for extras when I've threatened you with death if you deny me? Bowser old sport you remind me of me! Take this and be a bastard to the staff!" Shadow says laughing, he threw a small dagger to Bowser, who caught it with a worried look.
"Why would I need a dagger to piss the staff off?" Bowser asked.
"That isn't for the pissing, just for... mishaps!" Shadow says smiling until his watch beeped a few times. "Farewell Bowser, may god have fun with your fortune!" Shadow says warping away with a flash.
"LOGBOOK SCAN COMPLETE! DATA ANALYSIS COMPLETE!" A loud robotic voice says, making Bowser jump with fright but also turn to the sound.
"SAMUS!" Bowser roared glaring at Samus, her visor was light green.
"I need to remember to remove that..." Samus mumbled while she walked off like Bowser had never saw her.
"Hey wait!" Bowser shouted trying to chase after her, he was however too slow to keep up with her walking speed.
^After Zelda's talk - Lord Sonic's domain^
Keith entered a large room and bowed down before a huge throne, dull candles all that lit the room and they surrounded Keith in the shape of an upside-pentagon, sitting atop the throne was a beast of pure evilness.
"What brings you Keith?" Lord Sonic demanded, his voice robotically demonical.
"I caught Link using his laptop for inappropriate reasons." Keith says standing up before his true master.
"Is this such an important event that you tell me? Tell Nic Os about it! I am too busy!" Lord Sonic rasped mechanically.
"What must I do?" Keith asked, his voice loss of all confidence.
"Use this then! Incompetent fool!" Lord Sonic hissed and threw a gun with pulsating green veins flowing across it.
"The data fluxer? Is this nes-" Keith began but Lord Sonic held up a robotic hand, a metal cord dangled from under his wrist like a chain.
"SILENCE! You have asked for advice and I have given! NOW GO DO AS TOLD!" Lord Sonic boomed.
"I agree wholesomely with your decision my lord but what about Link's events? If this were to kill hi-" Keith began.
"Silence you fool! The beam emitted by this accursed gun will take from Link a form of perfect stature! Where once there be one Link, becomes two! The second in the form of strongest moment! This new Link shall be my servant! Or die being my prisoner! Hast forth Keith! Events have changed!" Lord Sonic demands and Keith nodded silently before hurrying off...
^Lunch Time - The Mansion^
Everyone but Kirby and Yoshi had turned up for lunch, not only lunch but the next events.
"Hello Everyone!" Omochao yells getting greeted with less enthusiasm. "The two new events available are 'Kirby's Air-Raid' and 'Ha...{Keith suddenly approaches and whispers something to Omochao} ...Link's Adventure!'" Omochao says after a brief pause.
"Oh boy, another one for Link." Zelda says sighing.
"Link may not have to do this, you never know." Omochao says.
"Does he?" Fox asked.
"Yes." Omochao answered.
"Dammit, I got trolled by a robotic blue ball!" Bowser angrily states, slamming his fist down onto the table... breaking it.
"Bowser!" Keith yelled.
"I'll get rid of the mess!" Bowser says breathing fire on the broken off bits.
"BOWSER!" Keith yelled making him stop. "Control yourself! I'll fix it later but for now stop wreaking things further!" Keith ordered.
"Yes Keith." Bowser says laughing.
"That was mean Bowser." Ness says.
"Shut up." Bowser replied.
"That was mean Bowser." Peach says.
"Sorry Peach." Bowser says looking down with shame, Mario cussed quietly but no one cared or noticed.
"What must I do?" Link asked eating his soggy toast he asked to be saved from this morning.
"You must-" Omochao started but Keith cut in.
"THIS YOU FOUL BEING!" Keith yelled pulling out the pulsating gun and dramatically aiming at Link, his black suit flapping in the wind made by small fans hidden in his pockets... this too was for effect.
"What?" Link asked without looking up as a beam of green light beamed forward and decimated him, after a brief flash of green Link was gone.
"You... you killed Link!" Mario gasped.
"Take them all Omochao, I have a report to file." Keith says throwing aside the now used one-shot gun, it skidded across the floor and ended up near one of the four corners of the room.
"Yes Keith." Omochao says warping everyone, including Keith, to the event's location... but not before someone managed to grab the gun...
^Bridge of Eldin^
(Heads up, don't picture the Hyrule Castle stage, that would be too hard to type about so I've changed it into that bridge from Super Smash Bros. Brawl, lazy I know. Also I'm listening to 'Wrapped in Black' while typing this:)
Everyone appeared outside of the large glass-like dome, inside the dome was a very long bridge, standing on the bridge was Keith, in his hands an unconscious Link. "Watch everyone how we punish those who defy us! Link was using his laptop for things that break our license!" Keith announces as he dangled the unconscious Link by his limp neck. "Now see the power of punishment!" Keith yells while he threw Link from the very left of the bridge to the far right, landing with a loud thud Link exploded into two, a pure black silhouette and normal Link. "They both have two chances! My creative Dark Link is a level six pure strength form of Link! No handicaps!" Keith says and jumped off the bridge and into the red mist, he then vanished using it as a sort of warping device shortcut thingy.
Suddenly, both Links regained consciousness and stood up. "HEY LINK! You must fight them!" Bowser yells making both the Links look at him.
"Yeah Link! MURDER LINK!" Ness yells making both Links look at each other.
"There ain't room for the two of us!" Link says drawing his shield from his back and holding it as close to a sword as he could.
"He rasps... oh beautiful voice of pure weakness, thou'st doesn't know what joy you bring thou!" Dark Link says with a rasping tone of voice, it was Links but sounded 'corrupt'? The Dark Link unsheathes its sword and held it forward ready to duel. Link looked at the sword and swapped his sword and shield around, they held their swords side by side briefly before they both jumped back blocked nothing with their swords.
"This is going to take forever..." Zelda sighed.
Dark Link ran forward at Link and tried to stab him in the chest, Link blocked and countered with a stab to the chest, which Dark Link blocked and countered with a stab to the chest, Link blocked and countered by placing a lit bomb down and running to the centre of the bridge for safety.
"Foul play! You cheat! You woefully pitiful disgrace! Wretched boy come back here! Make to make to!" Dark Link yelled running to Link, leaving the bomb to just blow up making a with cracks in the foundation. The two Links exchanged arms again as both Swords slammed into each other, Dark Link pulled out first and was about to jump attack Link when an arrow japed into his chest. "Link, why do you not fight with honour?" Dark Link asked.
"You have these weapons too." Link says as he kindly pointed (with his sword) at Link's bag of bombs and arrows and whatnot.
"Why thank you." Dark Link says pulling out a bomb and throwing it at Link, it hit his face but didn't explode.
"Hey!" Link yelled and the two swung swords again, they hit making a loud clang and the two did some fancy 'sliding off each other' move and quickly shielding in case the other attacked. Luckily for them they shielded as the bomb blew and were merely blown away a bit. The blast left cracks on the centre of the bridge.
"Come on Link! Speed up!" Fox yelled.
"You can do it Link!" Peach yells.
"I believe in you!" Mario yelled.
"Kiss up." Bowser rasped to his old rival.
Link wasn't listening, he was busy firing arrows at Dark Link lit another bomb. An arrow hit the bomb causing a disruption in the fuse, it moved a bit and lit the black-powder earlier somehow... causing Dark Link to be blown aside. Dark Link dropped his shield just to grab the edge of the bridge, his dark fingers resting on a thick crack.
"Help me Link! I'm falling!" Dark Link calls out and Link hurried over.
"Sorry mate, here!" Link says holding out a hand as he crouched down near the edge.
"I would shout out syck or the such but the author can't spell it." Dark Link says.
"I beg your pardon?" Link asked but Dark Link, with some unseeable strength, yanked himself up into the air above Link and whacked Link over the edge as he fell down onto the bridge.
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Link screamed making Dark Link laugh, after laughing he looked away in disgust and began to speak to the people outside the dome.
"I have dishonoured myself, such a tactic of unproperness (I know it's improperness but who speaks properly 100% of the time in real life!) is-" Dark Link was saying when he was pushed off the ledge. "How did you live?" Dark Link asked moments before falling into the red mist, after he re-spawned Link looked at him.
"I accidentally activated this grapple-ly thingy and it pulled me up onto the bridge." Link says shrugging, Mario then realised that Link's stupids acts were intentional.
"Then we duel again! Round two!" Dark Link rasps as he held his sword ready.
"Or I just blow you up and call it quits." Link suggests making Dark Link contemplate this for a moment.
"Suits me if we just belt the shit out of each other instead of duelling." Dark Link says and started to grapple Links face repetitively. This annoyed Link who chopped the metal chain, breaking the grappling hook. Link jumped away from Dark Link and aimed an arrow at him, he let it go but Link blocked with his now returned shield.
"Strange how that red mist restores ammo huh Link?" Dark Link asked.
"I know, no one else cares except us two though." Link says while he threw some bombs at Dark Link.
"Why do I get the feeling Dark Link is even stupider." Donkey Kong mumbled, being overheard by Fox.
"Because Keith made Dark Link as just Link's strength, he's still stupid if not more." Fox says.
Dark Link was blown away and landed on his back, Link charged forward to attack but the bridge's centre crumbled under his feet, almost breaking off. The disturbance put Link off and he fell face first in front of the now standing Dark Link.
"To for to for! Get up or be slain!" Dark Link shouts holding his sword at Link's neck.
"Wouldn't I cut myself standing? Please move your sword." Link says.
"Good point." Dark Link says stepping back allowing Link to stand, this completely ruined the fact Dark Link had Link captured. Dark Link then realises what he did. "Hey you tricked me!" Dark Link yelled.
"If I did I tricked myself too." Link says before firing an arrow at Dark Link, who stood just in front of him. The two then exchange sword blows and both jump aside to dodge each other. They both fell off into the red mist but Dark Link just so happened to grapple up, his hook being missing it never actually 'grabbed' the bridge...
"You did it!" Omochao says as everyone var Link, Dark Link and Keith appeared. (Keith having already left long ago)
"Hey where's Link?" Zelda asked.
"I knew you really cared." Ness says.
"I just don't want him to sneak up behind me." Zelda says.
"Sure Zelda." Bowser says getting glared at.
"Before I allow you lot to move on we'll have to wait for Link to return." Omochao says. (No pun intended)
A/N: Big event #2 out of the way, next part will be the last of the Competent Moron parts. Enjoy!