Chapter 2-Rachel's POV

I can't fight this feeling any longer

And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow

What started out as friendship, has grown stronger

I only wish I had the strength to let it show

I tell myself that I can't hold out forever

I said there is no reason for my fear

Cause I feel so secure when we're together

You give my life direction

You make everything so clear

Fuck. Shit. Damn it all to hell. I kissed Blaine. Again. I didn't know what else to do, so I just walked out. I couldn't help it. It was the best thing to do in that situation. I needed to clear my head, and evaluate things from certain positions. I had Finn. My knight in shining armor, Finn. He'd do anything for me, and I'd do just the same for him. And Kurt. My little Pooh bear…the innocent in this whole thing. I just kissed his boyfriend, and liked it. Then there was Blaine. Blaine has been an amazing friend to me throughout these last two years. I walked around the streets for awhile and cleared my head until I ended up at the studio that Finn was working at. He was a production assistant for a theater company, and he loved what he did. I opened the door and stepped inside. The lady at the front desk smiled at me warmly and I smiled back at her.

"Hi, welcome to James Productions. How can I help you?"

"I'm looking for Finn Hudson's office."

"You must be Rachel. He can't stop talking about you. I'm Marissa. His office is the third door on the left. His secretary's name is Lisa."

"Thank you, Marissa. I love your sweater."

I told her and headed back towards Finn's office. I watched everyone working in their offices and I walked towards the desk of Finn's secretary. She looked up at me and smiled warmly. She looked like she was assessing me personally, and I didn't like that too much.

"Can I help you miss?"

"I'm Rachel Berry. I'm here to see Finn."

"I'll buzz you through, Miss Berry."

I waited and she nodded and I went through to Finn's office. I opened the door and he was on the phone. He smiled at me and waved me in. I sat down at his desk and waited for him to get off the phone. While I waited for that, my cell phone buzzed and I looked at it. I had a text from Blaine. I took a deep breath and sighed. I had to open it and see what it said. So I did.

"Hey beautiful. Sorry about the kiss. Wait, I'm truly not. But we will need to talk about it. Meet me at Starbucks in an hour. We need to sort things out. B."

And Blaine was absolutely right. We did need to talk about it. I shot a message back to him telling him we should make it an hour and a half from now and that I agreed that we did need to talk about it. I shoved my phone back into my pocket and looked up at Finn. His phone call was winding down and he looked tired. He hadn't been sleeping well, and I knew that. He had a big show coming up, and I knew that it was eating at him. He was the assistant to the producer, and the producer was a huge dick anyway. He hung up the phone and smiled at me.

"Hey beautiful. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

He said, standing up and walking around to kiss me. I smiled at him and I knew how in love with him I was. Of course I was confused, but who wouldn't be in a situation like this? I sat back down and smiled at him.

"I figured you were having a rough day, and you needed to see a familiar face."

"You don't know the half of it. I've got backers breathing down my neck, and Julie is out of town until Thursday. I'm dealing with everything that she would normally deal with until then."

"Aww. Babe, I'm sorry. I wish there were something I could do."

"I know. Look honey, don't wait up for me tonight, okay? It's probably going to be another late night."

"No problem. You want me to bring anything by for you?"

"I'll grab something while I'm here. We're five days from opening night, and I've got way too much on my plate."

"Look babe, you'll handle it. You always do. I have to run. I'm having lunch with Blaine in a little while. And I want to get in some rehearsal time for my auditions this week. So, take a breath, relax, and come home to me when you can."

"I will. Love you."

"Love you too, baby."

I said, walking out of his office. I felt for Finn, I do. But since Blaine sent me that text, I couldn't get him off my mind. And that was a scary thought unto itself.

And even as I wander

I'm keeping you in sight

You're a candle in the window

On a cold dark winter's night

And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might

I made my way the twelve blocks down the street to the Starbucks where Blaine and I often met for lunch, and walked in. I saw him standing in line wearing dark jeans, a navy blue cashmere sweater and black boots. He looked utterly edible and that was a bad thing. I walked over to him and hugged him.

"Hey."

"Hey. Thanks for coming. Where were you?"

"Sorry, I went to see Finn. Having your usual?"

"I am. You?"

"I am. I'll find us a table. Oh, and Blaine, I want a muffin."

"Kay."

He said. I walked away from him and went over to a table in the far corner, by the window. It was private and discreet enough for us to talk about everything, and we were going to. He came towards me a couple minutes later carrying a bag and a couple cups, and he placed them on the table. I took our muffins out and grabbed my herbal tea and smiled.

"Thank you for meeting me. I'm glad you weren't weirded out by the kiss."

"I wasn't. It was natural, and in the moment, it worked."

"It did. But what are we going to do about it? I am not willing to give Finn up. I can't give Finn up, but I feel like losing you would be like-"

"Losing a limb?"

I gasped. We were on the same wavelength and it was scary. But I suppose when you're friends for a long period of time, you end up being so in tune to that person. It was like the answer was there, we were just afraid to explore it.

"Exactly. Look, Blaine there are these feelings. We need to explore those feelings without involving Kurt or Finn."

"Like cheating?"

"No…not like cheating, but we need to keep this between us. We need to figure this out before we go further in our relationships."

"So, then it is like cheating."

I thought about that for a second. We were essentially going to cheat on our significant others to determine whether or not this relationship was going to stand the test of time. I had to find out whether or not Blaine was cut out for this. He was devoted to Kurt, and I didn't know how to break them up.

"Blaine, you can walk away from me right now and say fuck this shit, I'm going to be with Kurt forever and regret not taking this opportunity with me. Or you can explore this deeper with me, and if it doesn't work…we stay with Finn and Kurt."

I could tell he was considering this, and I couldn't believe that I'd suggested it, because Finn and I had been through so much together. But Blaine was always there in the back of my mind. Blaine looked at me and nodded, and I knew that we were in this together.

And I can't fight this feeling anymore

I've forgotten what I've started fighting for

It's time to bring this ship into the shore

And throw away the oars, forever.

"So how do we do this?"

"We take any opportunity we have to be together. Even if it's just hand holding in the kitchen during dinner, or if one of us is brushing our teeth, or whatever. We just do it. We can be open when Kurt and Finn are gone, we can be intimate if we choose too. We do this on our terms. If it doesn't work with us, we can end the relationship and just be friends."

"I like this idea. So, you have any plans tonight Miss Berry?"

"I'm sitting at home, Mr. Anderson. Thought you and Kurt were going out tonight."

"Oh shit, no! The charity benefit is tonight…I promised Kurt we'd go!"

There was a high profile charity benefit going on for the production company that Kurt worked for, and Finn and I wouldn't make it. So, Blaine and Kurt were going, and it was important that Kurt go. He shook his head and sighed.

"Don't worry Blaine. Finn won't be home till late, so I'm just kind of going to be sitting there, running lines by myself, and taking a bath."

"Ooh, now there's a vision I want to see."

"Play your cards right, I'll send you a picture of my bath."

Blaine laughed and moved to take my hand. I let him hold my hand and smiled warmly. We sat there and discussed everything and anything for awhile and then he looked at his watch.

"Princess, we have to get home. I've got to get ready for this stupid charity benefit. You sure you're going to be okay by yourself?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Like I said, I've got some lines to go over for my audition and then I'm going to get in the tub."

I said, hailing a cab and getting in. Blaine scooted in next to me and gave the driver our address and we made it home. We arrived at the apartment and noticed the lights were on. Kurt was probably home, getting ready for the event. Blaine had his arm around my waist and opened the door.

"Hello?"

I yelled out. Kurt poked his head out of the kitchen and smiled. Blaine and I smiled back at him and I waved at him. He was going to ask where Blaine and I had been, and I was prepared to tell him something.

"Hey! Where were you two? We have to leave in a half an hour for the benefit."

"I'm not going. Finn's working at the studio all night. I'm going to stay here. I've got some lines to memorize for my 'Sunset Boulevard' audition. Then I'm getting in the bubble bath and going to bed."

"Sounds like a plan. Blaine, go get ready."

Kurt said, watching Blaine leave the room. I sat down on the sofa and picked up the folder that my audition piece is in. I opened it and looked at the lines. I couldn't help it, I was trying to take my mind off Blaine being in the shower. I was suddenly aware of a presence right next to me.

"Just keep in mind that you're going to nail this audition, and the audition piece you've picked is going to make it. You've got this."

I smiled at Blaine, and I knew he was one hundred percent right. I watched him button the rest of his shirt and sighed.

"Have fun tonight."

I said, watching Kurt join him in the living room. They headed for the door and Blaine turned to look at me. He blew me a kiss and was out the door before I knew it. It was just me and me alone for the night.

Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore

I've forgotten what I've started fighting for

And if I have to crawl upon the floor

Come crashing through your door

Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore

I was sitting in the bath tub enjoying a glass of wine, when my cell phone went off. I'd already spoken with Finn, so I wasn't expecting him to call me. I looked down and saw that I had a text message from Blaine. I picked it up and read it.

"Have I mentioned just how bored I am here? Miss seeing your beautiful face. What are you doing?"

I smiled. I knew what I was getting in to when I signed up for this whole thing. I giggled and typed back to him, knowing exactly what I was doing to him. I just hoped he'd like it.

"Sitting in the bathtub. I have bubbles surrounding me, candles lit, and I'm trying not to fall asleep. Miss seeing you too, handsome."

A few minutes later, I got another message from him and I moaned loudly, knowing that this time things were heating up. And I liked that.

"Come on now, baby. Don't be a tease. You gonna show me?"

So I took the phone and put it in camera mode and snapped a picture of myself and sent it to him. I knew that he'd like this picture of me, and I put in a few words about it and smiled, putting my phone back down.

"Come home to me…I'm all alone in this bubble bath, what shall I do?"

And then the bathroom door opened. I looked up and noticed Blaine standing in front of me. I gasped and smiled, not expecting him to be there, and I realized I was happy that he was.

"How did you get here?"

"Told Kurt I had a headache. He won't be home for awhile. And I spoke to Finn, and Finn's gonna be at the office all night, so it's just you and I."

He said, removing his suit jacket and tie. He unbuttoned his shirt and undressed in front of me. I slid forward in the bathtub and watched him lock the door and climb into the tub with me. I leaned into him, and it felt right.

"Nice lie. So, what do we do now?"

Blaine laughed and buried his face in my neck, using his hands to work wonders on my body. He pulled me closer and I briefly forgot everything in the world.

My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you

I've been running around in circles in my mind

And it always seems like I'm following you, girl

Cause you take me to the places that alone I'd never find

A few days later, after I'd met Finn for lunch, I went back to the apartment and saw Blaine sitting on the sofa. He was on the phone and I didn't want to interrupt him with my news. He had every right to finish his work before I interrupted anything. I went into the kitchen and made a sandwich, and a few minutes later I felt a set of arms circle my waist and a familiar kiss hit my neck. I ran my hand through the curls and turned to face him.

"Hello darling."

"Hello, beautiful. So, how'd the audition go?"

"Well, it's an off-off Broadway show, so they've got to audition people. But I'm feeling good about it."

"Good. Want to go to bed?"

"We can't. Finn's coming home for dinner. And we have to keep up the date night pretenses, remember?"

"Shit…yeah, I forgot. But come on, Rach, won't this entice you?"

He asked, sliding his hand down my skirt. That was it, it was over. I was putty in his hands when he did that, and he took me right there on the counter top. We finished just a few minutes before Finn walked in. We'd had way too many close calls, and I wouldn't let that happen again.

"Hey guys, you home?"

"In the kitchen, dude!"

Blaine said, kissing me once and walking out into the hall to greet him. Finn walked into the kitchen and smiled at me. He had flowers behind his back, and handed them to me.

"Thanks, babe."

I said, kissing him, and realizing my heart was with the curly haired man out in the living room. I knew that this was going to be a lot harder than I thought.

And even as I wander, I'm keeping you in sight

You're a candle in the window on a cold dark winter's night

And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might

And I can't fight this feeling anymoreI've forgotten what I started fighting forIt's time to bring this ship into the shoreAnd throw away the oars, foreverCause I can't fight this feeling anymoreI've forgotten what I started fighting forAnd if I have to crawl upon the floorCome crushing through your doorBaby, I can't fight this feeling anymore

But from here on out, things aren't going to be easy….

A/N: I hate writing from Rachel's perspective! So if it's a weak chapter, that's why. Uh, read and review…I like reviews, they're good. Song used is 'Can't Fight This Feeling' by REO Speedwagon….I hope you guys see the theme here….and thanks for the reviews for chapter 1!