Hello guys just another one-shot. The Rain Cries blue will be a serious of one-shots, I'll update it whenever a short story enters the mind.
We breath into each others mouths. Our limbs are tangled and there's no stopping it. It's dark outside, pitch black in our room, nothing can be heard but our labored breaths, deep moans and grunts. Peeta lays flushed on top of me, pinning my hips to the mattress with his. I don't know how we managed to get this point. I'm certainly not complaining about it though. One minute we are laying in bed, talking about the upcoming visit from Johanna Mason and the next thing I know is we are pulling each others clothes off, devouring each others mouths like animals. My excitement in seeing Johanna again is high. Its been at least a year since all of us went our separate ways, a year since the war ended. I'm doing okay and so is Peeta, but I'm not so sure about our comrades. Annie has her hands full taking care of little Finnick Jr., I'm not sure what Johanna's up to and frankly I'm curious considering she has hung out with my ex-friend and I could say ex-lover Gale.
I'm not sure how I feel about Gale coming long for the visit. I'm not sure if I want to look into the eyes of the man who may be responsible for killing my sister, but I guess its much Beetee's fault as it is Gales. I've made a lot of progress in the past year, I'm more open, I see things a bit differently than I used to. I'm not depressed or suicidal. Although there is still a hole in my heart, for Prim. There will always be that little hole there. She was my sister, my best friend, but I know deep down she is in a better place she is happy as I am. I've never been more happy in my entire life than I am now and its all because of Peeta. I love him so much, so much it actually hurts me sometimes. Now I know why my mother shut down from the world, from Prim and I, it was because she loved my father so much, like I love Peeta and when you lose someone that close to you, it's heartbreaking. It's taken everything I had inside me to admit to him and to myself to admit how much I love him, how much I need him. if anything were to happen to him I don't know what I do. I'd become my mother.
"Uh...hmmm. I-I'm there" I moan out.
I feel my inner muscles clench him, trying desperate to keep him in. Peeta is thrusting at a very steady and easy pace. He's never too rough with me, he never thrusts into me so hard that it hurts me. He's gentle all the time, taking his time in loving every single inch of my body. I cry out in pleasure as he leans down and nips at my neck leaving passionate kisses there.
"Ohhhh... I love you" I moan out and thread my hands through his blonde locks.
He's too caught up in the passion to say it back to me, I don't care though, he says it all the time, every chance he gets. He doesn't have to say it at this movement I can feel the love coursing through my entire body. He loves me so much and I him.
I know he wont last much longer because he begins to shake and tremble and swell inside me. I moan out as he gives me a couple more deep thrusts. He moans and lets his seeds spill inside of me. It feels absolutely wonderful, it always does. I don't know why we didn't do this before, earlier than just 6 weeks ago. Our first time was absolutely amazing and I don't regret giving him my virginity, it would have happened eventually. As much as I wanted to deny the strong feeling I had for him, it was impossible. He tore through my walls and into my heart and there he will stay.
I lovingly stroke my fingers through his damp hair and place kisses on his shoulders. Tilting my head and giving him a soft smile I lean up and give him a small peck before he rolls over onto his back. His eyes narrow at the clock on the stand and he lets out a fresh, irritated groan as he throws his arm over his face. It's 6 in the morning meaning he has to get up, shower, dress and head out into the bakery.
We have a big day ahead of us, between the arrival of Johanna, Annie and...Gale. I wish and pray Gale doesn't show up, it's not that I don't want to sit down and talk about what happen, get this heavy weight off my chest, it's just that I'm not ready to have this conversation with Gale. It's been a year and he made little to no effort in contacting me. He wasn't there when I needed him the most, he left me to sit there, in my living room and die. I'm not sure if I loved him the way he loved me, but I know I had strong feelings for him. I don't anymore though, those feelings have vanished completely, gone like smoke.
The mattress shifts as Peeta sits up in bed and lets out a large yawn. I roll over to get a good look at him. He is still naked, the only thing visible as he turns on the light from the table is his back and part of his butt crack. I scoot over to his side of the bed, getting up on my knees behind him, I wrap my arms around him from behind, making sure I place my bare breasts against his back. I kiss his back and rubbed his shoulders, giving him a gentle squeeze.
"Want company in the shower" I whisper in his ear and then litter his neck with kisses.
"Tempting." He reaches back and grabs my hands from his shoulders, bringing them over his back so they laying against his chest. "I have to say no, big day ahead of us and if you go in there with me there will be no way I'd want to leave that shower."
"Awe that's too bad. I was looking forward to being in your nice strong arms" I gently pull my hands away from his chest and slide them down so they rest against his biceps "I was looking forward in invading your shower, being under the shower head with you, letting the warm water spray down on us while you kiss me and hopefully enter me." I slide my hands up and down his arms as I say this, placing kisses all across his shoulders.
He lets out a loud chuckle and then lays down on the bed unexpectedly bringing me with him. "You're insatiable"
"And you're not? I can't help that I love when you hold me, kiss me, when your making love to me. Your so sweet, gentle, loving, amazing. I can't get enough of it. I never knew it could feel that good."
His face becomes serious as he stares into my gray eyes and I'm wondering if I've said something wrong. "It does feel good for you then?"
"Yeah, Why wouldn't it?" I ask curiously.
"I just..." He sighs and leans up to kiss me, "Sometimes when I'm laying on you. I get this fear that I'm hurting you, crushing you. You grab me really hard sometimes and I feel its your way of dealing with the pain I'm giving you. I know you wont say anything to me, wont tell me to stop. If I'm hurting you I need to know."
We've only had sex a couple of times in the past 6 weeks and each time has been perfect. I don't know why he is telling me this now and not when I lost my virginity to him, now I'd have to admit that hurt. We had a hard time that night, as passionate as it was it ended with neither one of us finishing and a small amount of blood on the sheets.
Peeta sits up again and sighs deeply before getting completely off the bed.
"Your not hurting me, Peeta" I say getting off the bed with him, wrapped in the thin sheet from our bed. "I know this is still so new to us, that we haven't done it enough times to fully understand, but you got to know it feels amazingly good for me. I love your weight on top of me, it makes me feel safe and warm. I hate it when you roll off of me because that warm and security vanishes, same thing goes for when your inside me." I blush.
He walks across the carpet and comes to a stop in front of me. I don't waste no time in wrapping my arms around his neck, lacing my fingers together so he can't move. "I love you" I tell him and give him a warm, wet kiss. I kiss him for a couple of minutes then pull back to look at him, studying the beautiful structure of his jawline, "Your not hurting me" I tell him one last time before releasing him.
"I love you" He replies.
"Now go get a shower while I start breakfast" I order.
He nods and as he walks by me I give his bare ass a gentle slap. He shakes his head, laughing as he walks out of our dimly lit bedroom. I use the downstairs shower and he uses the upstairs one. I'm really disappointed that we aren't showering together like we do most mornings, but he's right we got a big day ahead of us. I'm excited to see Annie and Johanna. Gale, not so much.
I dress in a heavy pair of sweatpants, a light green t-shirt and a dark sweatshirt over top. Its freezing outside, winter is upon us, just beginning to take its toll on the district and the people. Honestly the winter season is not nearly as bad as it was. We're not starving or freezing to death. We have rebuilt decent residential houses, ones that can actually keep warm air inside.
Peeta comes into the kitchen as I'm preparing to make blueberry pancakes, sausage, eggs, bacon and hash browns. He chuckles when he sees the large amount of food on the counter top. Portion control: I know that's what he's thinking. He comes over to the stove where I just cracked the egg over the pan, watching as the gooey white and yellow substance spill into the pan and sizzles as it slowly begins to cook.
"Looks fantastic" He says and gives me a peck.
He helps me cook the sausage and bacon, each one of us gets two pieces. By the time we have finished cooking the meal, eating it and finished our small talk over breakfast, the sun is beginning to rise and he has to be off. He gets on his heavy winter jacket, pulls on his snow boots and gloves. I hand him his hat and scarf. He takes the scarf but leaves the hat. He absolutely hates the green and brown stitched hat that my mother made him. I don't blame him either, the thing is hideous, but we don't say anything since my mother is so proud of it.
"I love you, be safe."
"I love you" He says and kisses me deeply.
We stand next to the front door in a deep and passionate embrace, kissing each other goodbye like it's the last time we'll see each other. Neither one of us wants to the kiss, but I eventually break down and tear my lips away from his, shooing him out the door. I watch him walk cautiously down our steps and out onto the street. I really wish he didn't have to walk to work ,but the new models of 'cars' the capitol has planned to build haven't been shipped in yet and I just know that once their here their price is going to be outrageous.
ooo
The morning is slow and dull, I do my usual route and take to the woods, checking the snares I set the day before, two rabbits have fallen into my trap and I take the time to skin and gut them before shoving them into my hunting bag. It's bitter cold outside which means the woods is off-limits until it reaches a bearable temperature. I can't afford to catch a cold now, not when winter is approaching and there is so many things to do. I need to be ready for it.
I sit on the cold bench by the train station and wait. It doesn't take long for the train to pull up in the station on schedule. The doors open and the first thing I see is Johanna Mason. She has an irritated look on her face, but that all vanishes, when she sees me sitting on the bench waiting for her arrival. She bounces down the steps and right over to me.
"Brainless" She grins, setting her bags on the ground and gives me the slightest punch on the arm, "What the hell is up?"
"Waiting for you guys. How was the trip?"
"Ok, the baby didn't like it at all, wailed almost the entire time. Annie was quiet busy. So I had nobody but your ex-boyfriend to keep me company and honestly all he talked about was you forgiving him, his excitement and nervousness about seeing you again. It was all very sickening to hear about."
Shit, he is here. Of course he will be, its an opportunity to patch things up with me. I 'm not sure how things are going to for the next week or so. The next person off the train is Annie. She has bags under her eyes indicating that she has barely slept in days, the baby coos in her arms as she rocks him back and forth, Closely behind her is...Gale. He's taller than the last time I've seen him, but not by much. He's grown muscle and facial hair, he looks older, but that's just because of the beard he is growing in.
I greet Annie with a gentle hug and I coo the baby, touching his small chubby cheeks lightly with my index finger. I completely ignore Gale who is behind Annie carrying the suitcases. I don't look at him but I can feel his gray seam eyes boring into the back of my head as I turn to walk. He hasn't tried to say anything to me, that's a good sign, maybe I can go the next 2 weeks without talking to him, which is very unlikely.
We make it back to my house in one piece, Gale still not saying one word to me. Johanna whistles as she takes in the entire house. She throws down her suitcases and plops down on my couch, propping her feet up on the glass coffee table. I narrow my eyes at her, giving her a look that says if she breaks my coffee table with her feet, I'm going to be pissed.
"Annie, I'm going to show you to your room." I say.
"Thank you, Its been a very long trip for all of us" She says rocking the baby.
I lead Annie up the stairs to the spare room, carrying her bags on the way up. We enter the room and I set all her things down by the door. She and Little Fin takes a seat on the bed. I take a seat next to them and examine the baby closely, he has his fathers eyes, hair, nose, absolutely everything. It's scary as to how much he looks like Finnick. It must be hard for her to look at her son everyday and be reminded of the husband and best friend she lost during the war.
"He's beautiful" I comment.
"He is, looks like his daddy too" She says in a childish voice, cooing and rocking him.
"A lot" I add.
"Do you mind if we rest, it really was a long ride."
"Oh no sure. Um...I don't have a crib though."
"Its okay. He sleeps with me anyway."
I nod my head and leave them be, making my way back downstairs. I hear Gale and Johanna's hushed voices as I make my way to the top of the stairs. Their whispering angrily to each other about something. Their talking dying down as I venture back into the living room.
"So brainless, Gale here really, really wants to talk to you. So, I'm going to choose my room, unpack my things and sleep while you two hash it out"
Just like that she is gone leaving me all alone with Gale. I sit on the couch and he sits on the recliner near me. The silence is so bad and awkward I can barely stand it.
"Hi" He says breaking the silence.
"Hi" I mumble.
"How you been?"
"Fine and you?"
"You know, busy."
Our conversation isn't going to well, our try at small talk fails us. Gale suddenly stands from the recliner, rubbing the back of his head angrily, his brows are dipped into a V-shape and he lets out a stranded groan.
"Are you happy?"
"Yes"
"I'm not happy. I haven't been happy since the moment you kicked me out of your life."
I stood up and faced him, angry at his words. "Excuse me. I kicked you out of my life? Its more like you never came back to the District, You helped build the bomb that killed so many innocent children, including my sister."
"I regret that, you got to know I never meant to hurt your sister. It was for the capitol residents."
That makes me more angry "So killing innocent capitol children is okay then?"
"No I..."
"I don't know why your here or what you're trying to pull, but I'll have no part of it. Your place is District 2 now, not here."
"I want our friendship back, Katniss, I want you, I want things to go back to the way they were. I want to take care of you."
"Gale the more you talk to me, the more angry I'm getting at you. You want to visit 12 fine, you can have one of the spare bedrooms upstairs, go visit your mother, brothers and sister, maybe your friend Thom, but don't sit here and try to convince me that you want what we had back because you lost that right the moment you refuse to come back to 12 after the war."
"I wanted to come back to you Katniss I really did."
"Then why didn't you?"
"I thought you hated me, I thought it'd be better to give you space and time to heal."
"We'll I'm healed as you can see, not completely but its a start and I'm very happy too."
"Because of him right?" He said with sadness in his voice.
"Yes because of him, I love him."
Gale nods his head multiple times, there is so much pain and agony surfacing into his eyes I almost feel guilty for hurting him like this. Almost, the next words out of his mouth anger me so much that I almost hit him.
"I hate myself for giving you to him."
"Excuse me? There was never a choice."
"Bullshit, Katniss, If I would have come back things would be a lot different from what they are now."
"You think so?" I hiss.
"I know so."
"Gale Hawthorne I'm so close to throwing you out in the cold. You want to fix our friendship fine, but that's all we have is a friendship that is on the path of becoming extinct. You say one thing about him, one thing at all and your out of my life forever. Do you understand?"
He nods sadly.
"I can't help who I fell in love with. I need you to know he is the best thing that has ever happen to me and I'd be a damn fool to leave him for you."
000
Gale and I tiptoe around each other for the rest of the day. Johanna and Annie rise from their sleep and make their way down into the living room, it's nearing 4:00pm now which means Peeta will be home any minute and I wont have to worry about Gale making comments about the way he feels about me. He doesn't dare do it in front of Peeta. This was going to be a long two weeks and I was slowly but surely regretting my decision in inviting him.
Peeta arrives home on schedule and he looks like he had a hell of a day. His eyes are baggy and his body looks run down, like its ready to fall over and sleep. Annie, Johanna and I are preparing dinner, while Gale watches the baby and flips through some channels, searching for something to watch on TV. That TV. never, ever gets used and that's because there is nothing ever on. Although rumor had it Plutarch Heavensbee was in the process of creating a hip new show for viewer to watch. I had no idea what that was all about and I didn't care.
Peeta stomps out his boots, clumps of snow falling from the soles. He sheds his jacket, scarf and gloves, neatly putting them away in the closest. He yawns, stretches and strolls across the carpet towards Gale and the baby on the couch. I hear them start to talk from the kitchen and immediately I get nervous. They talk as if they are really good friends, about the weather, about the TV. and it shocks the hell out of me. I didn't realize I was poking my head around the corner, spying on the two of them, listening to their conversation until Johanna grabs me by the shoulder and pulls me back into the kitchen.
"Let your men talk." She chuckles. "While their talking why don't us girls talk."
I narrow my eyes at her suspiciously, "About what? "
Johanna grins deviously and speaks so lowly and quietly, making sure Gale and Peeta will be able to hear anything being said in this kitchen. "Have you had sex with him yet?"
"Johanna that's now our business" Annie lightly scolds.
"What I'm just curious, is it good?"
I blush furiously, turning as red as the apple in the basket on the counter, "Yes, we've had sex, yes its good." I mumble very, very quietly. As angry and irritated as I am at Gale I don't want to hurt him by having him overhear things about my personal experiences in the bedroom.
"How big is his dick?"
"Really Johanna!" I screech.
"inappropriate Johanna" Annie scolds.
Johanna chuckles loudly at her own question and I narrow my eyes at her, shooting her a deadly look. This isn't her business, what happens in the bedroom should stay between Peeta and I. We are saved as Fin starts crying in Gale's arms and Peeta comes strolling into the kitchen, checking our progress on making dinner. Johanna's eyes are on him and I follow her gaze to his crotch. I can't believe her. I elbow her in the gut and she lets out an 'uh' sound and then starts laughing in hysteria.
Peeta gives us a questionable look and I just wave him off and continue stirring the stew in the pot. Johanna places her lips by my ear as soon as Peeta turns around, "Well he looks like he's packing good down there."
"Johanna, seriously drop it" I frown
She puts her hands up defensively, "Okay, okay no more talking about his dick"
Dinner is awkward and delicious, Peeta sits at the head of the table with Annie and I by his side, the baby in Annie's lap and Gale next to me. The only thing that can be heard is the sound of silverware clinking and clattering against the plates as we eat and the cooing of the baby as he drinks his bottle from Annie's lap. I feel the two pairs of eyes boring into the sides of my head, I shiver, not even having to look up to know whose they are. Peeta's, silently asking me with his blue-ocean eyes if everything was ok, if I was okay having Gale here, and Gale's, boring into my soul, trying to find the smallest, tiniest grain of sand, anything that will tell him I have the slightest feelings for him. Which I don't, I already told him I don't.
"Well this is awkward" Johanna comments and shoves mashed potatoes and soup in her mouth at the same time. Who taught her table manners, obviously nobody, but I don't think she cares. Johanna Mason lacks manners and the ability to keep her mouth shut.
"Johanna, How's life in 7?" Peeta questions gently.
"Just fine bread head. Boring as shit, had to leave for a while in order to help Cresta over here with Little Finnick. That little monster can be a handful huh Annie?"
Annie just smiles and nods her head as she continues to rock and feed the baby. Her plate of food is left untouched for the time being and that's only because the baby's needs come first. Always the child before the mother.
"So Mellark tell us, What's new in the district?" Johanna questions.
Peeta sits back in his chair and shrugs, "Not much, 12 accomplished a lot of rebuilding in the last year. My family's bakery is now reopen and business is good."
I spot Gale roll his eyes in complete jealousy and shove a piece of potato in his mouth, chewing angrily while trying to block Peeta's telling of how good he and I have it in 12. I can feel the tension in the air coming from both men. The small talk in the living room earlier probably did them no good.
" It's good, I'm happy, We're happy. I'm glad I came back here"
I see Gale's eyes close shut as if its taken everything he has inside him not to punch Peeta in the face. He's acting as if Peeta is rubbing our happiness in Gale's face and that's not the case. Johanna asked him a question; he has every right to answer it. I narrow my eyes hatefully in Gale's direction, he catches my gaze and shoots me a look back. I hope he knows I'm serious about throwing him out in the cold if he even does one thing to upset Peeta.
"I've got everything I've always wanted."
Gale can't take much more, he surprises us all as words spill from his mouth, "Your funny, Mellark."
Peeta looks at him in confusion, "Why?"
"Happy, Glad you came back here, got what you wanted. Have you forgotten the danger of your situation? The danger you put her in?"
Johanna looks between the two of them, hiding a small smile and mumbling under her breath, "Here we go, damn Gale"
Annie remains silent as she places the baby gently on his shoulder to burp him. I really hope for Finnick JR and Annie's sake these two wont start fighting over me. Especially not at the dinner table, not while we are all trying to enjoy this decent meal the Johanna, Annie and I worked so hard in preparing. But no I can see it in Peeta's eyes that the comment that Gale just made really got to him.
"You know absolutely nothing about my condition." Peeta calmly replies.
"Oh I know enough, I watched you wrap your hands around her neck. I watched the light almost leave her eyes."
"Gale" Johanna steps in, "I'd stop if I were you"
Gale ignores her and continues. "Tell me when you lay in bed beside her at night are those feelings still there? You know the ones that tell you to hurt her. To kill her in her sleep?"
Peeta does have the fear of hurting me, but it's not as Gale is implying. He scared that he hurts me during sex.
"I'd be quiet if I were you" Peeta says gently.
Gale snorts, "Is that a threat."
"Do you want it to be?" Peeta challenges.
"Lets go now" Gale stands and so does Peeta. There is fire in his eyes now, flaming hot enraged fire.
"Fine outside" Peeta sneers.
"Please stop, we are all cranky from the trip. Gale, Katniss was nice enough to cook for you and give you a place to stay. Least you can do is respect her and Peeta" Annie says as she raises from the table, the baby at her shoulder and gently motions Gale to follow her. Gale doesn't move at first, his eyes are boring into Peeta's' eyes hard and furiously. Slowly, but surely though he follows Annie, but not before shooting Peeta one last glare. I have half a mind to throw him out right now for attempting to pick a fight.
"Well, This is going to be a fun 2 weeks" Johanna chuckles. "Thank you for dinner, brainless, bread-head, I'm tired, going to retire for the night and I better not here strange noises coming from your guys room."
I blush and so does Peeta.
She doesn't have to worry about Peeta and I having sex tonight because honestly I'm irritated at him for egging Gale on. Peeta challenged him, instead of letting Gale's words enter one ear and out the other. We set the plates in the sink, letting them sit there, I'll wash them in the morning right now I just want to dress into my PJs and crawl into bed. I'll probably lay with my back to him tonight, a habit I have gained when I've got mad at him. He can tell I'm irritated as we climb the stairs because he tries to grab hold of my hand, but I gently pull it away.
We leave the hallway light on just in case our guest have to pee. I didn't want them having to feel their way through the dark and them accidentally getting hurt. I push the door to our bedroom open and he pushes it close, locking it in the process. I grip the ends of my shirt and pull it over my head, exposing my green, camouflaged bra, I do the same with my pants, unbuckling the belt, and flicking open the top button on the pants.
"I'm sorry" He says from his dresser across the room. "He gets on my nerves. I couldn't take it any longer. It was the fourth comment he made today."
I peer over at him, he too has his shirt off, exposing his large muscles in his arms and back. An urge to drag my nails over those muscles as he pumps into me clouds my mind and I soon want it really, really badly. I already made up my mind, no sex tonight because he was ready to fight Gale at our kitchen table in front of a small child.
"You could have ignored him"
"Ignore him? The cracks he made all day were pretty hard to ignore." He says pulling off his pants and letting them fall to the ground.
"I know he's hard to deal with. I myself threatened him today, I said if he made one crack at you I would throw him out on his ass."
"And he challenged your threat and you didn't do it" Peeta frowned.
"I know I should have done it but..."
Peeta interrupts me "But what? You couldn't because he still means something much more to you?"
I stare at him in disbelief "Are you saying I'm still in love with him?"
"Are you still in love with him?"
"No! God no, I'm not in love with him. I can't believe you just said something like that."
"I hate the confusion I saw in your eyes today when you looked at him. I hate that you didn't keep your word and throw him out for trying to cause a fight and I hate that you invited him here and I hate the looks you give him" Peeta sneers.
"I can't believe you are talking to me like this. What part of 'I love you' don't you understand. What part of 'I have sex with you out of love' don't you understand."
"Katniss I..."
I cut him off, tears threatening to spill out of my gray eyes. "You really think I don't love you? That I have sex with you because it feels good and you're the only person that will give it to me?" He comes across the room shirtless, the only piece of clothing he is wearing our his boxers. He tries to take me in his arms but I bat him away.
"Did any of that come out of my mouth?"
"You don't have to say it, your thinking it. Your already accusing me of being in love with him."
"I'm sorry, I hate that he's here. I hate him." Peeta growls.
"I know you do and you got to believe me when I say I don't want another mans hands on me, I want yours" I take his large hands into my small ones and guide them to my breast, forcing him to gently cuff them through the thin fabric of my bra. I move my right hand behind me and unclasped my camouflaged bra, gently shrugging out of it. His hands never leave my breasts as I fling the bra to the ground. I know where this is headed and I don't like it, but the need for him almost becomes unbearable and I know this will be between angry and passionate sex. We both are a little irritated at each other and just got over a spat, but I can still see the love and passion in his eyes.
"I love you" I say as I loop my hands around his neck, "I don't want him. I want you." I go in for a kiss and he gently returns it. "I don't want him kissing me, I don't want him touching me and I sure as hell don't want him inside me." I give him another peck and run my hands up and down his bare arms, "I want you inside me. You and only you."
I reach down and pull my underwear aside, they find a home next to my bra and I stare up at Peeta completely nude. He stares at me, unmoving and unresponsive as I reach for the waistband of his boxers and gently pulls them down his firm legs. He hangs there hard, ready, enormous. I feel confident and good about myself, he doesn't even half to try to get it up, it comes automatically which means he's really attracted to me and really loves me, completely and passionately.
I lean in for a kiss and gently grasp his shoulder, running my nails up and down his back.
"Katniss's our guests" He warns.
"I don't care, I'll be quiet, you can keep me quiet, do whatever it takes."
"Katniss..."
"Please, I need you so much. I love you. Oh god I love you so much"
He gently picks me up by my thighs and lays me down on the nice warm bed. The sheet below us is cool against my bare ass and back, I shiver and Peeta leans back to pull the comforter up and over the both of us. Our bodies our hidden and our heads disappear beneath the blanket. I rub his shoulders, his back and cup his ass as he inserts only the tip into my warm, wet depths. He groans as my warmth tightens around him. Thankfully his groan isn't loud to disturb our guest. I know that's why he has our heads beneath the covers, hoping to muffle our moans. Gale is literally on the other side of the wall and Johanna is across from us, Annie is down the hall, farthest from us and for that I'm thankful.
"Ohhhh, Peeta" He pushes his penis inside me even more and the stimulation is overwhelming. He feels so good, so incredibly good. He pushes himself inside of me until there is none of him left, his whole penis buried inside me. I feel my muscles stretch and widen, making room for his incredible size. I drag my nails from his ass back up to his shoulders as he slowly, takes himself out and then slides himself back in.
"OHHHH" I moan a bit too loudly. He places his lips on mine, hoping to muffle my moans of pleasure. Being under the blanket soon becomes suffocating so the two of us pops our heads above the blankets, gasping in the fresh air. The blankets are still covering everything but our heads and I watch as our bodies move underneath them, hidden from even my view. The only view I have is of his gorgeous face all flustered and red, sweat is starting to break out on his face. I wipe the offending beads of sweat from his forehead, cuffed the back of his neck and force his lips on mine.
He is giving me deep and I mean deep thrusts. His penis going in as far as it can go, brushing against a spot inside me that makes me go crazy. Oh god I don't want this to end it feels so good, so incredibly good. I want to cry out, let the whole house know how good it is. I can feel my face redden as the need to cry out increases.
"Are you okay?" He moans.
"Uhhhh, I'm...OHHHHH...uh Fine" I get out between moans and his thrusts.
His mouth hangs open and he pants as he thrusts in and out of me at a slightly harder pace and I soon panic as the headboard of our bed hits the wall.
"Baby, go slower, please." I beg.
He suddenly looks down in panic, never slowing his thrusts, "Am I hurting you?"
"No, Our guest...hmmm"
He obeys me and slows his thrusts but not by much, enough so the headboard wont hit the wall again. I know he is almost done because his thrusts are getting shallower, his panting is increasing and sweat is now pouring from his whole body. I tighten my grip on his back, my nails digging so hard into his skin, its sure to leave marks. He buries his face into my neck as he comes inside me, going limp inside me and relaxing his whole body on top of mine.
"Oh." I breathe out and kiss his lips weakly. "Oh, hah, that was...oh"
He pulls out of me but doesn't roll off of me, just gets up on his elbows and looks down at me. His expression is sorrowful and tears are on the way. Usually I'm the emotional one after sex.
"What's wrong?" I ask threading my fingers through his damp hair.
"I just...I love you so much, Katniss. I'm...an idiot...I'm so insecure...I'm so afraid sometimes, afraid that your going to wake up one day and not want me anymore."
"Peeta" I feel my heart ach.
"Afraid that I'm just the man you got stuck with."
I rub the hairs on the back of his sweaty neck and force his lips against mine. "I love you, nobody else, I promise."
I guide his head to my chest and stroke his hair as he settles his head against my chest. I don't know how long we stay like this, me stroking his head and, his back, his shoulders but eventually we fall into a deep and peaceful, nightmare free sleep.
I wake up the next morning to an empty bed, the sheets are cold so I know he has been gone for some time now. Its Sunday, the bakery is close so I know he isn't there. He's probably being a good host and making breakfast for our guests. I don't know if I have the courage to face our friends after the night I had. I wasn't exactly quiet, neither of us were and the chances of Gale and Johanna hearing were extremely high. This was exactly what I wanted to avoid, embarrassment. I couldn't help it though, sex just happens between us, there's no planning it, no stopping it.
I get dressed and make my way down the stairs, stopping dead in my tracks as I hear him, making soft cooing, talking in baby language. I poke my head around the corner and peer into the kitchen at him. He has Fin in his arms, bottle feeding him. He smiles as he rocks the baby back and forth. It's an amazing sight to see him with kids, he is so good with them, so incredibly good.
A thought hits me like a ton of bricks, we've had sex many times, we had sex last night and the morning before that, We've used no protection, no condoms, no pills, no nothing. The chances of us conceiving are very high. He came inside of me last night and I'd let him, I could have asked him to pull out, but I didn't and if I'm pregnant its my fault. He'd be a good father, but I couldn't give him babies, that was the only thing I couldn't give him, that and I couldn't bring myself to say yes in marrying him.
I watch as he coos Fin, my heart swells in my chest as imagines of him holding our own baby fills my head. Before I can get too deep in thought a hand reaches out and grabs me, making me jump. I turn around, ready to strike at the offender, but quickly stop as I came face to face with Gale, his dark gray eyes staring deeply into mine.
"Morning" I greet him.
"Can we talk?"
I nod my head, "Sure"
Before I follow him into the living room and out the front door I go into the kitchen and greet Fin and Peeta. Fin coos as Peeta sets him down in a high chair. I lift my eyebrows up at the chair in confusion.
"Where'd that come from?"
"Oh I bought it for Annie since she doesn't have one at home either."
I smile at him "That's so thoughtful of you. Is that where you went this morning. The hob?"
He nods in confirmation.
"I uh wanted to say good morning before I head off into the woods." I say.
His eyes narrow towards the door where Gale was waiting with his winter jacket and boots on. I can see the uncertainty in his eyes as it soon became clear to him that Gale and I were taking off into the woods to hunt together or to talk whatever Gale had in mind. I hate that he thinks there will be something going on between the two of us, how many times do I have to prove my love for him. The sex we had last night was beyond amazing on my part, but on his I'm not so sure and it kills me not knowing what he is thinking or what he is feeling.
"I love you" I declare.
"I love you too." He says without looking me in the eyes.
"Peeta?"
"Yes?"
"When you tell me you love me, can you look me in the eyes?"
He lifts his blue eyes up off the baby and gazes into my gray ones, "Katniss Everdeen, I love you too"
I take a step forward and give Peeta a deep, long kiss, "I want you to do something for me while I'm gone." I whisper, wrapping my arms around his neck.
"Okay" He agrees.
"Think about last night, when you were on top of me, inside me, holding me. I want you to think about it and know you're the only one I want to do those things with."
He nods his head, cuffs both sides of my face and kisses me hard. I pull away, giving him one last gentle peck and then turn my back on him. Gale is already outside, having left far before our goodbye kiss. We are silent the entire way to the icy woods, his glares are just as cold as the snow that lay beneath our feet and his attitude it not much better either. When we reach the meadow I fish out my bow and arrows from the snowy log, putting my quiver on my back, my bow joining it on the extra spot.
"I'm leaving earlier than Jo and Annie" He finally decides to reveal.
"Your not staying for a week?"
"No. He says.
"Why?"
"Because I can't stand the memories I have of this place. I can't stand not having the courage to see my family and have them look at me with disappointment and I can't stand listening to you have sex with Peeta." Gale says painfully.
I blush furiously, shit, shit, I knew we shouldn't have had sex last night, something was telling me not to give it to him, but I didn't listen I gave myself to him completely and Gale had heard us, every, moan, gasp, Peeta's name, he heard it all. I didn't want him too, this was the last thing I wanted to do to him.
"I didn't...I never...wanted to hurt you."
"Its too late not to hurt me, I'm already wounded. Just...please tell me I was...dreaming or something, please tell me who didn't have sex with him last night. Please tell me your still pure, that he didn't take that from you." Gale pleads.
Why does he even have to know if Peeta and I have sex? why do I have to confirm it for him? He is hoping that what he heard last night was a figment of his imagination, that the noises I was making were because of a nightmare. I can see the pain and agony in his eyes. Everywhere. I could deny it, tell him that I'm still a virgin, but what will that give him, nothing but lies. A shred of hope that one day we'd get together and have sex. I never want to have sex with Gale, I have no desire to. I only want to have sex with Peeta.
I bite my lip and take a deep breath, "Yes I had sex with him last night. Yes I gave him my...my...purity about a couple of weeks ago, but I never, ever meant for you to hear us, please Gale you got to believe me."
He shrugs, "I don't know what to believe anymore. I came here because I wanted to see you and fix things with you. Wanted you to forgive me for Prim, wanted you to fall in love with me again, but all I did was cause you trouble. All I cared about was getting you to come with me back to 2, start a life together. I've come to realize that's not going to be us, there wont even be a friendship..."
I cut him off "Why can't we work on our friendship. I don't want you out of my life, Gale. Your my hunting partner, my brother, my best friend and I love you."
"But you're not in love with me, are you?"
I shake my head. "I can't. I'm sorry, my heart belongs..."
"To him" He finishes.
"Please believe me when I tell you that I will always love you, Gale, That I will always be willing to mend our friendship, that..." My voice is cracking and tears are threatening to spill in my eyes "That... I don't blame.. you for what happened to her." I cry.
Gale looks at me and then lunges forward and wraps his strong arms around me, then he does something that I have never seen Gale Hawthorne do in his entire life. He cries. "I didn't know" He sobs, "I...didn't know...oh god...I didn't know..." He is sobbing uncontrollably, "Thank...you...for forgiving me...I didn't know" he let's go of my and buries his face in his hands. "I loved her too...I shouldn't of...helped with that bomb...I...I'm sorry" He wails.
"Gale stop...I don't blame you anymore. I should of never blamed you."
"Thank you, thank you" He pulls me into another tight hug.
Once we've both calmed down, we wipe our faces and smile at each other, hugging each other one last time.
"What do you say, catnip, hunt together one last time?"
"Sure."
We have fun together, both of us making the very best of it, catching squirrels, rabbits and even wild turkey. We laugh, we joke and I cry, he refuses to cry again, says it was a one time thing only, it will never happen again. Once we get back in town, we come to the fork in the road, one path leading towards the justice building, mayors house and train station, the other leading to the Victor's village. He stands on the path leading to the train station and I stand on the one leading to the Victor's village. We stare at each other and I feel tears start to swell up in my eyes.
"I think you should go see your family just once before you leave." I suggest.
"We'll see"
"So this is it" I say biting my lip.
"We'll start over again." He smiles and then extends his hand, "I'm Gale Hawthorne"
"I'm Katniss Everdeen." I chuckle with a sniffle.
"Catnip you say? Well Catnip until we meet again"
And just like that Gale Hawthorne, my best friend, my hunting partner, my brother is gone. Deep down I know it's for the best. I'll let him go for now, until he is ready to see me again, until the feelings he has for me are completely washed away. I pray he finds a decent job, a new pair of lips to kiss in district 2, I pray for his happiness. I do nothing but cry on my way back to the Victor's Village. I don't know if it's a happy cry or a sad cry, all I know is its for my Gale, I know I shouldn't waste tears on him because I know he'll eventually come back, maybe not in 10 years, or 40 maybe even 50, but I know he'll be back.
I enter the house and I am thankful Jo and Annie are nowhere in sight, that only Peeta lingers in the kitchen, the fresh scent of bread filling the house. I pound my way into the kitchen boots and all. He smiles at first when he sees me, but then his smile fades as he catches sight of the tears. He goes to open his mouth, asking me what Gale has done to me now, but before he can say anything, I speak first with a sharp cry, "Hold me"
He opens his arms and I run right in. He holds me like I ask, not even bothering to ask questions. He doesn't need to ask questions. He knows me to well, he knows I've let go of my best friend. He gives me a comforting kiss and continues to let me sob.
Two weeks later the visit from Annie, Little Fin and Jo has come to an end and I'm proud to say I had the time of my life with them and am sad to see them go. Its been really fun. Hugs and kisses are exchanged as the train pulls up to the station. They promise to write, well Annie promises to write to Peeta and I, Jo just gives us her number and orders me to call her every week, wanting details about my love life. I really wish she'd give it up already and come to realize I am not going to tell her how big Peeta's penis is. I'm the only one that knows what's down there and its going to stay that way. My friends board the train and Peeta and I wave goodbye to them as their faces appear in the trains window. Annie gently takes hold of Little Fins hand and makes him wave goodbye. Jo winks at me, and then yells out the window "Lick it like a candy cane" I'm beyond embarrassed as the people in our area raise their brows at me.
Peeta merely chuckles, "That's Johanna for you"
"I"m going to miss them."
"Me too."
That night when he is on top of me, thrusting easily in and out of me, threading his fingers in my hair, my hands on his back, our bodies connected together. I look into his eyes as he comes and smile. It's time to tell him something that I haven't even told my friends, something that I've only just discovered a couple of days ago. It's only a couple weeks in, but I guess he deserves the right to know, besides I can't keep it from him even if I tried. It's just too much. I was going to wait to tell him, wait until I was sure everything was going to be ok, when I passed the danger zone.
"Peeta?"
He looks down at me curiously, "Yeah."
"I'm pregnant."
The end.