Chapter 134

Well it's these little times that help to remind
It's nothing without love

It had been two days since the broken condom and after hovering over Patrick wanting to help him with even the smallest side effect, he had kindly and gently suggested she might prefer to devote her attention to work rather than him. He was, in fact, responding well to the PEP and seemed to be taking it in stride - something she was yet unable to but kept reaching for.

Hearing a light rap at her lab door Robin peered over the top of her microscope, surprised to find her boyfriend's best friend filling the doorway.

"Eric, hi" she greeted him breezily.

"Hey" he smiled stepping inside. "How's it going?"

Cocking an eyebrow she looked at him knowingly. "Patrick told you, didn't he?"

"About the PEP? Yeah - he had to - I'm still his doctor."

"And he sent you here to check up on me?" she bristled slightly.

"Ah, no" he replied. "I'm actually here for a favour."

Pushing away from her microscope and her curiosity peaked, she waved him all the way in. "What kind of favour?"

"I have a surgery this afternoon" he told her as he brandished the file, "and I was wondering if you could assist? Intercereberal hemorrhage in a peds case and I could use an extra set of eyes in the OR, if you're game."

Taking the file from his hands she flipped it open and scanned it quickly, letting out a low whistle as she read the list of injuries. "Abused?" she asked looking up. Eric nodded wordlessly. Closing the file, she handed it back to him "I'd be happy to assist."

"Thanks," he smiled gratefully. "I'll have the films sent down to you - we're booked for 1 o'clock." Turning on his heel he headed for the door.

"Hey Eric" she called to him.

Stopping, he looked over his shoulder back at her. "Yeah?"

"I...I'm looking forward to working with you" she told him.

It was the truth. When Patrick had finally come clean about the meningioma she had done her own research on Eric Smitherman and was suitably impressed with what she had found out. It had been easy to lose sight of that when fighting for Patrick, when she had been so personally invested in every minute detail. And she had been harsh with him, she knew that but now it was professional not personal and like with all things in her career she relished new opportunities.

Eric grinned shyly. "Me too Robin, me too."

****
After receiving his prescription from Kelly, he and Robin had returned to their apartment and flopped on to the bed emotionally exhausted. He considered it a victory as Robin had curled herself towards him, sliding her arms around his waist and burrowing close to him. His own arms had closed around her and they had spent several minutes just kissing; soft, tender, loving kisses to remind each other that regardless of how difficult a situation they had each other. The tension had slowly left Robin's body and as they had finally drifted off to sleep she had tangled her legs through his and brought her head to rest on his chest. In his life he had not experienced a greater feeling than being wrapped together with the woman he loved. It had become his anchor.

His adjustment to the PEP had been much faster this time and he wondered if his body hadn't just become immune to being knocked around be medication; afterall if he could make it through chemotherapy and radiation what were a few pills. He had told Eric the first day and always his friend had offered only support and not a single judgemental word. Now, two days into it, he knew he needed to tell his father. One one level he believed it wasn't his father's business and that there was no need to tell anyone else about it. But thinking back to the letter he had written him, laying out how much he meant to him, he knew it would be unfair to keep this information from him.

Sucking in a deep breath, Patrick knocked on the door and waited. He heard the chain being pulled from the door and a shy smile formed across his mouth as his father pulled open the door.

"H-hi"

"Patty" Noah said softly, trying to hide his surprise. He could count on one hand all the times his son had visited his apartment in the two years he had been in Port Charles. And while he was grateful for the surprise visit, his stomach started to knot; he was under no illusions that his son was making a purely social visit. "Come in"

Patrick pulled the black beanie from his head as he crossed the threshold. His hair was growing thicker every day and it was going a long way to making him feel more like himself than anything else could.

"How are y-y-you?"

"I'm good" Noah replied, holding his hand out to take his coat. "Do you want something to drink?"

Patrick shrugged. "T-tea?"

"Sure" Noah strode the kitchen and plugged the kettle in.

Walking into the living room Patrick smiled as he saw one of his mother's paintings hanging over the mantle. It showed the Hamptons house ablaze in fall colours and if he remembered correctly it was one of the last paintings she had done. Moving closer to it he drank it in and traced his finger over her signature in the bottom right hand corner. There was never going to be a day when he didn't miss her. Looking over his shoulder as he heard his father come in to the room he knew that his father felt exactly the same way.

"How are you feeling?" Noah asked as he pressed a mug into his son's hand.

Patrick gave a weak smile. "Ok-k-kay" he answered, sinking into the dark green couch. He set his mug down on the table and reached for his board and pen.

Robin and I had an accident

"What kind of accident?" Noah asked as he tried to keep his vioce steady.

The condom broke. I'm on PEP.

Noah blanched visibly and his hand trembled ever so slighty as he reached for his own mug with steam billowing into the air. He was not unaware of the risks his son faced by being in a relationship with an HIV positive woman and for the most part he was able to push them from his mind but this news brought them all rushing back. Taking a long sip of tea, he leaned back into his chair and prayed he would say the right thing.

"How is Robin's viral load?"

It's back to where it was. The risk to me is very small.

"But not eliminated. The risk to you is not eliminated."

Patrick narrowed his eyes as he looked at his father. It was a dance, an awkward nerve-wracking dance they did on this subject. Each putting one foot forward and testing the waters, trying not to do or say the wrong thing.

I was at greater risk during the Gilbert surgery. Anyways, I'm going to be fine there's no need to worry.

Noah scoffed. "Son, one day you're going to be a father and you will understand that there is no off switch to worrying about your children. I hate that Robin is HIV positive - it's unfair but I also hate the risk it represents to you-"

"I L-LOVE HER!" he exclaimed loudly.

"I know you do" he told him softly. "And I think she's a great match for you. But the virus she carries scares the crap out of me because you are my son - my only child - and the idea that you could contract HIV worries me."

Patrick rolled his eyes and folded his arms across his chest in disbelief, glaring incredulously at his father.

Noah shook his head. "If you're expecting me to apologise you'll have a long wait. And I bet if you were to ask Mac, if the situation were reversed, if he would be overjoyed at his niece being in a relationship with a man who is HIV positive you would find that he would say no. It doesn't mean I don't love Robin - I do and I admire the relationship the two of you have - and the man you are with her. But the reality of HIV makes me worried for you and I won't apologise for that."

Sighing, he pulled his board back to his lap. I appreciate you worrying about me but as I told Robin, this was bound to happen and will happen again as we build a life together.

Noah blinked several times in surprise as he read the board. "B-build a life together?" he stammered, a smile forming on his face. "Are you...do you want to....do you think...are you going to propose?"

He decided to keep the news of his first impromptu proposal under wraps. He nodded as he answered. "Y-yes." How did you know that Mom was the person you wanted to marry?

Pulling his glasses from his face, he glanced at the painting over the mantle and back at his son. "Because it was impossible to imagine a life not married to her" he answered softly.

I get that Patrick wrote, smiling.

Noah nodded. "I am so very proud of you and your mom would be too."

****
Robin sank down on the bench beside Eric and tiredly rubbed her hands over her face. It had been a long, complicated surgery on a six year old boy already weakened by kidney disease. The list of his previous injuries took her breath away as did the size of the intracereberal hemorrhage. For such a little boy his body had been through the wringer.

"You were really, really good" Robin said as she massaged the back of her neck.

Opening his eyes, Eric inhaled sharply. "Thanks. I'm grateful you were there - your suggestions were spot on. Now I know why Pantsy doesn't like to share you with other doctors."

She could not keep the flush from her cheeks. Patrick was always quiet in his praise of her and as they first got to know each other she thought it was because he didn't value her skills; as time went on she learned that he was territorial and didn't want other doctors poaching her away from him. It was both flattering and irritating at the same time.

"How do you feel about his prognosis?"

Eric shrugged exhaustedly. "He's got so many strikes against him. Curtis thinks his leg healed incorrectly from a previous break and wants to rebreak it so he can reset it. Honestly, how much can one child take?"

"You don't...you don't like peds cases do you?"

He shook his head. "They're hard. I find them emotionally draining and this kid - this little boy deserves so much better than what life has offered him so far. Beaten by his father, ignored by his mother - who the hell does that to a child?"

"Is it harder because you can't have children?" she prodded gently.

Shooting her a curious look, he leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees. "I don't know, probably. All I know is that if I were a parent - if I were that lucky to have a child - there is no force on earth that could make me hurt them; I would sooner die."

Readjusting her ponytail, she swiveled on the bench to face him. Thoughts of pregnancy, children and parenthood had been ever present in her mind since she decided against taking the morning after pill. The chances that she could get pregnant were miniscule but it was enough to let her mind wander to foolish places. "Have you ever thought about adopting? Eric someone who wants to be a parent as badly as you should be"

"That's really kind of you," he told her quietly, "but they don't let single men adopt - we're all closeted pedophiles don't you know?"

"But you're not single," she protested, "you're with Alexis."

Eric chuckled. "Alexis and I are a very, very long way away from having that conversation - if ever. Look, we don't all get everything we want from life and some days I'm okay with that and some days I'm not."

"And today?"

"Definitely not okay with it," he admitted. "That boy on my table is precious and beautiful and that someone saw fit to use him as a punching bag makes me sick." Sucking in a breath he cocked his head to the side and looked at her. "What about you and Patrick? Have you guys thought about kids?"

Chewing on her bottom lip, Robin shrugged. "We had one very vague conversation about it a while ago. But he doesn't want to be a father," she told him, recalling his scribbled sentence.

"How do you know if he hasn't said so?"

"I just do" she replied, twisting her surgical cap in her hands. "He has built a life that doesn' t have room for children."

Leaning back against the wall Eric gave her a bemused smile. "True. But he also built a life that didn't have room for falling in love and yet he did. In fact one could say he embraced it"

"It's not the same thing" Robin cast her eyes to the floor.

"No, it's not" he agreed. "But it's not impossible either. Look Patrick may take a long time to make up his mind and when he does he's pretty sure of himself but he is always - always - open to having his mind changed under the right circumstances."

"We're not ready for baby anyways," she told him as she rose to her feet. "We have so much going on. Anyways, I should go wrap up my notes and head home - as should you."

"Yes boss," he grinned.

Giving him a small wave Robin headed for the door, stopping as he called to her.

"Thanks for all your all help today - I couldn't have done it without you."

"I was glad to be there - thanks for asking"

"And Robin? Have a little faith in my boy - he might just surprise you."