Chapter 143

I will love you to the end
Long will I remain in your keeping

As a wave of nausea washed over her, Robin took several steps back and sank onto a chair. Clenching her eyes shut, she cradled her head in her hands and let out a long slow breath.

Worried by her stumbling, Patrick was by her side in a shot. "R-r-robin?"

Swallowing thickly, she raised her head and gave him a rueful smile. "I just got up too quickly and was a little dizzy. I'm okay."
Pressing his lips to her forehead, he kissed her softly before rising to his feet and walking back to the chaise longue. Reaching across, he picked the board and marker up from the ground before returning to her. Sliding into the chair beside her, he set the board on the table and scribbled a note.

You really don't think we're ready to buy a house together?

She pulled nervously at her bottom lip and was quiet for several moments before answering. "It's….I mean…it's a big deal – a house is a big deal"

Tilting his head to the side, he looked at her quizzically. A house is small compared to what we've been through Robin.

"Patrick it's a huge…it's an enormous commitment. It's mortgages and lawyers and-"

"I asked y-y-you to m-marry me" he reminded her. "House n-not bigger th-than that."

She ran her hand over her face, taking one shaky breath after another. "I…I…" she stammered. Things seemed to be swirling around her as her heart pounded heavily in her chest.

Patrick's face twisted into a grimace as he watched her. He had made assumptions – based on a solid foundation, or so he thought – about their future. He was convinced their relationship would be the last one for both of them and that the struggles of the last year had only deepened their connection. But looking at Robin, normally articulate and forthright, struggle to say something – anything – he was beginning to wonder if his basic premise was all wrong.

Do you not see a future for us? His hand shook as he wrote the words. He dreaded the answer but needed it at the same time.

Robin gasped as she read his note. Taking the board and marker from him, she swiped it clean and wrote:

I'm freaking out.

Patrick's mouth curled up into a knowing smile as he read the note and reaching across the table took her hand in his.

"It's ok-k-kay" he told her as he reassuringly stroked her arm.

She inhaled sharply. "I'm not sure why you're saying that. It's….god Patrick I don't know what it is but it's making me want to throw up."

Dragging his chair so it was flush against hers, he gently stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers. "It's ok-kay" he repeated.

Robin shook her head and wrote. I do see a future with you Patrick. I see forever with you but you mention the house and I got overwhelmed.

"Didn't l-l-let me finish" he chided her kindly. "It's ok-kay to g-get what you w-w-want."

Robin sank against the back of her chair and exhaled. "Is that what you think?" she asked, looking for reassurance. "That I'm so afraid of having what I want?"

He nodded seriously and took the board back. I think you have experienced a lot of loss and disappointment in your life and I think it's made you nervous about wishing for good things. I think you don't believe that good things last and that if we take this step we're one step closer to blowing up.

Tears sprang to Robin's eyes and she swiped quickly at them. He understood her – apparently even better than he understood herself. He had articulate exactly what she was feeling. So many good things in her life and in the lives of people she loved had fallen apart that she felt it was better to keep her feet on solid ground rather than reach for more. She had spent more than a decade believing that if she kept her expectations small, her wishes reasonable and her desire in check then she stood a chance at being content. Content was not joyful, liberated happiness but it was much better than being miserable. Or alone.

"We w-w-won't blow up" he said softly.

"How can you be so sure?" she asked, sniffling.

"B-b-because I l-love you"

Throwing her arms around his neck, she slid into his lap and held him tightly, releasing a shuddering breath against his shoulder. He rubbed her back and kissed her cheek. Pulling back and gazing into his eyes, she ran the pads of her thumbs along his cheeks.

"I love you too" she told him throatily. "I don't mean to be such a basket case-"

"Y-you aren't" he interjected. "F-f-freaking is normal"

She sighed and brushed her lips against his. "I like the idea of the house," she told him quietly. "And I'd like for us to go look at it when we get home – if you're sure?"

Furrowing his brow, he looked at her in confusion. "D-don't I s-seem sure?"

Robin nodded. "But I know how you feel about commitment and being tied down" she reminded him. "This is not a natural state for you. And I don't want you ever to be in a position where you're doing something because you think you have to."

The crease in his forehead deepened. "Com-m-mitment not natural f-for me. C-c-commitment to you is." His hands slid around her hips and he drew her closer to him. "D-don't doubt me"

"I love you" she whispered, "more and more every day."

*****
As the plane descended in to Port Charles, Patrick gently nudged Robin awake, smiling as she looked around disoriented.

"Sl-leepy head" he teased.

She rubbed her eyes and growled at him. "It's your fault. I said twice was enough, that we had to get up early but oh no, you wanted round three. You would think we never do it at the rate you were going last night."

He shrugged unapologetically. "Can't g-g-get enough"

"I know it makes me a party pooper" she said as she undid her seatbelt, "but I think when we get home I'm going to go back to bed and see if I can't shake the jet lag. I'd rather not be dragging my behind tomorrow at work."

"Okay" he nodded. "G-going to see m-my dad."

His mind drifted to the ring tucked away in the far corner of his luggage. He was practically bursting to show his father, dying to let him know that despite being sure it would never be something he wanted, he had found someone to love for the rest of his life.

Slinging the carryon luggage over his shoulder, he took Robin's hand and they exited the plane together.

The goodbyes with Brenda had been tearful and full of giggles. She had also quietly and very sincerely told him that she was happy he was in Robin's life, an approval he did not take lightly. On the car ride to the airport, he handed the list to Robin and watched with a smile on her face as she crossed off yet another item on it. His connection to her was deepening by the day and after their honesty on the terrace he felt sure hers to him was as well.

Once inside the apartment, Robin dropped her bags where she stood and headed straight for the bedroom, exhausted and wanting nothing more than to sleep away the day. Patrick followed her, tucked her in and kissed her good night before heading back to his suitcase.

Being careful not to draw any attention, he slowly unzipped his bag, fished around for the small velvet covered box and quickly retrieved it before zipping the bag closed. He slipped it in his pocket and grabbing his keys from the table by the hall, headed out the door.

It was a short walk to his father's apartment and his fingers continued to trace the outline of the velvet box in his pocket as he hustled through the park and into the building. He could not keep the smile from his face as he knocked on the door.

Noah pulled the door open and did a double take as he saw his son standing on the other side.

"Patrick"

"Hi, c-can come in?" he asked.

"Of course," Noah said stepping out of the way.

Relief washed over him as he took a long look at him. Patrick had colour back in his cheeks, his hair was almost long enough that it was nearly impossible to tell it had been shaved; even the small patch on the back of his head where the radiation had been aimed seemed smaller. He was standing taller and looked stronger.

His son was back and he nearly wept with gratitude.

"H-how are you?" Patrick asked, flopping on to the couch.

"I'm good, though apparently not as good as you. How was Rome?"

"Am-mazing" he said, smiling. "J-just amazing."

"And did you pass the best friend test?"

His trademark, cocky smirk reappeared on his face as he nodded. "Like th-there was a d-doubt?"

"Silly me" Noah teased. "And Robin? She's doing well?"

"V-very." Reaching into his pocket, Patrick pulled out the box and passed it to his father.

Noah gave him a curious look before prying it open. His mouth dropped open slightly as he saw the gleaming sapphire beaming against the dark velvet. A small whoosh of breath escaped his lips.

"Oh my goodness" he said softly. "You're going to propose?"

Patrick nodded, his eyes dancing. "S-soon. She's th-the one" he said simply. "The only one I w-w-want."

"I am so very proud of you Sport."

Noah felt his heart expand with happiness. He had worried about his son for so long, worried about the damage he had inflicted but in spite of it all he had become the man he and Mattie both had hoped he would be.

"G-going to b-b-buy a house too. I'm a grown up n-now" he joked.

Noah looked back at the ring before meeting his son's eyes. "This is everything I could have wanted for you and more."

"W-wanted to say th-thanks" Patrick said somewhat shyly.

"Thanks?" Noah queried.

"For b-b-believing in me, even wh-when I couldn't."

Noah furiously wiped at the tears that had formed and smiled lovingly at his son. "Oh that. That was an easy thing to do. Some day when you're a father Patrick, you'll know that your child's potential is the easiest thing in the world to see. And believing in them is second nature."

Patrick smiled. "M-maybe s-s-someday."

Noah closed the box and handed it back to him. "Patrick, Robin is a lucky, lucky woman. And I love you."

"M-me too D-dad."

****
Robin woke feeling as though an elephant had parked itself on her chest. Scrambling from the bed, she ran to the bathroom making it just in time to be sick. Her breasts felt heavy and sore and the dull ache of cramps in her stomach continued to pester her. Rising to her feet, she shuffled to the sink, splashing her face with cold water.

If she didn't know better she was ready to believe she was in the middle of one her worst periods ever. But it wasn't possible as it had not yet been 28 days.

Her head shot up and she stared at her reflection in the mirror. A cold sweat trickled down her back.

It was not possible. It was simply not possible. She staggered backwards and covered her mouth with her hand.

Stumbling from the bathroom, she headed to the den and pulled open the filing cabinet. In the back of the first drawer were a pile of samples that pharmaceutical and other medical companies regularly provided to doctors. She normally kept one of everything in her office at home in case she needed to look it up and one set at home. Rifling through the boxes, her hands started to shake.

"Come on, come on" she muttered. Spying the pink and blue box she grabbed it and slammed the door shut before sprinting back to the bathroom.

She read the instructions for the fourth time before finally taking the test. Putting the cap back on the end of the stick, she set it on the counter and waited.

She paced along the cold tiled floor as the minutes ticked by with excruciating slowness. Her mind was jumbled and short circuiting. She didn't know what she wanted the answer to be or what she should want it to be. She was on the verge of having everything she wanted and she wondered if the results would complete that or throw it all to hell.

She jerked as the buzzer on her watch vibrated against her wrist. Reluctantly, she walked to the counter and flipped the stick over to read the results. Clutching the stick in her hands, she sank to the floor in disbelief.

She was pregnant.