"You're an alien?"
"Still better than coma-guy!"
The Doctor just looked at Wilson, not answering his question with words.
"Come on, we better move."
House was sitting on his couch, playing with his giant tennis ball, completely at ease, probably due to the Vicodin and his insistence on this all being a hallucination. He was also paying very close attention to the tall skinny bloke currently sitting at his desk.
The Doctor was at House's computer, scanning it with a blue light, Wilson watching.
"Do you even use this computer for work?"
The pin-strip clad man seemed almost amazed, definitely frustrated. His eyes only left the computer screen to check his blue light thingy and then back to the screen.
"What are you trying to do and what is that light?"
House wasn't even going to pretend to be grumpy over the invasion of privacy, not like he kept it secret anyway, plus there was curiosity burning to be satisfied.
Wilson wasn't at all shocked by what they found on House's computer.
"It's a sonic screwdriver."
"A what?"
"Ah come on Wilson, how hard is it? It's a screwdriver he's messed with so it gives of light and calls it a sonic screwdriver to fit in with the delusions 'I'm an alien.' I want to know what drugs he's on and where I can get some."
The Doctor pushed away from the computer and started pacing the room. The sonic screwdriver was slipped into his coat pocket, much to House's amazement there was no evidence that a cylindrical object lay there. The pacing was accompanied by his hands running through his hair, as if in an attempt to dislodge the answer from his head.
"Seems they've locked the computers, they are thick! Right, they are looking for something that looks human but isn't. They don't care for looking up records because it could be a shape-changer."
The Doctor stoped and looked at Wilson as the latter started to speak.
"House doesn't keep the paperwork up and all the interesting cases are his. Any alien in a hospital would be an interesting case, therefore House's, therefore no real record."
The Time Lord turned to House, not quite sure what to make of the man. House spoke before the Doctor could voice any of a number of thoughts.
"Doesn't matter anyway, computer is locked like you said. I wouldn't worry, the big thick idiotic Judoon will find it and leave."
"No. if they declare the hospital guilty of harbouring a fugitive they'll sentence it to execution."
Silence settled on the room briefly, the weight of such a sentence smothering even House's attempts to pretend, a few seconds later Cuddy stormed into the room.
"House! Why is your patient sucking the blood out of another patient?!"
Cuddy went straight to House, not looking anywhere but him, anger in her voice and her posture showing that this time it was not going to be let go.
"They were doing what?!"
"I have another patient?!"
At least this time House was surprised like everyone else, if not for the right reason.
"She had a straw in his neck, drinking his blood like a vampire! And what is with the Rhinos?"
"Told you she'd blame me," House seemed almost bored.
"Funny time to take a snack-" Cuddy finally realised Wilson and another man were in the room, all eyes went to the Doctor as he spoke again.
"You'd think she'd be hiding. Unless-no. Yes! That's it, wait a minute. Yes! Shape-changer, internal shape-changer. She wasn't drinking blood, she was assimilating it."
The Doctor charged through the door, out into the hallway.
"Why didn't you stop her?"
Cuddy couldn't reply to House's irritating question as the strange man poked his head back into the room.
"She didn't by any chance have leather-men with her?"
Cuddy nodded numbly.
"Right, well, here comes one now so… Run!"