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Missing Promises

Michael lost track of time. He had no clue how long he had been leaning against the brick wall next to the window where he found the engagement ring he had given to Nikita. He thought long and hard about what kind of ring he wanted to get her and when to give it to her. He thought about when he was contained in China and the officer confiscated the ring. He went back inside and fought to get that ring. He had worked so hard deciding how he was going to propose and nothing was going to stop him from doing it his way, the right way. He never thought that he would find the ring back in his hands again.

The only question going through his head as he studied the little bit of light being reflected off the ring from the setting sun was "why?" He knew that Nikita had been worried and doubtful that their diligent team and most importantly friends would be able to help keep her from being contained by the United States government for the rest of her life. He just did not expect her to leave without saying anything or I love you...

"Damn it..." He gritted his teeth and slammed his fist against the wall. The sharp pain crept through his once robotic hand and made him tense up. He couldn't believe that his desperation to have back what he once took for granted would have ended up becoming the driving force behind Amanda's scheme to destroy the woman he loved and would have died for.

He felt sick to his stomach and wondered where Nikita was at that point in time. He was anxious and antsy to do something but what could he do? Division was gone. There were no more recruit rooms, computers, Ops, weapons or agents. If someone discovers that old farmhouse and manages to open the metal door leading to Divison they would only find crumbled remains of an underground facility but he knew there would be no evidence at that Division ever existed. That part of their lives was over and yet this was not what he had expected. He thought everyone would finally be able to live the lives that they always wanted. They were close. But Amanda got in the way and caused all of their dreams to come crashing down without warning. Despite all the odds being against them, Michael hadn't planned on giving up before and he wasn't planning on it now. It wasn't in his blood, and Nikita should have known better.

He put the ring deep in his pocket and brushed his hand over his pocket to make sure it was safely inside. Then, he walked back to face everyone and tell them what deep down he knew before he picked up the phone to call her.

They all already knew by the look on his face that it wasn't good news.

"She didn't answer." He looked at everyone's face turn from unsure to completely discouraged.

"Niki's gone?" Birkhoff asked in disbelief.

"Why would she leave?" asked Sonya.

"She doesn't want us involved. She wants to keep us safe," Alex said. She knew her friend.

"Put all the heat on herself...she could be turning herself in." Ryan said in his usual way, analyzing situations and making conclusions based on evidence.

"What?" Birkhoff scoffed. "No way , she wouldn't." He looked at all of them and could see in their eyes that they thought otherwise.

"If she does this she doesn't have to worry about anyone else getting hurt. She was going to sacrifice herself to keep Michael safe..."

"Nikita shouldn't be making decisions for me or any of you! We knew what we were signing up for! I can decide for myself what kind of risks that I want to take! We should be in this together!" Michael lost control and was yelling out all of his built up frustrations over Amanda, Nikita, and the current situation. He felt like he lost complete control and it scared him. Alex grabbed his arm and turned him toward her.

"Michael...she is only doing this because she loves you..." Alex said in her gentle tone.

"And I love her too I just wish that she would understand that we are in this together. She may want to save me but if something happens to her I..." He stopped and tightened his hands into fists. He couldn't let himself get that upset in front of everyone. He couldn't. He had to be strong, but it hurt so bad. They all stood silently.

"Look we don't know if she turned herself in. She could be laying low." Ryan said.

"But we don't know that for sure. Birkhoff can you track her?" Michael asked.

"Well, if we were back at Division I could have no problem, but I don't have Shadow Net here."

"How long will it take you to get Shadow Net up and running again?"

"I would need the proper equipment. When I was repairing it at Division I still had all the necessary pieces I just had to put it back together but right now I would have to start from scratch...it could take weeks...months." His voice lowered the more he went on. He knew that wasn't what Michael or any of them wanted to hear.

"Michael don't worry. We will find her," Alex kept trying to coax him.

Michael felt his frustration become unbearable at that point and he knew that he had to leave and clear his mind.

"I'll be back," he said abruptly and left the group standing there baffled and overwhelmed. They waited until they were sure he was gone to say anything.

"I'm sorry but if Niki is really laying low it will be near impossible to find her especially without Shadow Net. She knows what she is doing," Birkhoff admitted.

"I feel so bad for Michael. He feels completely useless," Sonya said.

"The most we can do right now is watch the news and see what they know about the assassination and hope that she does not create any breaking news tonight," Ryan said.

"Birkhoff and Sonya do you think you can work on getting Shadow Net up and running?" Alex asked.

"Yeah."

"Of course."

Alex and Ryan sat down in front of the TV.

"I wonder where he went," Ryan said.

"Somewhere to think. He has been through a lot. You can't blame him for feeling the way he does. Nikita did the same thing to me. She kept me from the truth and it ended up working against her. She promised she'd be honest from that point forward. I guess she hasn't yet made that promise to Michael."

"Or maybe they haven't yet made that promise to each other."