Disclaimer- I am no more the owner of the Harry Potter universe, then I am of the entire universe.

A/N- I am so proud of myself! Another chapter, finished relatively quickly! It may be slightly shorter then usual, but that's alright. I'll just make sure to make longer chapters in future! Enjoy!

Chapter Nine

The Terrible Twos – Part One

"No."

"Harry, please, just put the jumper on."

"No."

"Harry, it's awfully cold out there."

"No."

"Come on mate, just put the ruddy jumper on!"

"No!"

"Put it on Harry."

"No!"

"You'll freeze to death."

"NO! No, no, no!"

Ron wearily rubbed his temples with a groan as Hermione continued trying to coax Harry to put a jumper on. It was the middle of October and Harry had been difficult for about a week now, since the day Harry found it was fun to encourage two dogs to fight.

"Ow!" Ron said, as something hard suddenly hit in the side of the head. He looked down to see a plastic ball and looked back up at the scowling Harry who was looking none to happy at either of them.

"I no wanna wear jumper!" Harry screamed. "No!"

"If you don't put it on yourself I will stun you and put it on you," Hermione growled, finally losing her temper. "Do it now!"

Looking sulky Harry crossed his arms over his chest defiantly. Almost snarling now Hermione pulled her wand out of her robe pocket and was about to point it at Harry when Ron grabbed her wrist.

"As much as I would like to stun him," Ron said, glaring at Harry, "I've heard enough stories from mum to know that is not the way to go."

"Fine," huffed Hermione, tucking her wand away reluctantly.

"You don't have to put a jumper on Harry," Ron said calmly to the little boy, ignoring the hysterical shriek of "WHAT?" from Hermione. "We'll go down to the dungeons right now, and if you get cold and ask for your jumper, you can have it. Let's go."

Triumphant Harry allowed Ron to pick him up so they wouldn't be late. Ron counted his blessing that Harry hadn't suddenly gained a streak of independence and wanted to walk on his own.

"Ron, how could you?" hissed Hermione. "You should have backed me up."

"I was," said Ron out of the corner of his mouth. "Harry will be forced to back down at some point when he gets cold. Let nature take its course Hermione. We won't let him freeze anyway."

"Want to bet?" Hermione grumbled so quietly Ron wasn't sure that he heard it.

"That is it!"

Everyone in the common involuntarily took a step back away from one furious Hermione Jane Granger, who was glaring fiercely at the little Harry Potter, who looked like he wanted to flee then and there.

They had just gotten back from a double lesson of Potions. This in itself had made Hermione's temper shorter then it usually was, as it made everyone's when they were forced to spend so long a forced proximity with the smirking Slytherins and the most hated teacher in the school.

But added to this had been Harry's behaviour within the class.

Now, normally Hermione would probably be able to tolerate that sort of thing. After all, it was Snape, snarky git extraordinaire, they were talking about. But she had been short-tempered with Harry to start with, and he had not helped matters in the slightest.

Flashback

Hermione was watching Harry out of the corner of her eye as she carefully stirred her potion. After his behaviour this past week she wanted to make sure that he wouldn't get into anymore mischief.

Harry went and sat by Neville Longbottom, whose potion was turning out to smell like a combination of bad eggs and lemon. He looked curiously into the potion.

"What you making?" he asked, making Neville jump slightly since he had hadn't heard the young boy sit beside him.

"Oh, hello Harry," said Neville, wiping away some sweat on his brow. "I'm trying to make a potion."

"Oh," said Harry.

He sat silently for a moment. Then…

"Why's it smell funny?" he asked.

Hermione only just managed to prevent her eyes from widening in horror. They could go through the 'Why?' stage yet! They were barely handling the 'Terrible Twos' stage!

"Because I made it wrong Harry," answered Neville miserably. "And I know I'm going to fail potions."

Snape was swooping down the rows now, marking the potions.

"An abysmal attempt Weasley," he sneered at Ron's. He came to hers, scowled at her and moved on. Hermione, used to this occurrence by now, filled a vial with potion and started packing up her things.

"Longbottom, I could expect no better from you," he said to Neville, who hung his hand. "I am obviously wasting my time with you. This mess is totally useless. Evanesco!"

What happened next was likely to go down in history for no one had ever, ever purposely picked a fight with Professor Snape without being provoked.

Then again it could be said that he was provoked by seeing Neville's down-trodden face. All anyone really knew for sure was that Harry stood up on his chair and yelled at Snape:

"Big mean bully!"

Everything seemed to stop for a moment. Many would have sworn that the world stopped spinning on its axle for that moment it was so still. Snape slowly turned on the spot and looked at Harry so murderously that he seemed to shrink back slightly.

"What did you say?" he snarled out.

"You're a- a big mean bully!" Harry said, regaining confidence in the face of the direct confrontation.

"Harry," moaned Neville, tugging on his pants leg. "Stop it."

"Sit down and shut up Potter," Snape snapped. "Complain about my teaching methods when you are old enough to understand them."

"No!" Harry yelled.

There was a thump beside Hermione as Ron's head hit the desk. She was too stunned to really do anything except wonder when they should plan Harry's funeral.

He has a death wish, she thought in horror. He really does.

"Sit down Potter, NOW!" yelled Snape.

"No!" Harry yelled back, just as loudly. "You mean git!"

"I don't care if you are two or not Potter," said Snape loudly. "If you do not obey I shall put you in detention!"

"No!" Harry repeated.

"Harry…" Neville said again, seeing his two guardians weren't in the right mind-frame to really do anything.

"Quiet Longbottom!" snapped Snape.

"Leave him alone!" Harry shouted.

"Doing a little protector's stint are you Potter?" asked Snape maliciously. "Pity that's what gets people killed in the first place."

Hermione could see Harry wasn't sure what that meant exactly, but he knew it was meant to hurt. And it did hurt. Badly.

Which turned into a mounting fury that the sixteen-year-old Harry could only ever hope to meet.

Palm facing outwards Harry thrust his hand out in front of him viciously. Snape was knocked over, the wind knocked out of him. Perhaps if they weren't so worried about the potential murder of one Harry Potter sometime soon the Gryffindors would have found the sight of Snape suddenly in a pink dress, high heels and curly black hair hilariously funny.

Before anyone could say anything the bell rang. The Gryffindors all leapt up, grabbed their bags, dropped their vials off and left, Ron grabbing Harry on the way out.

End flashback

Hermione scowled at the toddler before her.

"I am never… hear me?... never going to take you anywhere again while you are behaving like this," she yelled at Harry. "I honestly do not know what has gotten into you lately!"

"Sowwy," Harry mumbled.

"You know what the worst part is?" Hermione asked heatedly. "You stand there and say sorry… but you don't mean it! You'll only do the same thing tomorrow and the next day, and the day after that! You will just keep being naughty!"

Harry looked down at his toes. The truth was that he didn't mean to be naughty. He certainly didn't want to be. But it was like inside his mind there were two, maybe even three sometimes, sides warring against each other suddenly, causing him to be irksome and upset because he didn't understand. And he didn't know how to tell Won and 'Mione either.

"… unbelievably stupid," Hermione continued. "If Snape had hexed you he would have been well within his rights to do so! What makes you think in that thick head of yours that you have the power to go insulting teachers? Snape already hated you enough and you've just gone and made it worse!"

"I didn't mean to 'Mione," Harry said earnestly in an attempt to explain his weird feelings lately.

"Yes you did Harry!" yelled Hermione. "You did mean it! You knew exactly what you were doing! And yet you still did it! I should- should- should send you away until you've learnt how to behave properly! And since I don't think you will ever learn I should just send you away for good!"

Harry felt himself shaking slightly. 'Mione wanted to send him away? Back to his aunt and uncle? But they promised!

But maybe she hated him now. Maybe she didn't want him around anymore, that's why she wanted to send him away. Maybe Won didn't either, which was why he didn't say anything. And Gin-Gin, and Pafoot and Moony and Granda and Grandma and Artur and mama Molly…. Maybe they all hated him!

"You were completely irresponsible," Hermione said. "And if you ever do that again you will be punished severely. For now you will stay in the common room every day. We will bring food up to you. You will not be allowed to attend meals or classes. Black will be taken care of by someone else. I am really disappointed in you Harry."

Harry felt his eyes fill with tears, one of which slipped down his cheek. Unable to deal with the foreign emotion, which didn't even have a name to him, he grabbed hold of anger and distress as he had been doing for the past week.

"You mean too 'Mione!" he shouted, saying the first words that came to mind, and knowing that if he said the words first it wouldn't hurt so much when she said them to him. "I hate you!"

He turned and ran out the portrait hole, which had just been opened by a student and forgotten while they watched Hermione rant.

Hermione slowly span on her heel, looking at the group surrounding her.

"Which stupid person left the portrait hole open?" she seethed through gritted teeth.

Everyone pointed at one another.

Harry ran, stumbling along, down the now empty corridors as everyone was at lunch or in the house common rooms getting ready for class. He ran up stairs in unexplored territories and he still kept going, wanting to put as much distance between him and Hermione. She wouldn't lock him up, he wouldn't let her, or anyone else for that matter.

He hated being locked up.

Look out for- The Terrible Twos, Part Two. It seems Ron and Hermione have gotten themselves in quite a predicament with their unfortunately difficult charge. How are they go to find him now? And how are they going to protect themselves from getting, literally blown away by Harry's magic when they do?

It seems that I have delved into the slightly more angsty stuff this chapter, but it won't stay that way for long! This story, and always will be, first and foremost a humour fic.

Reviews!

athenakitty- Yeah, that's about right:) The antidote... well, don't get your hopes up too high for that. When I've finished writing the Terrible Twos chapter, something about that is going to come to light. And Snape has not been making the potion badly because of what happened... Dumbledore would have his head if he did so! Dumbledore will probably be on babysitting duty a little later. I hope you liked my oneshot Ignorance is Bliss!

Heather- Unfortunately, Sirius could not make an appearance in this chapter. He was too busy sulking that Harry had outwitted him, and Remus was too busy laughing at him. But the incident will probably be mentioned quite a few times actually. Because Remus will never let it lie. So you will get to see plenty of Sirius' reaction to what happened!

Thanks to-

utahtoken, imgonnadie, hittocerebattosai, SpellMasters, emeraud.silver, Lurk

Thank you so much for all the reviews that I've gotten so far. They really help me to continue writing when, if I hadn't had the encouragement, I probably would have let this story die quite awhile ago. Every review helps.