Chapter 169

It's the heart that really matters in the end

"Patrick knows Robin is going to be here, right?" Alexis asked as she opened the wine bottle and set it on the table.

"Yes," Eric answered, checking the lasagne bubbling up in the oven. "He said he would be fine."

It had been almost two weeks since Josh had arrived and now that they had all found a routine together, Alexis suggested a dinner with friends to celebrate the addition to their family. She had insisted that both Patrick and Robin be present given what they meant to both of her and Eric and also secretly hoped that the opportunity might present itself for them to take a few more tentative steps towards each other.

A knock at the door brought all three children running from the playroom to see who had arrived. Exiting the kitchen, Eric headed to greet their first arrival. Smiling broadly, he opened the door.

"Hi Robin"

"Wobin! Wobin!' Molly cried happily running towards her.

Grinning, Robin bent down and scooped the young girl up in her arms and hugged her tightly. "Hi Mols, how are you?"

"Good" she replied as she threaded her fingers through Robin's long, silky hair.

Brenda extended her hand to Eric. "I'm Brenda Barrett" she said, "Robin's friend."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Eric Smitherman."

"I've heard lots about you," she smiled, "but never once did Robin mention that you're a hottie."

His cheeks flushed bright red and he was momentarily at a loss for words. Still holding Molly, Robin turned and glared at her friend. "Brenda!"

She shrugged unapologetically. "What? He's good-looking - I wasn't supposed to notice?"

Emerging from the dining room, Alexis waved everyone in. "Don't just stand there, come in, come in. Molly, why don't you let Robin set you down?"

Her daughter shook her head. "No! I wanna stay here."

"It's okay" Robin said, hugging her tighter, "I haven't seen Molly in days and we need to catch up on cuddle time."

As they all settled on the couch, Josh climbed into Eric's lap and surveyed the scene. Still wary of people, he stuck close to those he knew well which usually meant Eric or Kristina. Seeing his fist curl around his shirt, Eric gently rubbed his back trying to set him at ease. "Josh, you remember Robin don't you? My friend at the hospital?"

He nodded shyly as Robin smiled at him. "How are you Josh?"

"Good."

"I hear you get to go to school next week."

"He's going to be in my class" Kristina piped up. She and Josh had formed a quick, tight bond and both Alexis and Eric had been moved by it.

"Lucky you" Brenda said. "It's always good to have friends in your class."

"Am I late?" Patrick asked sheepishly as he slipped inside the door. The sight of Robin cradling Molly in her lap sent his heart soaring and put a million images in his head as to how beautiful she was going to look with their child.

"Not at all," Alexis greeted him. Rising to her feet she met him at the door and kissed his cheek. "I'm so glad you could come" she told him quietly.

"Th-thanks."

Robin's eyes were glued to him. His dark green shirt seemed to cling to him, hinting at a physique that had been long absent. His hair was thick and shiny and if she ignored the dark circles shadowing his eyes she would swear he looked every inch the man she had met in the OR two years earlier. Smiling nervously, she gave him a small wave.

He waved back and took a seat on the couch beside Eric. "Hi" he said quietly, looking at her. Her skin was glowing and while there was no real sign of a bump yet, he could see the small changes in her body and it made him stir in response.

"Hi. How are you?"

"Good. Hey Brenda"

"Hey yourself Patrick - nice to see you."

As an uncomfortable silence fell over the room, Patrick inhaled sharply and turned his attention to Josh. "Hey buddy, how's it going?"

"Kristina and me were building cars on the Wii."

"Oh yeah? What kind of cars?"

"A mush-mush..." Stumbling over the word, he looked up to Eric for guidance.

Giving him a reassuring smile, he patted his leg. "You know what the word is" he reminded him quietly. "Take your time."

He tried to say it again but feeling the word trapped on his tongue, he started to panic. He looked anxiously from Eric to Patrick. Patrick winked at him. "You know what Josh, I get stuck on words too sometimes. Was it a mustang?" he asked. The young boy smiled and nodded. "Can you say it for me?" Patrick asked.

"M-m-mustang"

"That's awesome!"

Walking over to where Patrick and Eric were sitting, Kristina tugged on Patrick's pant leg. "Patrick, do you wanna build a car with Josh and me?"

"Sure Kristina," he said, getting to his feet. "Lead the way" Taking his hand she pulled him towards the playroom. Josh scrambled from Eric's lap, pulling on his hand and following them out of the living room.

A small sniffle escaped from the back of Robin's throat and both Brenda and Alexis turned to her in surprise.

"Robs?"

"Damn hormones," she muttered. "He's going to be an amazing father" she said tearfully, wiping at her eyes.

"Was that ever in doubt for you?" Alexis asked curiously.

Robin shook her head. There were so many things she just knew about Patrick - some times even before he did and she had known for a long time that he would be a terrific father. It had been one of the things that had made her so sad after reading the note he had written to Eric about not seeing himself as a father. Part of her disappointment then stemmed from what it meant for their future - though she had been wrong, in the end - but she was also disappointed because she instinctively recognized that he would be a great parent.

"No," she finally answered. "I just wish...I just wish..." her voice trailed off.

Brenda gave her a small squeeze. "Soon Robs, soon."

*****
Dinner had been a mostly relaxed affair, thanks in large part to the children just being themselves; they told jokes, sang songs and sent them all into peals of laughter. Patrick and Robin stole looks at each other from across the table, managed to sustain a conversation with minimal awkardness and at one point, as they both reached for the salt, their hands lingered one on top of the other.

"Wobin?" Molly asked as she swirled her spoon in her ice cream.

"Yes?"

"Is it true you have a baby in your tummy?" she asked.

Patrick choked on his drink and Alexis' cheeks burned in embarrassment. "And people say I'm direct" Brenda snorted.

Robin rolled her eyes at her friend before turning her attention back to young girl. "Yes Molly, I have a baby in my tummy. Patrick and I made a baby."

"Are you gonna get married?" she asked.

"Molly!" Alexis reproved sharply.

Patrick stared at Robin, his eyebrow raised almost in a challenge.

Keeping her eyes locked on Patrick, she answered. "Not right now Molly but some day." Patrick dropped his gaze and stared into his coffee.

"Good because I hava party dress to wear."

The table dissolved into laughter, the rising tension once again diffused. Draining his coffee, Patrick rose to his feet. "I...I have an early start tomorrow so I'm going to have to head out. Thanks very much for a nice evening."

"Thanks for coming Pantsy" Eric said, "I'll walk you out."

"Don't get up - I kind find my way out" he smiled. He gave Robin one last look before heading for the door.

He had just stepped off the porch when he heard Robin call to him. Clenching his eyes shut, he sucked in a breath before turning around. "Yes?"

With her lower lip trembling, she gripped the railing on the porch. "I'm sorry" she said plaintively, "I'm sorry things are so...so weird and awkward."

Sighing, Patrick climbed back up the stairs and leaning against the post, simply stared at her. The night sky was blanketed with stars and the slivers of moonlight peeking through made her look almost luminescent.

"I swear to god Robin, you have to stop apologizing," His voice was tired as he spoke.

A small grimace crossed her face. "You look good," she offered. "You look....you like you're putting on weight."

He smirked as he answered. "I'm boxing."

Her brown eyes went wide with surprise. "Wow." She jammed her hands in her pockets to keep from wringing them together. "So, um...when are you moving into the house?"

Shrugging, he looked off to the side, gathering himself before answering. "I'm not sure that I am."

"Patrick! You...you love that house" she exclaimed. "It was...it's a dream house"

He shook his head. "The dream wasn't the house Robin, the dream was the family that was going to live in it. I....I don't have a lot of desire to live there without you."

"Patrick, I'm...I'm really trying. I've been-"

Holding up his hand to silence her, he shook his head. "Robin, I just...I can't take it right now, okay?" Blowing out his cheeks, he rubbed his hand over his face and nervously licked his lips. "You know the first time you experience something, it's always the most intense - good or bad - there is nothing quite like the first time. I...I've never had a broken h-heart before and so I'm finding this really hard and if you're taking steps - that's great but I can't....I just..."

Stepping carefully towards him she reached for his hand and was equal parts relieved and surprised when he did not pull away. "I know" she told him hoarsely. "It's just... I miss you. I love you and I miss you."

His fingers curled through hers and he gently pulled her to him. He pressed his lips to her forehead and left a languid, lingering kiss there. He breathed in her familiar, intoxicating scent before reluctantly pulling away. "I have to go" he whispered. Dropping her hand, he ran down the stairs and disappeared down the lane to where his car was parked.

Robin stared out into the darkness, her fingers tracing where his lips had just been. He was still within reach and she wasn't going to let go of him.