A/N: Okay... I'm tired, and I know this chapter isn't the greatest. I'd fiddle with the format a bit more, but I'm soooo tired. Yeah... this part was the killer part, cuz nothing ever sounded right. But the next two chapters, I'm happy with! XD actually, this chapter, and the next two were really one gigantic chapter, but I didn't want to kill you with all the text. Umm, so yeah, here's the next fic. I'll talk more at the bottom. Happy Reading!
//Driger//
/Rei/
'thoughts'
((lyrics))
Disclaimer: I do not own beyblades in any form or manner. This fanfic was created purely for fandom. I do not make any money off of this fanfic. Furthermore, the song lyrics belong to Creed's "One Last Breath."
Until You Catch Me
Chapter 21
Disgust
((Please come now
I think I'm falling
Holding on to all I think is safe))
"So here I am again." Muttered Rei out loud while gazing above at the twinkling stars. Here it was... the moment of truth... logically Rei had it all figured out. He'd leave, travel the world, become a pro-beyblader, and maybe find his dad while he was at it. And when he gets tired of that life style... he'll head to Hong Kong and either open up a Beyblade Gym or become a chef... whichever root comes first. He'll live out his days enjoying the company of Driger. Maybe he'd even find a place that accepts homosexuals... but that's kinda pushing it. Nothing in life is ever perfect.
// Why are we here, young master? This is not the time or place to linger! They'll be searching for you... have you no sense boy?//
/I don't know why, Driger... but... something tells me that I need to come here... one last time./
// Tch, foolish boy... suit yourself.//
The truth is that deep down Rei was afraid of leaving the village. The world outside was so big, and the unknown seemed so daunting. Everything seemed so... finalized. One step out of the village... and who knows if he'll ever see the face of his mother or his friends ever again. Heck, Rei was even afraid of the loneliness that comes when traveling alone. Before, he'd always have someone beside him. He'd have his mother, or friends, or even the village elder with him whenever he was faced with a problem. But now... now he was all alone to take care of himself. Would he make it alone? ...Well... it seems like he had no choice.
It had already begun.
((It seems I've found the road to nowhere
And I'm trying to escape
I yelled back when I heard thunder))
// you're wallowing in self pity... be done with it already... // Driger grumbled.
Rei winced at Driger's statement, but found that he could not disagree. He was wallowing. But wasn't he allowed to? There's nothing left in this village for him. Lee, Mariah, Gary...Kevin... they all would be better off without him. No matter how much he tried to set things right... nothing will be the same again.
Marriage...
Friendship...
Promises... Love.
Rei screwed up. And this was the only way he knew how to fix it – the only way to make it better.
((But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say...))
So this was the moment of truth... Rei was absolutely going to leave... but… something is holding him back. One last tug at his conscience; one last confrontation. Rei was always waiting... waiting for the world to catch up to him... waiting for his friends to finally see his side of things... waiting for freedom and happiness. And now... he was waiting again.
'I feel like I'm waiting for something...'
...No...
Someone.
Kevin was frantic... boarder-line hysterical. Tears of frustration welled in his eyes, but he refused to let them fall as he ran to where his heart was guiding him. He was too angry to let them fall. If –no– when he finds Rei, he was going to beat the poor bastard into a bloody pulp! And then he was going to drag Rei by his hair back home... conscious or not.
((Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge
And I'm thinking
Maybe six feet ain't so far down))
'Almost there... I can feel it...'
And then he saw it.
The bakery shop... The beginning
Kevin jumped swiftly and silently on to the roof. His eyes darted left and right for a quick scan on his surroundings. He vaguely noted the clear night sky, a full moon that illuminated the scene with ethereal magic, the quiet serene atmosphere of the village, and the cold breeze that sent shivers down his sweaty back. None of these caught Kevin's attention compared to the lone figure centered in the middle of the roof.
Rei...
Rei stood a good twelve feet away from the opposite edge of Kevin... It made Kevin a bit nervous knowing that there was an opening for Rei to escape. Kevin felt a foreboding feeling as he glanced at that edge. Something deep inside him warned him that this edge was dangerous; it was as if it marked the point of no return. This feeling scared Kevin, making him feel even more anxious to keep Rei away from there... that dark, unknown place...
"REI, YOU ASSHOLE, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?" Kevin hissed as loud as he dared. He couldn't convey his emotions properly. Kevin felt so many different things – too many different things – all at once. He was mostly confused and scared shitless, but he was also angry and frustrated at Rei for being such a self-centered prick... and yet... despite everything...Kevin was undeniably relieved that he found Rei at the same time. He was also wary... that dark abyss beyond the edge... it was like staring at the reaper in the eye. This abyss was the invisible enemy.
"I..." Rei was lost. He knew it deep in his heart. Somehow... somehow he knew that it was Kevin who was searching for him... and yet, Rei had no words for Kevin now that they were finally face to face.
"Y-You better have a damn good explanation!" Kevin reprimanded, yet he could not hold back a slight waver in his voice. "What the hell do you think you're doing to the team??"
'To me'
"I mean – I mean... damnit, running away isn't what we fricking do! And you, YOU of all people should know that!" Kevin was now visibly trembling. There was so much to say, too many ways of saying it, too little time... "I mean... GOD DAMNIT... you LIAR! You promised! You promised that you'd take me with you and-"
"Things aren't that simple anymore, Kevin..." Rei said, softly cutting Kevin off. Kevin was rendered speechless.
'Why, Rei? Why are you like this?'
"Kevin... there are things– complicated things – that I just can't–"
"Bullshit. Rei, I'm the same fucking age as you. Don't treat me as a kid by saying shit like 'I won't understand' or 'these things are too complicated for me.' Give me a break! Look, just cuz marriage is scary doesn't mean you can abandon us like that! Don't be a dumbass!" Kevin gave an exasperated sigh and ruffled his hair in frustration. "Look, just tell me what's wrong, and I'll forgive your stupidity! I've ran around the whole damn village looking for you! Geez, you're a stupid moron, you know that?!? And it's not just me. Your mom must feel pretty shitty too! So just-just- suck it up and get married!"
"No." Rei said fiercely. Kevin had been talking a mile a minute. Even though Rei wanted nothing more but to smile and tease the green haired boy for being so incoherent, the seriousness of the situation was more imperative. "If there's anything that I won't do, it's to marry her." Rei uncharacteristically spat out his conviction. There was anger, bitterness in Rei's eyes...
It scared Kevin.
"Why, Rei?" Kevin asked weakly. His heart was pounding with helplessness. This wasn't Rei. Rei wouldn't say something like that about his teammate. The White Tigers was supposed to be as important to Rei as it was to Kevin! Even though he was scorned as the village troublemaker, the White Tigers would always be there for him... and if not... then at least Rei would be there for him. Rei always noticed... always offered a kind word... Rei was wonderful.
But that was the old Rei. The Rei in front him was different. This Rei was abandoning him. This Rei was selfish and a coward. He was betraying everything that the old Rei stood for. Kevin felt like the old Rei was fading away and everything that was ever good in his life was going too. His world was turning upside down.
"W-what's your fucking problem?!" Kevin shouted.
((I'm looking down
Now that it's over
Reflecting on all of my mistakes
I thought I found the road to somewhere))
"The problem is YOU! Yeah, that's right, YOU. You don't understand anything! You don't understand what it's like when Mariah looks at me! It's like... she's so desperately in love – it's killing her! A piece of her dies every time I'm around – I can't take it, okay? I can't because I'm just her friend, and I'm making her unhappy by being just her friend. And Lee... god, where do I start? I just piss him off, period. The only thing I can do is to get out of his face. Oh, don't you look at me like that, Kevin. YOU don't understand what it's like when everyone expects perfection! I'M NOT PERECT, OKAY? I...I'm just- I'm just screwing everything up here! I just want to be... me. But nobody here in this village will accept that. I know I'm different... and because of that I guess I'm just... plain weird... Look, Kevin. I'm tired of causing problems here... so just... let me fix this, Kevin. Just let me... do this." Rei, released a shuddering breath while he ran a hand through his bangs in agitation. So many emotions swirling inside; he was losing control of himself. All the insecurities were bubbling over. "Please, Kevin..." He whispered softly. A sudden gust of wind blew between them.
((I thought I found the road to somewhere…
Somewhere in his grace.))
Kevin tried to understand, but his own emotions were clouding his judgment. He was never good at these serious moments, but he knew he had to do something – and quick. Perhaps Rei was unconscious to his own actions, but Kevin saw it. Kevin saw it and the fear inside him clawed up to his throat. Rei had moved even closer to that edge – to that point of no return.
'No...'
"Stop being an idiot! You're not... you're not weird. Look, I know that you're feeling pressure to live up to everyone's standard, but you know what? Fuck it! You're bigger than this!" Kevin moved to grip Rei's arm. "This feeling is like a – it's like a bey-battle. You gotta fight it! So just... stop running away and go home with me! Geez, Rei, why can't you see that it's so goddamn simple?" He tightened his grip around Rei's arm and added quietly, "I-I... I don't think you're weird because you don't like Mariah. Maybe you're just such a great person that... you're too good for her. I just... argh!" Kevin shook his head in frustration.
'Don't leave me, Rei! I... I need you."
"Look, blockhead, you can't leave us! What about the White Tigers? You're the one that brings this team together! If you leave... then there will be NOTHING. If you leave, then you're telling us that you don't care about any of us! You can't betray us like that! You think I don't have problems? God damnit, stop looking at me like that. I-It's like you're giving up! This isn't like you! Where's your fighting spirit? Look, go ahead and become a celibate monk! I don't care! I don't care if you want to spit tradition in its face! I don't care if you love her or not! And if I don't care, then nobody else cares! Got it? So stop feeling sorry for yourself. It's pissing me off!"
Kevin glared at Rei with determined violet eyes. Rei saw the fighting spirit in them, and his own clouded eyes began to clear again. Kevin... always had the power to bring him back... Rei silently wondered if Kevin would save him...
"I love the White Tigers, Rei. I am NOT going to let you ruin it."
White Tigers!? Who are the White Tigers? What did the White Tigers have that Rei didn't have? A twinge of irrational jealousy went through Rei from the thought that Kevin could love something more than him. It was horribly possessive of him to think of such things... and yet, it was there: a monster living inside of Rei.
"Oh, I see now. You just want me to stay so that you can continue hiding behind the White Tigers." Rei said bitterly. "If you love the White Tigers so much, then you can have it! Become the leader if you want to! Go and be happy with your perfect little team. I don't care!" Rei gave a painful chuckle. "I don't care..."
Kevin's grip slipped from Rei's arm. "Wh-What's wrong with you?" Kevin asked in disbelief. "What... the hell? Jesus, Rei, I don't understand where you're getting off! This is... why are you... This isn't about me! This is about you!" Kevin stomped his foot to emphasize his frustration. Why was Rei being so difficult? Why had it come to this? Where did this thick feeling come from? It was... hurting...
'Rei... dai goh... it hurts'
"You don't understand, Kevin. This is about you too!"
((I cried out
Heaven save me
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say...))
"Oooh no. Don't drag me into the equation too. I did NOT cause you any problems, so don't you dare patronize me like you did to Mariah and Lee! I did nothing! There's
nothing I could possib-"
"Kevin, I love you!"
"What?"
For a moment, the two boys could only hear the rapid beatings of their hearts. Kevin's violet eyes stared steely back into Rei's amber ones. Neither was backing down, yet neither was advancing forward. Kevin didn't know what just happened. Did Rei really say something so... ridiculous? Kevin wasn't sure, and because he wasn't sure, he didn't know how to react. He tried searching Rei's expression but there was not even an ounce of shame.
"You're... shitting me, right?" Kevin said slowly. Rei couldn't have said that with a straight face if he was telling the truth. He must have said that to throw Kevin off, how gullible did Rei think he was?
"No, I'm telling the truth."
Something dropped into Kevin's stomach. It was heavy like lead. His heart was hammering in his ears and his lungs forgot how to breathe. His mind: a blank.
'Disgusting.'
A/N: okay, so the next chapter will focus a lot on Kevin. It's actually an entire flashback! SO. If you waaant... you can skip it. But I recommend you reading it so that the last chapter makes more sense! How did an entire flashback get its own chapter? Well... it all started with two paragraphs that kept going and going and going... you get the picture! Anyways, that's next chapter. THIS chapter on the other hand... needs to be edited further. I'll get to that... eventually. Please review! any speculations or questions will be answered!