Note: this chapter and the previous two chapters were intended to be one big chapter... so if you haven't read this fic in awhile, I suggest you go back and start from there.
Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblades in anyway way. The lyrics do not belong to me either. They belong to their respective copyright holders.
Chapter 23: The Begining...
"Holy fuck..." Kevin uttered under his breath. He was petrified.
"Kevin?" Rei asked in concern. Kevin looked as white as a ghost, and his eyes were distant. Rei raised a hand to hold Kevin still since in his state, he looked like he wouldn't be standing for long. That may not have been a good idea...
"Don't you touch me!" Kevin hissed while shuffling away from Rei. "T-that's disgusting! You-You're- I mean- Weren't you there on that day? You're fucking sick, man! Fucking sick..."
Rei winced in pain. He was absolutely sure that a knife had plunged into his chest. How else can something hurt that much? "Kevin... Please... I mean... if you were anyone else, then I could take it... but you're you... so... please understand me, even if it's just a little bit." Amber eyes reflected only acceptance. This was how their village was brought up. This was... to be expected.
Kevin... didn't know what to do. He had the urge to throw Rei as far away as possible. Just knowing the fact that someone like Rei could be... could be gay... it made him tremble with fear. It was the fact that Kevin never noticed... even now, he couldn't tell... it scared him. It meant that anyone could be 'infected' as his dad would call it. But... at the same time... the way Rei seemed so resigned – so accepting – Kevin couldn't help but wonder...
Rei was always an exception to Kevin... He was safety... comfort... happiness. Rei could become everything if Kevin allowed it. And most of the time, Kevin found it hard to resist. This was also the reason why Kevin would do anything for Rei... Rei was everything to him. And because he was everything... well, that would explain why Kevin's world shattered tonight.
Everything was a lie.
"... You... you're supposed to be perfect..." Kevin uttered softly. He wanted to say more... to explain what perfect meant... how much he idolized Rei... but he couldn't. His enclosed throat and watery eyes wouldn't let him. It was hard enough not to let those tears spill over...
"Kevin..." Rei again tried to comfort the smaller boy.
"NO. You don't understand! Y-You're my Dai goh – my big brother. Y-you're supposed to be the same forever! You're not supposed to be –to be cowardly o-or sick." Kevin was visibly shaking now. "You traitor! You liar! You piece of trash! Don't you know that you meant- you meant... you meant..." Kevin's mind was swirling. He wanted to finish his sentence, but something stopped him. He couldn't say it – it was too much like Tian. There was too much associated with those words, and there was too much that Kevin didn't want to acknowledge.
'You mean everything to me.'
Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge
And I'm thinkin
Maybe six feet ain't so far down
And then there was softness.
Soft, hesitant, and comforting... Violet eyes snap wide open when foreign lips touch his own. His heart beat triples instantly – whether in disgust or joy, Kevin couldn't tell. What he did know was that it was definitely not gross. There were no tongues jamming down throats, nor was there saliva coating their faces. Rei simply held Kevin's lips with his own in a moment of soft, pure, overwhelming softness. To simply be safe with each other- no, to simply love each other... it made them feel happier than anything derived from need or passion. The feeling was so powerful for Kevin for it was everything that he secretly wanted: to be loved by Rei.
But it was so wrong.
Kevin was conflicted. He didn't know whether he should push Rei away or pull him closer. And so, in his emotionally drained state, Kevin gave up. He became a limp doll. His legs gave way, but he did not worry for some part of him knew that Rei would catch him and keep him from hurting himself... and sure enough, Rei did not disappoint.
"I'm sorry, Kev..." Rei whispered and rested his forehead against Kevin. Unseeing violet eyes stared past him... "Please understand."
Rei closed his eyes as two tears escaped from him. They fell upon Kevin's cheeks and rolled downward – as if they were Kevin's own tears.
"Goodbye."
And without a backward glance Rei was gone, leaving a trembling Kevin staring at the edge of the rooftop. The edge where Rei had jumped off of.
'Rei...'
I'm so far down
Sad eyes follow me
But I still believe there's something left for me
So please come stay with me
Cause I still believe there's something left for you and me
For you and me
For you and me
Rei ran far into the mountains. Daybreak was about an hour away, and he needed to cover as much ground as possible. His mind kept replaying the stolen kiss in his minds eye, causing his lips to remember the warm tingle that made him want to steal Kevin and take him along. He spared a glance behind allowing his imagination to run wild.
In his craziest fantasies, he wanted Kevin to follow him into the mountains... to stay by his side and have an adventure together. He didn't want the bond to break... in fact he could still "feel" Kevin beside him, encouraging him no matter what. Against all logic, Rei believed this ghost... even though he probably didn't deserve it.
'Hey Kevin?' Rei thought to the image in his mind's eye. The image gave him a questioning look.
'I dare you to catch me if you can.'
The image gave him a mischievous smile indicating that he accepted the challenge.
Meanwhile...
Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge
And I'm thinking
Kevin was still alone on the rooftop. He was the picture of loneliness with knees drawn up to his chest and his head buried to keep the world away. His heart was still racing even though much time had passed. He was meditating on something... with a shaky hand, he traced his still tingling lips.
'His lips were so warm...'
Kevin wondered "why". Simply "why". Why didn't he push Rei away? Why were his lips still tingling? Why... Why does something that made him feel so nice and warm have to be so wrong? Kevin furrowed his eyebrows as he demanded his brain for some answers.
Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge
And I'm thinking
Maybe six feet ain't so far down
Perhaps...
Perhaps this tingly feeling on his lip (though a very pleasant feeling) was in actuality... a bad thing? Maybe it's like poison. Some poisons can make one feel a tingling, burning sensation... so perhaps... perhaps being gay is like a poison? A sort of... poisonous sin. Kevin slowly raised his head with this revelation. His eyes growing wider.
Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge
And I'm thinking
Maybe six feet ain't so far down
It made sense... homosexuality is considered a sin. And sins generally lure you in by making you feel good. So... this tingly warm feeling on his lips... is actually the poison from sin. The unfocused look in Kevin's violet eyes hardened... slowly it began to resemble something like hate.
Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge
And I'm thinking
Maybe six feet ain't so far down
Rei tried to poison him. Infect him with this disease known as homosexuality. The bastard even tried to trick him by making it feel good! The tingling on Kevin's lips felt dirtier by the moment. The warmth that filled him only a moment earlier had turned cold as if liquid nitrogen replaced his blood. Kevin was tainted now. He would never be able to forget that stolen kiss... nor will he be able to forget the utter completeness of that moment. A moment with another boy. He was poisoned by his friend, his idol, his leader. It was then that Kevin realized, he was betrayed.
Rei the Betrayer. It had a nice ring to it.
The sun was dawning another day, and the last star of the night struggled to keep shining.
"Damn you, Rei." Kevin hissed at his imaginary ghost. Though Rei had ran off, his presence still lingered... haunting Kevin. "Why?"
The ghost's eyes shone with sadness, but gave a reassuring smile nonetheless. Even when he's gone, Rei was trying to comfort the smaller boy. Seeing this, Kevin found it hard o breathe... an empty void was growing in his chest.
"Tch, don't look at me like that, you bastard! You're a liar! You betrayer! You- you ASSHOLE!"
The ghost winced in pain and looked at him as if to ask for forgiveness and understanding. Kevin glared at the specter, but it did not waiver. The ghost would always follow Kevin, forever haunting him... reminding him of the friend that he once had...
"I looked up to you..." was the last thing Kevin whispered before turning his back on his ghost. The ghost gave a small frown before following Kevin. The ghost would follow him forever.
Rei finally made it out of the woods. He found himself standing on a dirt road. He realized that he was far away from his village by now, but he couldn't shake the feeling of eyes watching him – judging him. Faster. Father. That was what he needed to do right now. But which way? Should he go North or East? Just then he heard a rumbling coming from the northern way of the road. It was a rusty truck heading east. Perhaps... perhaps this way Rei's answer. He almost chuckled to himself while waving to the truck driver.
"Hey, kid. What's the matter?"
"Oh, well I'm heading east, so I was wondering if I can hitch a ride of you." Rei smooth-talked.
"Tch, I thought so. Hop onto the back, then. I'll give you a lift to the nearest city... Oh and don't mind the smell. I usually transport pigs in the back there." The good natured truck driver chuckled.
"Will do!" And with that, Rei hopped onto the back of the truck. He settled down comfortably with one leg drawn up and the other straight. He let his arm rest on his knee as he stared back towards the woods; towards his home. Up to this point, Rei had been forcing the enormity of what he's done to the far corners of his mind... but it seems that he couldn't hold them at bay for long.
Home will always be there at the White Tiger Village. It's where his mom lives, after all. Rei smiled as he remembers all the good times in the kitchen with his mother. It's also the place where all his friends live. Mariah with her motherly touch... Then there's Gary, who's always insightful in his own eccentric ways... And then there's Lee, his rival and best friend. And then... there's him. Rei couldn't help but let the smile fall into a frown.
He'll never forget him... never. Even though he may hate Rei with all his soul, Rei would refuse to forget him. Kevin was just... The smile slowly came back to Rei. Kevin was just Kevin. He was so fun... so cute... so perfect for Rei's adventurous personality. So what if they were similar? Whenever Rei was with Kevin, it felt like... like... harmony. So, yes, Rei will remember Kevin. And he will remember him fondly.
//Why do you continue to stare backwards, Rei?// Driger drawled lazily. Rei let out an indignant huff.
/And where have you been, you good-for-nothing excuse of a bit-beast?/ Rei teased back.
//Sleeping of course!// Rei rolled his eyes.
/Why am I not surprised?/
//... you still haven't answered my question.//
Rei stared at the shrinking trees.
/This may be the last time I'll ever see it./ Driger grumbled in annoyance at this answer.
//There's obviously a reason why we left it. Why waste your time looking back? Why not look forward instead?// This comment surprised Rei. He didn't expect Driger to say something that sounded so close to comforting.
/Heh, maybe... maybe you're right, Driger./ Rei turned his head to face the new dawn. The sight of a new day filled him with something that he couldn't explain. Perhaps it was the excitement of all the possibilities that came with a new day? Perhaps he could finally find some real competition in the future. Perhaps...
//Of course I'm right. I'm the White Tiger, Driger! The strongest bit-beast in the world!//
/Haha, are you?/ Rei teased. /So far, all I've heard is talk from you. I've never actually seen you do anything!/ Rei felt Driger bristle at the comment.
//Hmph! You ignorant human! You'll be in awe at my power! I'll show you it once we find some fresh meat!// Rei laughed good naturedly.
/Yeah, we'll become the world's strongest team in Beyblade history! Let's aim for the top!/ Driger gave a deep chuckle. The beginning of their journey was off to a great start. Who knows where the road will bring them. The sun was shining down on them with happy rays.
Rei couldn't help but turn to look back once more. The trees were tiny now. His confident smirk graced his face... it had been awhile since the last time he used it. His amber eyes were clear and full of confidence... and yet, it was also shining with a softer emotion.
"Hey, you… come catch me, sometime... I'll be waiting."
The truck suddenly turned around a bend and the woods where his village resided went out of sight. But not out of mind.
"I'll wait for you forever."
Please come now,
I think I'm falling
Holding on to all I think is safe...
Until You Catch Me...
My love.
The End.
A/N: I've realized the reason why I've been so reluctant to post this up: my own insecurities. This fic... actually... is like a window to a deeper part of my soul... it was written during a time in my life that was so happy and sad... and so, even if it's not perfect and seems kind of weird at times... Please read it with this in mind: my heart and soul are in your hands. It makes me feel... kind of vulnerable in a way, haha. Sorry, XChewy. You've been my number one supporter throug out the years, and I really appreciate all your kindness and thoughtfulness. I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you since last time - I was scared of finishing this fic. *nods* Your kind words meant more then you'd probably know.
I've made up my mind to post this without any heavy editing because I wanted to show everyone the rawness of the moment when I wrote this - mistakes and all. For this time, and this time only... I am not apologetic for my writing. Thank you everyone for reading this fic - I hope it made you feel many different things while reading this. It's been a memorable past few years, and some parts of me wish that it would never end... but unfortunately I need to close this chapter of my life and begin a new one - A new beginning.
From the bottom of my heat,
Thank you.