Chapter 176

These are the days in between

"I swear to god, I think I'm starting to show" Robin said, looking at her lunch partners across the table. "Nothing is really fitting the way it should."

Brenda cast a measured glance over her friend and shook her head. "I don't think so. I mean your boobs are bigger but your belly is still on the flat side."

Frowning, she looked at her friend and then to her belly and back. "You need glasses. I have a belly."

Chuckling softly, Alexis reached for her wine glass. "Don't rush it Robin. I know it seems all romantic to have the baby bump and it's sweet and all but the bump keeps growing and before you know it you can't see your feet or shave your legs."

"See" Brenda teased, "you'll need to make up with Patrick by then or you're going to have the hairiest legs in Port Charles."

"Or you can delay your return to Rome and stick around and be my personal leg shaver" she shot back with a smile.

Stifling a giggle, Brenda shook her head. "Not a chance."

"Besides," Alexis interjected, "she's going to need to make it up with Patrick before not being able to shave becomes an issue."

"The horny phase?" Brenda asked.

"Yup," Alexis grinned. "How far along are you Robin?"

"I'm almost five months." Her cheeks were tinged red at the turn in the conversation.

"Any day now" she said in a sing song voice. "I swear when I was pregnant with Molly I was this close" she pinched her fingers together, "to taking a month off and forcing Ric to take a month off so he could….meet my considerable needs."

The other two women screamed with laughter and for the first time Robin was really beginning to feel as though she was enjoying her pregnancy. She was also feeling more confident about where things were headed with Patrick. They had both restated – or in her case, finally stated to him – their desire to be together. They recognized there were obstacles in their path and she was under no illusions that it would be smooth sailing but finally, finally, she was willing to believe in their future together.

Her sessions with Lainey continued and while articulating her feelings was becoming easier, the intensity of them had not lessened and it was easy for her to be wiped out at the end of an hour. There were still days when little voices whispered in her ear that maybe it wasn't worth it, maybe nothing was worth all of this; but when that happened she would reach into her wallet and pull out the ultrasound photo and remind herself that it took a lot of love to make a baby and that she loved both of them – Patrick and their child – so very much.

In the week since the conversation at his apartment, Robin had taken to texting him good night. It was a silly, small gesture but she wanted to remind him that she was there and that she was thinking of him as she fell asleep. The first time she did it, she received one in kind and then the next morning woke up to a good morning text from him. Slowly but with infinite surety, they were each taking down the walls a brick at a time.

It was an odd position to be in – to be madly in love with a person – but seemingly lost in the swirling vortex of baggage but there was a way out and they simply needed to keep taking steps towards it. One of the benefits of the experience so far was that she knew, unequivocally, that she never again wanted to live with the fear that was keeping her from the life she wanted.

"I'm so sorry to interrupt."

The sound of Patrick's voice pulled her from her thoughts and she looked up at him in surprise. "Patrick."

With an apologetic smile forming on his face he jammed his hands into his pockets. "I…I didn't realize you were all having lunch together, I thought…I thought you were just picking up some take out – that's what Epiphany said. I'll….I'll catch up with you later."

As he turned to walk away, Robin jumped to her feet and grabbed his arm. "Patrick, wait."

Smiling, he shook his head. "I don't want to interrupt."

Looking at her friends, Robin said, "If you'll both excuse me for a moment, I'll be right back."

Taking Patrick's hand, she led him outside to the terrace. His words about not knowing how to share had resonated with her and if he had taken the time to track her down, then there was clearly something he wanted or needed to tell her and she was going to ensure that he did.

"I feel like an ass" he told her as they stood outside. "I really thought you were just picking up some takeout and I thought…I thought I…we…could have lunch together 'cause there's…I got some news."

She blinked several times and tried desperately to swallow down the lump forming in her throat.

"Wh-what kind of news?" She nervously twisted her fingers around each other.

"I got the results of my most recent HIV test this morning and I'm still negative. I…I wanted you to know that."

Riding a wave of sudden relief, she threw herself into his arms and hugged him tightly. "I am so glad" she told him throatily. "So very glad."

Patrick closed his eyes as he held on to her. His first thought after Alan had given him the results was to find her; he wanted to share the news with her. He had not doubted the results would be different but thinking something and knowing it definitively was another matter. And a part of him hoped that the news, the confirmation that she had not infected him, would go some ways in bridging the shrinking gulf between them.

He slowly let her go and shoved his hands back in his pockets. "I really didn't mean to interrupt lunch – it probably could have waited."

Robin shook her head. "No, it really couldn't have. It…it means a lot to me that you came to find me and tell me."

"I…uh….I'm going to assist my Dad in a surgery tomorrow."

Her eyes widened in surprise and she covered her mouth with her hand. The enormity of the achievement was not lost on her. So much of how he defined himself resided in his abilities as a surgeon. It had, by his own admission, been one way he coped with the loss and disappointment in his life, telling her at one point that even when everything else was falling to pieces he could count on the OR as a touchstone of order for him. She had understood how difficult it had been for him to have to stop operating as his condition deteriorated and then how monumentally frustrating it was for him to struggle to regain full control after his surgery.

"I am so proud of you" she beamed.

"I'm nervous" he admitted quietly, not quite meeting her eyes.

She stepped closer to him and caught his gaze. "Patrick, I have such faith in your talent as a surgeon. I know it's been a few months since you've been inside the OR but you're going to be great."

A grateful smile formed along his mouth and he gave a small shrug. "I hope. At least…at least it's my Dad and so I won't feel like I have to show off."

Suppressing a small laugh, Robin smiled. "As much. You won't feel you have to show off as much – a leopard can't change all of his spots."

He laughed in agreement. "You should get back inside – I really didn't mean to disrupt your lunch."

"Why don't you join us?" she asked quickly, biting her lip as she waited for an answer.

Opening his mouth to reply, he was about to decline. He was still being cautious about how much time they spent together, well aware that it would be easy to get swept up in the moment that their issues would get swept aside. More than anything he wanted to marry her and was willing to do whatever was needed to get to that point.

But finding he was not quite ready to leave, he replied, "Okay. I'd…I'd like that."

They walked back inside and were met with a hopeful smile by Brenda; Alexis, on the phone, had her head bowed and her eyes closed.

"So" Brenda began jokingly as they sat down, "were you guys talking baby names? Because I have to say that I think Brenda is a terrific name for a child."

Smirking, Patrick arched his eyebrow. "And what if we have a boy?"

"Well first of all, that won't happen but if by some fluke of nature it does, Brendan of course."

"Of course." He turned to Robin. "She's not actually going to have any real influence over our child, is she?"

She grinned. "Have no fear Patrick, we'll break you into Brenda slowly."

"Hmm" he frowned, "I'm not entirely convinced about that."

They all turned their attention to Alexis as she snapped her phone shut. Suddenly pale, her face was pinched and her hand trembled slightly as she took hold of her wine glass.

"Alexis?" Robin prodded, "is everything okay? Is it one of the kids?"

She shook her head before taking a deep breath to steady herself. "That was Child and Family Services. Josh has an aunt who has come forward and asked for custody."

Patrick blanched. "They aren't…they aren't just going to give it to her, are they?"

Setting her glass down, Alexis straightened her shoulders and slowly exhaled. "There's an emergency hearing in three days but barring some kind of past as sociopath, they most certainly will give her custody."

"Josh is going to be so upset" Brenda remarked quietly.

"He's going to be heartbroken," Alexis corrected, "and he isn't the only one."