Chapter 186

The sun shines on the black clouds

She stroked his hair as he slept, unable to keep herself from touching him. There was so much she had missed about him but strangely the weight of him in her bed was one of the things she had missed the most. He had stayed curled to her since he feel asleep, his good arm always in contact with her as though he needed to hold on to her. Through the night she watched as his bruises pushed to the surface in an array of colours showing the true extent of the damage and she was struck by how much that reflected Patrick's personality - it wasn't easy for him to admit his feelings and sometimes wouldn't until he could hide them no longer. And yet despite all of that she knew that he loved her - in all honesty, she realized that she knew she loved him long before he ever yelled it at her in her apartment. There had been too many opportunities to walk away that he never took.

As his newly defined chest rose and fell in steady rhythm she thought back to the first time they had made love. They had danced around each other for months and she had kept him just out of reach. There had been a few dinners - mostly disastrous - and plenty of inappropriate banter at work but she had been determined not to get involved. He was exactly who she didn't need in her life; except she knew even then she was lying to herself. He stirred something in her that she had not felt since - well ever, really. Their first few attempts to be together had been interrupted and she was beginning to believe it was never going to happen. In the end it was Mother Nature who had forced them into the cabin. They had been tentative with each other at first. She had thought with all the pent up sexual frustration they had generated that it would have been a release of unbridled passion but it had been loving and tender and Robin had been surprised at how concerned he had been with her pleasure. There had been a moment, fleeting and temporary, where something had shifted. Neither had been willing to admit it for quite some time but she knew now that they had both tapped into something unexpected with each other.

She had always hated the notion of being completed by another person; both her mother and her uncle had raised her to believe that she was complete on her own but there was something about loving Patrick and being loved by him that at least finished the circle. She knew she was a total person on her own but with Patrick she was more. It was as her mother had told her - give her heart but hold on to her soul. Patrick had her heart and despite all the bumps and detours along the way every choice he had made, rightly or wrongly, had been to protect it. It amazed her that she had not been able to see that before.

When Alexis had received the phone call about the car accident, Robin had felt her heart drop. Even with Patrick making the phone call and therefore proving he was okay, she had thought the world was closing in on her. Having come through his tumour, his heart stopping and two surgeries she had foolishly thought they had time to get where they needed to be. The phone call reminded her that time was never to be taken for granted.

Leaning in, she softly kissed his forehead. Patrick stirred and his eyes fluttered open. It took him several beats to focus and Robin watched carefully as he fought through the fog the demerol had produced.

"How long have I been out?" he asked, sweeping his hand over her stomach.

"About 14 hours" she told him.

Patrick's attempt to sit up quickly was met with shooting pain in his shoulder and pounding in his head. Grimacing, he flopped back against the pillows. "Did the hospital call?" His voice was still hoarse.

Robin rubbed her hand over his good shoulder and dropped a kiss on it. "I spoke to Alexis a couple of hours ago and Eric was still unconscious but holding his own. The surgeon spoke to her again and said he was pleased with where things are at."

He closed his eyes and slowly exhaled. "I want to go back to the hospital" he told her.

She smiled, having fully expected him to say so. "Okay" she nodded. "We can go. I ordered some room service - yougurt and toast - and once you eat something I'll help you get dressed and we can head over."

He smiled slyly. "You like bossing me around."

Robin smirked. "You bet your cute ass I do."

Slipping a hand around her waist, he rolled back on to his side and pressed a kiss to her belly. "Did you and our baby sleep at all?" he asked, looking up at her.

She threaded her hand through his hair again. "We did. And our baby told me that you are forbidden from getting into any more car accidents ever again. But baby is very happy that you saved Uncle Eric."

A small smile broke across his face as he heard Robin refer to his best friend as 'uncle'. Carefully pulling himself to a sitting position, he stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers as though he were slowly reacquainting himself with her. "I'd really Eric to be our baby's godfather."

"I thought you might" she smiled. "And I think that's a great choice."

"Thank you" he whispered.

She brushed her lips against his. "Let's get some food into you so we can get moving, okay?"

He gave a slight shake of his head and dipped back towards her stomach. "I swear baby, your momma wears army boots."

Robin screamed with laughter and for the first time in a long time, Patrick laughed freely. He cupped the back of her head and drew her to him again, kissing her slowly. "But you look damn sexy in them" he said against her mouth.

******
Alexis wiped the sleep from her eyes and pulled herself up in the chair. She still had Eric's hand cradled inside hers; every once in a while his fingers would twitch against hers and she would shoot out of the chair, hoping he was waking up. But his eyes hadn't opened yet and aside from the occasional groan he had not shown any signs of doing so.

Her heart had taken up permanent residence in her throat. She had finally opened herself up to be loved - and to love - only to have it dangle precariously over the edge. Eric had been a most unexpected turn in her life. Slowly but surely he had made it impossible for her not to fall in love with him - he was steady and strong and present. They had not been connecting in recent weeks and she knew he was struggling to keep his head above water but despite her earlier proclamations to Robin she was not yet ready to walk away.

"I love you" she told him quietly as she kissed his hand. "And I don't want to rush you or anything but you know how neurotic I can be so if you could just see your way to waking up soon I'd really appreciate that."

"He's still being stubborn, huh?"

Alexis looked up from the bed and smiled tiredly as Robin and Patrick came through the door. She gratefully accepted the steaming latte Robin pressed in to her hands. "I remember when Patrick was in here how bad the coffee sucked" she offered as an explanation. "So Starbucks it is!"

"You're too good to me." She looked over at Patrick. "And you look like you're doing well," she remarked. It did not escape her notice how he reached for Robin's hand after she had divested herself of the coffee.

Patrick nodded. "I'm feeling okay" he told her. Walking to the foot of the bed, he pulled the chart from the hook and flipped through it. "I'll feel better when he opens his eyes."

"Me too" she replied, looking back at the bed. "You hear that Eric? You have an audience so waking up would be the polite thing to do." She gently placed his hand back on the bed and sank deeply into her chair taking a long, appreciative drink from the coffee. "Why....why were you guys driving here to New York anyways?" she asked.

Robin noticed Patrick's hand tremble slightly and gave him a curious look. She had not got around to asking him the same question, assuming he would tell her at some point. But now hearing the question she was wondering what exactly it was that had brought the two doctors - by car - into the City.

Inhaling sharply he looked over at his friend and shook his head. "A....uh....a friend asked for his help and so he was coming to help and well I was....I was coming to help Eric."

Alexis studied him carefully, noticing him shift uncomfortably and dropping his gaze. The lightbulb burned brightly as it went off over her head. "Karen?"

He looked at her in shock. "Yeah" he replied tentatively.

"What did she need help with?" Her heart, still lodged in her throat, was now threatening to suffocate her.

"She was moving into Eric's old apartment," he replied quietly.

"I don't understand," Robin said. "I thought....I thought he didn't really have much to do with her."

"He doesn't but...." Patrick felt like he had to choose his words carefully lest he blow up his friend's relationship. "She said she was in trouble."

Alexis tucked her legs up underneath her and exhaled slowly. "Karen was pregnant before Eric was sick and unfortunately miscarried," she said quietly. "That kind of loss will bind anyone regardless of what else happens."

His legs feeling rubbery, Patrick sank into a chair. "You....you knew?"

She nodded. "He told me a while ago."

Robin looked to Patrick. "But you didn't?"

He shook his head. "He just told me yesterday."

"Patrick," Alexis began, "I....I don't even know where to begin. You saved his life-"

Holding up his good hand, he interrupted her. "It wasn't an option Alexis - he's my best friend and I wasn't going to let anything happen to him." He rubbed his aching shoulder.

Robin was struck again at how tightly Patrick held on to the people he loved. Prior to him telling her there was only four people in his life he cared about she had not thought the number of people she loved in quantitative terms - if people were in her life they were there because she loved them and they mattered to her but there was something about his admission that felt small; it reminded her of the two boxes he had moved into her apartment - it was all he owned.

"Are you okay Alexis?" she asked as she pulled up a chair next to Patrick's and gently rubbed her hand along his thigh.

She nodded. "I am." Seeing the look on Robin's face, she amended her answer. "Oh - you mean about Karen?"

"It can't be easy"

"Actually I'm not bothered," she admitted. "He promised me that...." she paused, remembering their conversation on the porch. "If Sonny or even Ric were in trouble and asked me for help, I would. I'm not bothered"

Further discussion came to a crashing halt as Eric's moans grew louder and became more persistent. He clawed at the mask on his face as his eyes struggled to open. "Pantsy" he rasped almost inaudibly, not yet awake.

She scrambled to her feet and gently rubbed her chest. "Eric, wake up," she encouraged. He touched his face wincing as he made contact with the surgical wound. "Babe, open your eyes," she repeated.

Struggling his eyes opened briefly. "Get her away from me" he whispered before they slammed shut again.

Alexis stumbled backwards and fell into the chair. "Okay, now I'm bothered" she said to no one in particular.