Chapter 188

Every fading hope will find its way

The sun was shining brightly as they finally exited the hospital and strolled, hand in hand, along the busy sidewalks. New York was a city that was perpetually in motion and Patrick found it slightly unnerving at first as everyone seemed to be moving at twice the speed he was.

They had sat on the couch in the atrium for almost an hour before Patrick suddenly got to his feet and said he wanted to go for a walk. He found the hospital suffocating; he could never get used to being there and not working as a doctor. There were things he never noticed when he was working that seemed almost overwhelming as a patient or a visitor – the antiseptic smell, the incessant chatter by staff about everything and anything, the sudden feelings of invisibility when he was normally sought after. They had checked in on Eric and Alexis before heading outside.

They walked for several blocks before finding a bench and taking a break. He was surprised at how much his stamina had been affected in such a short period of time. As he stared at the people rushing by, cell phones glued to their ears and oblivious to everything around them, his mind drifted back to the hockey game he and Robin had attended – one of the items on his list that had been crossed off.

Noticing the smile ghosting across his lips, Robin ran her hand over his head. "What are you thinking about?" she asked quietly.

"The Rangers game I took you to" he said, looking at her from the corner of his eye. "That was a fun night."

His tone was explicit and Robin felt her cheeks burn brightly at the memory. "It sure was. You scored, if I remember correctly."

He grinned and stole a quick kiss from her. "I believe we both did."

"Well hockey season is only a few months away" she said, "I think we should make some plans to come back for a Rangers game."

He nodded. "It's never too early to get our child cheering for the right team," he teased lightly.

"Relentless," she muttered under her breath before becoming more serious. "Can I…can I ask you something?"

Tilting his head to the side, he looked at her quizzically. "Of course."

"Were you…I mean I know we aren't, weren't….." The words seemed suddenly too big to get out so she closed her eyes and took a deep, steadying breath. "You were going to call me and tell me what happened, right? You were going to tell me about the accident?"

It occurred to her that she had no idea if he would have called her had she not shown up. Things had been so strange between them for several weeks and beyond their admissions of love for each other it was almost impossible to determine anything else. And while they were now truly on their way back to where they were meant to be, she knew they weren't there yet. There was still ground to cover and she worried that along the way he had built up some resentment towards her; not that she blamed him but she didn't want anything to be left to fester.

The smallest gasp escaped from the back of his throat and he drew her closer to him. "Yes" he told her. "I really was. I…but I couldn't call you until everything else was settled."

"Why not?" she asked curiously.

"Because the minute I heard your voice I knew that I would have just wanted to stop; I would have wanted to get lost in you somehow and I couldn't – not until Eric was out of surgery and Alexis knew what was going on. I couldn't call you until I was sure it was okay for me to stop."

"Oh Patrick" she sighed quietly, brushing her lips over his.

"It was….when I heard your voice and then looked up and saw you there" he blew out his cheeks. "I thought I was imagining you."

"Did you think I wouldn't come if you called?"

"Truthfully?"

"There is no other option between us."

He nodded. "I wasn't sure. I didn't know where we were."

Cradling his hand in both of hers, she pressed it against her chest. However difficult it was to hear that admission, she was grateful for the honesty. "I have no intention of ever letting you go," she told him. "But let me just say for the record, there is absolutely no circumstance under which I wouldn't show up for you – no matter whatever happens between us."

He kissed her softly, his tongue sweeping inside her mouth. Robin tried to climb into his lap, her progress impeded by her belly but Patrick's arm wound around her waist and tugged her as closely to him as she could be. The kiss was a mixture of need, love and reassurance on both parts.

While the midday crowd continued to pass by in a flurry, time stood still for both of them. The kiss seemed to go on for minutes and when breathlessness finally drove them apart, they stayed glued to each other, their mouths hovering in proximity.

"I love you" she whispered into his mouth.

"Me too" he replied, his gaze locked firmly on hers.

"Do you want to go back to the hotel and rest?" she asked carefully.

He shook his head. "I'd like to go back and sit with him. How about you? Do you need to rest?"

Robin rubbed her belly and smiled as she shook her head. "No – we're fine and we want to be where you are."

He nodded, getting to his feet. "Okay."

*****
They quietly pushed open the door to Eric's room and stopped as they saw Alexis dozing, her head on his bed. Hearing the creak of the door her eyes flew open and her head shot up.

"Hey" she greeted them softly.

"How are you?" Patrick asked as he settled into the chair on the opposite side of the bed. Extending his hand to Robin, he pulled her to his lap.

"I'm too heavy" she protested.

He shook his head in disagreement. "You're perfect" he told her as he slid an arm around her waist.

Curling against him, Robin looked over the bed at her friend whose face bore the worry and strain of the last 48 hours. "Alexis-"

Knowing where her friend was headed, she gave a small shake of her head. "Not until he wakes up," she said.

"He used to dress up as the Easter Bunny" Patrick said suddenly.

"What?"

"The Easter Bunny. The volunteers have costumes for holidays and when we were interns, he used to dress up as the Easter Bunny and go up to the peds floor and drop off treats to the kids. This giant 6'5 guy in a yellow bunny costume – the kids would scream with laughter when they saw him"

Chuckling, Alexis stroked Eric's hand. "You are such a geek" she told him softly.

"I also have photos of him as the Tooth Fairy" Patrick added.

Robin looked at him in shock. "Seriously?"

"A pink fairy costume. It was a little disturbing how it fit him. But once the nurses discovered he had no fear of dressing up and being foolish, they would come to him for everything and Eric being Eric, he couldn't turn them down."

"Aww babe," Alexis teased, curling her fingers through his. "Wait until I tell the girls. They will want to play Princess Tea Party with you every day. I'll have to see if we can find you a tiara."

"I'll be wanting photos for my collection" Patrick added. As Robin leaned back against him, he nuzzled her neck soothed once again by her warm scent. "I've always envied him a little bit" he admitted.

"Because he's smarter than you?" Robin asked teasingly.

"Hey!" he protested, nibbling her ear. "I beat him in every test but one. No, I envied him because he was always so seemingly unflappable. My temper was…is…much closer to the surface but it was worse when we were here. I would get told off or pushed aside and I would rage for hours. The same thing would happen to him and he would just seem to accept it, let it roll off his back and move on."

"You keep saying seem" Alexis noted.

"Yeah" he grinned, "because everyone would think he was fine with something but meanwhile he was really seething inside. I remember one day, our whole group got reamed out by our attending but Eric was singled out for being particularly useless that day. He stood there, almost a foot taller than our attending and took it – every awful word. He didn't talk about it for the rest of his shift and then went home. He was in the kitchen and dropped his fork on the floor. No big deal, right? Well it seemed to set him off and he picked up his dinner plate and smashed it on the floor – all that was missing was an 'opa!' from him."

"What did you do?" Robin queried.

"I did the only thing a supportive and caring friend could do," he replied "I went into the kitchen, took down all our dinner plates, passed him half a stack and we started smashing them all into the floor."

Both women laughed heartily at the image of the two young doctors, breaking plates in a vain effort to relieve frustration.

"We ended up eating from bowls and side plates for three months" he added, chuckling.

The conversation came to a halt as he started to groan and move about in the bed. Alexis was by his side, comfortingly running her hand across his chest. "Eric, you're okay" she reassured him.

His eyes fluttered several times before he finally managed to pry them open. He stared at her for several long, torturous moments and Alexis braced herself for a repeat of his confusion, silently reminding herself that it wasn't an indication of bad things to come.

His tongue darted from his mouth vainly trying to moisten his dry lips. He continued to stare at her, his vision slightly impeded by the swelling in his face. Inhaling slowly, he opened his mouth.

"Lexie" he sighed.

Tears sprang to her eyes and she nodded. "Hi there"

"Wh-where's Pantsy?" he asked, his blue eyes widening in fear. "Is he okay?"

"I'm right here" he said. Robin slid from his lap and Patrick moved to his bed side.

Eric slowly turned his head, wincing as he did so. He looked his friend up and down and smiled weakly. "You look like shit."

Patrick gave a small grateful laugh. "Yeah well, still prettier than you. I think those bruises are an improvement to your ugly mug."

His attempt to smile was met with pain. "Did you….did you call Robin?"

She stepped forward and gently touched his leg. "You know the two of you can't be alone unsupervised," she teased lightly.

"Hey" he greeted her weakly before turning his attention back to Alexis. He reached for her hand and let go a shaky breath. "I'm….I'm sorry."

Bending down she kissed him again. "I'm just glad you're awake"

Patrick turned to Robin and pulled her to his body. Her arms went around his waist and she hugged him tightly. It seemed that whatever detour they had all taken might finally be over and they were ready to get back on the road.