Chapter 2: A Really Bad Night Followed by an Even Worse Day
Life returned to normal after that. The next day Phineas and Ferb
built something incredible, Candace tried to bust them for it, and failed.
The cycle started again, and Candace forgot about the dream she had and why
she'd been so upset. Nothing unusual happened until July twenty-fifth. It
was hot that day. Phineas and Ferb built a log flume in the backyard to cool
off. Unfourtunately, they had been too hot to sleep that morning so they'd
gotten up at three AM to do it. They didn't realize that it was hot because
of their creation the day before which had used the house's vents. They had
closed all the vents except the one to Candace's room to do what they needed
to. They forgot to open the vents back up when they were done, which meant
all the air conditioning in the house went to her room, and to top it off, Dad
had also turned the temperature down as far as the thermostat would go to try
and defeat the oppressive heat. Needless to say, he was unsuccessful, except
for Candace's room.
When Candace went to her room to go to bed, she was cold. Very cold.
She put on her long pajamas and wrapped herself up in as many blankets as she
could find and managed to doze off, though she was still shivering. Well, at
three AM, she started to hear hammering and construction noises in her dreams.
The noise combined with the bitter cold gave her frantic and confusing
nightmares. Have you ever had a dream that was so exhausting that when you
woke up you were actually drained instead of rested? That's what Candace was
getting. Unfortunately, she didn't wake up.
As luck would have it, in the middle of the night, Mom, driven by the
noise and the crushing heat, began sleep walking. In her dream she was
walking to the thermostat to turn it down. In reality, she walked to the
thermostat and turned it UP. All the way up. Then she staggered back to bed.
It didn't affect most of the house, only Candace's room. Candace
was still wrapped in all those blankets. The temperature in her room quickly
rose to dangerous levels, and the hammering was still audible. Candace's
dreams got worse and worse, until finally she snapped awake.
It was still dark. The first thing that Candace noticed was how hot
she was. She was literally dripping with sweat. She quickly struggled out of
the blankets, gasping for air. She felt like she was suffocating. She felt
like she was about to throw up. The whole room seemed like it was on fire.
Candace stumbled to the door and ran into it. She shook herself then opened
the door and staggered out.
"Mom..." she garbled, "Mommm... Mooomm!" the room was spinning.
Candace thought she was gonna be sick. "MOM!" she screamed desperately. It
was no use. Candace ran for the bathroom and tripped. She fell on her face
and blew chunks all over the rug. She lifted herself out of the vomit and
stumbled to the bathroom groaning in agony. The poor sleep and heat
exhaustion had taken quite a toll on her body. When she got to the bathroom,
she got in the shower with all her clothes on and turned on the cold water.
The shower sprayed her with an icy stream, finally giving her some relief. Her
head cleared a little and she cooled off a bit. She turned the shower off and
got out. She heard a distant hammering sound and began bumbling toward it.
In her lousy condition Candace didn't think to dry off and forgot about the
mess she'd left on the floor. She left a trail of soaked carpet and tile from
the bathroom all the way to the backyard.
She finally opened to the sliding glass door and discovered Phineas
and Ferb and their log flume.
"Phineas... Ferb... wha?" was all she could get out.
They didn't notice her. They were focused on their log flume.
"Ohh...it's nice out here," Candace groaned. Then she collapsed.
"AAAAAHHHHHH!"
That was the first thing Candace heard.
"Phineas! Ferb! What are you doing? You could get yourselves killed
on that thing! Get down, come inside! You two are grounded until further
notice! Get in here!"
Candace moaned and sat up, opening her eyes as she did. A massive
log flume, complete with a one hundred story drop, scuba pool and corkscrews
stood in the yard. Candace suddenly realized she was outside and jumped to
her feet. She looked around, wild-eyed.
"Huh? How did I get out here?"
As her eyes focused, she saw Phineas and Ferb walking across the lawn
toward her. As they went by, Ferb gave her a dirty look and said, "Thanks for
ruining our Summer."
"Huh?" Candace blubbed.
Phineas stopped and looked her in the eyes. He gave Candace the
coldest look she'd ever seen him give anyone. "I thought you were a cool big
sister," he began, then he looked at the ground, "I guess you're not. Thanks
for letting me down, Candace."
"Leave your sister alone, Phineas, go to your room!"
Candace started and spun around. Mom was standing right behind her.
"Mom, what the-?" Candace yelped.
"Candace, I am so sorry. You were right, Phineas and Ferb have been
up to crazy and dangerous stuff all Summer. I should have believed you. Can
you ever forgive me?"
"What? Mom, what is going on?" Candace asked frantically, "How did I
get out here? Why am I all wet?"
"I don't know, why are you all wet?"
"I-I-I-don't-remember," Candace blurted.
Mom gasped, "Oh, Honey, were you sleepwalking? Oh my gosh, Phineas
and Ferb must have you so stressed out. Are you the one that threw up on the
carpet?" Mom pulled her into a hug, "Oh my little girl, I'm so sorry for
everything. Hush, it's all over now. You don't have to worry about Phineas
and Ferb anymore. They're gonna be grounded for the rest of the Summer."
"You're grounding Phineas and Ferb? Why?"
"For all the dangerous things they've been doing."
"But, you don't know about all that, everything always disappears-"
"Turn around, Candace."
Candace broke out of her mom's embrace and did an about face. She got
a good look at the log flume and finally put two and two together.
"Wait a minute... you caught them, didn't you!" Candace exclaimed.
"Mm hmm," Mom replied.
Candace stood, awestruck, unable to comprehend what had just happened.
The implications slowly came to her. She'd won! Not intentionally, but she'd
won! That meant she didn't have to worry about busting Phineas and Ferb
anymore. She could finally get on with her normal life...
But busting Phineas and Ferb WAS her normal life. Suddenly, the
questions that had haunted her a few weeks earlier began pouring back into her
mind. She would have freaked out, if another thought, mercifully, hadn't come
to her first.
"Hey, I never got to bust them!" Candace shouted angrily. If anyone
had caught Phineas and Ferb, it should have been her. After months of Candace
calling Mom and having her come home only to find that Phineas and Ferb's
inventions had disappeared, Mom had simply walked in on them by herself and
caught them without Candace's help.
Mom chuckled, "Yeah, I thought that was pretty ironic, actually.
Thanks for trying so hard Candace. From now on, I trust you." With that, Mom
gave Candace a kiss and went back inside.
Candace stood there. She had no purpose now. No reason to exist.
She didn't know what to do next.
She decided to take a walk. She went through the gate and started
walking down the road. She was so shocked that she didn't notice that she was
still in her (foul-smelling) pajamas and that she was bare foot. She marched
straight down the road, staring dazedly into space for miles.
Perry was flying over the city on a glider, heading for
Doofenshmirtz's hideout. Doofenshmirtz had sent a message to him, telling him
that he had a surprise for him. Perry figured it probably wasn't anything
good, but he needed to check it out anyway.
He smashed through Doofenshmirtz's ceiling and landed, rolling to
break his fall. He stood up and looked around. It was dark. Perry waddled
around the room, looking for his archenemy. He didn't find him.
This was strange... no trap, no mad scientist, no -inator guns...
something was wrong. Perry was about to give up and leave when he came across
a note on a table. No voice recording, nothing weird, just a note.
He picked it up and read it. It said:
Perry the Platypus,
I'll have your surprise soon. Just sit down and make yourself
comfortable.
Signed,
Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz
Perry scratched his head, shrugged, then went and found himself a
seat. He sat there for nearly an hour, wondering what his surprise would be.
Phineas and Ferb sat on their beds, in their rooms, with the door
shut, on a perfect Summer day. Their Summer was over. Candace had ruined it
by telling Mom and finally busting them, or at least, that's what they thought
had happened.
Ferb was mad, but Phineas was devastated. Losing his Summer was bad
enough, but the fact that Candace had been the one that ended it killed him.
Candace was his big sister. He loved her. He looked up to her. He would've
done anything for her. She'd always been a friend he could count on (whether
his view of her had a base in reality was irrelevant, that's what he thought
of her), until today. Now he saw his formerly beloved sister for what she
really was-a selfish, boring, uncaring and unloving jerk. He didn't know why
he hadn't seen it coming. She was calling Mom, trying to bust them all
Summer. Why hadn't he realized what Mom would do if she ever saw them? Or
that that had been exactly what Candace wanted? Phineas sighed. He never
thought he'd be looking forward to school starting. Only about a month
left...
Turned out that he would be out of the house much sooner than that. A
tremor rumbled through the ground.
"What was that?" Phineas asked.
"I have come to kidnap the Flynn family!" a strangely cheery, robotic
voice said.
Phineas and Ferb looked around, confused. They didn't see anyone.
SMASH! A huge robotic fist swept through the wall and partially
ripped the roof off the house. Phineas and Ferb leapt to their feet and ran
for the door as dust and splinters and glass and all sorts of debris blasted
through the room. The robotic fist unclenched and swept down at Phineas and
Ferb. Just before they could open the door, it snatched them up and squeezed
them in it.
"AHHH!" Phineas and Ferb cried together, "Mom, Dad, HELP!"
Mom burst through the door first, followed by their father.
"Phineas! Ferb! What-oh my stars!" Mom exclaimed.
The dust cleared to reveal a giant robot that looked like a dorky man
in a business suit.
"My name is Norm!" it informed them happily, "I have come to eat your
children!"
"Put my sons down!" Dad yelled angrily.
Norm's mouth plate lowered and he stuck the screaming Phineas and Ferb
down his gullet.
"Yum! That was tasty!" Norm said cheerily.
"Phineas! Ferb! SPIT THEM OUT! SPIT THEM OUT!" Mom screamed
frantically. She charged at the robot, intending to do what, it didn't matter
because Norm just reached down, scooped her up and ate her too.
Dad finally got the good sense to run, but it was too late. The
robot reached out, grabbed him and ate him as well.
"What a delightful snack!" Norm said, "There is supposed to be one
more! Where is Candace Flynn?"
Phineas, Ferb, Mom and Dad had been eaten, but they weren't being
digested. When Norm had snarfed them down, they'd simply fallen into a metal
holding cell, the robot's "stomach".
"CANDACE, RUN!" Mom screeched. Nobody knew that she'd left earlier.
Candace had picked a very good day to take a walk.
Norm proceed to smash the entire house to bits, looking for his last
victim. He kicked the walls in and tore the rest of the roof off and dug into
the basement and completely destroyed the Flynn's home, but he could not find
Candace.
"I guess she's not here!" Norm said, "Oh well, these four hostages are
more than enough!" Norm turned and began walking down the street, back for
his master's lair.
Down in the monster's stomach, the Flynn-Fletchers (minus Candace)
were all trying to figure out what on earth was going on.
"Phineas, Ferb, this robot isn't something you made, is it?" Mom
asked incredulously.
"No, but we saw it once. It took a CD Candace was trying to use to
bust us," Phineas said glumly.
"We chased it to the bridge, and it fell off into the river," Ferb
added.
"Where's it taking us?" Dad wondered.
"He said something about hostages," Mom observed.
"Maybe he's going to use us to blackmail somebody into doing
something for him," Phineas guessed.
"I guess," Dad replied, "I wonder what happened to Candace?"
"I couldn't care less," Phineas said flatly.
Perry looked at his watch. Doofenshmirtz was taking forever.
Suddenly (and finally), he saw something come up a big elevator in the
room. When the doors opened, Norm, Doofenshmirtz's giant robot strode out.
"Perry the Platypus-" Norm began. Then his head popped up to reveal
the pilot, Dr. Doofenshmirtz.
"-how nice of you to wait!" Doofenshmirtz finished, "Are you ready for
my surprise, Perry the Platypus?"
Perry stared at Doofenshmirtz boredly.
"Give him his surprise, Norm!" Doofenshmirtz ordered. Perry tensed,
expecting an attack. What he got instead surprised him much more than he had
planned on being. In fact, it shocked him pretty bad. In fact, forget
surprised and shocked. This was WAY beyond surprise and shock.
Try pure horror instead.
Norm put his head back, then walked over to a large glass box with
some kind of massive metal screen that covered the entire floor. Norm
put his mouth plate to a hole in the box's wall. It lowered again and started
upchucking it's cargo.
First Mom came, then Ferb, then Dad, and finally Phineas.
Perry's bill dropped. His eyes bugged wide open. His arms and tail
dropped slack. No! How had he-?
"Behold! Your family! In the disintegratinator box!" Doofenshmirtz
let out a mad cackle as he pulled out a controller with a big red button, "At
the touch of a button, I can disintegratinate all of them!"
Perry leapt at Doofenshmirtz, trying to yank the controller away.
Doofenshmirtz sidestepped him and put his finger on the button. "I wouldn't
try that again, Perry the Platypus, unless you want them all
disintegratinated!
Perry stood up. He didn't know what to do. One wrong move and his
family was toast.
"You see, Perry the Platypus, your owner told me his name when he was
here, and I finally tracked it to your house! I have the upper hand now. I
command you to join me as my obedient slave! If you don't, well... heh heh
heh heh..." Doofenshmirtz cackled, waving the controller.
Perry glared hatefully at Doofenshmirtz for a while. He'd gone too
far. This was out of order. Finally, Perry sighed and looked at the floor.
Doofenshmirtz had won.
Candace had picked a VERY good day to take a walk. She wandered
aimlessly through the streets, staring into space. Candace was dead. There
was no one to bust, and consequently there was no longer a Candace. Candace
eventually wound up at a park. She went and sat under a tree and stared
blankly for a long time.
"So... Candace..." she asked herself, "what are you going to do
today?"
She was silent for a while. She really didn't know. She could call
Stacy and go to the mall or something... except she hadn't brought her cell
phone... and Stacy (she was Candace's best friend) was in Japan. Candace
growled in frustration.
Maybe it wasn't all that bad... yes, she couldn't bust Phineas and
Ferb anymore, but she could still go to the mall with Stacy... sometimes, not
every day though... when she got back... and she could hang out with Jeremy
too... sometimes, not all the time though. Basically, Candace now had a whole
lot of free time on her hands.
And she had no idea what to do with it.
"Wow... my dream finally came true... and you know what? I really
hate it," Candace griped to herself.
"Busting those two was what I lived for. They were always out having
fun building all their wild creations. MY fun was trying to bust them. Now
their Summer's ruined, and so is mine. Now I have nothing to do. I AM
nothing now. I might as well change my name, 'cause Candace is gone. Kaput.
Dead. Finished. Whatever," she said.
Candace sighed. "I think Phineas and Ferb hate me now, too. Not that
it matters..." she wasn't sure she believed that, "ugh... I do feel kind of
bad. I didn't actually bust them, but they're just as miserable as I am right
now. What'll happen to them? Will they just never do anything crazy again
as long as they live? I'll kind of miss seeing delivery trucks rolling into
the driveway and hearing jackhammers and watching them playing and being
stupid and..." Candace stopped. She didn't want to go on. Bottom line, all
of Phineas and Ferb's dreams, along with a glorious vision to seize every day
and have fun had been crushed. It was like a bright and beautiful light had
gone out. The world would never be the same without Phineas and Ferb and
their wild imaginations.
Candace just lay there with her eyes closed, silently mourning her's,
Phineas and Ferb's losses. After a while she started talking to herself
again.
"If only I could reverse what happened... if only I could somehow
still try to bust them... if only there was some way for me to continue their
dream so..."
Candace's eyes popped open. She sat up. "That's it!" she exclaimed,
"I know what I'm gonna do today!"
Back at Doofenshmirtz's lair, Perry was doing all kinds of random
stuff for Doofenshmirtz. He was serving him lemonade, helping him build
another -inator he was making, eating gum from under the desks (that was
gross) and other assorted tasks. Perry was mad. He wished he could just kick
the "vaporize" button out of his enemy's hands and save his family. He would
have tried it, but he knew that if he missed they were done for.
"Perry the Platypus, would you kindly hand me that wrench, I need to
screw in this bolt... actually, I'll just have you screw it in while I sit
here and sip lemonade!" Doofenshmirtz cackled from his easy chair, "AHAHAAHA!
I love being evil! Tell me Perry the Platypus, how does it feel to be my
personal slave? How do you like losing? Guess what? This is how I felt
every time you beat me! Now the shoe's on the other foot! AHAHA!"
Perry growled. Doofenshmirtz had to go to sleep sometime, and when he
did...
Meanwhile the bored and confused Flynn family sat in the
disintegratinization chamber, wondering what the trash was going on.
"That pharmacist looks just like that one from the Perry level in that
video game we played when we were sick!" Phineas observed.
"He's Vanessa's dad," Ferb remarked. Vanessa was Doofenshmirtz's
teenage daughter. Ferb had met her earlier that Summer.
"It seems like I've seen him somewhere else too," Phineas said.
"It seems like he's somehow related to that toilet paper roll in the
backyard all those weeks ago," Ferb said.
"Hmm... maybe that morning me and Perry came here and fought him while
you and Isabella watched using a giant, super-powerful sensor, and I turned
him into toilet paper to save Perry! Then Perry used a memory wipe on us so
we wouldn't remember anything!" Phineas said.
He and Ferb looked at each other.
"Nah," Phineas said.
"I wonder how Perry knows this man?" Dad wondered.
"I wonder if there's a way out of here," Mom replied.
They looked around. Nothing seemed apparent.
"Maybe Candace will come and save us," Dad said hopefully.
The other three looked at him like he was an idiot.
"Not likely, honey," Mom said flatly.
"Candace doesn't have the guts," Phineas griped bitterly.
"Or the skills, for that matter," Ferb added.
"Well... maybe the police will find us then," Dad tried.
Everyone agreed that that was much more likely.
Well... they were wrong. Except Dad. The first thing he said, I
mean. Candace ran back in what she figured was the general direction of the
house. It didn't take long for her to notice a black plume of smoke rising
from the neighborhood.
"Is there a fire?" Candace exclaimed, "I've got to get home and call
the fire department!" She picked up the pace, running hard. Imagine her
surprise... well... surprise doesn't cut it. No, this wasn't surprise. This
is commonly called, horror. Terror. Shock. A lot of other words. Imagine
her terrified astonishment when she found out the smoke was rising from HER
house.
Police and firefighters surrounded the burning ruin. Neighbors and
pedestrians and motorists were all stopped behind them to see the action.
"Is that our house?" Candace cried, "Oh, no!" She sprinted
down the street, burst through the crowd, past the police, through the police
tape and into what used to be the living room.
Police dashed after Candace. "Hey, kid, this is a restricted area!
You can't come in here!"
"This is my house!" Candace screamed, "What happened!? Mom! Dad!
Phineas! Ferb! Where are you? MOM!"
The officers grabbed Candace and yanked her back as a burning chunk of
wood fell from the ceiling, narrowly missing her.
"Let go! I have to find-!" Candace shouted, struggling.
"Kid, this house is on fire! You can't be here you'll get killed!" an
officer yelled.
"No one's in there, if that's what you're worried about!" another
added.
"Mom and Dad and Phineas and Ferb aren't here?" Candace asked wildly.
"I don't know where they are, but no one's in this house, I can tell
you that!" the officer said.
They pulled Candace back behind the security line and asked her some
questions, then they released her and told her not to leave. As the officers
left, someone came up behind her.
"Candace! How'd you get away from the robot?"
Candace whirled around and saw Isabella.
"Isabella!" Candace exclaimed, "Where are Phineas and Ferb and Mom and
Dad? And what happened to my house?"
"A giant robot in a suit came up and destroyed the house! And he
kidnapped Phineas and Ferb and your mom and dad! I saw it all from my window!
I thought he got you too, but I guess..."
"I was at the park!" Candace grabbed Isabella's shoulders, "Isabella,
which direction did the robot go?"
"That way!" Isabella pointed down the street.
"We've got to find that robot! If you have any tracking skills from
your Forest Fire Girls..."
"FireSIDE Girls!" Isabella corrected angrily.
"Whatever, now's the time to use them!"
"Hmm..." Isabella walked down the street a little and looked at the
pavement for a moment, "Well... there's a slight indentation in the pavement
that might have come from the robot, but I can barely see it..."
Candace walked up to the invisible footprint, got down on all fours
and sniffed the asphalt.
"Uhh... Candace? What are you-?"
"This came from the robot. I can smell them."
"Smell who?"
"Phineas and Ferb. I know that smell anywhere! They went this way!
C'mon Isabella! Let's find my brothers!" And with that, Candace let out a
howl like a bloodhound and took off down the street.
"Candace! Wait for me!" Isabella yelled, and ran after her.
"So, Perry the Platypus, now that I've got you out of the way, I can
finally carry out my diabolical scheme and rule the entire Tri-State area!"
Doofenshmirtz cackled.
Perry was fuming. He didn't know what it was Doofenshmirtz was making
him build, but he knew it was helping the jerk do something evil.
"You see Perry the Platypus, you are creating a SETI device, which I
will use to contact a powerful alien empire that will send me an army to
conquer the Tri-State area! AHAHAHAHA! I've already detected their
signals coming from a nearby star, and my Alien Translatinator has heard
tale of the other races they've destroyed! They'll be the perfect evil ally!"
Perry was really hoping Doofenshmirtz wasn't actually on to something.
What if he was though? If his plan actually worked, it would be the end of
the world as they knew it, and all the earth would be enslaved by a cruel and
tyrannical alien empire. Then it hit Perry. He could sabotage the device!
All he had to do was misplace something so the contraption wouldn't work! And
he could easily make it look like a mistake so Doofenshmirtz wouldn't vaporize
his family! Brilliant!
"Oh, Perry the Platypus, I think I'll take over now," Doofenshmirtz
said, "I'm sure that now that you know what I am doing you will try to
sabotage the device and make it look like it was an accident so I won't
vaporize you family."
Fudge.
"Go sweep my kitchen or something, go on!" Doofenshmirtz ordered.
An extremely frustrated Perry went over to the kitchen and began
sweeping. He had to beat Doofenshmirtz somehow... but he had to not let his
family get disintegrated either.
"Heh heh heh... in a few short minutes, my invention will be complete,
and I will call forth, my alien army! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!" Doofensmirtz
laughed.
"Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated," Isabella read.
"Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!" a mysterious jingle played.
"That's that jingle Phineas sang the day the toilet paper turned up in
the backyard! Isabella, we're close!" Candace said fiercly. Candace's nose
and Isabella's tracking skills had led them to the foot of Dr. Doofenshmirtz's
office building.
"You think Phineas and Ferb are in there?" Isabella asked.
"I know they're in there! I can feel it!" Candace roared, "They're
high up! C'mon, let's go bust them out of there!"
The two girls burst through the doors and took the elevators to the
story that Candace smelled Phineas and Ferb at. She was off by two, but they
took the stairs back down a couple floors and found Doofenshmirtz's door.
"This is it Isabella, they're behind that door!" Candace exclaimed,
"Hey, this was the last place I delivered those Wildfire Cookies to!"
"Are you sure this is it, Candace? It's kind of hard for me to
believe you can really smell Phineas and..." Isabella began.
"Ready, Isabella?" Candace asked.
"No, I-!"
"One, two, three!"
Candace let out a mighty cry and kicked down the door.
Or, she kicked it at least. Problem was, it didn't break.
WHAM!
"OWWW!" Candace screeched and grabbed her kicking foot while
hopping on the other one.
"Well, if the kidnappers are actually in there, they definitely know
we're here," Isabella said flatly.
"Good heavens, what was that?" a grating voice wondered, "Perry, the
Platypus get the door for me."
Perry opened the door. Candace leapt right over him, not even
realizing he was there and landed in attack position, fists raised and feet
apart.
"All right, where's my mom and dad and brothers?" she screamed at no
one in particular.
"Candace?" all the Flynn-Fletchers cried together.
"Perry?" Isabella exclaimed in surprise.
"The girl that delivered my Fireside cookies?" Doofenshmirtz shouted.
"That's right! Now give me back my family!" Candace roared.
"Hold on, wait, I-I don't even know who you... oh! You're the one
that wasn't at the house! You've come to save your family have you, ehehehe!
HAHAHAHA! We'll you'll never get them from me! Perry the Platypus! Attack!"
"Perry? Is he here too?" Candace asked incredulously.
Perry hesitated. Candace wasn't his favorite family member, but she
still WAS a family member.
"He's right behind you!" Isabella shouted.
"Get her or I'll disintegratinate them!" Doofenshmirtz roared.
Perry sighed. He had no choice.
"Disintegratinate? What does that-?" Candace wondered.
Her reply was a vicious platypus flying kick to the back of her head.
BAM! Candace went down on her face.
"OW! What the-?" she cried.
"Candace, look out!" Isabella yelped.
Candace rolled over just in time to see Perry's fist drive down into
her jaw. Candace recoiled then surprised both herself and Perry by delivering
a reflexive head butt into Perry's face, sending him sprawling onto the floor.
"Isabella! Get us out of here!" Phineas cried.
"I'm coming!" Isabella charged off toward the disintegratinator box
the Flynn-Fletchers were being held in.
"Not so fast, little girl!" Doofenshmirtz yelled, "Norm! Stop her!"
A massive object leapt out of the shadows and slammed down in front of
Isabella.
"Ahh! The giant robot!" she exclaimed.
"My name is Norm! I'm here to squash you like an insect!" Norm said
cheerfully.
"Isabella, watch out!" Phineas shouted.
Norm brought his huge robotic fist down at Isabella. She screamed and
dived to the side.
Over on the other side of the room, Perry grabbed Candace as she ran
at him, whirling her around and flinging her into one of Doofenshmirtz's
inventions, pushing it's button and firing it at a random object. The random
object turned into a roll of toilet paper.
Candace stared in slack-jawed awe at the roll of two-ply. Something
clicked inside her brain.
"It all makes sense now! The toilet paper roll and the inventions
disappearing and all of that! It's coming from here! This is what's been
stopping me from busting Phineas and Ferb all this time! I've found it! I
finally know what's been happening! I UNDERSTAND! I UNDERSTAND!" she
shouted with something like extraordinary joy.
Her joy didn't last long. Perry jumped and decked her with his fist.
"Candace, this is no time to be thinking about busting the boys! Run,
Candace, run!" Mom cried in agony.
"Don't run Candace, save us!" Dad shouted.
"Lawrence! Your daughter is getting pulverized and all you can think
about is yourself?" Mom asked angrily.
"Well, you and the boys are in here too, aren't you?" he replied.
Phineas and Ferb weren't really watching Candace. Both of them were
still mad at her. They were much more interested in (and had a lot more faith
in) Isabella.
"Leave Isabella alone!" Phineas yelled at Norm.
"Your pleading can't touch my robot heart!" Norm said gleefully. He
tried to stomp on Isabella, who was weaving around his legs, trying both not
to get killed and also trying to find a way to break the Flynn-Fletchers out
of the box.
"Just hang on, guys! I'll get you-AH!" Isabella yelled. Norm pounded
the ground right next to her, knocking her down.
"Isabella, run! We'll be okay!" Phineas shouted.
Isabella rolled out of the way of another crushing stomp from Norm,
then stood up just in time to avoid a kick from the monstrous robot.
"No, Phineas, I won't leave you!" she cried firmly.
"You have to! That thing will kill you!" Phineas yelled desperately.
Isabella got grazed by the robot's fist, which was pretty much like
getting punched by a regular-sized person.
"Ugh!" she grunted, "Relax, I've got an idea!"
"No, Isabella, run!" Phineas pleaded.
Isabella narrowly dodged another swing from the robot and ran for the
glass box.
Candace wasn't doing well. She had a bad temper, but she had no formal
fighting skills whatsoever. Even Perry's half-hearted fighting was way too
much for her. He slapped her with his pelt and kicked her with his webbed
feet and pecked her with his bill and... he was kicking her trash anyway.
That's not to say Candace wasn't putting up any resistance. She got
in a punch here and there.
It wasn't enough though. Perry finally got her into a nasty multi-hit
combo and sent her smashing through Doofenshmirtz's TV set.
"Hey, that was expensive!" Doofenshmirtz roared angrily.
Candace pulled herself out of the wreckage and crawled a few feet,
groaning in agony. Then she collapsed.
Perry grimaced painfully. He felt terrible. He couldn't do much
about it though. He walked slowly to Candace, looking about as sad as a
Platypus could. He waddled up to her side and touched her head gently. Poor
girl. Stupid Doofenshmirtz. This was his fault. He had to-
Suddenly, Candace reached out and grabbed Perry by his pelt. She
leapt to her feet, spun around and threw him across the room, slamming him
through one of Doofenshmirtz's monitors.
"Ha! Take that, Perry!" Candace shouted triumphantly.
"No! Perry the Platypus!" Doofenshmirtz cried in horror.
The injured Platypus pulled himself out of the screen. He looked like
he'd just gotten hit in the head with a stupidinator. He grinned idiotically
and his eyes wandered about unfocused as he stumbled a few feet and collapsed.
He didn't get up.
Doofenshmirtz ran to Perry's side. "Perry the Platypus you can't give
up now, I need your help!"
Right then something clocked Doofenshmirtz's hand, the one with the
disintegratinate button in it, knocking the deadly trigger harmlessly to the
floor.
"Ow! Hey, what th-OW!" Doofenshmirtz stumbled back a few feet as
Candace laid a cruel punch right into his jaw.
"C'mon, pharmacist! It's just you and me!" Candace yelled angrily.
"Fool! I will now disintegratinate your-uh, oh." Doofenshmirtz
suddenly realized he'd lost his button.
POW! Candace punched Doofenshmirtz in the eye and followed up with a
kick in the shin.
"Ow! Stop! That hurts!" he whined.
Candace kneed him in the gut. Air exploded from his lungs as he fell
on his hind end. Candace stood over him like a terrible wraith.
"End of the line! Let the twerps and my mom and dad go!" Candace
roared, pulling her fist back for another hard slug.
"Isabella, don't try it!" Phineas yelled.
She ignored him. She stood in front of the cage and yelled at the
robot.
"Come and get me!" she challenged.
The robot pulled back its fist.
"Everybody get out of the way!" she shouted.
Norm threw his punch. It went straight for Isabella, who jumped to
the side and avoided it, causing it to hit the cage and shatter the glass into
a thousand pieces instead.
Or at least, that's what was supposed to happen. Unfourtunately, Norm
knew what she was trying to do. As she hopped out of his way, Norm diverted
his punch to go sideways after her instead.
BAM! Isabella took a full swing from the giant robot and went
flying across the room. She crashed hard into a mess pile of machine parts.
"NO!" Phineas shouted.
"Isabella!" Mom cried.
"Oh, no!" Dad exclaimed.
Ferb's jaw dropped.
"You are no match for my iron fist!" Norm said gleefully. He stomped
over to the pile Isabella had landed in.
The courageous Fireside Girl slid off the pile and got to her feet.
She yelped and fell. Along with a billion other injuries, her right leg was
broken. The robot's shadow fell over her as she got shakily on her hands.
She looked up to see Norm looming overhead.
"D-d-d-don't-t-t... h-h-hu-hu-rt... th-th..." she said weakly.
"It was lovely fighting with you today!" Norm cried happily, "What a
shame that you have to go now! Let me show you to the door!" Norm raised his
giant foot over Isabella. She tried to roll but just fell.
"Uh... Phineas... I... lo-lo-" she said, trembling.
"STOP!" Phineas exploded. He was so loud that everyone, even
Norm paused and turned to look at him.
"Don't hurt her, please!" he screamed frantically, "I'll do anything!"
"Anything?" Doofenshmirtz asked.
Everyone looked at the mad doctor, who was now getting to his feet.
"Anything," Phineas affirmed.
"Hmm..." Doofenshmirtz glared at Candace, "this girl is your sister,
isn't she?"
"Unfourtunately," Phineas groaned.
"That wasn't nice!" Mom exclaimed.
Candace was a little taken aback too. "Unfourtunately?" she said with
a little hurt in her voice.
"You'll do anything, huh? Prove it. Clobber this irritating teenage
girl and throw her out of my lair and I'll spare your little friend!"
Doofenshmirtz said, "Norm, pull him out of the cage and bring him here, but
pick up his friend first."
"You've been granted a commutation!" Norm said to Isabella as he
lifted her off the ground. He then walked over and pulled Phineas out of the
glass cage. He carried him over and set him down next to Doofenshmirtz.
"Get her," Doofenshmirtz ordered.
"My pleasure," Phineas growled.
"Phineas... what are-?" Candace began.
Phineas let out a war yell and ran at Candace. He jumped and tackled
her to the ground.
"Ow! Phineas what're you-!" Candace tried.
His response was to slug her in the jaw.
"Ouch! You little twerp! Ow!" Phineas punched her again.
Candace finally got the message and kicked him off. Phineas fell back
but landed on his feet, ready for more.
"Phineas, stop! What's gotten into you?" Mom yelled.
"Don't treat your sister like that!" Dad added.
"You're goin' down, twerp," Candace spat acidly while getting to her
feet.
"So Candace, you finally busted us, huh?" Phineas asked, "Wow, I'll
bet you're really proud of yourself. Tell me, are you glad you ruined our
Summer? Does that make you happy?"
"What does that have to do with anything?" Candace asked.
"EVERYTHING!" Phineas roared. He leapt onto Candace and latched onto
her head. He gave her a good head butt then slid around her and yanked on her
hair.
"OOWW! Phineas! Knock it off!" Candace yelled.
Phineas dropped off her and tackled her legs out from under her,
causing her to crash hard to the floor. The confused Candace started trying
to rise, but her head got smacked down again by a punch from Phineas.
"OW! Stop it!" Candace shouted.
"That's for busting us!" Phineas roared.
Candace tried to grab him, but he jumped aside and kicked the side of
her head.
"That's for our Summer!" he shouted. He slugged her again. "And
that's for fooling me!"
Candace finally flung an arm bar into Phineas's chest and knocked him
back long enough to get on her feet.
"What's your problem Phineas! And when did I fool you?"
Phineas stood up and glared hatefully at her, but then his expression
started to melt into one of sadness.
"You fooled me into thinking you were awesome," he said.
"What? What are you talking about?" she replied.
"You were my big sister. No matter how uncool you were I thought you
were cool just because of that. I looked up to you and thought you were the
greatest. I was stupid. I should have seen it. You were nothing right from
the start. Today you finally showed me who you really were. A shallow,
boring, teenage jerk! You never liked me, and I don't know why I liked you!
Everything we did was just irritating to you, nothing was ever fun or cool!
All you wanted to do was get us in trouble for it and wreck everything. Well
guess what? You did it! Are you happy now? Are you?"
"Well, I-" Candace began uncertainly.
"Go home, Candace! We don't want you here! All you do is annoy Mom
and mess things up for me and Ferb."
"Phineas... I didn't even bust you, Mom walked in on you."
"It doesn't matter, because that's just what you've wanted this whole
time, isn't it?"
Candace opened her mouth, then shut it again.
"Your the worst sister I could've gotten and I don't care if I ever
see you again. Get lost, Candace."
Candace stared at him for a moment, lower lip quivering. She reached
out to try and touch his shoulder.
"Phineas I-"
Phineas slapped her hand away and stuck his fist in her face.
"GET OUT!" he roared.
Tears filled Candace's eyes and she turned around and ran out, crying
like a baby.
Phineas watched her coldly as she slammed the door behind her. He
felt a pang of guilt for hurting Candace, but he brushed it off. She deserved
it. Phineas slowly became aware that everyone in the room was staring at him.
He turned to look at them.
Isabella's confused look seemed to say, "What?" Ferb blinked at him
in astonishment. Mom was in tears. Dad looked like something didn't compute
in his head. Norm was staring at him, though his expression couldn't change.
The half-conscious Perry looked at him in slack-jawed awe. Even Doofenshmirtz
looked shocked by the event.
"W-wow..." he stammered, "that was mean! I kind of feel sorry for
her, and I'm the bad guy!"
"What? You said get rid of her, so I did!" Phineas spat.
"Yeah, but... do you really hate her that much? She did come to save
you!" Doofenshmirtz replied.
"Yes."
"Oh... okay... uh... well then, a deal's a deal! I won't hurt your
friend. She'll just stick with us. Norm, put them back in the chamber, Perry
the Platypus, too!" he ordered.
Norm picked up Phineas and Perry and carried them and Isabella back to
the disintegration chamber. He dumped them in and walked back to the corner
he'd started in.
"It's getting uncomfortable here..." Doofenshmirtz began, "I think the
police may find me soon. Flynn-Fletcher family and little girl! We're going
to go to my secret evil island hideout, where I will be safe to perform my
evil schemes and conquer the Tri-State Area! AHAHAHAHAHA!"
Doofenshmirtz walked over to a control panel and pulled a lever. The
whole room began to shake, and soon the entire thing lifted out of the
building. Rocket boosters sprang from different parts of the room and fired,
sending Doofenshmirtz, Isabella and the Flynn-Fletchers flying out of Danville
and across the ocean toward Doofenshmirtz's lair.
Most of the Flynn-Fletchers, anyway. Down on the ground, the last
lonely member of the family stared into the sky and watched the room fly away.
She watched it until it was out of sight, then broke down again. Candace's
rescue hadn't been thwarted by force, but by a few cruel words from her
once-adoring little brother.
And now she was alone.