Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who.
Warning: Not much to warn you about really, same stuff.
Pairing: Some Amy/Doctor. Jack fancies everyone. Clara has a crush.
Summary: It's the Doctor's birthday, and his friends are gonna throw him a party to remember.
Well, I wasn't planning on uploading anything today, but then I realised I couldn't not post a chapter on the 50th anniversary! So here we are, I wrote it all this morning. It's nothing amazing, just something to celebrate the occasion.
Sorry about any mistakes, I just wanna get it up as soon as possible. Then I can go watch lots of Doctor Who!
So yeah, this is just really a little tongue-in-cheek party sort of thing, something for Doctor Who's birthday. So enjoy! Or don't! I dunno, give it a shot. And who knows, you might see a past Doctor or two?
ROSE POV
"Is there a word for total screaming genius that sounds modest and a tiny bit sexy?" Clara asks.
She does that, just says strange things at strange times.
"Erm, I dunno. Why?" I ask in return.
"I think I've just found one." She says.
I look at her for a few seconds, before she just kinda shrugs and walks ahead.
I chase after her.
"Wait, where are you going?"
"Class." She replies.
"Do you even know where that is?"
She stops in her tracks.
We're stood in the middle of the hallway right now, so there's a lot of people traffic.
"Come on, Clara." I say, before turning in the opposite direction and leading her to her class. "Coming Amy?" I call behind us.
-50-
AMY POV
"Hey, guys." I say, before sitting down next to Rose.
"What's up?" She says.
I look around carefully, the coast is clear.
It's important.
"So, I was thinking-"
"Did it hurt?" That wasn't Rose. That was Sec. Sec's one of the particularly nastier members of the Dalek gang.
"Hey, how about you go hump Davros' leg for a bit, huh?" That's how you talk to a Dalek. They shouldn't mess with me.
"Yeah! Go sit somewhere else! Like on the moon! And...don't bother talking to my friend meanly again...you big...you big thing!" That is not how you talk to a Dalek. That was Clara. I turn to her and pat her on the shoulder; she's all bark, no bite. Her bark isn't very impressive either. I'm both bark and bite.
"Anyway," I say before turning back to my group. "I was talking to the Doctor earlier- Rose, try not to make it obvious that you're fawning over him." She frowns and hits my shoulder. Ow. That actually kinda hurt. "He said he doesn't have a birthday."
Clara looks confused. "He...doesn't have a birthday?"
"No."
"How can he not have a birthday?!" She asks.
"Because...he's...foreign."
"Foreign people have birthdays!"
"Yeah...but...he...forgot his."
"How can you forget your own birthday?!"
Rose interjects. "It's complicated Clara. Just accepts he doesn't have a birthday, it'd really speed things along."
"But it makes no sense!"
I sigh, before putting my hand on her shoulder. "Clara, just accept what I'm telling you. Please?"
She frowns before muttering a very child-like "okay".
"Anyway, he doesn't have a birthday, so I had this totally awesome idea."
I pause for dramatic emphasis.
"We're going to throw him a birthday party."
Rose and Clara stare at me with frowns upon their faces. Why are they frowning? They can't knock this plan; it's foolproof!
"We're going to throw a birthday party for the guy without a birthday?" That was Clara again.
"Today can be his birthday! It's the Doctor! He loves a party!"
Rose shakes her head, but then smiles. "Alright, count me in. Today's gonna be his day. Today is going be the day of the Doctor."
-50-
CLARA POV
"Psst!" 004 agent Oswald here, I'm on a very important mission.
Move it people!
Sorry about that, just lots of traffic around these parts.
Anyway, I'm on my way to meet with some very important people; it's a sort of secret meeting. I'm going to gather as many of the Doctor's friends as I can find, and tell them about the party. Trouble is, the Doctor has a lot of friends. Like it's unreal.
"Halt!"
Oh dear. It's one of the Sontaran gang. Ok, time to show them what I'm made of.
"What is it?" Aha! How intimidating was that! Awesome! Go Oswald!
"What are you doing in this corridor?"
Oh no. This is the one I've heard about, the one that takes his gang a little too seriously.
Ugly little guy.
No offence intended.
"I'm on a mission." I say. I will not reveal secrets to the enemy!
"Mission?! What mission?! Does this mission involve plans against the Sontarans?"
Pfft, like I'm gonna tell him that! Who does he think I am?
I'm Clara 004 Oswald!
"No, it doesn't."
"Then what does it involve?"
"Not saying."
"Tell me."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Now."
"I'll never tell."
"Tell me now!"
"Okay! I'll tell you! Just please don't shout at me! I can't take people shouting at me!"
What? He found my weakness!
He taps his foot impatiently. "Well?"
"We're...planning a party."
"For?"
I need to think of something, quick!
"For...the 50th anniversary!"
He looks intrigued.
"Oh! What 50th anniversary? Why do I not know of this? This information could be vital to the Sontaran gang!"
I need to think of something fast!
"The 50th anniversary of the London soufflé championships!"
Is that believable?
He just stares for a few seconds.
This is worse than waiting for them to announce the winner on X-factor...and I don't even watch X-factor! I guess that doesn't say much, but I understand the anticipation. I think I stopped watching it when it got really repetitive and- Oh, he's talking. Hold on.
"-and that's exactly what I plan to do! So don't try to stop me!" He says.
Wait, what? No! What did he say?!
"Wait, erm...sorry, what?"
"I said I must warn my fellow Sontarans of this. Do not try to stop me, or I will have to dunk your head in the nearest toilet."
Wow. I just got threatened by humpty dumpty.
"Oh, I see. I...guess I can't stop you. Sorry, what was your name again?"
He turned on his heels and marched in the opposite direction. "Strax!" He called over his shoulder.
Funny guy. Weird guy.
Anyway!
-50-
AMY POV
"Who the hell are you?!" I'm back at my house now, trying to keep the Doctor away from our plans.
Problem?
There's a strange guy stood in my bedroom, that's the problem.
He's just stood there in front of the mirror... How long has he been here for? Is he here to murder me?!
I mean, he's pretty fit, so it's not all bad, but HE'S IN MY BEDROOM! I don't care what he looks like! That's not cool! That's breaking and entering! Unless someone's been listening to my pleas for a really fit guy to materialise in my bedroom and take me for a tumble between the sheets (hey, I'm only human). Somehow, I think that's unlikely.
The man turns and looks at me, he steps away from the mirror and faces me.
"Amy!" He cries before running up and hugging me.
This is nice. Maybe I'll hit him with a cricket bat after the hug.
Unfortunately- I mean finally he breaks away.
"Do I know you?" I ask.
"Long story. Sort of a long story. I was fiddling with the TARDIS controls –you know, trying to get her working again- when this happened!" He motioned towards his body.
"What are you talking about? And what the hell are you doing in my house?!"
"It's me!"
"Who?!"
"I'm stuck like this for 50 minutes! The TARDIS is leaking time, and somehow, it's affected me. It's de-aged me!"
"Who the hell are you?!"
"The Doctor!"
Whoa. Ok. What?
I just stare at him for a few seconds.
Ok...
1, The Doctor looks different. Like really different. How is that even possible?!
2, I'm attracted to the Doctor.
This is very weird.
"But...how?" I ask.
"Well, the retro spin triathalin had an argument with my timey wimey detector and –WHAM! Here I am." He talks at like a thousand miles a second. "I'm stuck like this."
He turns towards the mirror again.
"Where did you get the new clothes? No bowtie?"
He's wearing a tight, brown pinstriped suit. He looks...different...and is that converse? He really is different!
"I told you, the TARDIS is leaking time. I didn't just shed a few years, I de-aged! My personal clock was literally turned back a few years; I'm from an earlier point in my own personal timeline. My memories have stayed put, after effect of the tiathalin I'd imagine. Anyway, here I am, for 50 minutes. Me. The Doctor. Whaddya think?"
He took a spin.
"I like it." Better to be blunt. I mean, I really like it. Maybe my dreams really have come true?
"Improvement?"
I toss the idea around in my head. "I dunno, I like the other you, you were like a really weird brother to me. But this you? Doctor, I'm having a hard time not looking at you."
"Molto-bene!" He beamed a big grin in my direction.
I don't think he knows what I mean.
Well, if my dreams are coming true, I'd better take full advantage.
I literally throw myself at him, pushing him up against the mirror and kissing him.
Oh this is awesome! He's kissing back! If this was my Doctor, he'd probably be pushing me off right now. But this guy? He's actually kissing me back! His hands are on my waist and everything!
Thank you! Whoever gave me this, thank you!
The kissing is awesome, but I've got other plans.
I step back and take his hands in mine.
"Let's take that new body for a test drive."
His eyes go wide and he lets go of my hands.
What?! No! Don't do this to me!
He starts to speak. "I'm flattered, Amy. Really, I am, but this can't happen."
"What? Why?!" Wow. Try not to sound too desperate, Pond.
"Trust me, it's for the best. The kiss was nice, though."
"Let's just kiss some more! That's totally fine with me!"
"Best not. Didn't you come here to tell me something? You said it was important on the phone."
"Forget that! This is important!"
"What is this?"
"What I'm hoping is going to be the best sex of my life!"
The Doctor's eyes went wide again.
"Listen, Amy, really, forget that. What did you need to tell me?"
That's it. Last ditch effort.
I launch myself at him again.
Success! He's kissing back!
I'm gonna get laid!
And this is awesome! Awesome kissing, wandering hands, I like this Doctor! Now it's time for-
Wait...what?
We both pull back at the same time.
What the hell?
"It's happened again, hasn't it?" The man in front of me says.
I just nod slowly.
"Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic!" I'm guessing that was sarcasm. He stares up at the roof. "Fine. If we're going to do this, we're skipping the next one, got that?!"
Great. Fit Doctor is gone. Now I've got Nothern Doctor in a leather jacket.
How did this happen?
-50-
ROSE POV
"Jack! Put him down! Alonso, those banners are wonky! Fix them!"
This is hard work. How do aliens have birthday parties? Is this just gonna be really really weird for him? Whatever. He's having a party whether he likes it or not. If anyone has a problem, they can talk to me.
Or Amy. Which is probably more of a threat, really.
Clara comes running up to me.
"Rose, there's something I probably should have mentioned by now."
"Not now Clara! We've got five minutes until he gets here! Seriously, we need this sorted!" I hurry her off in the other direction. This party will be ready.
Clara's gathered as many people as she can, but this many big personalities in one room is like some kinda ego battle, they all wanna either shout at or kiss each other.
Some of 'em wanna do both.
I guess that's teenagers for you.
Ah! My phone is ringing! It's Amy!
Right, here goes nothing.
"Hello?"
"Rose! The party is off! Get rid of it all!"
What?
"What?!"
She sighs deeply. Oh no. Rant incoming.
"We have a major problem. My life literally cannot take the stress. I'm coming to you, with the Doctor. I was determined to keep in the house, but no, Mr-stick-of-celery isn't having any of it. This guy is a nightmare!"
What is she talking about?
"What are you talking about, Amy?"
"I'll explain when we get here. I've had the day from hell. At least the technicoloured dreamcoat is gone."
She hangs up the phone.
What the hell was that about?
-50-
Amy pushes her way into the kitchen; luckily no one else seems to be around. That means no one can spoil it for the Doc-
Wait, who is this?
She's stood with a really tall guy. Curly hair. Teeth. Teeth and curls.
Huuuuge scarf.
"Hello, Rose. I'm the Doctor!" He says, in a big booming voice.
Amy just closes her eyes in what looks like frustration.
He looks at me for a second before grinning again.
"I see why this might confuse you, I'm the Doctor, but my appearance has been altered."
I just blink.
Amy speaks up. "Listen to what he's saying Rose. Something has happened to the Doctor, it's only temporary. But he keeps changing; I've had about half a dozen of them."
"I'm confused, what do you mean this is the Doctor?"
He shines that big grin again. "I'm him. The Do-"
Whoa.
"Oh no, this won't do at all."
Now he's someone else. Very...velvety.
"Great balls of fire! I've changed again!"
I've had enough of this. "Will someone please tell me what is going on?!"
'The Doctor' turns towards me. "I was tinkering with the TARDIS, trying to get it working again. I was attempting to reverse the polarity of the neutron flow when the resulting feedback zapped me, as it where, and sent me on a backward spiral through my own timeline. The effects should reverse when I reach my first face."
I think I need to lie down.
"So...you're the Doctor?"
"I'm the Doctor."
"Happy birthday."
-50-
AMY POV
Well, this has been going brilliantly.
Oh wait, no it's not.
I'm stood in the kitchen with Rose and a little guy with a big mop of hair.
"Oh my giddy aunt! A birthday party! But it's not even my birthday!" He says.
"You don't even have a birthday!" That was me.
"Exactly!"
This is getting us nowhere.
"Guys, listen, let's forget about the birthday party right now, we need to sort out whatever's going on with the Doctor."
"The Doctor? Doctor Who?"
That voice didn't sound-
I turn around.
Who the hell is this guy?
There's a guy stood in the doorway dressed all in black. He's wearing a hoodie, and his hood is up. That's actually kinda sinister...I dunno...he just looks...
He takes his hood down and grins.
"I think I've found them!" The guy shouts, drawing the attention of everyone else stood outside.
Oh no.
Please no.
They all come piling in.
I hear a voice behind me. "What is going on? What is the meaning of this, hm?" I turn around again and look at the Doctor. Great. Now he's an old man.
Everyone goes silent.
Just great.
Nothing ever goes right, does it?
I just throw on my biggest smile and stand in front of the Doctor, trying to hide him from the crowd.
"We're all here to celebrate-"
Suddenly, Clara step forward and throws some balloons into the air. "My birthday!"
What is she doing?
"Yes! Sorry for pretending it was for the Doctor guys, I was just trying to...surprise you! I can't exactly surprise myself, can I?" She throws me a wink.
Well...I guess that works... sort of.
I look around and smile at everyone, trying to give the impression that this was the plan all along. The hooded guy seems to have vanished, I can't see him anywhere. Ah well! We pulled it off! Sort of. Not really.
Maybe next year?
Clara ushers everyone outside, and leaves me, Rose and the Doctor alone.
I collapse against fridge and close my eyes.
"Happy birthday, Doctor."
-50-
So there we are! We'll get back to the plot next chapter.
Couple of thinga to mention in reply to some reviews -
I'm writing the Daleks and Cybermen with the idea that they are just normal humans, like a typical gang of school bullies. But it's really up to you how you imagine them.
Also, it's the eleventh Doctor, but again, it's really up to you when it comes to your imagination, you can imagine whatever Doctor you want. Although, I am writing it as the eleventh Doctor, I dunno if I've been successful in capturing his voice, I hope so, but that's who I've got in mind.
When it comes to pairings...well, to put it bluntly, I won't be able to satisfy everyone. I'm trying to put something for everyone in here, but ultimately I've gotta accept that I can't suit everyone's tastes. I've kinda been going for a Rose/Doctor thing not because that's my favourite pairing, but because it seems to be the most popular.
I think that was all the questions, so yeah. I hope you enjoyed it. Sorry to all the Doctors I skipped; I didn't have time for all of you.