I was having difficulty sleeping; I stared at the ceiling for what seemed hours. I turned on my lamp, causing the shadows to flee into hiding and took out my book. After trying to read a few pages, I couldn't get into it. I was physically tired yet mentally awake and it was driving me crazy.
Eventually I managed to go to sleep, drifting into a dream to meet my mother. I wasn't allowed to summon her for unknown reasons which infuriated me but I got around that by summoning her to my dreams. No one could catch her there. She was taken from me when I was very young. Until I was 8, it was just the two of us; but she was taken away and declared mad when she knew the truth and I was taken into care. She died before I could see her again. They killed her by locking her up, making her vulnerable to attacks. In my dreams, she will stay safe.
I walked into the familiar room where I kept her safe. She was there sitting by the fire reading. It still surprised me to see her looking so fragile. As soon as I walked into the room, darkness began consuming it and fear began filling my heart. I could no longer see her and I was no longer in her room but somewhere else. I tried to wake myself up but it didn't work. I walked blindly through the darkness and bumped into someone. A fire ignited in the fireplace showing me the face of the person I bumped into. I stepped back as I realised it was Lucifer. This was not real; I kept telling myself, you are letting your fear consume you. I started panicking I felt trapped in my own imagination.
"You are not imagining this", he said. I knew deep down he was telling the truth and it frightened me to death. I tried to step back but couldn't move. My panic grew. He stepped towards me. I closed my eyes not wanting to see him or anything, all I wanted to do was to imagine it was happening. Suddenly something came to me and I realised the connection with the symbol and me. I couldn't believe I couldn't see it before. It was so simple and I was so blind. I am the reason Lucifer was getting stronger, he was feeding off my magic but why me? He could have chosen anyone else.
"You really shouldn't fight it, it will only be worse for you. I have already won."
My head was spinning. My thoughts drifted to the Halliwell's and how their family meal was disrupted by him and wonder how many other families had he destroyed. My anger grew, I really needed to learn how to control it but it was just so hard. I couldn't handle how scared those children felt as they saw their family being consumed by the shadow. That fear haunts me and I can still feel it now. Stupidly I lunged at Lucifer attempting to hit him. He grabbed my wrist. It burned so badly. I felt my insides were slowly and painfully burning. Then the pain stopped. I felt increasingly tired and drained like the energy was being sucked out of me. Everything went black.
******