* Here's Chapter 3. I'm about half a dozen chapters ahead so if I slow up, there'll still be a fairly regular stream of chapters. At this stage, I have no idea how long this is going to be but 15/20 seems like a good guess. I also have no idea where I'm going with this, I'm tending to throw ideas at the page when I think of them, though I know roughly where Chapters 9-11 are going, and I've written the first 8. Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed, followed, read and favourited, it means the world to me. Also, I may have cried a little bit whilst writing this chapter, in which Clara is upset so the Doctor shows her to her favourite place in the universe...*

Clara sat on the edge of the universe and she was the happiest girl in it. At least that's what it felt like. She sat on the ledge outside the TARDIS doors, drinking a cup of vanilla tea with cinnamon pieces that the Doctor had brought back from British colonial India (the finest tea in the universe he claimed). Clara had felt a bit bad about where it came from but the Doctor insisted he went a long way towards ending the colonisation while he was there. That had made her feel better. He had his arm slung casually around her shoulder and rested her head on his arm, sipping her tea as he explained to her what all the different colliding parts of the galaxies were doing. He simplified it, so she understood most of what he was saying, but it was still more about his soothing voice than anything else for Clara. That said, the story behind the swirling mixes of red and green was truly fascinating, as billions of new life forms came into existence and passed away in instances. The Doctor said he had slowed it down for them, so they could watch in slow motion and fully capture the extraordinary colours and lives that were going on. Entire species were living out their lifespans at the centre of the swirling collisions of stars, planets and other interstellar phenomenon. Clara was amazed by it all, but she couldn't help but feel weird about the fact that they were watching lifecycles pass by in what appeared to be seconds for them but was significantly longer for the creatures living them.

"Time is relative," The Doctor answered with a shrug. "We're just moving faster than them. Everything is slowed down for us."

"I know you're a Time Lord and you're used to this," Clara whispered. "But doesn't it bother you? That could be Earth in there. My family, my friends, my whole world, could've been in there, I could've been born and died a million times over and we're just watching the pretty colours."

The Doctor seemed to be pondering something. He smiled for a moment and then stood up. Clara went to stand up too but he ushered her back to her seat, kissing the top of her head as he did so. She flushed and sipped her tea.

"Stay there," he instructed her, as he bounded over to the console. "Keep drinking your tea. And close your eyes. No peeking Soufflé Girl."

"Aye aye Captain," Clara grinned and saluted, closing her eyes and sipping her tea. The TARDIS wasn't making any noise beyond its usual standard whining that it made while they were hovering but she assumed he was taking her somewhere. Maybe he was fetching some other surprise from the depths of his TARDIS. "Doctor, can I open them yet?"

"One more minute," he called, an amused flicker in his voice that made Clara smile and yet she was frustrated. She was one of the most impatient people alive, but she could stomach being patient to annoy the even more impatient Time Lord. Having the shoe on the other foot and he being the one taking his time was annoying to say the least. "And, open."

Clara opened her eyes. She was staring down at a frozen planet, glaciers of ice spiralling high above everything, almost reaching the TARDIS, with great cliffs and valleys of ice. It was one of the most incredible things Clara had ever seen. She giggled and grinned at the Doctor who came to sit beside her. She looked at him, her excitement evident on her face.

"Where are we?" she asked, her voice almost breathless.

"Down there, is Pligh. It's the seventh planet in the Tundra system, which is one of the many systems housed in the red galaxy we were just looking at. It's right at the heart of the system, it's about to collide with the green galaxy and this entire system will be wiped out. But that won't happen for about another 1200 years local time. You want to see the people at the heart of the cataclysm, so here we are. We can go down there if you want?"

Clara nodded, grinning. She looked at the flimsy dress/jacket combo she was wearing and stood up, looking around frantically.

"Where did she move the wardrobe too this time? I'll need to wrap up warmly if we're going down there!" Clara asked, but was confused as the Doctor chuckled and shook his head, before shoving Clara out the TARDIS door.

Clara screamed as she fell, the wind whipping through her hair. She swirled around and forced herself into a diver style position. She'd never felt so alive, never felt more terrified. If this was how she died, then she could die with adrenaline pumping through her veins. Her screams turned into whoops of joy and delight, turned delirious by the fall. The Doctor had thrown her out, she thought. He must've had a reason. She wasn't going to die. Sure enough, a hole in the ground was directly beneath her and as she plummeted into it, she felt herself slowing gradually to the point where as she was about to hit the floor, she reached a complete stop. Sure enough, as she landed on the ice, the TARDIS was waiting for her, its occupant leaning against it with a smug grin on his face. Clara glared at him playfully and as he approached punched him in the arm as hard as she could, which only seemed to make him more amused.

"Never do that ever again!" Clara yelled. "I thought I was going to die!"

"Didn't I mention that Pligh was the greatest skydiving planet in history?" The Doctor asked curiously. "Huh, must've slipped my mind!" She punched him again. "The vents in the holes make the air gradually denser, until it forms the ice that makes up the floor. Aren't you going to ask why we aren't freezing?"

"Because it's not really ice right?" Clara asked, wiping the smug look off the Doctor's face as he grumbled. "What is it then?"

"It's tightly packed silicon crystals, melted together by thousands of years' worth of heat and pressure. Looks like an ice planet, isn't an ice planet. Now, where do you want to go first?" The Doctor grinned, gesturing around.

"Where is there to go?" Clara asked. She looked around but the room itself wasn't very big, with a hollowed out cavern on one side forming the exit. "And where is everyone?"

"The people will be up on the surface or in their buildings, all formed of the same silicon naturally," The Doctor informed her. "I can show you the city if you'd like?"

"Duh," Clara grinned and ran over to the TARDIS, beckoning him to follow her. He rolled his eyes and followed her inside and a few minutes later, they were rematerializing in the middle of a city, formed entirely of the sculpted ice-like structures the Doctor had told her about. It was beautiful, Clara thought and when the sun shone on the buildings, they dazzled, almost blinding her. The Doctor handed her a pair of sunglasses and Clara's smile only grew. As the Doctor pointed out various buildings and their functions, his hand slipped into hers and she found herself more at home on this strange alien world than she had since her mum had died. Because she was with him. And he knew everything about how to make her smile and laugh and feel warm inside without even trying. The people of Pligh were very pale, with varying shades from sandy yellow to pale icy blue. The Doctor said that where they lived on the planet would determine their shades, as there were many different layers and types of blended silicon, which all the creatures fed off and what type they ate determined their colour. Otherwise, they were fairly humanoid except they had no noses, only slits for eyes and circular, visceral mouths. They looked frightening but according to the Doctor, they were as harmless as humans. That was supposed to be comforting, but to Clara, it seemed the opposite.

"And that building there, houses the ruling families. Would you like to meet them?" The Doctor asked and Clara shot him a look. "What?"

"I'm honestly not even surprised by you anymore," she sighed exasperatedly. "Let's go and meet the royalty."

The Doctor guided her through the crowds and aimed for the building. He was grinning but Clara had let go of his hand and fallen back. He turned to see her horrified face.

"Clara?" he called but she could barely hear him. She was lost in the haze that was in front of her. She was struggling to breathe and managed to pull herself together. The Doctor reached her and turned, frowning. His eyes opened wide and he pulled her aside. "Clara listen to me, I didn't mean to show you this Clara…"

But she was transfixed. It was him, her Doctor. Leaned up against a wall, snogging River Song with a ferocity she'd never seen before. She'd known that River was his ex, but she'd always assumed that River was long gone, from a different Doctor, a different face. She'd always treated River the same way she'd treated the Doctor ending the Time War, a different face, and a different man. She wasn't sure which it hurt more to see. The Doctor's arm was on her shoulder, guiding her away from the sight in front of her. Once they were around the corner, she rounded on him.

"Why did you bring me here?" she demanded. "Is this what you do, bring all the girls you have a crush on to the same spot and watch them all fight over you?"

"Clara," he interrupted. "I wanted to bring you here to show you the beauty of life and how I helped the people here. But I got my timings a bit mixed up. I'm still here, I'm still helping them. I know that for you, it seems like I'm just revisiting past glories or rubbing it in your face but for me…" he took his time. "You know how old I am, you know how long I've been travelling. I may have the same face, but that was 200 years ago for me. I left River in that library a long time ago, because seeing her hurt too much. It reminded me too much of Amy and Rory. I left everything and everyone. But you saved me Clara. You brought me back from that. And I wanted to show you all the wonders of the universe. The thing about seeing everything Clara. It's all very well and good having the whole of time and space to explore. But everyone has favourites. And I'm the same. Yes I'll take you to places I've been before with people I cared about long ago. But what's the point in seeing everything if you don't get to share the places you love most with the people that you…travel with…" he finished lamely, obviously trying to avoid ending that sentence the way he wanted to.

Clara beamed despite herself and threw herself into his arms, holding him softly and burying her head into his chest. He patted the top of her head and they separated. She smiled up at him and he smiled down at her in return.

"Sorry," she murmured. "I mean, that was a wonderful speech and all. Top notch. I totally didn't mean to get all emotional and that. It's like. You know when you go round to your boyfriend's house and he still has a picture of his ex on the mantelpiece?"

"No," the Doctor replied.

"Well that's what it's like. I know it feels to you like a lifetime ago to you, but to me it feels like I'm just another cog in your wheel, another small moment in your story. And in a few months, even years' time, maybe when you've changed your face once or twice, what will I be?" Clara was breathless. "I'll just be like River. An ex. A memory. And you won't be my Doctor anymore. You'll be someone else's Doctor. And I won't be your impossible girl. Someone else will be."

"Clara," he took his time over his reply, biting his lip nervously. "You may think that you're just a fleeting glimpse to me, but what we have right now is real. I don't know if you and I will be together until you die, or until I die or if something will get in the way. I'm over 1000 years old, but that doesn't mean I'll live for another thousand. I might have 50 more girlfriends in my life, you might be the last. But what I do know is that I don't know. And I never forget a face. You, River, Amy and Rory, Donna, Martha, Jack, Mickey, Rose, Adam, Grace, Sarah-Jane, Ace, Tegan, Susan, Adric, Jamie, Victoria, Liz and so many more. They all have a special place in my hearts. And you, Clara Oswald. You will always have a place there too. And where we are in 50 years or 500 years or 5000 years, doesn't change and impact on where we are now. Time, Clara, is relative. And if you let the bigger picture spoil the moment, then your whole life will be nothing but a painting unfinished, a broad canvas with no detail, no joy. And I just referred to you as my girlfriend didn't I?"

"Yes, yes you did Chin-Boy," Clara chuckled, tears forming in her eyes. "That was a beautiful speech you know."

"Of course I know. You'd think after 1200 years I'd be able to work a crowd," he said smugly and she kissed him lightly. "Now, the brown galaxy awaits us. A thousand stars, all shining for you Clara. Let's try and see as many as we can, before they fade. Or before I turn up and ruin everything."

"River just slapped you," Clara pointed, and the Doctor winced as if feeling it himself. "Why did she do that? Or can you not remember?"

"Of course I remember," the Doctor smiled. "I just suggested we build a giant ice statue of her parents for the locals to worship. I think she thought I was making light of the local customs."

"And were you?"

"A little bit yeah, but I also wanted to see the look on Amy's face when I told her she was being worshipped by someone other than Rory…" The Doctor faded off and smiled sadly at Clara, who could see he was getting nostalgic. "Still, long time ago now. Nothing to be done about it."

"Do you miss them? Amy and Rory I mean?" Clara asked suddenly, her voice quiet but the Doctor looked at her and smiled.

"Not when I'm with you," he replied. "When I'm with you Clara Oswald, all I can think about is what to show you next. Where I'm going to take you next. How best to make that adorable little smile you do keep going until the end of time. And as much as sometimes I want to go back and I want to see them again, just once, I know I never can."

"Why?" It was a simple question, voicing the very thought that must've run through the Doctor's head a million times as he had clearly debated it himself. "Why not? I know they're stuck in New York and the paradoxes and blah blah but why can't you go back to before New York? Before you had to leave them? Just once, just to say you love them both and just to see them? You have the whole of time and space at your disposal. Like you said, time is relative."

"Because," he sighed. "I can't trust myself. Foreknowledge is dangerous. I could cross my own timeline, but if I made a mistake, if I let slip anything about their future or about my future, it could rip the entire universe apart Clara. It's not worth it, just to satisfy my own selfish needs."

"I trust you," Clara whispered. "Completely. My Doctor. What's the point of having a time machine if you can't say goodbye to the people that you love?"

Tears were running down her cheeks now and the Doctor smiled despite himself.

"Yes, I suppose you're right."

Clara knew she'd gotten somewhere and he ushered her back to the TARDIS. As they hopped in, the Doctor was still grinning like a child at Christmas. Clara giggled as they landed and he ran over to the doors, inviting Clara out.

"I can't believe it," she chuckled. "I'm finally going to meet…"

She stopped dead as she got outside the doors and her jaw dropped. The tears started to fall now, huge droplets and she turned and ran back inside the TARDIS as quickly as she could, throwing herself into the Doctor's arms.

"I said I didn't trust myself," the Doctor said evenly. "I didn't say I don't trust you. You can do this Clara, look at me. I believe in you."

"How?" she sobbed. "How can I do this? How can I go out there, knowing who she is, what she is?"

"Clara," the Doctor said quietly. "You don't have to do this. But you're strong. The strongest. My Clara. I might not be able to say goodbye. But you can. For the both of us. And I know that you can do a better job that I ever could."

"I love you, you know that?" Clara said. "My Doctor. I love you. Can you come with me?"

"Of course I will Clara. My Clara. I've always been here. Beside you. And I love you too."

Clara took a deep breath and stepped out the TARDIS. She could see herself, aged two, playing just across the park. The Doctor had parked the TARDIS just behind a huge tree and put the engines on silent so hopefully nobody would notice their arrival.

"Mum," Clara whispered. The Doctor put an arm on her shoulder. "What do I say, what do I do?"

The Doctor didn't answer and at that point, the younger Clara fell off the swings and Ellie Oswald ran over, brushing Clara as she did so. Clara gasped and almost fell to one knee, the Doctor steadying her. Once she'd ascertained her daughter was alright, Ellie returned to Clara, unaware that she was in fact also her same daughter and smiled apologetically.

"Sorry about that, you know how it is when you think your child's in danger," she said. Then she noticed Clara was crying. "Oh my stars are you alright?"

"Yeah," Clara sobbed. "I'm fine. It's just. My mum was exactly the same. When I was growing up, she was my hero, she was always there when I needed her, whether I realised I did or not. And then she…"

"She died," mouthed the Doctor, pointed at Clara and making a noose with his hands. Ellie shot him a shocked look and turned to Clara.

"It's alright love, come here," Ellie embraced her daughter, pulling her into a hug as Clara sobbed her eyes out. "I'm sure she's looking down on you now, still watching over you. And I don't know you, but I'm sure she'd be touched by how much she meant to you and I'm sure she'd be proud."

Clara was crying harder now and whispered "mum" again. Here, in her mother's arms one last time, she was both inconsolably sad and yet she was more grateful to the Doctor than for anything else. He had never given her a better gift; he had never taken her to a better place than to her mother's arms. Just once more. She looked up and smiled wearily, rubbing her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she laughed through the tears. "You're a total stranger and I'm crying on you. You must think I'm so silly."

"No dear," Ellie said. "I think you loved your mum very much."

"I still do," Clara said quietly. "I still do."

Back inside the TARDIS, the Doctor gave her space as she tried to collect her thoughts. Clara was silent for a while, as the Doctor hummed quietly, glancing at her occasionally to make sure she was okay and flipping dials and levers on the TARDIS console. Clara thought about him. Everything they'd seen, everything they'd done. Then she had an idea.

"Doctor," she said eventually. "I want to take you somewhere."

"Okay," he said, looking confused for a moment but going along with it. "Where?"

"My apartment," she smiled. He looked completely flummoxed and desperately flailed his hands, slicking back his hair, straightening his bow tie and all the while trying to hide behind the TARDIS main console, hoping she wouldn't see him and failing miserably. "Wow, down boy," Clara chuckled. "I just mean, the brown galaxy was nice and all, but it's time I took you to one of my favourite places. I want to get changed first and we can walk from there. You might want to change; it's going to be a nice place."

The Doctor nodded and frantically worked the console, landing the TARDIS in Clara's main living room. She stepped out and chuckled despite herself. He was about to vanish into the depths of the TARDIS when she called him back.

"And Doctor?" she called. He looked back and she smiled, tears still glinting in her eyes. "Thank you. So much. You have no idea how much this means to me."