Chapter 8 ~ Adrenaline

I watched as the warm water fell, flowing freely before hitting the shower floor, slipping quickly down the drain. I leant against the stone, and made no move to enter the dark shower. It was late. Or, early, to be precise. I'd just had quidditch practice, and where most of the Slytherin boys showered in the locker room, I preferred the privacy of the dorm showers. Finally I began to strip, pulling my shirt off over my head and tossing it to the floor.

I unbuttoned and unzipped my pants, easily pulling them off of my left leg. I took my time with my right, balancing myself carefully on my left leg, leaning against the stone wall for extra balance. Once they were off, I tossed them to the side also, quickly ridding of my boxers and stepping inside the dark stone shower. I didn't step into the stream of water yet, reaching my hand out and letting the water run over it. Letting my body get used to the feeling. Slowly, I edged my way into the water, finally standing still, letting the water rush over me.

Thoughts.

Thoughts are interesting things. Everything you know, have learnt, remember. Things you plan for the future, outcomes. Numerous thoughts, always coming to the surface of your mind. You can choose to hold onto those thoughts. Analyse them, think on them... Or you can let them go. An exercise far easier said than done. Simple thoughts can trigger dramatic responses, whether you realize or not. They can bring back old memories, past experiences, and lead to strong emotions. Anger, sadness, happiness, bitterness, fear, anxiety, stress.

Water.

I've always been afraid of water. I can't quite link back the reason for this to any memories, or bad past experiences. Perhaps it was just something I was born with. I am a land creature, and to most land creatures, water can be a daunting thing. It's a phobia, I will admit. 'Aquaphobia', its called. The correct term would be 'Hydrophobia', meaning 'water-fear' in Greek... Though Hydrophobia happens to refer to a symptom you get in the later stages of rabies, so I'd rather stick to the term 'aqua'.

Scars.

I scar very easily. Every tiny scratch I ever got as a child, every time my flesh tore, left a small, but noticeable mark. Obviously, scars cover me from head to toe, but most of them are very faint. So faint, you would have to get very close to see them. Closer than I would let anyone get. There are a few that are bolder, though. A few that have left indentations in my skin, such as the one on my shoulder. And finally my leg. My left leg, to be precise. It has caused me grief for more than a year now, thanks to one foolish night.

A large, bold line runs down from the right side of my left knee, to the bottom left side of my ankle. It's the darkest part of my skin, the line a width of my index and pointer finger. The rest of the skin on my left calf is also dark. It is covered in small, sharp lines. More scars. Whenever its about to rain, I can feel it in my left leg. Always easily balanced, and stable, I could stand just on my right leg for hours. I'd be lucky to stand on my left for more than a few seconds.

The Forbidden Forest.

Perhaps more pain than it is gain. But I can't help myself. Its like a drug, an addiction. Not the forest itself, but the feeling it gives me. The rush. The high.

The adrenaline.

Lifting up into the air I sighed as the cool air brushed against my face. I hovered on my broom for a while longer, taking in the feeling and trying to hold it there, saving it for a rainy day. Closing my eyes, I spread my arms out, and I could finally breathe freely. No matter how stressful and cramped it got in that school I could always rely on this for release, and the freedom I longed for.

My eyes flashed open and I leant forward slightly. Then I was off, racing towards the forbidden forest. And though the Forbidden Forest was just that - 'forbidden' - it felt completely natural as I flew through the thick trees, dodging familiar branches that were in my path. It was too easy. There was no thrill. Though, that was no matter, I had other ways of getting my fix of adrenaline.

Smirking to myself, I rose slightly higher and peered down below me, slowing as I did so. I could see everything underneath me. The plants and trees moved in the wind, whispering to each other. I travelled for another few minutes, deeper and deeper into the forest, before I finally spotted my target. The giant creature looked up and saw me. Its red-brown coat shone in the moonlight and I almost smiled at the beautiful bear watching me.

Its head lifted, and it sniffed at the breeze. Out of curiosity, the bear stood on its back legs, and I sucked in a sharp breath as its size truly astounded me. It was easily double my size, most likely male. Remembering the task at hand, I plotted a way to dodge around it, without getting myself killed in the process. I wanted to annoy it. I wanted to feel the adrenaline rush as it charged at me, ready to kill.

The bear was still unsure whether I was a threat or not, and he continued to look in my direction. I leant forward and sped towards him. I circled once around him before I turned and sped off in the opposite direction. The bear let out a small grunt, as it dropped back onto four legs. I dodged back towards him, even closer than before, and the bear finally fought back. He swat at me with his paw and missed me by an inch.

I let out a loud laugh. I could feel my energy pulsing, and I was alight with the fire and thrill of the moment. My sense of danger had completely vanished as I dodged, weaved and flew past and around the bear. Letting out a roar, he began to randomly swat at me, becoming angry. My turns became swifter and faster, and I knew one wrong move would equal a slow and painful death.

My breathing was ragged. I tried to avoid the huge paws coming down on me in what seemed every direction. I was so close to him. I could almost touch the thick red-brown fur that covered his body. Though everything flew by me so quickly, I could make out every detail of the bear; each marking of his coat, the way his black nose quivered, his sharp teeth that bared in defiance and how his swats became more like flails as time went on,

I remembered his eyes. They were dark as night, rolling back into his head in fury… yet they were wise and thoughtful. With these thoughts in my mind, I suddenly realized where I was. Right next to those razor sharp teeth. I turned swiftly to the right. That was when I felt his teeth clamp onto my left leg, like blades slicing into my skin and ripping at my flesh. I let out a yell, swiftly flying out to the right, before the bear could clamp his jaw down any harder and bring me down with it.

I flew as fast as I could back towards the edge of the forest, and I dodged the same branches with a little less grace. I reached the clearing faster than I ever had before, and I slowed down, hovering above the grass before I flopped down onto the ground. I rolled onto my back, and I struggled to get my breath back. I let out a laugh, a crazed laugh, and my head turned back to the forbidden forest.

I had only lied there for a few moments when the pain in my left leg began to build so quickly and intensely, I could not ignore it. I cried out and sat up. I looked down and the first thing I saw was red… Red, red and more red. It took me a few moments to realize the red was my blood, pooling out over the grass frighteningly quickly. The pain was getting worse, and I wrapped my hands around my leg to hopefully restrict the blood flow… Only to withdraw them at the texture of my leg.

My skin was literally strewn around an open gash down my shin, flapping off of my leg in large chunks. The whole bottom part of my leg had been torn to shreds, and the only solid part was my tibia, which held the flaps of skin. My foot was split in two, but it was there, hanging limply off of the rest of the skin and bone that was once a leg. It was all red. I cussed loudly and tried to collect my thoughts before I passed out from the pain, or the blood loss.

Madam Pomfrey.

Standing up on my right leg I retrieved my broom from the ground (or the beginnings of a pool of blood) and mounted as gently as I could. I was dizzy and I could feel my heart beat in my head, throbbing and pulsing. I wanted to be sick. I glanced up to the castle. I needed to get there… Quickly. I pushed off the ground and my eyes followed the castles dark, gloomy walls until they reached the hospital wing. To go straight there I would have to go over the black lake.

Ignoring the thought of flying over the dark water, ready to consume me, I moved forward, crouching low on my broom to pick up speed. I flew up higher and higher, up and above the water. That was when I passed out. I hurtled towards the dark lake, down towards the rocks and the water below me. My right side scraped against the rough, jagged rocks as I fell into the water.

My eyes opened as the Black Lake's salty water touched my open wounds. My body was engulfed in water and pain. On sheer willpower to live my arms and leg began to kick and flail, desperate to reach the surface and escape the nightmare. I broke the top of the water and took in a deep breath, as I tried to hold myself afloat. My broom. I needed my broom.

My breathing was shallow and ragged and I searched blindly in the water. It lied on the rocks, surprisingly still in one piece. After what seemed like hours I was once again flying towards the hospital wing, gripping onto my broom for dear life. I was soaked, completely chilled to the bone, and in agony. Every breath was torture and I trembled and shuddered uncontrollably.

I limped/hopped into the hospital wing and dropped my broom to the floor. I could only manage to stand there for a few moments before I crumbled to the floor. My clothes were soaked. Every part of me was soaked. A liquid oozed onto the floor. A mixture of water and blood.

I stepped out of the shower swiftly, wrapping a towel around myself. Quickly turning the faucet, the steady stream of water ceased and I stood there for a few moments, trying to snap out of it. Groaning, I pat myself down and changed.

Thoughts.

You can choose to hold on, or let go.

I sat disinterested in my homework one evening, in the library. As usual, the library was filled with mainly Ravenclaws and, of course, Granger. I was sitting on a table in a corner furthest from all of the other students with Nott and Greengrass. Nott rested his eyes beside me, asleep on his arms, leaning on the table. Greengrass sat across from him, silently reading a novel for History of Magic. I glanced up and around the library. shifting slightly in my seat. I'd been feeling very restless all day. Its about time to take a trip to the Forbidden Forest, I thought. Still, the night seemed so very far away.

I glanced to Daphne and she caught my eye, though I didn't lock eyes with her for very long, my gaze drifting to the sleeping boy beside me. I couldn't help but snicker a little. I doubt a thunderstorm would have woken him, he was sleeping so deeply and soundly. "He's had a long day. Sort of gave up" Greengrass spoke, her voice quiet, the corners of her lips twitching up slightly. I couldn't help but smirk slightly, absentmindedly fiddling with the quill in my hand... Which gave me a rather interesting... idea.

Turning slightly, I placed my quill to Nott's arm and began to draw, watching Nott to make sure he didn't wake up. There was a pause and Greengrass let out a tiny laugh, before she dabbed her silver and navy blue quill to her ink well, leant over, and began to draw on his arm also. I couldn't help but be somewhat surprised at her actions... I had assumed she would stop me. Nott was her best friend after all. Then again, it was Greengrass, and she'd never really been the sweet, sympathetic type.

Slowly my masterpiece came to life. I simply drew a little stick figure man, holding a large stack of books, doing his best to hold them all up. I then moved a few centimetres down Nott's arm and drew the same stick figure man, however he had lost the battle, and was lying on the ground, books piled on top of him. I couldn't help but peer over to Greengrass's drawing. It was a picture of Malfoy and Parkinson, their tongues going wild. She drew a heart around them, adding the finishing touch - A banner beneath it saying "True Love."

She glanced over and laughed quietly at my drawing. "Little morbid, don't you think...~?" she asked me, and I smirked, admiring my silly piece of work. "Mm? Well... Its how I'd like to die" I replied. I gestured to her own little piece, my smirk growing. "Oh and apparently my drawing is the morbid one~" I said, and she laughed gently. "Well played" she said, drawing what looked like the beginning of a cat on Nott's cheek.

It was then Nott shifted slightly, his eyebrows furrowing slightly, though he didn't wake up. I went back to his arm, writing in big letters. 'C'è sono sempre conseguenze quando uno addormentarsi cadute in biblioteca'

"What does that mean~?" Greengrass asked, glancing over, past her detailed cat drawing."There are always consequences when one falls asleep in the library~" I told her, putting my quill down for a moment to admire my work just a little more. Greengrass laughed gently once again. "Perfect" she said, nodding gently, signing "Daphne" beneath her cat. "Wake him up" I told her. "I want to see how quickly he notices."

Greengrass shook her head slightly before placing her quill down, pulling a blank expression and gently placing a hand on Nott's shoulder, shaking him a little. "Theo~? Theo wake up...~" she said, and it wasn't long before his head fell to the side slightly, staring up at Greengrass, his eyes half lidded. I watched quietly, and picked up my quill once more... This could be interesting~