*So peeps, left you on a bit of a cliffhanger there didn't I? This chapter's aptly named The Cloud and it's a lot shorter (sorry) but then the previous chapter is the longest apart from possibly one other. So, River's back in town and that can only spell trouble right? I hope you enjoy this chapter and once more, sorry about the ending. I'm aiming to put up my Whouffle AU on Christmas Day, so keep your eye out for that and follow me if you're interested. As ever, thanks to everyone following and favouriting this story and all of those of who who keep reading and are reviewing, the support has been fantastic and keeps me writing. Next Chapter's up tomorrow, so be back then. Toodle-Pip for now TPD*
"Get out."
It was the Doctor who reacted quickest. Clara was staring at him, pain and desperation on her face. River's face fell slightly but she chuckled, clearly not understanding the gravity of the Doctor's situation.
"Well now sweetie, that's no way to say hi! This must be your new companion, pretty thing, but then they always are with you. Tut. Tut. Aren't you currently across London somewhere right now with Mummy and Daddy? You bad boy."
"River," he snapped. "Get out now."
"Who's this?" Mr Maitland asked, coming in from the other room, Dave in tow.
"Nobody," the Doctor snapped, the anger in his voice shocking everyone.
"I'm his wife," River announced with a grin and the Doctor spun on the spot to see Clara's heart shatter. Everyone else's jaw dropped.
"Ex-wife!" the Doctor added before anyone said a word.
"That's funny, I don't remember getting the divorce papers," River teased and the Doctor was done. He grabbed her, hauling her by the arm and she went with him, as he guided her out the house and shut the front door in her face. He raced back into the lounge, ignoring everyone as he strode to Clara's side.
"Clara," he whispered. "I didn't know she would come here, I promise. I have no idea how she found me, but she has a habit of doing that. You have to understand, for her, she can just pitch up whenever she wants, she has no concept of my timeline until she gets there. She doesn't know how long it's been for me," he sighed. "She doesn't know I've moved on. I'll get rid of her I promise. Five minutes. I'll be in the TARDIS."
"Five minutes," Clara agreed, wiping away a tear. "Then I'm coming after her myself Chin-Boy."
The Doctor heaved a huge sigh of relief as Clara smiled and he kissed the top of her head. His face was like thunder as he stormed out the house, leaving Clara to deal with her family. Nevertheless, he still envied her, his task was going to be so much harder.
"River!" he yelled as he threw open the TARDIS doors. "What the hell do you think you're playing at?"
"Aw, I'm sorry sweetie," she teased. "Did I embarrass you in front of your new companion? She looked like such a sweet little thing, bless her. No doubt, you never do pick ones that are anything else. Anyway, it's been a few months since we've seen each other and I wanted to check how you were doing." Her voice had turned serious with a touch of bitterness. "I see that my parents are well and truly in your past after all."
"No!" the Doctor yelled, slamming his fist on the console. "You don't get to dictate terms Professor River Song. You may have had a grip on me for the entirety of our relationship and I did love you once upon a time. But that's over now. Done, in the past. I'm not going to let you breeze in and ruin the life I'm building here with Clara. I won't."
"Life?" she snorted. "Clara's a rebound, you'll find another one soon enough you always do. We've been longer periods of time without seeing each other sweetie, you could at least pretend that you're happy to see me."
"No River," he groaned. "It hasn't been a few months. It's been over a century." She froze. "I spent a century, on a cloud in the sky, staying out of the world. I was damaged, broken. And I needed you. And you left me. You never came back. I stopped caring in the end. About everything. About everyone. I never even got to say goodbye. I didn't want to say goodbye by the end of it. All I wanted was for the world to leave me alone. I'd lost Amy and Rory, you'd gone. None of it made any sense. And then I met Clara. And she saved me. She made me whole again. She built me up from scratch and reminded me why I needed someone, and who I was. I was the Doctor and she brought me back from the brink. I said goodbye to you a long time ago River Song and I've had plenty of time to move on. So don't come waltzing in now and act like this is another visit. Because I have a new life now. One that I have no intention of giving up."
River was stunned. She threw herself at him, a stunned hug that he didn't have the heart to throw off. He'd been hard on her, he knew that. She'd done nothing wrong, she'd just showed up, expecting things to be the same as when she left. He hadn't realised how angry he'd been at her or how he'd wanted to see the end of her after Manhattan. But after saying goodbye at Trenzalore, he had gotten complete closure and he was happy with Clara. She leaned up and before he could stop her, she was kissing him.
"Doctor?"
He shoved River off and swivelled. He heard the TARDIS doors slam and his heart shattered into a million pieces. He swore in Gallifreyan for the second time that day and legged it. He saw the diminutive girl throw herself into the house and he chased after her. She slammed the door and he slipped his key into the lock. She opened the door before he got the chance to and stood over him, her eyes blotchy and red, her voice cracked.
"Go." The Doctor didn't understand. "Get out of my sight," Clara growled, in a voice the Doctor didn't even know she possessed. "I don't want to hear any excuses about how it's been 200 years or how she kissed you. Because that's what you do Doctor. You lie. And you entice people in with your lies and make them feel special. Make them feel like they're the only girl that matters. And then there you are, kissing your wife."
"Ex-wife!" the Doctor snapped.
"Well you never got a divorce and there she is, still alive!" Clara yelled. "So I guess she's still your wife. And don't give me any time is relative bullshit or any nonsense about scrambled timelines. Just go into that TARDIS, take River and show her the stars. Because I never want to see you again. You've been a delusion Doctor, a fantasy, one that I got way too attached to. So get out of my life, right now. Go."
And with that, she slammed the door in his face. The Doctor sank to his knees and screamed. He gabbled in Gallifreyan, cursing River, Clara, himself, anything and anyone. He stormed back into the TARDIS where River was waiting, trying her best not to look too guilty. His face was blank, his voice cold and empty of all emotion.
"Get out of my TARDIS," he told River. "This second."
"But Doctor," she stammered. "I…"
"Now!" he yelled, his voice pounding her like a jackhammer. "I don't care if you need a lift home or used up all your energy or just want to spend one more day with me. I'm done River. Clara was more than just my companion. She was my…kissing partner. My girlfriend," he said the words bitterly. "And I loved her more than I thought possible. So get out of my TARDIS because you have single-handedly put me back on that cloud. The universe has made it clear that I'm not allowed to be happy and once again, there you are River. Why are you always there when my life falls apart? Get out."
River obeyed, looking at him with a mixture of shame, fear and horror. Good. She should fear him. He was the Oncoming Storm and he'd been messing around for far too long. He'd been so busy trying to build a life with stupid Earth girls when there were Daleks, Cybermen and worse flooding the cosmos. He was going to burn them all. Because if he couldn't have Clara, if he couldn't be her Doctor, then he was nothing. He wasn't the Doctor. He felt like nothing and nobody.
"Geronimo," he said bitterly and kicked the TARDIS into life.
It had been two weeks since the Doctor had left and she hadn't heard anything from him. Clara had cried and cried and cried. She stared at the deeds to the small house she had bought for them, her other Christmas surprise for the Doctor. She had tried to hold herself together under interrogation from the Maitlands and her family, but she couldn't sustain it was a weeping wreck. She hated herself for it. She had spent the years after her mum died making herself strong, so she'd never be vulnerable. But the Doctor was different. He'd given her the universe. But the whole time, he'd probably been giving River the universe. Clara was bitter and angry. In her more rational moments, she told herself that he probably hadn't known she would ever appear again, but she couldn't believe it. He had a time machine, she reminded herself. He could slip off for an hour and spend a whole month canoodling River. The thought made her punch something.
Clara hadn't been able to pick herself up by the time school came around. She was preparing herself for the eventuality that the Doctor wouldn't be there but he was. He was teaching, same as before and the sight of him filled her with every emotion known to man. He ignored her though, and went about his work in silence before returning to the TARDIS. Maybe he was just making it hard for her. Or maybe he'd wanted to see her face once last time, she wasn't sure. It was obvious to everyone that something was wrong with Clara but she'd never felt more alone. She'd considered talking to Angie and Artie but though they knew he had a spaceship and was an alien, she couldn't bring herself to burden them. Her dad would never understand. The Doctor was hundreds of years old, probably thousands. Clara would be nothing more than a blip on his radar. He was gone and he'd move on. He probably already had. He had moved on quickly enough from River. Apparently.
She knew she was being irrational. And she didn't care. She missed the Doctor with every fibre of her being, but the break up would be far easier on him than her. It had to be. He could throw himself into saving the world, pick up some other floozy, while she was stuck living everyday life, picking up the pieces and desperately trying to fix the giant holes that the Doctor had left in her life. She was still ignoring the house. She hadn't turned it down, so she was still probably going to move in. She had a couple of months to deal with it and, as much as she would never admit it, part of her still hoped the Doctor would return. She knew she was being harsh on him, but the fact was their relationship was unsustainable. He'd have to leave sooner or later and he would be fine. He always was.
"This is my cloud," he said to her one day, but those were the only words he said to her after the breakup. Then, one day, Clara heard a knock at her door. It would be him, it had to be him. He had been the only person who visited before, so it was natural for him to be the only person knocking now. She still had a large box, with all his things thrown in. She'd considered giving it to him in school but that was too public. Too many rumours. She'd been meaning to ask him to come and get it, but she couldn't bring herself to even look at him in school, let alone speak to him. She toyed with not answering the door but decided that it was probably for the best that she get this over and done with. She opened the door and River Song was stood on her doorstep.
Clara slapped the older woman as hard as she could muster, launching herself at River, punching, kicking and screaming. River didn't try and resist, taking Clara's increasingly half-hearted blows with no resentment before Clara tired herself and stood, sobbing and staring in hatred at River Song. She hated River. She didn't know why. She had no reason to hate River; in fact River had helped her at Trenzalore and been perfectly pleasant. She supposed that was still in the future for River. This was probably the reason why she had been nice to Clara. But River was the symbol of why she and the Doctor could never work. He was old. Very old. And a time-traveller. River was supposedly hundreds of years into the Doctor's past and here she was on Clara's doorstep.
"Can I come in?" River asked shakily. "I just wanted to talk."
"Whatever bullshit you have to say," Clara kept her voice as even as possible. "I don't want to hear it. It's hard enough getting over the Doctor without you here at my door, bragging about how he'll always come back to you. Well you can have him," she spat. "Because he's a lying, cheating sack of shit."
"You don't really think that," River informed her and Clara narrowed her eyes. Who was River to tell her what she thought. "You can't think that about the Doctor. Oh he lies, but only when the situation requires it. You know him well enough to know that he'd never lie to you about something so personal or important. And he'd never cheat on you."
"Ha!" Clara snapped viciously. "You say that, but I caught you two in the act. I suppose that was all you was it River? He had absolutely nothing to do with it?"
"He hates me," River admitted, a brutal edge to her voice that took Clara aback. "He lost Amy and Rory and retreated to that cloud in the sky. And I was gone. I abandoned him. And then he met you. He loves you Clara that much is obvious. He says he hadn't seen me since Amy and Rory died and I believe him. I kissed him, not the other way round. And I know it may not seem like much," she bit her lip. "But I wouldn't have kissed him if I'd known about you. To me," River was opening up and Clara felt guilty. "He's always been my Doctor. When I've travelled with him, he's been alone or with my parents. I started to think I was the only woman that mattered in his life."
"I know the feeling," Clara muttered darkly. "Thank you River, but I don't want to hear it. A relationship with the Doctor is impossible and the sooner I cut the cord, the easier it'll be for both of us. I just needed you to remind me of that."
"He's worth it Clara," River finished, keying the vortex manipulator on her wrist. "He'll break your heart, but he's still worth every second of it. Don't give up on him. I don't know where he is, but the last thing he said to me before he threw me out the TARDIS was that he was going back to his cloud. Whatever that meant. I think you understand though."
And then she was gone. Clara pondered her last words. And what he had said to her: "This is my cloud." When the echo Clara had met him, the cloud had been literal. Was he meaning the school? Clara shrugged it off, but the feeling nagged her. She wanted to hate the Doctor. But she couldn't. She loved him and missed him. And that made the fact that she had to stay away from him that much harder…
