Chapter 211

And there's reason to believe

Patrick stared in complete disbelief as the FedEx delivery man continued to unload box after box in the entrance. He stopped counting after 10 boxes and groaned silently as he saw him return with another four. Not even Robin rubbing his arm could tear his eyes away from the now crowded entrance.

"Tell me again," he said.

Sighing quietly, Robin suppressed her smile. "We are exactly four weeks from the wedding and Brenda has had a few things shipped here - some decorations and other sundries" she said. "She and Alexis are coming over later and we're going to assemble the decorations."

Brenda had been in town exactly three days and when she realized the state of unreadiness for the wedding, she went into overdrive trying to make up for lost time. Patrick had just been trying to stay out of the way ever since as he knew in a battle between the groom and the maid of honour, the groom always loses.

"Do you want to stay and help us put stuff together?" she asked, knowing full well what the answer would be.

Finally pulling his gaze from the boxes, now numbering close to twenty, he looked at his girlfriend and shook his head. "No."

Grinning, Robin patted his shoulder. "It'll be okay Patrick, you can't actually catch estrogen from wedding decorations."

"I'm not sure that's been medically proven" he deadpanned. "I'm going to go and hang out with Eric for a while. Do you want me to take Kathleen?"

"Are you kidding?" She gave a small shake of her head. "Do you have any idea what would happen to me if Brenda showed up here and her goddaughter was nowhere in sight?"

A slow smirk formed on his face. "You're afraid. You're afraid of your best friend."

"NO!" she protested in vain. "Not afraid....just aware."

Sliding his arms around her waist, he pulled her to him and kissed her with infinite slowness. "It's okay" he told her against her lips, "your secret is safe with me."

******
The light snow crunched underfoot as he walked up the pathway towards the house. The sound of children's laughter echoed loudly across the yard as he rounded the bend he was greeted by the sight of Kristina, Josh and Eric putting the finishing touches on their tiny snowman.

"Smitty it's so nice to see you find someone your own age to play with" he teased.

The two children turned, faces beaming brightly and ran towards Patrick calling his name, practically tackling him. He hugged them both tightly and then tucked one under each arm as he walked towards Eric.

"Anything you want me to do with them?" he asked as the kids squealed in delight.

"I think we'll take them inside and make them do their homework" he joked

"NOOOO!!" they both cried.

"No?" Eric challenged. "Hmmm. Maybe then we should take them inside, make them some hot chocolate and let them watch a movie?"

"YAY!!"

"Seems like you have a winner" Patrick remarked as he carried them inside the house before setting them down.

The two tore off to the playroom while Eric got the hot chocolate ready. "Coffee? Beer?" Eric asked, plugging in the kettle.

"Beer would be great. Molly not around?"

He shook his head. "She's with Alexis at your house for wedding decorations - which is why I assume you are here, seeking a safe haven?"

Chuckling, Patrick nodded. "Something like that."

Filling two mugs with boiling water, Eric carried the steaming hot chocolate into the kids before returning to the living room and joining his friend on the couch.

"The kids seem happy" Patrick observed.

He nodded. "They are. Those two are closer than two peas in a pod - they are constantly joined at the hip - it's kind of nice to see."

"You've done great work with Josh."

It had not escaped anyone's notice that the once quiet and timid boy was truly coming into his own. He spoke more loudly, melted down less, laughed more and his near nightly nightmares were slowly receding. He was affectionate with those he trusted and stopped flinching at every loud noise and bang. Even his health seemed more stable over the last few months. Eric continued to pray for a transplant sooner rather than later but overall was thrilled with the progress Josh had made.

"I didn't do it on my own," he demurred. "Alexis has played a big part there too. One of the great things about being married is having someone to help shoulder the load. Speaking of which, one final month of singledom for you. Are you ready to give it all up?"

Patrick took a long drink from his beer before answering. "Truthfully? I gave it up a long time ago. You know, I still remember the day she practically kicked in the OR doors and found me in flagrante on the table." He shook his head in amazement. "I think I knew my life was about to change, I just had no idea how."

"If you ask me I think you were ready for it to change. You were definitely in a rut."

He agreed. "Yeah. I know I always said I never wanted this-"

"Because you were afraid if you got it, it would be taken away."

Patrick smiled and nodded. "I didn't want to be my father."

"And you aren't. You are your own man making your own choices." Leaning foward he brought his elbows to rest on his knees. "I was sure you were never going to let this happen and that made me sad for you."

Exhaling slowly, he mirrored his friend's position. "Well I certainly did my best to fuck it up but I'm glad I didn't because look at everything I would have missed. I know....I know we're in a race against time and I'm never - I'm never going to get to do everything I want with her. But watching her and Kathleen over the last three months and knowing what it means to love them, I would take every minute of that I can, even with the inevitable pain to come, rather than not to have experienced it at all."

Eric was quiet for several minutes. He was absolutely amazed at how far his friend had come from their days in Manhattan. What he had never told him and had no intention of sharing was that he remembered some of Patrick's ramblings when he sat at his bedside, encouraging Eric to fight. He remembered him talking, in the wee hours, about how some day he really did want it all but was so confident he would fail that it was better not to try. Looking at his friend now he knew the axiom was true - fortune truly did favour the brave.

"Have you written your vows yet?" he asked when he finally spoke.

The corners of Patrick's mouth twitched upwards. "More or less," he admitted. "I know what I want to say and now I'm just kind of waiting to get that chance. I never thought I would be the one rushing to get married but I wish Christmas would just hurry up and get here already"

Eric laughed lightly shaking his head. "So far gone" he teased.

"Look who's talking, Mister Mom." Holding up his beer bottle, he extened to the neck towards Eric. "To the love of a good woman."

Clinking bottles, he nodded. "And to finally finding family."

*****
The three women sat at the dining table making roses out of layers of tule. Brenda had set up the room with military precision and had them working in tandem but despite her bossy efforts they were still laughing loudly and enjoying themselves. Molly was ensconced on the couch with Kathleen watching a Dora video and taking great pains to explain the intricacies to the young baby.

As Brenda moved about the room in an almost frantic pace, Robin filled Alexis' wine glass before turning her attention to her best friend. "Bren, have you considered a few less espressos?"

"What?" she asked distractedly as she rifled through a box.

"Less caffeine. Less Red Bull. More sedatives?" she offered.

Placing another set of tulle on the table she looked at Robin. "Oh. You're making fun of me."

Taking a drink of her wine, she nodded. "Yup. Pretty much."

"You mock me now but you'll be thanking me when the church looks completely magical. And since there are no such thing as fairies, the magic isn't going to just happen by itself."

Laughing, Alexis got to her feet and practically dragged Brenda to a chair. "You need wine" she told her, pouring her a glass. "And some valium. It's not often I'm in a room with someone more neurotic than I am so thanks for this."

Seeing her friend's brown furrow Robin leaned foward. "Brenda, you're like a woman possessed. Take a minute to stop and smell the roses" she told her, holding up one of the finished decorations.

The tension broken, Brenda laughed and took a slow sip of her drink. "I am being a little crazed, aren't I?"

Robin nodded. "But hey, better you than me! There will be no bridezilla stories to tell about me."

With a sheepish smile, Brenda set her drink down on the table. "But this is your only wedding and I want it to be amazing for you."

"Oh I don't know," Robin joked breezily, "I could be like Elizabeth Taylor and get divorced and remarried a ton of times! We could be doing this over and over again for years!"

With a serious expression on her face, Brenda shook her head. "You won't. This is your only wedding. You've been waiting your whole life for Patrick and now that you found him, you won't let him go. And I....I've been waiting a long time for you to be this happy." The former model's eyes welled with tears and much to her chagrin, several trickled down her cheeks.

"Oh Bren!" Robin exclaimed jumping from her chair and taking her friend in her arms. "Don't cry."

"I'm sorry," she apologized, wiping her tears. "I just...I remember all of it" she replied with a shrug. "Stone, Jason, heartbreak and your belief that you would never be loved again. I didn't believe that - I was sure that there would be someone who would know you for the incredible person you are and I'm just so glad that you found him - or he found you."

"I found him" she said with a laugh, retaking her seat. "I walked in on him having sex and told him to finish up and make it quick because I needed a miracle and he was it. I had no idea how right I was at the time." Sipping her wine, she smiled. "I know there a lot of people who would look at me and not consider me lucky but I don't agree with them. I mean, I would love a life without HIV but I do know that I've been taken down a path because of it and some amazing things - incredible things - have happened to me along the way. I fell in love - a deep, unrestrained love with a man who gives me so much more than he realizes. I have a baby girl who is beautiful and awe-inspiring and a gift and I have special friends," she smiled looking at the two women, "who have loved me and supported me without condition. I may not live long enough to comb grey through my hair but I will live each day being loved and loving and that has been worth everything to get here."

The three women clinked their glasses together.

"To being brave enough to love freely" Alexis toasted.

"To finding someone to love freely" Brenda offered.

"To being loved by friends and family."